When is the right time to tell children about the wrongs of the world?

[da-robster]

As the title said having to do some work on this I was wonderering what does everyone else think.
Do you think that it should be done when older or when very young gradually or straight away?

Personally I think that hoarding secrets away from them doesn't work but I don't think children should be told about scary things which they won't understand.

[Phil D. Rolls]

As the title said having to do some work on this I was wonderering what does everyone else think.
Do you think that it should be done when older or when very young gradually or straight away?

Personally I think that hoarding secrets away from them doesn't work but I don't think children should be told about scary things which they won't understand.

It depends on the child. I think it is very important to tell children the truth, but you have to judge whether they can understand what you are saying. As a general rule, if the kid is asking a question on a difficult subject, they at least deserve the decency of an attempt at an answer.

[steakbake]

I think kids should be presented with a balanced approach to this. I agree there are a lot of "bad things" in the world, but kids should also be shown that there are a great deal of "good things" about the world. There are also ways of reacting and thinking and putting "bad things" and "good things" into perspective which should be encouraged.

I think we should also be careful. What is a "bad" thing, necessarily? In calling it a "bad" thing, are we already prejuding and projecting an assumed reaction to it? Who decides what is bad and what is good?

Take death for example. I am sure most people would agree that death and dying is a bad thing. Equally though, it is an unavoidable, inescapable fact of life. It is a natural consequence of being born and is a natural event. Should we be teaching kids to see death as "bad" and react to it as such or should we be teaching them that it is a natural process to be accepted and understood? Do we need to make it explicit and point out that it will happen to everyone that they know?

It is a considerable ethical question and I think you could get a room full of educationalists and they wouldn't be unable to give you a figure of an age, let alone agree on a list of what is a good or bad thing.

[ginger_rice]

It depends on the child. I think it is very important to tell children the truth, but you have to judge whether they can understand what you are saying. As a general rule, if the kid is asking a question on a difficult subject, they at least deserve the decency of an attempt at an answer.

:agree::agree: Be honest with them even wee bairns aren't daft, and if you do lie to them it will only come back and bite you in the bum at some point in the future. I also honestly believe that we now wrap kids up in cotton wool far too often, pretending that the nasty things in life don't exist IMHO doesn't really help. Tell kids the truth, within reason and let them make their own minds up.

[Toaods]

As the title said having to do some work on this I was wonderering what does everyone else think.
Do you think that it should be done when older or when very young gradually or straight away?

Personally I think that hoarding secrets away from them doesn't work but I don't think children should be told about scary things which they won't understand.


I've pretty much always told my one the truth about things.

One of my notoriously ghoulish things was when she was about 5.

Some may recall, a Taiwanese lady was ploughed down by an LRT bus in Princes Street just at South St David's Street junction...we were walking past on the pavement moments later behind the barriers, so I explained the splugy mess as a way of instilling awareness of the roads. Far better than some big burly 6' 2" cop at school boring them to death with hi-vis jackets. She never races over a road and is knows it's better to bide yer time crossing rather than trying to nip over inbetween Hamilton and Button.

[Jay]

Answer the questions to their understanding when they ask them.

My 7 year old goes through the paper daily asking about different stories. I tell him the truth but sometimes it is very watered down. The other day it was the story of the australian girl in Edinburgh who was kidnapped and raped by the polish guys. I explained that they had taken her and done really horrible things to her and hurt her and one had killed himself and one had been put in prison for a very long time. I also explain that these things are in the paper becaue they dont happen very often and all about thinking about our own saftey.

He can obviously read now and asked what raped meant, I feel he is far too young to have any understanding of this so I just said it was the way they hurt her, like strangled or kicked. He was happy with that answer.

They also know a bit about Afghanistan and Bin Laden etc but again only to their ability to understand it.

[Killiehibbie]

The worst thing is when they ask, Why did he do that?

[ArabHibee]

Answer the questions to their understanding when they ask them.

My 7 year old goes through the paper daily asking about different stories. I tell him the truth but sometimes it is very watered down. The other day it was the story of the australian girl in Edinburgh who was kidnapped and raped by the polish guys. I explained that they had taken her and done really horrible things to her and hurt her and one had killed himself and one had been put in prison for a very long time. I also explain that these things are in the paper becaue they dont happen very often and all about thinking about our own saftey.

He can obviously read now and asked what raped meant, I feel he is far too young to have any understanding of this so I just said it was the way they hurt her, like strangled or kicked. He was happy with that answer.

They also know a bit about Afghanistan and Bin Laden etc but again only to their ability to understand it.

Jill, I forget, how did you answer your 8 year old when he asked why the lady's "flower" was unbalanced? :greengrin

[Jay]

Jill, I forget, how did you answer your 8 year old when he asked why the lady's "flower" was unbalanced? :greengrin

:greengrin I dont think I did - I think we just laughed. SOME questions are unanswerable no matter what age they are :faf: