The Yamasaurus 1st Edition

[The Keeper]

Yammish, The

A people featured in the film "Witness". Oddly dressed, living in the past,
and given to strange rituals like scarf twirling and the singing of homophobic songs.

[Sprouleflyer]

Yambarium

A substance to help remove the head of a Hearts supporter which has been stuck in a place where the sun don't shine

[Wakeyhibee]

YAMIFY to make oneself imune to the truth and see everything through rose tinted glasses. Gross misjustification of lies and half truths.....'to Yamify the truth'

'Yamblers' Geek walking group for Jambo's. Also used for homeless and/or aimless Jambo's

Yambletons Villiage idiots

[JCM]

Yamiversity Were all potential Yams go to learn about economics and management. On a wednesday afternoon they learn to play hoofball. Entry requirements are the complete opposite of all other universities. ie only the most stupid and gullible will get in. At present the waiting list to get in is oversubscribed, however I do believe that a new 26000 and possibily 40000 yamiversity will be built in the near future.

[lyonhibs]

Yamanalysis - the art of selectivly choosing official facts and figures - such as amount of time ball spent above 3,000 feet - to justify your team's brand of football. Ignoring more classical statistics, such as possesion, fouls conceded and shots on targets is integral to yamalysis, as these reveal the truth that Yamanalysis avoids - that you play a bone-grinding brand of hoofball and are the bitches of a morally devoid Lithuanina Submarine Commander. Yamanalysis has a wide range of uses, and for this it should be applauded - particularly Yamnomics and continous " Sell outs" at Tincastle

[hibbymac]

Yamburyheid - one who incessantly believes, whilst hiding their cranium in the sand. e.g. -

[borders.cabbage]

Yamineurope (farce, emptied)
Phrase used to describe a very short and unhappy trip to the continent.
Can sometimes involve earrings and crossbars.
( see also Yampions league )

[The Keeper]

Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

[jacomo]

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Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

sublime!

[Cincinnatus]

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Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

it's a stoatir

[Ryan91]

Not sure if this has already been posted;

Yamish - A term used to describe something that has been done by a yam that seems slightly inappropriate. Closely linked to the word Childish.

[MyJo]

Yamma dabba doo catchphrase made popular by the famous caveman character Steven Pressley.

[jgl07]

Wee Team: Team who wins Wee Cups (see below) and competes in the Intertoto (a) (Interdiddy Cup) (see below).

Big Team: Team who wins Big Cups (see below) and competes in the Intertoto Cup (b) (see below).

Wee Cup: Any trophy won by Wee Team (see above). This is regardless of the opposition even if it proved to be a six-goal football feast between two SPL top-six sides that was still in doubt until five minutes from time. (Note 1)

Big Cup: Any trophy won by Big Team (see above) even if it was won on penalties after a scappy 1-1 draw against a Second Division team fresh out of the Unibond League. (Note 2)

Intertoto Cup (a): Competition entered by Wee Team to provide a back door rout in the UEFA Cup (see below). Also known as Interdiddy Cup.

Intertoto Cup (b): Competition entered by Big Team to ensure there passage to the UEFA Cup Final.

Interdiddy Cup: See Intertoto Cup (a).

UEFA Cup (a): Competition entered by Big Team after they fail to Qualify for Champions' League (see below).

UEFA Cup (b): Competition entered by Wee Team from time to time.

Champions' League: Competition that Big Team have entered once but that they will win within the next three years.

Forth Bridge (a): Preferred suicide point for supporters of Big Team when the chickens come home to roost.

Forth Bridge (b): Bridge that the supporters of the Big Team will cross for their 'home' matches when they groundshare with Dunfermline, Raith Rovers, East Fife and Cowdenbeath in the future.


Notes:

1. In the (unlikely) event of the Wee Cup being won by the Big Team, it will temporarily become a Big Cup.

2. In the event that the Wee Team wins the Big Cup, then half the supporters of the Big Team will thrown themselves off the Forth Bridge (see above).

[ancienthibby]

More Yamisms!

Yamtastic: The infrequent thought process of your standard Yam. Nothing can ever be ordinary in Yamland. Everything is measured is excess and fantasy.

Yampot: The standard Yam accessory - what a Yam would never be seen without! Where humans used to wear a watch or now a mobile phone as an accessory, in Yamland this is now a Yampot as Yams never receive toilet training as youngsters!.

Y.A.M. This stands for Yet Another Manager which is generally speaking an event which happens most months in Yamland.

Winged Yam: This is the airborne version of the ordinary Yam and is generally seen floating above the PBS with a 'hoofball' attached to it!

Yam: Just for the record (true!) in Latvia and Finland, Yams are known as Jamss!!

[lyonhibs]

Yamport - a passport that has fallen - by fair or by foul - into the grubby hands of a yam. Usually bears a striking ressembelence to a Lithuanian seaman's papers. The production of these went into overdrive, in anticipation of the decades of continous European success that King YamVlad promised them, but - after getting humped 7 ways from Sunday by all half decent teams they played - are now more commonly used as burning fuel to ensure that the Lithuanian "player - harvesting" facilities (see: World Cup signings) can continue to operate at full capacity, and fulfill King YamVlad's stated aim to fully import MidYamthania onto the Gorgie playing field.

[hibbymac]

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....
Yampot: The standard Yam accessory - what a Yam would never be seen without! Where humans used to wear a watch or now a mobile phone as an accessory, in Yamland this is now a Yampot as Yams never receive toilet training as youngsters!.

......

this would also strengthen their arguement when people come out with statements like..." the Yams havnae got a pot to p!ss in"....... aye, it makes sense now.

[lyonhibs]

Official Confirmation and affirmation of the need for a more conclusive Yamasauras
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/yammering

[Hibbie0762]

Yam'ble, v: to recover the ball at a very leisurely pace with the aim of wasting playing time.

Yam'jaxed, adj: the state of having inexplicably fallen over in the goalmouth after minimal contact with the aim of having an opponent sent off. Also to yam'jax, v: to make minimal contact with a much larger opponent who then inexplicably collapses as if seriously assaulted.

[matty_f]

Yamlogic - to rationalise every day events by making them conform to Yammish beliefs. Eg. Attacking player held in the box by fouling defender - no foul, as the attacker probably does it in his box anyway.

Other examples include changing opinions on anything at a moment's notice. This can include topics such as - how things are going, how good the owner is, whether the spiritual home has been outgrown, whether to kick-hats or not or whether any European competition is good enough to enter.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaam - the wailling noise emmited by Yams as their team crashed out of the Champions League Qualifiers, thus denying them a tilt at the real thing - with the music and that, and then the UEFA Cup, which they were probably too good for anyway. Was also heard around the time of departure of the following people - Burley, Pressley and Hartley, and can often be heard just before 3pm when Vlad's latest teamsheet is announced.

[peregrine]

Yammer: involuntary hesitation in speech that afflicts the yam when he finds out what Vlad has just done

Yam mail: unsolicited propaganda expousing fantastical notions of yam superiority. Generally foisted on the general public for annoyance value only, although west of Edinburgh residents are particularly gullible and are frequently duped

[s.a.m]

Yam.Pet - small,hand-held, electronic game for one player
who micromanages football club from Far Off Country.

Yamdroid - electronically altered humanoid who takes instruction from
distant remote controller

Yamisery - emotional state of fear and grief, compounded by knowledge
that one is, in part, responsible for situation causing said grief.

Yammuppet - insult

Yamethics - reversal of the normal conventions of business ethics.
Damaging rather than benevolent interventions are seen as
the norm.

Yameltdown - The Endgame. Played slowly, for the appreciation of (rival) onlookers.

Yamtheology - a religious doctrine to rival the three great religions (if only in the devotion of followers). Believers worship and sing to The Vlad. See also: Yamnostic, and Yamatheist>

N.B. I have spent at least twenty minutes of my (very precious) time registering, composing, and posting the above. Is there a convenient scapegoat I could blame for this outrageous waste of time and effort????

[SvenNeil]

Yamma-gettin-outa-here! Term known to uttered when Yam team is falling to a heavy defeat. First heard 1/1/73.

also goes with Yamsent to describe those Yams who (not infrequently) choose to stay at home.

[Speedway]

The Yam (Poorly Recieved)

Unsuccessful tribute group to the great Weller fronted mod rockers. Amongst their repetoire were 'That's (not) Entertainment', 'A Tactic Called Malice' and 'Going Underground (In a Submarine). Now rumoured to be working on a comeback single '(Wish I Could Be Like) David Grof'

Yam Ademedoit (blame, chav)

Oft repeated phrase heard in courts of law uttered by first accused Yam to second accused Yam in condeming tones. See also: Lee Wallace

Yammityville Horror (Recurring, Unsettling)

Phrase used to describe individual period on 90 minutes. Sold by the club in batches of 18-21 every year under the guise 'Season Ticket'. See Also: Steve Fulton

[MyJo]

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Yam.Pet - small,hand-held, electronic game for one player
who micromanages football club from Far Off Country.

Yamdroid - electronically altered humanoid who takes instruction from
distant remote controller (current example: Steven Frail;Paul
Hartley - DEFECTIVE; Steven Pressley - DEFECTIVE; Craig
Gordon - DEFECTIVE)

Yamisery - emotional state of fear and grief, compounded by knowledge
that one is, in part, responsible for situation causing said grief.

Yammuppet - insult

Yamethics - reversal of the normal conventions of business ethics.
Damaging rather than benevolent interventions are seen as
the norm.
Yameltdown - The Endgame. Played slowly, for the appreciation of (rival)
onlookers.
Yamtheology - a religious doctrine to rival the three great religions (sorry
Dodd and Tariq E, if sensitivities have been (with the
greatest and hugest and most heartfelt respect)(And I
Mean That)) offended. See also: Yamnostic, and
Yamatheist>

N.B. I have spent at least twenty minutes of my (very precious) time registering, composing, and posting the above. Is there a convenient scapegoat I could blame for this outrageous waste of time and effort????

you've been here twenty minutes and you dont know who is to blame yet?......boy you've got a lot to learn

[The Keeper]

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The Yam (Poorly Recieved)

Unsuccessful tribute group to the great Weller fronted mod rockers. Amongst their repetoire were 'That's (not) Entertainment', 'A Tactic Called Malice' and 'Going Underground (In a Submarine). Now rumoured to be working on a comeback single '(Wish I Could Be Like) David Grof'

Yam Ademedoit (blame, chav)

Oft repeated phrase heard in courts of law uttered by first accused Yam to second accused Yam in condeming tones. See also: Lee Wallace

Yammityville Horror (Recurring, Unsettling)

Phrase used to describe individual period on 90 minutes. Sold by the club in batches of 18-21 every year under the guise 'Season Ticket'. See Also: Steve Fulton

[Hibbie0762]

This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

[glow1875]

YamYum (Confectionary)

A type of bun bought in Greggs. Found only in shops in Gorgie, where rumours of signing Gudjohnsen and Tevez abound.


Yammy Mammy (Mythical)

A Hearts supporting mother who's still looking good despite the toil of looking after the kids... aye right.

[The Keeper]

Yam Tomorrow Some pleasant event in the future, which is never likely to materialize.

Origin

This derives from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There (1871), in which the White Queen offers Alice 'yam to-morrow':

'I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!' the Queen said. 'Twopence a week, and yam every other day.'

Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, 'I don't want you to hire ME - and I don't care for yam.'

'It's very good yam,' said the Queen.

'Well, I don't want any TO-DAY, at any rate.'

'You couldn't have it if you DID want it,' the Queen said. 'The rule is, yam to-morrow and yam yesterday - but never yam to-day.'

'It MUST come sometimes to "yam to-day,"' Alice objected.

'No, it can't,' said the Queen. 'It's yam every OTHER day: to-day isn't any OTHER day, you know.'

'I don't understand you,' said Alice. 'It's dreadfully confusing!'

The phrase caught on quickly and yam tomorrow became a synonym for a 'pie in the sky' promise of good things in the future.

And it holds to this day down Gorgie way.

[hibbymac]

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This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

Can't see any reason why someone would object. Nothing wrong with spreading the word amongst others, especially if they're not on T'internet.

[jacomo]

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This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

Personally, Yamaha is still no.1... utter genius the keeper

(am liking your Through the Looking Glass riff too!)

Could this become a collectable, to go alongside the Goals and Glory publication?