Are you being bullied? Are you a bully?

[Hibbyradge]

Following on from the whistleblowing thread, i thought this subject deserved its own discussion.

I've been working with some clients recently who have had problems with bullies and I thought it might be an interesting subject for in here.

This is a super site (http://www.bullyonline.org) with information about all types of bullying, school, family etc as well as the area I'm interested in, the workplace.

Click on the link in the middle of the opening page and a feast of information/links become available.

Actually, this link (http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm) is probably a better starting place.

Has anyone any experience of bullying in the workplace?

[therealgavmac]

I've had experience of "counselling" those who are probably not aware they are being bullied in the workplace.

I was (amongst other things) the HR Manager at my last employers before they made me redundant (go figure!) and bullying in the workplace is a minefield. And, of course, totally unacceptable.

The "being sent to Coventry", favouritism, "victimisation", etc etc. Anybody wants advice on how to resign and then claim for constructive dismissal because of bullying - I'm your man!

Of course, there is a cycle to go through first!

By the way Hibbyradge - always loved your avatar!

[Hibbyradge]

Anybody wants advice on how to resign and then claim for constructive dismissal because of bullying - I'm your man!

Of course, there is a cycle to go through first!



I might just take you up on that, Gav. (Not for me, I hasten to add.)

What's the cycle, in layman's terms?

[therealgavmac]

I might just take you up on that, Gav. (Not for me, I hasten to add.)

What's the cycle, in layman's terms?

I know this seems laborious, but the first thing you need to do is start recording everything- you've got to live by the rule of "If it's not written down it never happened" Dates, instances etc

Good practice on all advice websites will tell you that you need to approach the individual who is "dishing it out" to give them a chance to mend their ways. There is malice in most cases of real bullying, but one-in-a-thousand will not be aware of their actions.

Your employer - whoever they may be - (and by law) should have a grievance procedure - sometimes attached to the disciplinary procedure.

Once exhausting all of this, then you have the choice to resign and claim for constructive dismissal - because their actions made it impossible for you to work there.

Points to be aware of:

Never use a "no win no fee" lawyer - always find one with a track record in Employment Law
Be aware of actions after you go through the procedures stated and you are given assurances that things will change - it's possible the bullying can take a different form afterwards
I'm sure you are aware, but bullying is not the traditional physical type - it is also psychological - language, communication, suggestion, threats etc.


Phew! :dizzy:

[Hibbyradge]

I know this seems laborious, but the first thing you need to do is start recording everything- you've got to live by the rule of "If it's not written down it never happened" Dates, instances etc

Good practice on all advice websites will tell you that you need to approach the individual who is "dishing it out" to give them a chance to mend their ways. There is malice in most cases of real bullying, but one-in-a-thousand will not be aware of their actions.

Your employer - whoever they may be - (and by law) should have a grievance procedure - sometimes attached to the disciplinary procedure.

Once exhausting all of this, then you have the choice to resign and claim for constructive dismissal - because their actions made it impossible for you to work there.

Points to be aware of:

Never use a "no win no fee" lawyer - always find one with a track record in Employment Law
Be aware of actions after you go through the procedures stated and you are given assurances that things will change - it's possible the bullying can take a different form afterwards
I'm sure you are aware, but bullying is not the traditional physical type - it is also psychological - language, communication, suggestion, threats etc.


Phew! :dizzy:

Thanks for that.

Yes, I'm only too well aware of what bullying is, it's rarely physical in the workplace in my experience, but I wasn't sure what cycle you meant.

Hopefully I can help my clients out of their nightmares without the need for constructive dismissal litigation, but I'll bear what you said in mind.

Cheers.

[BroxburnHibee]

I have been told to tell my Polish workers not to speak in their language and to talk English as much as possible....

Could that be construed as bullying and is my manager bullying me by forcing me to carry this out?

Personally I find it uncomfortable.

[creebo1875]

what about being called a "bead rattler" for having a hibs cup at work.

[Arch Stanton]

I have been told to tell my Polish workers not to speak in their language and to talk English as much as possible....

Could that be construed as bullying and is my manager bullying me by forcing me to carry this out?

Personally I find it uncomfortable.

I would say your manager is asking you to be a bully like him(or her)self and I would find it uncomfortable too.

However, if it is anything like the company (RBS) I worked for long enough to get a pension from (yayy!!!!!), the bullying is endemic to the organisation so much so that it is built into Human Resource procedures and as such would never be construed as bullying.

If anything it is to be regarded as best practice and is the reason why Fred Goodwin not so long ago used to be regarded as someone at the top of his game. But I have no doubt however that the new bosses there are every bit as aggressive as the old bosses - it just goes on.

[vein]

I have been told to tell my Polish workers not to speak in their language and to talk English as much as possible....

Could that be construed as bullying and is my manager bullying me by forcing me to carry this out?

Personally I find it uncomfortable.

I think that it all depends on the situation but I would tend to agree with your manager.

The experience I had was of working as a driver for a restaraunt that employed quite a few Polish staff. They were always told by the owner to speak in English (obviously to the customers but also when out of customer earshot). I sat one night cashing up with the other driver and a waitress who were both Polish. Both proceeded to have a chat in Polish which I thought was a little rude seeing as I was sitting at the same table and felt totally excluded (I only knew the bad words taught to me by the Polish pizza chef :greengrin).

Plus you would have no idea what they were saying unless you had a grasp of the language yourself. It would be like me using a code to speak at work when I didnt want someone earwigging on my mundane chat :greengrin.

[steakbake]

Following on from the whistleblowing thread, i thought this subject deserved its own discussion.

I've been working with some clients recently who have had problems with bullies and I thought it might be an interesting subject for in here.

This is a super site (http://www.bullyonline.org) with information about all types of bullying, school, family etc as well as the area I'm interested in, the workplace.

Click on the link in the middle of the opening page and a feast of information/links become available.

Actually, this link (http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm) is probably a better starting place.

Has anyone any experience of bullying in the workplace?

Last place I worked, bullying was rampant and it was from the very highest level of the place right down to the folks who unlocked the building and emptied the buckets.

If enough people bully, then eventually it becomes the working culture of the organisation

[Peevemor]

Both proceeded to have a chat in Polish which I thought was a little rude seeing as I was sitting at the same table and felt totally excluded (I only knew the bad words taught to me by the Polish pizza chef :greengrin).

That's why I'd pull them for it. In the house I normally speak English to my (French) wife, but as soon as someone else is about I always use French out of respect/politesse.

[lapsedhibee]

That's why I'd pull them for it. In the house I normally speak English to my (French) wife, but as soon as someone else is about I always use French out of respect/politesse.

:grr:

[Peevemor]

:grr:

:nerd:http://www.thefreedictionary.com/politesse

[Arch Stanton]

:nerd:http://www.thefreedictionary.com/politesse

But the question here isn't about how polite you are but what actions you take against people you deem to be impolite? Isn't it?

[Peevemor]

But the question here isn't about how polite you are but what actions you take against people you deem to be impolite? Isn't it?

If someone is being ignorant, you're not being a bully by telling them so.

[Arch Stanton]

If someone is being ignorant, you're not being a bully by telling them so.

You are being a bully in forcing someone to abide by your notions of what is polite and intelligent.

In my view at least.

[lapsedhibee]

:nerd:http://www.thefreedictionary.com/politesse

:wink:

[Peevemor]

You are being a bully in forcing someone to abide by your notions of what is polite and intelligent.

In my view at least.

Sorry, I disagree. If 2 people at work were constantly whispering to each other so nobody else could hear, this could be construed as sinister by their colleagues regardless of what they're actually saying - the result would be an unhealthy atmosphere. Would it be bullying to ask them to cut it out?

For me it's the same with the language thing. Although it's obviously easier to speak in your native tongue, people have to remember where they are and show a bit of respect to those around them.

As an immigrant in a foreign country, believe me I know all about this stuff.

[Arch Stanton]

Sorry, I disagree. If 2 people at work were constantly whispering to each other so nobody else could hear, this could be construed as sinister by their colleagues regardless of what they're actually saying - the result would be an unhealthy atmosphere. Would it be bullying to ask them to cut it out?

For me it's the same with the language thing. Although it's obviously easier to speak in your native tongue, people have to remember where they are and show a bit of respect to those around them.

As an immigrant in a foreign country, believe me I know all about this stuff.

Sounds like you should stop whispering in a conspiratorial way if you don't want to be ostracised - living in a foreign country I mean. :agree:

[Peevemor]

Sounds like you should stop whispering in a conspiratorial way if you don't want to be ostracised - living in a foreign country I mean. :agree:

... or speaking a different language than the majority of your colleagues.

[Arch Stanton]

... or speaking a different language than the majority of your colleagues.

Out of interest, would that include Gaelic?

[Peevemor]

Out of interest, would that include Gaelic?

Definitely. They're the worst - years of drinking regularly at the West End Hotel in Palmerston Place taught me a thing or two about the ways of the gaelic mafia.

[Arch Stanton]

Definitely. They're the worst - years of drinking regularly at the West End Hotel in Palmerston Place taught me a thing or two about the ways of the gaelic mafia.

And it never occurred to you that it was the alcohol that was making their inebriated plotting against you unintelligible?

[Peevemor]

And it never occurred to you that it was the alcohol that was making their inebriated plotting against you unintelligible?

No.

[Arch Stanton]

No.

I'll take that as non then - you never know whose earwigging. :agree:

[Peevemor]

I'll take that as non then - you never know whose earwigging. :agree:

I'm not paranoid, but just in case ...

[greenlex]

And it never occurred to you that it was the alcohol that was making their inebriated plotting against you unintelligible?
Funnily enough the only time I am able to actually speak gaelic is when I am pished. :agree: