The Yamasaurus 1st Edition

[jacomo]

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Yammer: involuntary hesitation in speech that afflicts the yam when he finds out what Vlad has just done

Yam mail: unsolicited propaganda expousing fantastical notions of yam superiority. Generally foisted on the general public for annoyance value only, although west of Edinburgh residents are particularly gullible and are frequently duped

[jacomo]

shYambolic -

Activity or process that Yam believers can rationalise and make sense of, but to everyone else appears utterly disorganised, insane and without reason.

exp: size and wage policy of current Hearts squad

[The Keeper]

Yamin, Idi African dictator who ruled by brutality and fear, employing people he crushed and destroying all those who challenged him. Self styled King of Scotland. Sold his country to Cala for housing development and ran away.



thanks jacomoseven

[borders.cabbage]

Yample (plenty) We have yample Lithuanians in our squad.

Yamnesia ( to forget, to revise ) A case of selective memory.Example :I never said the Intertoto was pointless ! Yes you did, you must have yamnesia.

[Ryan91]

Yambeau Field

The new name for the proposed new Hearts stadium. Very similar to Lambeau Field (home to the NFL's Green Bay Packers) except Lambeau field was built and was not a crazy idea by some mad lithuanian banker.

[lyonhibs]

Hibbee 0672, I can't see anyone having any problems with that (as long as my finer efforts get included - could be my launchpad to stardom ) I'm sending the link to this post to tons of friends (not all Jambos ) and they are all finding it ****ing hilarious!!!

Yamustbekiddin - utilised in many situationS these days by the unfortunate inhabitants of Tincastle, most recently when the 4th Dundee (bottom 6) United goal zipped past their lesbian goalkeeper, or when King YamVlad's decision to raise the debt to 40 million (see yamoney) was passed - without question - by the hearts board of Directors, a board that conveniently comprises KingYamVlad's son, niece and close family friend.

Yam****ed - the defining phrase uttered after a slow process of acceptance by a tiny percentage of Vladsheep, that about 5% of Vlad promises have actually been carried out (see Top class manager, new stadium, Champions League football, core of scottish players etc etc etc),that maybe "that fat *******" Chris Robinson wasn't so bad after all and that, in general, their entire club is run like a banana republic from top to bottom, except there are no peacekeepers on the horizon. See also Yamvisionism, Yambition and Scottish Cup 2006.

Yam sorry darling - said by grovelling Yam husbands who find their balls in a vice with the Yamissus in control, after credit card statements reveal yet more useless expenditure on increasingly tasteless official Yam tat. See also Yam season ticket, "Best pub team in Edinburgh" T-shirt and that fat twat with the Romanov tattoo on his back.

[EuanH78]

yamadan a quasi religious festival inspired by the islamic ramadan where the believers go without football for a whole year, instead opting for hoofball.ongoing since 1874.

[matty_f]

The Yamazon. Sh!!t creek that runs through Gorgie.

Yamonella - What happens to poultry products when it comes into contact with Yams.

Yamfection - when someone momentarily catches Yam - symptoms include arrogance, obnoxiousness, lack of grace, dignity and a complete disregard for the finer things in life. Most common cure for Yamfections is to watch virtually any other football team in existence.

Miss Yam 2007 - Title held by the prettiest of Yam ladies. Has been won on 17 consecutive occassions by Stevie Fulton.

[GreenandGlaikit]

Think the recently discovered cultural discipline Yamthropology surely deserves further sub-entries eg:-

Yamushanka: "A form of street football where morbidly obese participants violently kick innocent furry Russian hats. The motivation and objective of this seemingly pointless exercise remains unclear."

Yamopagger: "An annually televised homo-erotic ritual ,where maroon-clad 'Fairy-Fighters' effetely strut in mock-attack positions loudly indicating they will 'scratch each others eyes oot' .This short ceremony is normally ended by a Police Shaman figure threatening to confiscate their hand-bags "

Yamtwirlie: " A mass ritual in which blood-coloured objects are twirled by vigorous wrist movements. It is thought this might be a vain attempt by Gorgie primitives to achieve man-powered flight to be closer to the celestial Sun-God, Leith.

The entranced - and possibly drugged - Yamtwirlees seem totally oblivious to the ribald derision their actions produce in observers from other tribes."

[Mon1875]

Yambacktrack From Jan 2006 our very own Dexter said "http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/...867786,00.html

Oh boy....sounds like in VI speak, the deals are almost done.

World Cup EUROPEAN players........"

and God Bless him Beslija The Bullet said

""They are coming on Monday but it is not yet 100%"

No way would he mention this unless it was virtually certain they are coming!

Happy days indeed!"

to the inevitable

"no one ever said we would sign World Cup players"

[The Keeper]

Yam Pastie Found daily in Greggs. Obese, pale skinned youth in search of cholestorol.

[Speedway]

Yamammama (Publicity Stunt, Transparent)

The name given to the single most mis-concieved publicity stunt of all time. In order to win public support and correctly sensing that envious eyes were being cast by the gorgie minnions eastward towards the flair on offer in Leith, Roman Romanov decided to take action.

Hoping that with such a huge squad and revolving door, no-one would remember Eduard Jankauskas, the player was sent to 'Heartburn' the well known Gorgie tanning salon for a week's intensive course and was then made to dye his hair jet black.

Roman then called a hastily arranged press conference to announce that HOMOFC would not be outdone by their mecca facing rivals across town and that Hearts had signed their own symbol of exciting attacking football, Merouane Yammamma.

Howls of derision came from the floor as in walked the clearly uncomfortable Jankauskas disguised about as convincingly as Barnie Gumble was when he went on stage at Kamp Krusty and pretended to indeed be, Krusty the Clown.

Uproar broke out among the hearts supporters at this sham as Roman beat a hasty retreat. A fight broke out between two hearts fans with over 0.0071% of the punches thrown actually connecting with the intended recipient.

It was agreed that never again would any attempt by made to associate the name of HOMOfc with excitement, flair or panache.


YamYam (misheard, double-take)

Phrase taught to children born and braised in Gorgie to replace the more recognised yumyum when enjoying food. See also: A Hibbie with double vision directing abuse towards the old Dunbar end.

Yamedievel (Progress, Advanced)

The level of intelligence, wisdom or education at which a Yam uses to reason and behave with.

[The Keeper]

Yam On The Bone Romanov phoning World Cup players to bring them to Gorgie. Oh yes.

Boiled Yam Unfortunate facial colouring of John "eh eh but eh" Colquhoun.

Roast Yam What happens to lying Yams when they decease and descend to Hell.

[lyonhibs]

Yamammama (Publicity Stunt, Transparent)

The name given to the single most mis-concieved publicity stunt of all time. In order to win public support and correctly sensing that envious eyes were being cast by the gorgie minnions eastward towards the flair on offer in Leith, Roman Romanov decided to take action.

Hoping that with such a huge squad and revolving door, no-one would remember Eduard Jankauskas, the player was sent to 'Heartburn' the well known Gorgie tanning salon for a week's intensive course and was then made to dye his hair jet black.

Roman then called a hastily arranged press conference to announce that HOMOFC would not be outdone by their mecca facing rivals across town and that Hearts had signed their own symbol of exciting attacking football, Merouane Yammamma.

Howls of derision came from the floor as in walked the clearly uncomfortable Jankauskas disguised about as convincingly as Barnie Gumble was when he went on stage at Kamp Krusty and pretended to indeed be, Krusty the Clown.

Uproar broke out among the hearts supporters at this sham as Roman beat a hasty retreat. A fight broke out between two hearts fans with over 0.0071% of the punches thrown actually connecting with the intended recipient.

It was agreed that never again would any attempt by made to associate the name of HOMOfc with excitement, flair or panache.


I wish you'd stop posting this calibre of stuff Speedway - it's most distracting!!!!

Yamputer - device - loosely based on a computer - used to forecast season ticket sales, fan base, debt projections and legitimate timescales for paying back bills. Using the latest Lithuanian software, the Yamputer guarentees to bamboozle thick skulled yams into parting with gross sums of cash, wandering around workplaces bragging about ficticious future events and generally making grade A tits of themselves. Also keeps the invoices departement of Edinburgh City Council (and especially their red ink suppliers) busy be refusing to pay (or even accept the existence of) various legitimate bills until the last possible second, by which time, everyone else in Scottish Football has already concluded that you'll be out of business by 2010.

[Speedway]

Brian Yamilton (Good Engine, Invisible)

Officially recognised by FIFA as the worst footballer of all time.

Yamilton Academicals (losers, defunct)

Name already chosen for the 'phoenix' team that will rise from the Cala Homes rubble. So called because their Yams and their existence is academic.

Yam and Cheese Sandwich (Soap Retrieval, Elton John)

Nickname given to game played by ex-hearts midfielder in the Tynie showers. Exact details are not fit to print.

[The Keeper]

Yam and Eggs Another Tynie shower game, unspeakable warped variation of Yam and Cheese Sandwich. Again, exact details not fit to print but the words "hard boiled" and "spread" do feature.

[chorley_fm]

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Yampon (Without Wings)

Nickname given to traditional matchday strategy of going straight up the middle, never wide.

Thats got to be the funniest thing I've every read on this message board......

[ancienthibby]

Even more Yamisms!

Yambolic: The selection policy employed by intermittent Yam managers (see Yet Another Manager) with respect to the range of any eleven 'hoofball hackers' who could be dressed in maroon on any weekend at Yamland or other travel destinations for the residents of the PBS.

Yamconomics: The post-modern theory of old economics developed by L Ron Yamranov which is reputedly first choice for this year's Yambel Prize. Readers should understand that Yamconomics is a further sub-category of the already widely acclaimed Yamjiggery theory of financial management devised by a certain L Ron Yamranov.

Yamkios Bankios: The world's most mystical and even mystifying banking organisation whose latest marketing catchphrase is - 'who said that was a loan' This banks takes on all loans without exception and MAKES THEM DISAPPEAR. It has developed a speciality in loans made by other banks to football clubs in the UK and is now overwhelmed by worldwide applications.

Perhaps more Yamisms later!

[Toaods]

Yamabolic Steroid :

a tablet given to Ukio Bankas staff (soccer division) to enhance their industry on the field of play

[Toaods]

Yamnesty:

a meeting between the HMFC club officials and the 3 most valuable non-Lithuanian members of staff.

[Toaods]

Yambidextrous:

the ability for the right hand not to know what the left hand is doing

[sauzeesteeth]

Kick out the Yams, Brothers and Sisters - MC5 track featured strongly on David Taylor's playlists

[Toaods]

YAMbition:

to proclaim one's club as contenders for the Champion's league title within 2 years.

[Toaods]

A YAMbush:

a triumvirate of central defenders eager to bodycheck Rob Jones when defending any free kicks.

[Toaods]

A wooly YAMmoth:

A large, scary creature. Very hairy and become more extinct in the Gorgie region.

[ancienthibby]

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A YAMbush:

a triumvirate of central defenders eager to bodycheck Rob Jones when defending any free kicks.

Some right classics there, Toaods!!
Genius rules!!

[Toaods]

A YAMstring:

a strain known to keep many a first team player out of sight for endless months.

[Toaods]

The Pied Piper of YAMlin:

A mysterious character who arrived unannounced, demanded everyone's money and when his claims were rejected, left town taking all the foolish believers with him.

[ancienthibby]

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The Pied Piper of YAMlin:

A mysterious character who arrived unannounced, demanded everyone's money and when his claims were rejected, left town taking all the foolish believers with him.

YOU're cookin' tonight!

[Toaods]

YAMoeba :

a single cell(brain) organism that constantly changes shape, usually found drifting aimlessly in the Baltic Sea