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  1. #121
    @hibs.net private member Hibs Class's Avatar
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    Been reading through this thread again - one of the best I've ever seen on here and well worth a bump. Quite humbling and inspiring to read some folks' stories - makes me feel lucky that I've never really been in these places and gives me just a little understanding of how bad people can feel. One recurring theme seems to be that even when it looks like there is no hope, that there always is, and you should never give up.
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  3. #122
    Coaching Staff Pete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibs Class View Post
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    Been reading through this thread again - one of the best I've ever seen on here and well worth a bump. Quite humbling and inspiring to read some folks' stories - makes me feel lucky that I've never really been in these places and gives me just a little understanding of how bad people can feel. One recurring theme seems to be that even when it looks like there is no hope, that there always is, and you should never give up.


    All you can do is hope that those effected by depression understand this before they let things get out of hand.

  4. #123
    I thought this thread deserved a bump. Ive been going through a hard time recently following a difficult break up. Having had a few mild episodes of depression before, I have made an appointment to see a dr on Monday.

  5. #124
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdependable View Post
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    I thought this thread deserved a bump. Ive been going through a hard time recently following a difficult break up. Having had a few mild episodes of depression before, I have made an appointment to see a dr on Monday.
    Sorry to hear that.

    We are here, of course, if you want to vent, or PM. You know, though, that you have already made 2 small but significant steps. The first was to make the appointment. The second was to come on here and talk about it.

  6. #125
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    Hi. Does anyone else suffer from anxiety? I'm on citalopram 30 mg after having been on paroxetine for about 10 years. My anxiety comes in episodes and can last about 3 months but this time it's been about 6 months and there's days and nights when I feel so bad I just want to run out the house. I have a constant fear of dying, with any niggles or pains suddenly becoming (in my mind) life ending illnesses. It gets so bad that I panic and have the physical effects of a panic attack which in turn adds to the anxiety like having a heart attack or something wrong with my breathing. Dr has referred me for CBT but as yet I've not heard anything. I just need someone to tell me I'm not going to die ( well not yet anyway) I'm only 41.

  7. #126
    Left by mutual consent! Phil D. Rolls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweep View Post
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    Hi. Does anyone else suffer from anxiety? I'm on citalopram 30 mg after having been on paroxetine for about 10 years. My anxiety comes in episodes and can last about 3 months but this time it's been about 6 months and there's days and nights when I feel so bad I just want to run out the house. I have a constant fear of dying, with any niggles or pains suddenly becoming (in my mind) life ending illnesses. It gets so bad that I panic and have the physical effects of a panic attack which in turn adds to the anxiety like having a heart attack or something wrong with my breathing. Dr has referred me for CBT but as yet I've not heard anything. I just need someone to tell me I'm not going to die ( well not yet anyway) I'm only 41.
    Mate, you learned how to worry, and you can unlearn that with CBT. Hang in there.

  8. #127
    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Sorry to hear that.

    We are here, of course, if you want to vent, or PM. You know, though, that you have already made 2 small but significant steps. The first was to make the appointment. The second was to come on here and talk about it.
    thanks CWG. I am already feeling a little better for having made these steps. Ive been on antidepressants before but this is probably the lowest ive been. Id recommend anyone with feelings of depression, anxiety to go and see their GP

  9. #128
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdependable View Post
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    thanks CWG. I am already feeling a little better for having made these steps. Ive been on antidepressants before but this is probably the lowest ive been. Id recommend anyone with feelings of depression, anxiety to go and see their GP

  10. #129
    Quote Originally Posted by Sweep View Post
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    Hi. Does anyone else suffer from anxiety? I'm on citalopram 30 mg after having been on paroxetine for about 10 years. My anxiety comes in episodes and can last about 3 months but this time it's been about 6 months and there's days and nights when I feel so bad I just want to run out the house. I have a constant fear of dying, with any niggles or pains suddenly becoming (in my mind) life ending illnesses. It gets so bad that I panic and have the physical effects of a panic attack which in turn adds to the anxiety like having a heart attack or something wrong with my breathing. Dr has referred me for CBT but as yet I've not heard anything. I just need someone to tell me I'm not going to die ( well not yet anyway) I'm only 41.
    The first anti-depressant I was put on was citalopram and it made me a lot worse. I ended up trying to top myself on it so I've been on 6 or 7 different tablets since. I'm now on Sertraline 150mg and diazepam as and when. If you ever want to talk about it please send me a PM. I've been through the mill and am currently at the start of what I predict will be another bad turn.

    Folks on this forum have been extremely supportive.

  11. #130
    First Team Regular Lester B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stranraerhibby View Post
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    The first anti-depressant I was put on was citalopram and it made me a lot worse. I ended up trying to top myself on it so I've been on 6 or 7 different tablets since. I'm now on Sertraline 150mg and diazepam as and when. If you ever want to talk about it please send me a PM. I've been through the mill and am currently at the start of what I predict will be another bad turn.

    Folks on this forum have been extremely supportive.
    SSRI drugs, of which citalopram is one, can be effective but they can vary from person to person so finding the right one can be hard and the wrong one can make things worse short term. Thing about any drug therapies is that they don't fix things totally. It's not like taking something for physical pain and as others have said here things like exercise and watching what you eat need to be utilised too. Some parts of the country are better than others for NHS support so you can't rely on that. There are good things on the web about this and bad things. Search for the good stuff and realise that there are even phone lines you can try if your local GP/services are not working.

    Good luck in fighting it sir!

  12. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweep View Post
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    Hi. Does anyone else suffer from anxiety? I'm on citalopram 30 mg after having been on paroxetine for about 10 years. My anxiety comes in episodes and can last about 3 months but this time it's been about 6 months and there's days and nights when I feel so bad I just want to run out the house. I have a constant fear of dying, with any niggles or pains suddenly becoming (in my mind) life ending illnesses. It gets so bad that I panic and have the physical effects of a panic attack which in turn adds to the anxiety like having a heart attack or something wrong with my breathing. Dr has referred me for CBT but as yet I've not heard anything. I just need someone to tell me I'm not going to die ( well not yet anyway) I'm only 41.
    Maybe the good thing about this thread is it might show how many people have endured similar. You're not alone and you're not on your own.

    For a long period of time anxiety and depression totally paralysed my day to day life. All sorts of thing, including a time when I couldn't leave the house without ironing my clothes. I also became convinced that any time I drove, I'd knocked someone over and not realised. Things came to a head one day when I spend a full afternoon driving in circles, going back to check then becoming convinced it had happened again. I also had the headache = brain tumour, feeling under the weather = a mortal illness. It's exhausting and drains your life.

    CBT was the way out but I had to persist with the doctor. First one I saw was useless. Second one I saw was tremendous.

    Still get extremely anxious at times but the OCD has never been an issue again.

    The drugs are a crutch, I'd say, until you can fly solo and deal with things yourself. IMHO I wished I'd got off them a lot sooner than I did.

    Be brave - CBT is useful and can get you out of it. In the meantime, you can find info online about the kind of things and techniques CBT involves: mood diaries, rationalising your thoughts etc etc.
    Last edited by steakbake; 29-07-2013 at 04:35 PM.

  13. #132
    Left by mutual consent! Phil D. Rolls's Avatar
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    If you get a chance to see the programme about Frank Brunos daughter, it's well worth it. It both gives an explanation of the true misery of Bi Polar, and explains how recovery is possible.

    With most illnesses, every time it recurs, you are more clued up about how to get back to where you want to be.

  14. #133
    Quote Originally Posted by Lester B View Post
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    SSRI drugs, of which citalopram is one, can be effective but they can vary from person to person so finding the right one can be hard and the wrong one can make things worse short term. Thing about any drug therapies is that they don't fix things totally. It's not like taking something for physical pain and as others have said here things like exercise and watching what you eat need to be utilised too. Some parts of the country are better than others for NHS support so you can't rely on that. There are good things on the web about this and bad things. Search for the good stuff and realise that there are even phone lines you can try if your local GP/services are not working.

    Good luck in fighting it sir!
    Thanks mate I appreciate it.

  15. #134
    I've got a friend (seriously I do, its not me) who had a bit of break down infront of me and told me that they were depressed and a bit ashamed about it. I told them not to be of course, nothing to be ashamed about and that I was there for them and so was another friend they'd told. They didnt want anyone else knowing and has only told 2 of us.

    They been to the docs and is on medication but i'm not sure how much this is helping.

    I was just trying to give some reassuring chat but wasnt too sure what to say.

    I remember reading this thread a while back and thought i'd look here for some advice in how I can help my friend. Its kind of different in that its not affecting me directly but this person has confided in me so i'd like to help.

  16. #135
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sambajustice View Post
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    I've got a friend (seriously I do, its not me) who had a bit of break down infront of me and told me that they were depressed and a bit ashamed about it. I told them not to be of course, nothing to be ashamed about and that I was there for them and so was another friend they'd told. They didnt want anyone else knowing and has only told 2 of us.

    They been to the docs and is on medication but i'm not sure how much this is helping.

    I was just trying to give some reassuring chat but wasnt too sure what to say.

    I remember reading this thread a while back and thought i'd look here for some advice in how I can help my friend. Its kind of different in that its not affecting me directly but this person has confided in me so i'd like to help.
    Let them have a wee read of this thread, there's been a few folk that have been there and done that who have indicated they would be more than happy to assist folk in any way they can, you never know, a wee PM or two could well work wonders.

  17. #136
    Quote Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY View Post
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    Let them have a wee read of this thread, there's been a few folk that have been there and done that who have indicated they would be more than happy to assist folk in any way they can, you never know, a wee PM or two could well work wonders.
    id be more than happy to assist anyone that PMs me, as im sure would others on this thread. Speaking personally, in answer to the poster with a friend who is depressed, id say just be there for them and keep in touch. When depressed it is natural to cut yourself off and not seek out company, but company is often what you need.

  18. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by steakbake View Post
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    Maybe the good thing about this thread is it might show how many people have endured similar. You're not alone and you're not on your own.

    For a long period of time anxiety and depression totally paralysed my day to day life. All sorts of thing, including a time when I couldn't leave the house without ironing my clothes. I also became convinced that any time I drove, I'd knocked someone over and not realised. Things came to a head one day when I spend a full afternoon driving in circles, going back to check then becoming convinced it had happened again. I also had the headache = brain tumour, feeling under the weather = a mortal illness. It's exhausting and drains your life.

    CBT was the way out but I had to persist with the doctor. First one I saw was useless. Second one I saw was tremendous.

    Still get extremely anxious at times but the OCD has never been an issue again.

    The drugs are a crutch, I'd say, until you can fly solo and deal with things yourself. IMHO I wished I'd got off them a lot sooner than I did.

    Be brave - CBT is useful and can get you out of it. In the meantime, you can find info online about the kind of things and techniques CBT involves: mood diaries, rationalising your thoughts etc etc.

    Thanks for your post. I have just received my appointment for CBT so looking forward to that. I'm also starting to feel better with the citalopram kicking in although that has been around 3 months to really take effect.

  19. #138
    Just giving this thread a bump, as I think it's an extremely valuable for one for those of us who suffer from depression etc. Ive settled down after being prescribed fluoxetine. Hope everyone out there is well

  20. #139
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdependable View Post
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    Just giving this thread a bump, as I think it's an extremely valuable for one for those of us who suffer from depression etc. Ive settled down after being prescribed fluoxetine. Hope everyone out there is well
    It's worth bumping it, that's for sure. This is the time of the year when the light is disappearing and the blues take hold.

    Good to hear you're settling down. Take care of yourself.

  21. #140
    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    It's worth bumping it, that's for sure. This is the time of the year when the light is disappearing and the blues take hold.

    Good to hear you're settling down. Take care of yourself.
    thanks CWG

  22. #141
    4 weeks and 2 days until i am 2 years 'drug free'.

    Been pretty good on the whole. Had a funny spell about 5 months back with my health anxiety. Had a bit of a flu like illness and a few lymph nodes in my neck and under the jaw popped up so of course i had lymphoma! Was actually quite good in a way as i was able to get the silly thought processes under control quite quickly.

    Hope everyone else is well.
    PM Awards General Poster of The Year 2015, 2016, 2017. Probably robbed in other years

  23. #142
    @hibs.net private member Sylar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Been a few threads on here about both and It's always good to talk.

    I suffered from pretty severe depression for about 18 months to 2 years and had some very dark thoughts. There was a lot of horrible stuff going on in my life at the time. Eventually I found a brilliant doctor who referred me for cognitive behavioural therapy as anti depressants absolutely terrified me and worked me up into some awful states.

    On top of that I have also had bother with health anxiety. Not the usual man flu type thing but genuine unfounded fears about my health. The strange thing about health anxiety is it causes genuine physical symptoms such as nausea, pins and needles, aches and pains, stomach upset etc. I was a habitual googler of symptoms and at various times was absolutely convinced I had MS, lupus, cancer, pneumonia, lymphoma, malaria and lyme disease amongst others. Sounds ridiculous but the fears are genuine. I had all kinds of blood tests and everything was negative but that only reassured for a short time before something else cropped up. Whenever I did have anything actually wrong with me I was terrified of taking medication because I was sure I would get side effects so it was a vicious cycle. Thankfully I'm slowly but surely getting over this as well.

    You'll find there are a few people on this board only too happy to share their experiences which will hopefully help you. For all the silly arguments and whatever there are a hell of a lot of very good people post on here.
    Sorry to quote such an old post PB but I was reading back over this thread and one of your points really struck true to me (bold).

    I lost a very close friend of mine incredibly young - she contracted a rare type of cancer which started with incredibly small, unrecognisable symptoms and her passing seemed to spark my own HA and I'd Google my symptoms for the smallest things and come up with some horrifying conclusions before common sense (and my wife!) would prevail and slap me about the head. As ridiculous as I knew it was, I'd convince myself of all sorts.

    I've managed to stop doing it but tonight I was trying to look up a diagram of the nerves in the hand, as I've had a twitch in my index finger and I recalled the Facebook page, I ****ing Love Science, posting a pretty neat graphic of the internal hand and I was curious to see how nerve concentration looked. Type 'nerve fingers twitch' into Google and you're greeted with early symptoms of Parkinsons, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (or Lou Gehrig's Disease), MS...the internet can be a scary place, particularly if you do suffer from anxiety and can't control the runaway thoughts and concerns!
    Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity. All it takes is a little push.

  24. #143
    Coaching Staff hibsbollah's Avatar
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    www.moodgym.anu.edu.au

    This is a recomended site, CBT course you can access from your smartphone. Particularly useful if you're on a long NHS waiting list for 'real' CBT.

  25. #144
    I'm feeling very low at the moment. That being said I always find this thread a real lifeline - to know that others have gone through periods in their life feeling as if life isn't worth living.

    2013 has been a write off for me and I owe a lot of people apologies (some on Hibs.net).

    I've got no life here in Stranraer, I just wish I could turn back the clock and do things differently in Aberdeen and not have let my family down.

    Anyway, this thread and the people of this forum in general have been a huge help, I owe many people on here a huge thanks.

  26. #145
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StranraerHibee View Post
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    I'm feeling very low at the moment. That being said I always find this thread a real lifeline - to know that others have gone through periods in their life feeling as if life isn't worth living.

    2013 has been a write off for me and I owe a lot of people apologies (some on Hibs.net).

    I've got no life here in Stranraer, I just wish I could turn back the clock and do things differently in Aberdeen and not have let my family down.

    Anyway, this thread and the people of this forum in general have been a huge help, I owe many people on here a huge thanks.
    If it's any consolation, this time of year is the worst for me. The days are at their shortest. The solstice is just a couple of weeks away though.

    Ever thought of a light box? I have one on in the office constantly just now.

    And meditation? I swear by it. It's not a cure, but it helps to unravel the nasty thoughts and helps me to find some balance.

  27. #146
    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    If it's any consolation, this time of year is the worst for me. The days are at their shortest. The solstice is just a couple of weeks away though.

    Ever thought of a light box? I have one on in the office constantly just now.

    And meditation? I swear by it. It's not a cure, but it helps to unravel the nasty thoughts and helps me to find some balance.
    Thanks for the advice mate, never thought of meditation. Turned to the drink last night, just wanted to forget all my problems - definitely the last time I'm drinking on 150mg of anti-depressants!

  28. #147
    Coaching Staff Pete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StranraerHibee View Post
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    I'm feeling very low at the moment. That being said I always find this thread a real lifeline - to know that others have gone through periods in their life feeling as if life isn't worth living.

    2013 has been a write off for me and I owe a lot of people apologies (some on Hibs.net).

    I've got no life here in Stranraer, I just wish I could turn back the clock and do things differently in Aberdeen and not have let my family down.

    Anyway, this thread and the people of this forum in general have been a huge help, I owe many people on here a huge thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by StranraerHibee View Post
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    Thanks for the advice mate, never thought of meditation. Turned to the drink last night, just wanted to forget all my problems - definitely the last time I'm drinking on 150mg of anti-depressants!
    Drink does make you forget but all it does in the long term is lubricate the slide. Anti-depressants or not I'm not sure you should be drinking at all if you are using it as some sort of self medication.

    I wouldn't go beating yourself up about certain things you have done either. If you mix depression with drink or drugs, or heaven forbid all three, then it can be an extremely bad combination. People are going to get hurt. That could mean others or yourself both mentally or physically. At the very least you will probably come across as a total arse and when you look back you will be thankful that's all that happened. You say you're writing off a period of your life but I wouldn't...try and use it as an experience that you can learn from. Thinking about it, did you not start to open up on here in 2013?

    As CWG suggests, maybe you should try a light box. They are surprisingly common and if they help in any way then surely it's worth it.
    Last edited by Pete; 08-12-2013 at 05:24 AM.

  29. #148
    Quote Originally Posted by peter douglas View Post
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    Drink does make you forget but all it does in the long term is lubricate the slide. Anti-depressants or not I'm not sure you should be drinking at all if you are using it as some sort of self medication.

    I wouldn't go beating yourself up about certain things you have done either. If you mix depression with drink or drugs, or heaven forbid all three, then it can be an extremely bad combination. People are going to get hurt. That could mean others or yourself both mentally or physically. At the very least you will probably come across as a total arse and when you look back you will be thankful that's all that happened. You say you're writing off a period of your life but I wouldn't...try and use it as an experience that you can learn from. Thinking about it, did you not start to open up on here in 2013?

    As CWG suggests, maybe you should try a light box. They are surprisingly common and if they help in any way then surely it's worth it.
    Thanks for the reply mate. I managed to apologise to the guy in town I insulted and he was dead understanding and forgiving. I appreciate all the advice - there has been an amazing response on here - it's sometimes hard to open up as a 21 year old man but I think it's been worth it with all the advice I've had.

  30. #149
    Left by mutual consent! Phil D. Rolls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StranraerHibee View Post
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    Thanks for the reply mate. I managed to apologise to the guy in town I insulted and he was dead understanding and forgiving. I appreciate all the advice - there has been an amazing response on here - it's sometimes hard to open up as a 21 year old man but I think it's been worth it with all the advice I've had.
    Well done for apologising, must have taken a bit of bottle.

  31. #150
    Quote Originally Posted by Filled Rolls View Post
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    Well done for apologising, must have taken a bit of bottle.
    It did, I've got a couple of Motherwell based Hearts fans to say sorry to then I think I'm all caught up. Not drinking again.

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