Tough Love.

[IndieHibby]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/6532918/Tough-love-do-your-children-a-favour.html?state=target#postacomment&postingId=6537415

Discuss.

[Jack]

I just about always wanted to be ‘firmer’ with my kids than my ex, their mother, wanted to be, it caused endless arguments – all her arguments seemed endless! So when the time came that her behaviour meant I could no longer stay she was left as their sole/main disciplinarian.


TOUGH LOVE TIPS

Þ Praise your children for good behaviour. Tell them you love them and give them a hug to reinforce the message. Yes

Þ Lay down boundaries, such as bed times and the length of time that can be spent on the computer or watching television, and stick to them. No

Þ Make clear what sanctions will result from bad behaviour, so children know the consequences of their actions. No

Þ Always keep your promises and carry out threatened sanctions. No

Þ Be consistent and never give in to a tantrum, however tempting or embarrassing the situation; if you do, it gives your child carte blanche to repeat the behaviour. No

Þ Ensure both parents adopt the same approach, so the children don’t play one adult off against the other. They still try!


Hell mend her, she brought about the problems she’s had upon herself.

The kids know where they are with me and know how far they can go and the consequences, of course they push but they know when to stop. It makes life so much simpler, all round. But as the kids tell me ‘I’m an old fashioned Dad.’

[IndieHibby]

I just about always wanted to be ‘firmer’ with my kids than my ex, their mother, wanted to be, it caused endless arguments – all her arguments seemed endless! So when the time came that her behaviour meant I could no longer stay she was left as their sole/main disciplinarian.



Hell mend her, she brought about the problems she’s had upon herself.

The kids know where they are with me and know how far they can go and the consequences, of course they push but they know when to stop. It makes life so much simpler, all round. But as the kids tell me ‘I’m an old fashioned Dad.’


As a secondary school teacher, all I can say is that this is a massive compliment to you.

[Jack]

As a secondary school teacher, all I can say is that this is a massive compliment to you.

As a Dad I can only sympathise with you! :wink:

[Woody1985]

My girlfriends kid is a little **** a lot of the time.

If she doesn't get what she wants, she will cry or keep asking over and over and over and over and over again. No matter how many times she is told no, and I mean no matter how many times, she'll literally ask you something 30, 40 times over until you give in.

If you tell her not to do something she will insist on doing it just that one more time to really piss you off.

I don't know if this is partly due to my presence. I've been with my gf for about 2.5 years (although we've been on and off a the last few months). The kid is about 4years, 3months so I've been around a fair bit and she still see's her dad once a week (most of the time).

My gf has tried pretty much everything, from not buying sweets, taking all the toys out of her room, giving her a tanned arse, ignoring her but nothing works.

We even made up that there was a bad man that would take her to the jaggy jumper home (that's what I used to get told!). That worked to an extent for about a month or two but now she's wise to it and just ignores that aswell.

The gf reads her books at night, plays with her, does her hair all different ways etc all of the time. I see her almost everyday and have fun etc aswell.

I'm sure some kids are little devil childs that no techniques will ever work with!

[Betty Boop]

I have never raised my hand to my son or daughter, but then I don't believe in violence. Punishment in temper is wrong IMO, for example if your friend or neighbour did something you disagreed with, you wouldn't hit them. So why is it ok to hit someone smaller and more vulnerable? I don't believe children understand that the pain of smacking is intended to help. I think it is really up to individual parents to decide.

[hibsbollah]

http://www.demos.co.uk/publications/parenting

As usual, the media outlet puts their chosen spin on it. The Telegraph quote made it seem as if the report was criticising 'working class' families and hinting that 'tough love' meant 'hitting your kids'. I can't see any evidence of either of those recommendations in the actual report (link above). 'Warmth and consistency' seems to be what Demos is advocating.

[lyonhibs]

I got smacked when merited when I was younger, and it didn't do me any harm.

Discuss :devil:

Nah, but seriously, to be taken seriously as a parent (not that I'd know from personal experience, unless I've got a VERY nasty surprise heading in my direction :greengrin) you need to establish yourself early doors as THE position of authority - no giving in to every time your kid screams (assuming, of course that said kid isn't hurt, ill or legitimately hungry/thirsty etc) from a very young age is the way to go IMO.

Apparently, if I was just being a little ***** for the sake of it, I'd be put in my cot to yell myself until I was blue in the face, whilst my mum and dad just went upstairs, closed all doors and put on some music.

I remember, only a couple of years ago, one of my mate's mums asking him to make her a cup of tea. He just said "no" and she went to make it herself - he's not particularly rude or ill-brought up, but must have been more spoilt than me as a bairn, becasue if I told my mum "no" to that same question, or any other reasonable request, I'd be leaving the house in a bodybag (well, not quite, but you get what I mean :greengrin) and quite rightly so IMO.

[ArabHibee]

My girlfriends kid is a little **** a lot of the time.

If she doesn't get what she wants, she will cry or keep asking over and over and over and over and over again. No matter how many times she is told no, and I mean no matter how many times, she'll literally ask you something 30, 40 times over until you give in.

If you tell her not to do something she will insist on doing it just that one more time to really piss you off.

I don't know if this is partly due to my presence. I've been with my gf for about 2.5 years (although we've been on and off a the last few months). The kid is about 4years, 3months so I've been around a fair bit and she still see's her dad once a week (most of the time).

My gf has tried pretty much everything, from not buying sweets, taking all the toys out of her room, giving her a tanned arse, ignoring her but nothing works.

We even made up that there was a bad man that would take her to the jaggy jumper home (that's what I used to get told!). That worked to an extent for about a month or two but now she's wise to it and just ignores that aswell.

The gf reads her books at night, plays with her, does her hair all different ways etc all of the time. I see her almost everyday and have fun etc aswell.

I'm sure some kids are little devil childs that no techniques will ever work with!

Most definitely an Edinburgh threat!! :faf: