Hearts banter

[Scouse Hibee]

I had occasion about 24 years ago to meet with the late John Haggart regularly when he was with Sharkeys. He was a fantastic guy who was always really friendly towards me. I had absolutely no idea of who he was and his association with Hearts. I had not long moved to Edinburgh and we spoke about football, Liverpool and why I had started to support Hibs. I gave him my reasons and threw in lots of insults about Hearts,Tynecastle etc. He never once outed himself and still treated me like a perfect gentleman. It was at least 6 months later when I was told by a colleague that he was an ex Hearts manager. The next time we met I asked John why he had never pulled me up for slagging Hearts, he said son I liked the fact that you were just showing your love of Hibs and football in general, who I supported had no bearing on your passion.

[WoreTheGreen]

Sharkeys hertz fans and well enough said

[Ringothedog]

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Sharkeys hertz fans and well enough said

They are Hibs fans

[greenlex]

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They are Hibs fans

Think it’s more Man Utd corporate hospitality stuff these days.

[Ringothedog]

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Think it’s more Man Utd corporate hospitality stuff these days.

More than likely, it was certainly Hibs at school

[WoreTheGreen]

Really i went to school with them and always remember them as hertz fans mind you it’s a good few year ago

[Ringothedog]

Boroughmuir ?

[Hibrandenburg]

When I was working as a paramedic in Berlin I was sat at traffic lights in the ambulance on my way back to the watch after a call. On the other side of the road there was a group of lads crossing the road and one of them had a hearts top on. I picked up the microphone to our PA system and shouted "7-0 yah bass". The look on his face was epic as he tried to figure out where it came from and his utter disbelief when he saw what he thought was some German guy giving him the 7 fingers out of an ambulance.

[WoreTheGreen]

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Boroughmuir ?

No primary school

[iwasthere1972]

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My best man is a Jambo. I've taken some slaggings over the years but it's my turn now. He takes it well though and wouldn't change the banter for anything.

Best man and Jambo in the same sentence.

[Mr White]

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When I was working as a paramedic in Berlin I was sat at traffic lights in the ambulance on my way back to the watch after a call. On the other side of the road there was a group of lads crossing the road and one of them had a hearts top on. I picked up the microphone to our PA system and shouted "7-0 yah bass". The look on his face was epic as he tried to figure out where it came from and his utter disbelief when he saw what he thought was some German guy giving him the 7 fingers out of an ambulance.

[hibsbollah]

There's a story that the autumn after the 0-7 game two council gardeners at princes Street garden planted swathes of daffodils on Castle Hill, but did it in a perfect massive 0-7. I was told they were clearly visible for a few years, dunno if anyone can confirm.

[greenlex]

Not Hearts banter but my neighbour was a big Rangers fan. We shared the front lawn and as I done shift work I ended up doing the mowing and lawn care. After a couple of years he insisted on doing the spring prep so let him crack on. A good few weeks later I was looking out my upstairs bedroom window. The ******* had done a huge lush RFC on the lawn with the Evergreen fertiliser.

[Deansy]

In 1986 I used to work/drink in the 'Tap o' Lauriston', it was a great pub with the regulars 50-50 Hibs/Hearts. Saturday-nights usualy ended-up with the football-songs, each trying to outdo the other but there was never any trouble as most of the guys were mates. In (roughly) January, when they were unbeaten and looking likely for the league, one of our mates, Peter Kane, a staunch Hibee, started to agree with the Jambos a lot, even indulging in one or two of their tunes. We couldn't understand it and when he was asked why he just said "I'd rather an Edinburgh-team won it as against they Septic xxxxxx !". Come the last game of the season, we were in the main stand and then the word came over that Dundee had scored - we were all going mental but Peter had to be stopped from almost doing a somersault !. Cutting a long story short, on the way back to the 'Tap' after the game, looking forward to our Jambo-mates return, I asked Peter what was with the the big celebrations - I thought he wanted an Edinburgh-team to win the league ??. He just smiled and said 'Because I supported them, the daft-*******'s were buying me drink all the time - I've been blootered oot ma skull every Saturday-night for 4-5 months and it hasn't cost me a bolt thanks to they fannies !!" . He was merciless with the Jambos that night at the 'Tap' - it was one of the best nights of my life !

[linlithgowhibbie]

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Very difficult to have banter with anyone who calls us hobos, filth, peg sellers and spoon burners. That and 1-5 is all they have

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You are forgetting the favourite one "Vermin"

[McD]

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When I was working as a paramedic in Berlin I was sat at traffic lights in the ambulance on my way back to the watch after a call. On the other side of the road there was a group of lads crossing the road and one of them had a hearts top on. I picked up the microphone to our PA system and shouted "7-0 yah bass". The look on his face was epic as he tried to figure out where it came from and his utter disbelief when he saw what he thought was some German guy giving him the 7 fingers out of an ambulance.

This is epic

I once went to a works night out where the organiser had picked the haymarket bar as the meeting point. A smartarse yam messaged me to ask how I was enjoying being in hearts territory. I replied saying I felt like a pilgrim in an unholy land. Radio silence for the rest of the evening

[kaimendhibs]

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You are forgetting the favourite one "Vermin"

Ahhh, my bad

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[Hibrandenburg]

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This is epic

I once went to a works night out where the organiser had picked the haymarket bar as the meeting point. A smartarse yam messaged me to ask how I was enjoying being in hearts territory. I replied saying I felt like a pilgrim in an unholy land. Radio silence for the rest of the evening

[wallpaperman]

The Steven Naismith thread over there is a sight to behold.

59 pages of hope,fear,denial,and just the occasional lucid posting (probably an undercover Hibby).

They are so bored now though that it has gone into bizarre postings with pictures of Hitler, plus Billie Piper in various states of mild undress, which is getting the natives over aroused by the looks of things. I don't think many of them see semi clad women in real life, unless they peek at their Mammy's getting changed.

[hibbysam]

At 2-0 down at tynecastle at half time, receiving the text about ‘normal service’ ‘lower league dross’ ‘taking candy from babies’ etc etc. Seen him on the way to the bus stop after the game and he was red faced then. The rest as they say is Hibstory. He also takes pride of place in the ‘time for heroes’ DVD as one of them giving JC abuse as he stood in front of them at ER celebrating. He gets a complimentary photo sent every time I watch it.

[CMurdoch]

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I had occasion about 24 years ago to meet with the late John Haggart regularly when he was with Sharkeys. He was a fantastic guy who was always really friendly towards me. I had absolutely no idea of who he was and his association with Hearts. I had not long moved to Edinburgh and we spoke about football, Liverpool and why I had started to support Hibs. I gave him my reasons and threw in lots of insults about Hearts,Tynecastle etc. He never once outed himself and still treated me like a perfect gentleman. It was at least 6 months later when I was told by a colleague that he was an ex Hearts manager. The next time we met I asked John why he had never pulled me up for slagging Hearts, he said son I liked the fact that you were just showing your love of Hibs and football in general, who I supported had no bearing on your passion.

Great story.
It is always good and classy not to make a moron of yourself with other football supporters....................unless they are fanny's.

[KingFranck]

After a match at Tynie me, my mate and his brother headed back into town to Rakes bar in St Andrew's Square.
The pub was very busy, my pal's brother goes up to the bar for a round and it's about 4 deep round the bar so begins pushing his way through.
He accidentally bumps into one of the punters. The punter says "excuse me who are you pushing?" the response "I'm just trying to get tot he bar mate"
The punter then says "Do you not know who I am?" to which my mate says "ehmmm No who the F are you?"

"I'm Scott Crabbe of Hearts "

my mate "Never heard of you now please get out the way so i can get a round"

[21.05.2016]

I was at tynecastle for the 2-2 game. Couldn't get any signal whilst in the stadium but when I got back to the car afterwards all the texts sent from earlier finally starting coming through. As you can imagine, many of my jambo acquaintances had been quick to message me at HT.

"115 years, oops maybe next year!"

"Big team pumps wee team again"

"walk in the park"

"bottled the Scottish cup again"

Etc etc etc was pretty much along the lines of what was sent. Needless to say they were all pretty quiet after that, until later when all the "awck well now we get to pump yous out on your own patch" etc texts started.

Oh how much sweeter they make it all

[21.05.2016]

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After a match at Tynie me, my mate and his brother headed back into town to Rakes bar in St Andrew's Square.
The pub was very busy, my pal's brother goes up to the bar for a round and it's about 4 deep round the bar so begins pushing his way through.
He accidentally bumps into one of the punters. The punter says "excuse me who are you pushing?" the response "I'm just trying to get tot he bar mate"
The punter then says "Do you not know who I am?" to which my mate says "ehmmm No who the F are you?"

"I'm Scott Crabbe of Hearts "

my mate "Never heard of you now please get out the way so i can get a round"

Ah the old "do you not know who I am?" line, the trademark of a Grade A fud.

[hibees 7062]

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I had occasion about 24 years ago to meet with the late John Haggart regularly when he was with Sharkeys. He was a fantastic guy who was always really friendly towards me. I had absolutely no idea of who he was and his association with Hearts. I had not long moved to Edinburgh and we spoke about football, Liverpool and why I had started to support Hibs. I gave him my reasons and threw in lots of insults about Hearts,Tynecastle etc. He never once outed himself and still treated me like a perfect gentleman. It was at least 6 months later when I was told by a colleague that he was an ex Hearts manager. The next time we met I asked John why he had never pulled me up for slagging Hearts, he said son I liked the fact that you were just showing your love of Hibs and football in general, who I supported had no bearing on your passion.

His son was working with them the last time I spoke to him . Big Sevco supporter