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Thread: Movie Cliches

  1. #181
    @hibs.net private member Alfiembra's Avatar
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    Apart from there always being a parking place right outside wherever anyone is going to, they always park perfectly first time they never hit or mount a kerb, always drive in front first, never take three attempts reverse parking like us mere mortals.


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  3. #182
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Brushing teeth in the movies is graceful and tidy.

    No-one ever dribbles saliva mixed with Colgate down their top or foams at the mouth like a rabid dog.
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  4. #183
    @hibs.net private member EH6 Hibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    Brushing teeth in the movies is graceful and tidy.

    No-one ever dribbles saliva mixed with Colgate down their top or foams at the mouth like a rabid dog.
    Couples always brush their teeth at the same time.

  5. #184
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    When there's a gunfight and a takes cover behind a water trough, I've never worked out why bullets cause the water to plop like someone's dropped a small stone in it. The bullets invariably are coming horizontally. Maybe they just jump over the lip and drop in the water?

  6. #185
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfiembra View Post
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    Apart from there always being a parking place right outside wherever anyone is going to, they always park perfectly first time they never hit or mount a kerb, always drive in front first, never take three attempts reverse parking like us mere mortals.

    And no one ever locks their car when they park, they all just get out and walk away

  7. #186
    Coaching Staff NAE NOOKIE's Avatar
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    The hero always knows how to ride a motorbike.

    Torches ( flashlights ) are always held above shoulder height for some bizarre reason.

    Scottish or Welsh actors unless they are Sean Connery almost always have to affect an English accent, even though there is no earthy reason in the context of the script that stops them from having a Scottish accent ..... David Tennant in Dr Who springs immediately to mind. I watched 'the last witch hunter' the other day starring Vin Diesel and Rose Leslie ( Game of Thrones ) the lassie is Scottish and there was no reason she couldn't be Scottish in the film, but she had an English accent.

    When the heroine realises her husband / partner is a murderer or planning to bump her off she always tries to sneak out of the house in the dead of night, even though she has been living with said murderer for ages without anything happening ... why not just wait until morning and say you are popping out for fags and a paper?

    Nobody in soap operas ever owns or watches a telly and no matter how skint they are they can always afford to go to the pub every night.

    Nobody in soap operas ever works for British Rail or TESCO ... its always self employment or a small local firm.

    No matter where they are in the continental United States every American automatically knows which directions North, East, West and South are in.

  8. #187
    @hibs.net private member speedy_gonzales's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAE NOOKIE View Post
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    The hero always knows how to ride a motorbike.
    All the more surprising when most action movies are American based and the majority of folk there can't use a "stick-shift" but hand clutch and foot gearshift,,,, no problems!

  9. #188
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAE NOOKIE View Post
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    Loving this thread

    The hero always knows how to ride a motorbike.

    Torches ( flashlights ) are always held above shoulder height for some bizarre reason.

    Scottish or Welsh actors unless they are Sean Connery almost always have to affect an English accent, even though there is no earthy reason in the context of the script that stops them from having a Scottish accent ..... David Tennant in Dr Who springs immediately to mind. I watched 'the last witch hunter' the other day starring Vin Diesel and Rose Leslie ( Game of Thrones ) the lassie is Scottish and there was no reason she couldn't be Scottish in the film, but she had an English accent.

    When the heroine realises her husband / partner is a murderer or planning to bump her off she always tries to sneak out of the house in the dead of night, even though she has been living with said murderer for ages without anything happening ... why not just wait until morning and say you are popping out for fags and a paper?

    Nobody in soap operas ever owns or watches a telly and no matter how skint they are they can always afford to go to the pub every night.

    Nobody in soap operas ever works for British Rail or TESCO ... its always self employment or a small local firm.

    No matter where they are in the continental United States every American automatically knows which directions North, East, West and South are in.

    whereas with Sean Connery, almost every character has a Scottish accent, whether they’re Russian, Spanish or Egyptian 😂


    the last point, I think that’s because in the states, their cities are often built in a grid pattern making it far easier to know which direction is which, plus I think culturally they tend to use these directions far more frequently then we do.

  10. #189
    @hibs.net private member sleeping giant's Avatar
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    It always looks easy to dig a hole and they always use a long handled shovel to do it.
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  11. #190
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Someone spraying bullets from a fully automatic rifle always manages to hit the ground in front of the target, all around the target, in fact anywhere but the target (person)

  12. #191
    @hibs.net private member Mibbes Aye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scouse Hibby View Post
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    Someone spraying bullets from a fully automatic rifle always manages to hit the ground in front of the target, all around the target, in fact anywhere but the target (person)
    Slight tangent here but in the A-Team they managed to fire a ridiculous amount of bullets every episode without actually killing anyone - invariably their gunfire would be enough to make their opponent's car burst a tyre then flip over and land on its roof.
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  13. #192
    @hibs.net private member Godsahibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mibbes Aye View Post
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    Slight tangent here but in the A-Team they managed to fire a ridiculous amount of bullets every episode without actually killing anyone - invariably their gunfire would be enough to make their opponent's car burst a tyre then flip over and land on its roof.
    That is because of when it was broadcast, no one was allowed do die! The said car while chasing them in their van would be riddled with bullets, burst into flames, flip over (after hitting the cunningly disguised ramp behind a bush) land on the roof and the camera would always have to show them climbing out the windows miraculously still alive and shaking their fists at the pesky A-Team for getting away from them once again!!

    Still love it though, old episodes being shown on Spike just now!

  14. #193
    @hibs.net private member Mibbes Aye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Godsahibby View Post
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    That is because of when it was broadcast, no one was allowed do die! The said car while chasing them in their van would be riddled with bullets, burst into flames, flip over (after hitting the cunningly disguised ramp behind a bush) land on the roof and the camera would always have to show them climbing out the windows miraculously still alive and shaking their fists at the pesky A-Team for getting away from them once again!!

    Still love it though, old episodes being shown on Spike just now!
    That captures a particular category of supporting actors - the ones who look like a bad 'un and have mastered the resentful look and fist shake. It's a dying art now, what with CGI and all that.
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  15. #194
    A simple misundertanding that could be explained in 2 sentences almost always takes between 90 and 120 minutes to be resolved.
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  16. #195
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    When the cops break into any lowlife's house they always catch him in bed with a trashy woman.
    He's never watching the telly, reading a paper or changing a lightbulb.

  17. #196
    Coaching Staff NAE NOOKIE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sleeping giant View Post
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    It always looks easy to dig a hole and they always use a long handled shovel to do it.
    It always amazes me that the country who put a man on the moon still haven't realised that putting a wee bit of horizontal wood at the end of a shovel makes it a hell of a lot easier to use.

    Yer bang on about the holes as well ..... I've buried 4 cats in my life and it took bloody ages to dig the holes, yet an American baddie can dig a 3 x 6 four feet deep hole in about 10 minutes

  18. #197
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    The hair of people who step out a convertable is never out of place.

    People never get change when buying a drink at a bar.

    Upper floor hotel rooms are always right next to the lift doors.

    The roof of every gold mine in a Western will cave-in at some point.

    My own favourite from the old days was ... the goodie cowboys wore white hats and the baddies, black ones.

    Also the baddie would normally have a beard shadow.

    Singing cowboys never need to tune their guitars.
    They also conveniently never break strings.
    If they did, I wonder how far away the nearest music shop would be?

  19. #198
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NAE NOOKIE View Post
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    It always amazes me that the country who put a man on the moon still haven't realised that putting a wee bit of horizontal wood at the end of a shovel makes it a hell of a lot easier to use.

    Yer bang on about the holes as well ..... I've buried 4 cats in my life and it took bloody ages to dig the holes, yet an American baddie can dig a 3 x 6 four feet deep hole in about 10 minutes

    And they always manage to dig a hole that’s shaped exactly rectangular, and that shape carries on downwards with right angles joining the walls.

  20. #199
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    No one ever puts fuel in a car.

    No one waits ages for a lift to arrive

  21. #200
    @hibs.net private member Alfiembra's Avatar
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    Lift doors are bullet proof as are car doors.

    Killer robots never seem to be able to negotiate stairs.
    Last edited by Alfiembra; 17-04-2018 at 08:43 PM.

  22. #201
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    According to the movies, everybody is born with perfect teeth.

    Only bad guys wear eye patches.

    Apart from beans and steak, what do cowboys eat?
    Last edited by snooky; 18-04-2018 at 12:07 AM.

  23. #202
    @hibs.net private member Godsahibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McD View Post
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    whereas with Sean Connery, almost every character has a Scottish accent, whether they’re Russian, Spanish or Egyptian 😂


    the last point, I think that’s because in the states, their cities are often built in a grid pattern making it far easier to know which direction is which, plus I think culturally they tend to use these directions far more frequently then we do.
    That peaked in Higlander when you had Sean Connery playing ‘The Spaniard’ with a Scottish Accent and Christopher Lambert playing the Scotsman with that French American twang!!

  24. #203
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McD View Post
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    No one ever puts fuel in a car.
    But if they ever go into a petrol (gas) station, it's either to rob it or buy snacks. If it's the latter, something terrible happens either in the shop or to the folk left behind in the car.
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £2,389.68!



  25. #204
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    Nobody ever gets hit from a bullet ricochet.
    They always duck in time.

  26. #205
    Testimonial Due Geo_1875's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snooky View Post
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    When the cops break into any lowlife's house they always catch him in bed with a trashy woman.
    He's never watching the telly, reading a paper or changing a lightbulb.
    That's because the police always raid at 4 am and it's the same officers who were on dayshift the day before.

  27. #206
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Ugly characters in films are played by actors who in real life are stunning.

  28. #207
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibee's Avatar
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    Lock picking is easy.

  29. #208
    @hibs.net private member McD's Avatar
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    Cops who break the law or bend the rules to get the bad guy are never taken to task for their actions

  30. #209
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    (Especially in old US films) when someone asks for a Scotch their host always pours it from a decanter.

  31. #210
    Coaching Staff heretoday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McD View Post
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    Cops who break the law or bend the rules to get the bad guy are never taken to task for their actions
    Right. Speeding, knocking over fruit market stalls and spilling dozens of oranges, jumping the barrier at stations, the list is endless.

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