Massive localised storm clouds predicted over Tynie apparently, with angry cold fronts and continuous ugly squalls expected for the rest of the season.

So bad that a new, higher level of Maroon alert has been announced.

Key features:


  • no Jambo should be left unattended for safety reasons
  • strong likelihood that forward all motion will be impossible
  • travelling to any games for the rest of the season should not be undertaken as the experience could be life threatening
  • likely severe impact on finances
  • bread and milk in plentiful supply but everything requiring bottle has gone
  • please check on elderly Jambo neighbours who may be unable to remember what Hampden is in these conditions
  • continued stand rusting will however continue unhindered


Emergency plastic cash cows will be distributed and charitable donations for the emergency upkeep of Naismith's massive salary are requested.

The rest of world football is asked to pray for the 'Famous' in their hour of need.