Twilight

[Phil D. Rolls]

The Missus is heavily into all these books, what's it all about. I watched the movie and thought it was High School Musical meets Twin Peaks. Anyone a fan, and can tell me what the attraction is?

[Sylar]

I'm a fan of them, but can't quite explain why...

Annoyingly addictive!

The film isn't quite as good as the books though...

:duck:

[mickeythehibbee]

The Missus is heavily into all these books, what's it all about. I watched the movie and thought it was High School Musical meets Twin Peaks. Anyone a fan, and can tell me what the attraction is?

I hate it more than anything else i saw all last year!

It's not that it's the worst film but it ******s about with vampire mythology so as to make it stupid.

"Oh look there's the sun i might sparkle a bit!"

Unmitigated crap IMHO :agree:

[shamo9]

Twilight's 'plot' in 7 easy steps link (http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs31/f/2008/187/a/4/Why_you_should_read_Twilight_by_Gigglish.png)

Warning - a big rant awaits!

This movie is the epitome of all chick flicks. Vampires who are hundreds of years old... yet are struggling through high school.... really... REALLY? Its like they took every harlequin romance novel, every vampire seductress vignette, and emo tastic fanfiction and condensed it into this 2 hour suckfest.

It was so freaking cliche I think my anus started to bleed from getting reamed so badly.

There was the protagonist, Bella. A pale skinned raven haired girl who was socially awkward. Men wanted to be with her, women wanted to be her. She is the talk of this small town and every one knows her name.

But wait, she is unassuming and sees herself as plane old vanilla. That last bit was a portrayal from the books which I tried to give a chance but failed. She cannot see her "Beauty" and spends half her time gasping for breath as she is in the presence of her love interest. Edward

It gets worse...

the love interest:

A pale skinned, eternally 17 year old boy with goku like brown hair and snow white skin is her emo tastic ying to his gothfag yang. Some classic Edward lines

" I feel very protective of you..."
" You need to stay away from me..."
" I can't stay away from you..."
" I'm sorry I put you in danger."
" I'm a monster."

His insipid one liners are pretty much straight out of the book and he some how brings them down to a new level of craptastic glory.

Oh and let's not forget. He sparkles in the sunlight.

The supporting cast was ok in that they made the best out of a horribly disgusting series.

Honestly, I actually had to catch myself as I couldn't keep a straight face while watching it in theaters. I snickered and giggled when teens around the theatre were swooning at the "Romance". I was forced to go home and find a cam to rewatch scenes at the insistence of my date because she felt I did not see them for the romantic portrayals of love that they were.

The only reason to see this movie is for a laugh and the girlfriend. And even then... if your like me, you wont be able to keep a straight face the entire time. You'll chuckle at scenes that will no doubt make your date very irate.

Oh and the only good part in the movie, that didn't suck I suppose was when Edwards vampire sister who comes off as a kind of bubbly luna like character at the end jumps on the villains back and starts ripping the guys head off. Though you don't see it, it is shot very well and makes the vampires look like a pack of animals as they dismember their enemy.


Strangely the later books form a plethora of amusing shenanigans - it's absolutely hilarious. Seriously. There's a scene where a baby basically claws its way out of its mother's uterus.

The two leads have a very strange 'romance' to say the least. He basically tells her what to do, demands answers from her when he wants them, is rude to her, and I think in the books he tells her when to eat as well.

Then drags her around by the elbow every now and then.

Let's not forget the stalking. He doesn't hide the fact that he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep, searches for her when she leaves town on a girls night out, or has an inexplicable need to know her every thought.

Now its all fun and games on the Internets, but in real life I'd think he'd get smacked at least. The squealing teen girls lapped it up in the cinema but if a real man talked to them like that he'd be in handcuffs within ten minutes.

Oh, and we can't have a good story without morals of course, so here's the ones Twilight provides:

1. Never EVER have sex before you are married.
2. A woman can never be truly happy if she doesn't have a child
3. Never EVER, not even if you're dead, not even if the baby is a crazy flesh eating monster, should you have an abortion.

Did I mention that the author is a Mormon? What do expect from a woman with a husband and three boys who graduated from Brigham Young?

A practicing Mormon writes a book which glorifies pedophilia, disdains abortion, and opposes pre-marital sex.

Q: Should we be surprised?

A: No.

Even the leading actor, Robert Pattinson, agrees that she's mental

"I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

He also describes Twilight fans as: "Terrifying. It's like the sound you hear at the Gates of Hell."

I could go on, but anyway...

Guys have porn, girls have this ****, and just like women wouldn't want a porno flick becoming widespread and mainstream, men don't want this drivel infecting literature.

In short: kill it with righteous fire.

[Phil D. Rolls]

Vampire mythology isn't what it used to be. There seem to be a whole raft of films and books, out of the USA, reinventing the Vampire story.

I like a strightforward Vampire, who cannot go out in daylight, but in Twilight apparently they can, just that they sparkle like diamonds. Is this what Nosferatu and others struggled for - pop star Vampires? Even Van Helsing can't possibly be happy with the new versions.

There's some guy, who operates as a detective tracking down the bad Vampire, and he only lives on blood from the blood bank. At first you think it's all a joke, like George Hamilton in Love at First Bite. These guys are serious though.

Even the Lost Boys and Dusk til Dawn make more sense to me than these new teen Vampires.

Can't wait to find out what happens in New Moon though.

[Sylar]

The one thing which really alarms me about this series is the intensity of emotion it generates. Be it on either side, the love or hatred for them is quite frightening, and I think that in itself, is a testament to their success, as I can't remember a film as divisive in quite a wee while. It very much is a "marmite" film.


And Shamo - 2 points:

a) find a girlfriend/watch some porn or something - all that stress can't be good for such a young guy

b) don't consider University as a step after high school, as plaigarism is a very heavily frowned upon act.

[SHODAN]

Twilight's 'plot' in 7 easy steps link (http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs31/f/2008/187/a/4/Why_you_should_read_Twilight_by_Gigglish.png)

Warning - a big rant awaits!

This movie is the epitome of all chick flicks. Vampires who are hundreds of years old... yet are struggling through high school.... really... REALLY? Its like they took every harlequin romance novel, every vampire seductress vignette, and emo tastic fanfiction and condensed it into this 2 hour suckfest.

It was so freaking cliche I think my anus started to bleed from getting reamed so badly.

There was the protagonist, Bella. A pale skinned raven haired girl who was socially awkward. Men wanted to be with her, women wanted to be her. She is the talk of this small town and every one knows her name.

But wait, she is unassuming and sees herself as plane old vanilla. That last bit was a portrayal from the books which I tried to give a chance but failed. She cannot see her "Beauty" and spends half her time gasping for breath as she is in the presence of her love interest. Edward

It gets worse...

the love interest:

A pale skinned, eternally 17 year old boy with goku like brown hair and snow white skin is her emo tastic ying to his gothfag yang. Some classic Edward lines

" I feel very protective of you..."
" You need to stay away from me..."
" I can't stay away from you..."
" I'm sorry I put you in danger."
" I'm a monster."

His insipid one liners are pretty much straight out of the book and he some how brings them down to a new level of craptastic glory.

Oh and let's not forget. He sparkles in the sunlight.

The supporting cast was ok in that they made the best out of a horribly disgusting series.

Honestly, I actually had to catch myself as I couldn't keep a straight face while watching it in theaters. I snickered and giggled when teens around the theatre were swooning at the "Romance". I was forced to go home and find a cam to rewatch scenes at the insistence of my date because she felt I did not see them for the romantic portrayals of love that they were.

The only reason to see this movie is for a laugh and the girlfriend. And even then... if your like me, you wont be able to keep a straight face the entire time. You'll chuckle at scenes that will no doubt make your date very irate.

Oh and the only good part in the movie, that didn't suck I suppose was when Edwards vampire sister who comes off as a kind of bubbly luna like character at the end jumps on the villains back and starts ripping the guys head off. Though you don't see it, it is shot very well and makes the vampires look like a pack of animals as they dismember their enemy.


Strangely the later books form a plethora of amusing shenanigans - it's absolutely hilarious. Seriously. There's a scene where a baby basically claws its way out of its mother's uterus.

The two leads have a very strange 'romance' to say the least. He basically tells her what to do, demands answers from her when he wants them, is rude to her, and I think in the books he tells her when to eat as well.

Then drags her around by the elbow every now and then.

Let's not forget the stalking. He doesn't hide the fact that he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep, searches for her when she leaves town on a girls night out, or has an inexplicable need to know her every thought.

Now its all fun and games on the Internets, but in real life I'd think he'd get smacked at least. The squealing teen girls lapped it up in the cinema but if a real man talked to them like that he'd be in handcuffs within ten minutes.

Oh, and we can't have a good story without morals of course, so here's the ones Twilight provides:

1. Never EVER have sex before you are married.
2. A woman can never be truly happy if she doesn't have a child
3. Never EVER, not even if you're dead, not even if the baby is a crazy flesh eating monster, should you have an abortion.

Did I mention that the author is a Mormon? What do expect from a woman with a husband and three boys who graduated from Brigham Young?

A practicing Mormon writes a book which glorifies pedophilia, disdains abortion, and opposes pre-marital sex.

Q: Should we be surprised?

A: No.

Even the leading actor, Robert Pattinson, agrees that she's mental

"I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

He also describes Twilight fans as: "Terrifying. It's like the sound you hear at the Gates of Hell."

I could go on, but anyway...

Guys have porn, girls have this ****, and just like women wouldn't want a porno flick becoming widespread and mainstream, men don't want this drivel infecting literature.

In short: kill it with righteous fire.

Amen to that.

[shamo9]

The one thing which really alarms me about this series is the intensity of emotion it generates. Be it on either side, the love or hatred for them is quite frightening, and I think that in itself, is a testament to their success, as I can't remember a film as divisive in quite a wee while. It very much is a "marmite" film.


And Shamo - 2 points:

a) find a girlfriend/watch some porn or something - all that stress can't be good for such a young guy

b) don't consider University as a step after high school, as plaigarism is a very heavily frowned upon act.

Scott - 3 points:

A) I don't hate the series, I don't even hate the author (considering she published yours truly in Teen Ink - she can obviously spot talent). What I hate is the idiotic fans that think 'ZOMG pure amazing, best thing eva!' Ignore them you say? A bit difficult considering they live under the same roof!
Examples: linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=-turfrcQY-w&feature=channel), linky2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6d5YLGgYtM)
More power to Stephenie Meyer, she's manipulated people into thinking she has a modicum of talent, she's stuck to a tight target audience and raped them mentally, in the process making her quite a tidy sum.

B) Stressed? I'm not ****ing stressed!

C) Learn to spell plagiarism before accusing other people. Forgive me if I don't have the same motivation with a Twilight rant on Hibs.net as I would with a dissertation... It would also be slightly hypocritical of me to spend so much time trying to uncover its flaws when I'm pretty adamant that I don't care for the books.

Now I'm going back to my small debilitated corner to moan:cool2:

[Sylar]

Scott - 3 points:

A) I don't hate the series, I don't even hate the author (considering she published yours truly in Teen Ink - she can obviously spot talent). What I hate is the idiotic fans that think 'ZOMG pure amazing, best thing eva!' Ignore them you say? A bit difficult considering they live under the same roof!
Examples: linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=-turfrcQY-w&feature=channel), linky2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6d5YLGgYtM)
More power to Stephenie Meyer, she's manipulated people into thinking she has a modicum of talent, she's stuck to a tight target audience and raped them mentally, in the process making her quite a tidy sum.

The crux of the post wasn't aimed at you - more of a general observation on the extremes of emotion which the books seem to generate. I don't class myself as a "fan" or someone who dislikes them - they're alright (for the audience they're aimed at), but I do wonder quite why they're storming the global reading lists!

B) Stressed? I'm not ****ing stressed!

Evidently - glad you took that in its intended tone! :greengrin

C) Learn to spell plagiarism before accusing other people. Forgive me if I don't have the same motivation with a Twilight rant on Hibs.net as I would with a dissertation... It would also be slightly hypocritical of me to spend so much time trying to uncover its flaws when I'm pretty adamant that I don't care for the books.

Aww piss aff and quit being pedantic :greengrin - I don't need to be able to spell it to smell it :wink: - you could at least have acknowledge that it was someone elses tirade, instead of passing it off as your own personal opinion on the books/films/deeper meanings, yaddah yaddah...

Now I'm going back to my small debilitated corner to moan:cool2:

:thumbsup:

Take it in the tongue-and-cheek tone it's intended :wink:

[Flynn]

Dawson's Creek with vampires :bitchy:

[Billychaotic182]

Dawson's Creek with vampires :bitchy:
hahaha thats what i said lol

[Hibee-Bongo]

I'm with shamo. Go watch 'Let the Right One In' a very well made vamp film.
And btw, apparently theyre making a new Buffy - without any original writers or cast - since its 'hot' to be a vampire.

[lyonhibs]

A few of my female friends are well into it - is it not all about Vampires and werewolves struggling through High School falling in love with normal human beings but then not being able to **** them because they'll kill them during the carnal act??

Without indulging in more in-depth analysis, it sounds like utter excrement.

[Betty Boop]

Twilight's 'plot' in 7 easy steps link (http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs31/f/2008/187/a/4/Why_you_should_read_Twilight_by_Gigglish.png)

Warning - a big rant awaits!

This movie is the epitome of all chick flicks. Vampires who are hundreds of years old... yet are struggling through high school.... really... REALLY? Its like they took every harlequin romance novel, every vampire seductress vignette, and emo tastic fanfiction and condensed it into this 2 hour suckfest.

It was so freaking cliche I think my anus started to bleed from getting reamed so badly.

There was the protagonist, Bella. A pale skinned raven haired girl who was socially awkward. Men wanted to be with her, women wanted to be her. She is the talk of this small town and every one knows her name.

But wait, she is unassuming and sees herself as plane old vanilla. That last bit was a portrayal from the books which I tried to give a chance but failed. She cannot see her "Beauty" and spends half her time gasping for breath as she is in the presence of her love interest. Edward

It gets worse...

the love interest:

A pale skinned, eternally 17 year old boy with goku like brown hair and snow white skin is her emo tastic ying to his gothfag yang. Some classic Edward lines

" I feel very protective of you..."
" You need to stay away from me..."
" I can't stay away from you..."
" I'm sorry I put you in danger."
" I'm a monster."

His insipid one liners are pretty much straight out of the book and he some how brings them down to a new level of craptastic glory.

Oh and let's not forget. He sparkles in the sunlight.

The supporting cast was ok in that they made the best out of a horribly disgusting series.

Honestly, I actually had to catch myself as I couldn't keep a straight face while watching it in theaters. I snickered and giggled when teens around the theatre were swooning at the "Romance". I was forced to go home and find a cam to rewatch scenes at the insistence of my date because she felt I did not see them for the romantic portrayals of love that they were.

The only reason to see this movie is for a laugh and the girlfriend. And even then... if your like me, you wont be able to keep a straight face the entire time. You'll chuckle at scenes that will no doubt make your date very irate.

Oh and the only good part in the movie, that didn't suck I suppose was when Edwards vampire sister who comes off as a kind of bubbly luna like character at the end jumps on the villains back and starts ripping the guys head off. Though you don't see it, it is shot very well and makes the vampires look like a pack of animals as they dismember their enemy.


Strangely the later books form a plethora of amusing shenanigans - it's absolutely hilarious. Seriously. There's a scene where a baby basically claws its way out of its mother's uterus.

The two leads have a very strange 'romance' to say the least. He basically tells her what to do, demands answers from her when he wants them, is rude to her, and I think in the books he tells her when to eat as well.

Then drags her around by the elbow every now and then.

Let's not forget the stalking. He doesn't hide the fact that he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep, searches for her when she leaves town on a girls night out, or has an inexplicable need to know her every thought.

Now its all fun and games on the Internets, but in real life I'd think he'd get smacked at least. The squealing teen girls lapped it up in the cinema but if a real man talked to them like that he'd be in handcuffs within ten minutes.

Oh, and we can't have a good story without morals of course, so here's the ones Twilight provides:

1. Never EVER have sex before you are married.
2. A woman can never be truly happy if she doesn't have a child
3. Never EVER, not even if you're dead, not even if the baby is a crazy flesh eating monster, should you have an abortion.

Did I mention that the author is a Mormon? What do expect from a woman with a husband and three boys who graduated from Brigham Young?

A practicing Mormon writes a book which glorifies pedophilia, disdains abortion, and opposes pre-marital sex.

Q: Should we be surprised?

A: No.

Even the leading actor, Robert Pattinson, agrees that she's mental

"I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure."

He also describes Twilight fans as: "Terrifying. It's like the sound you hear at the Gates of Hell."

I could go on, but anyway...

Guys have porn, girls have this ****, and just like women wouldn't want a porno flick becoming widespread and mainstream, men don't want this drivel infecting literature.

In short: kill it with righteous fire. Some stereo-typing going on here! :blah: :faf:

[Andy74]

The Missus is heavily into all these books, what's it all about. I watched the movie and thought it was High School Musical meets Twin Peaks. Anyone a fan, and can tell me what the attraction is?

I watched this to see what the fuss was about.

Taken in isolation without the books or worrying too much about the religious messages I thought it was a run of the mill reasonably entertaining film who's big plus point was some decent looking birds.

[Sergio sledge]

Some stereo-typing going on here! :blah: :faf:

Betty Boop likes watching porn? :devil:

[GhostofBolivar]

You should probably read this (http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/)