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Thread: Hearts banter

  1. #1

    Hearts banter

    I am sure many members have stories of humorous banter with the maroon neighbours so thought I would share a light-hearted one. With the next game being against them and keeping away from the unsavoury side of it we could highlight the funny experiences.

    When Hearts played Liverpool a few seasons ago after the 2012 horror show (sorry) my brother n law offered me two Liverpool v Hearts Europa tickets in the Red room giving my son and I the opportunity to see them hopefully get spanked.
    At halftime I went for a wee refreshment with my son. In the red suite were around half a dozen yams all enjoying the Anfield experience and a bit hyped. I got to the bar and called for a pint and a coke. Next thing this Jambo next to me recognising the Edinburgh accent and assuming I am one of them shouts 'brother' and gives me the biggest man hug possible while singing the only song they know. I peeled him off while my son was packing up laughing and said well pal that's probably the first Hearts match you have been to where you have hugged a Hibby. He put his head in his hands and trotted off with his mates slagging him to bits and him strangely asking me 'dinnae tell anybody'.


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  3. #2
    First Team Breakthrough
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    Every September weekend a crowd of mixed age boys go to Benidorm.
    One of the guys sons came one year. He came down to the pool with a pair of Hearts shorts on. I was very confused. His auld mans a Hibby, and is regularly arguing with Jambos. It was explained that when his son was young, and because he was working weekends, someone else took him to Swine-castle. Feeble excuse if you ask me.
    Anyway, I ran a bus 🚌 to the Falkirk semi and at half time, with us 3-0 down, I got a text from the Jambo asking if I was on my way home. 😡4 Hibs goals & 3 days later, I text him back. “That’s me on my way hame now Davy” ⚽️🍺😋😜
    “Barsteward” or words to that effect was his reply.
    ⚽️🇳🇬💚
    Last edited by munchar; 13-01-2018 at 11:12 AM.

  4. #3
    Testimonial Due HIBERNIAN-0762's Avatar
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    No banter with me, they're just a bunch of anal suppository's


  5. #4
    Coaching Staff NAE NOOKIE's Avatar
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    I know a few rabid match going Yams, we get on fine but I cant think of any specific funny moments. All the Hibbies and Jambos get on pretty well down here though. I suppose because the place is full of Old Firm and EPL fanboys and we both have somebody to mutually look down on.
    Last edited by NAE NOOKIE; 13-01-2018 at 11:31 AM.

  6. #5
    @hibs.net private member Jack's Avatar
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    Oh how I laughed when Harry Potter became their manager and one of them said it was a great appointment.
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  7. #6
    First Team Regular Skol's Avatar
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    Leaving Tynie after two late joe Mcbride goals salvaged a draw. Stramash trying to cross road up at skate ford as there’s a red man and hobbies pushing to cross. One guy shouts ffs lads wait for the wee green hibby. All pushing stops and we stand patiently till the wee green hibby signals we can cross the road. You probably had to be there to fully appreciate that one.

  8. #7
    @hibs.net private member Booked4Being-Ugly's Avatar
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    I know of 1 Jambo from Livingston that paid top dollar for a Hampden 2016 final hospitality package with his Hun mates to watch Hibs get beat!

  9. #8
    Since moving down south Im still tied to my old high school mates, a group of 6 or 7 jambos, who I still keep up with. Despite my best intentions to engage in a bit of light hearted football banter on social media or what have you, every time it goes south because of this hmfc blinkered mentality which ultimately results in a FTH and end of chat. Impossible to engage with jambos seriously about hearts, or hibs, without them being ***** about it. Hibs class, be the the better man and let them talk amongst themselves. ******s.

  10. #9
    Last derby I was at I was in hospitality, so was sat in the home end. Sitting behind me was 6-7 lovely older gentleman who constantly referred to any Hibs player on the ball as 'fenian *******s'.

    Banter.

  11. #10
    Testimonial Due Big_Franck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HIBERNIAN-0762 View Post
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    No banter with me, they're just a bunch of anal suppository's

    This.

  12. #11
    @hibs.net private member Bostonhibby's Avatar
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    Anyone heard the one about the yam roasters inserting their small change into a life size farmyard beast?

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  13. #12
    @hibs.net private member cleanyman's Avatar
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    I don't speak to any of them

  14. #13
    @hibs.net private member Bostonhibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Booked4Being-Ugly View Post
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    I know of 1 Jambo from Livingston that paid top dollar for a Hampden 2016 final hospitality package with his Hun mates to watch Hibs get beat!
    We had one sitting right behind us in hospitality with a leeds utd fan who was wearing one of those wee half and half badges that had leeds and the rangers on it. Patronising git who came close to a bit of bad luck once or twice.

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  15. #14
    Testimonial Due kaimendhibs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skol View Post
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    Leaving Tynie after two late joe Mcbride goals salvaged a draw. Stramash trying to cross road up at skate ford as there’s a red man and hobbies pushing to cross. One guy shouts ffs lads wait for the wee green hibby. All pushing stops and we stand patiently till the wee green hibby signals we can cross the road. You probably had to be there to fully appreciate that one.
    Left at 2 nil only done it twice since

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  16. #15
    But but but 5-1 is the best 'banter' I get from Hearts fans these days. They seem mystified that I don't care.
    PM Awards General Poster of The Year 2015, 2016, 2017. Probably robbed in other years

  17. #16
    First Team Breakthrough Fergos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skol View Post
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    Leaving Tynie after two late joe Mcbride goals salvaged a draw. Stramash trying to cross road up at skate ford as there’s a red man and hobbies pushing to cross. One guy shouts ffs lads wait for the wee green hibby. All pushing stops and we stand patiently till the wee green hibby signals we can cross the road. You probably had to be there to fully appreciate that one.
    Quality end to that night, Hibbies leaving the old away end onto Gorgie road singing our songs.

    Class.

    GGTTH

  18. #17
    @hibs.net private member O'Rourke3's Avatar
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    Funniest moment was watching the pre World Cup friendly Vs Saudi in Milne'sBar. The TV edit made it look like Medals Mackay had scored from a free kick and the majority in the bar started singing his name. As the replay clarified one John Collins had actually taken the free kick, a single Hibby in the corner started "Can you hear the Jambos sing?" which me and my mate would have joined in with if we weren't rolling on the floor laughing....

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  19. #18
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    Late Spring 1986, yams have just lost at Dens Park and my dad, an armchair yam is in a foul mood! So my Mum (hibby) makes the dinner and we all eat quietly. Dad makes teas/coffees for after dinner and my Mum brings out a sweet treat to have with it...... a packet of Jam Tarts!! Dad was not amused, rest of us laughing our collective asses off.

  20. #19
    @hibs.net private member 21.05.2016's Avatar
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    No a lot of banter you can have with them these days. All very delicate wee souls since the cheating days are over and their fantasy of being some big super mighty team is starting to become harder and harder to back up.

    I do enjoy getting into debates with them though, their desperate scrabbling for the "oh but but 5-1" comfort blankets is always amusing to watch
    Sir David Gray


  21. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by 21.05.2016 View Post
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    No a lot of banter you can have with them these days. All very delicate wee souls since the cheating days are over and their fantasy of being some big super mighty team is starting to become harder and harder to back up.

    I do enjoy getting into debates with them though, their desperate scrabbling for the "oh but but 5-1" comfort blankets is always amusing to watch
    I always think to myself that in the back of their minds they know fine well they won this tainted cup using a fugitive Russian criminals laundered 'money' while being in debt to the tune of multiple millions. Still, if it makes them feel better then such is life.

    Mon the Cabbage!!!


  22. #21
    @hibs.net private member erin go bragh's Avatar
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    After the 2-2 cup derby at the PBS . I hadn’t noticed a couple of texts from one of my jambo mates ( too busy singing ,then going mental when PH scored ) but the first text said boom , followed with another fin boom and that’s 115 ya muppet . Then when I phoned him laughing my head off , he said these immoral words . “ it won’t mean anything unless yous go on and win it “ .
    😂😂😂😂🇳🇬🏆
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    GGTTH

  23. #22
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    I was in a pub toilet in Leith one Saturday night standing at the urinal with john Robertson on one side of me and Walter Kidd on the other. There was a rumour going round at the time that robbo might be moving to hibs so being bevvied I said when are you signing for hibs then weeman before he could answer Kidd says you only go there when you're finished to which I replied how are you no there you were finished 10year ago ya ****.Everybody including Robertson started pissing themselves laughing, Kidd raging mumbles I hate cheeky wee ****s like you,good memories. GGTTH

  24. #23
    @hibs.net private member silverhibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bostonhibby View Post
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    Anyone heard the one about the yam roasters inserting their small change into a life size farmyard beast?

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    Whatever happened to the old cow, was her insides ripped out to see how much they got.

  25. #24
    @hibs.net private member Aldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Leith View Post
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    Last derby I was at I was in hospitality, so was sat in the home end. Sitting behind me was 6-7 lovely older gentleman who constantly referred to any Hibs player on the ball as 'fenian *******s'. Banter.
    Doesn't surprise me however I'm not very subtle and would have started a conversation with my neebor about the Lady Haig Poppy fund and their inability to pay it and see where it went from there! Plums

  26. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    But but but 5-1 is the best 'banter' I get from Hearts fans these days. They seem mystified that I don't care.
    You know you've won the debate when you get the 5-1 from them. When they resort to that just say something like "ch-ching", "bingo" or "jackpot". When they ask what that's supposed to mean? You say "I win" then walk away.

  27. #26
    My best man is a Jambo. I've taken some slaggings over the years but it's my turn now. He takes it well though and wouldn't change the banter for anything.

  28. #27
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21.05.2016 View Post
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    No a lot of banter you can have with them these days. All very delicate wee souls since the cheating days are over and their fantasy of being some big super mighty team is starting to become harder and harder to back up.

    I do enjoy getting into debates with them though, their desperate scrabbling for the "oh but but 5-1" comfort blankets is always amusing to watch
    Thats how I find it too but, I try to avoid getting into football chat with them.

  29. #28
    Testimonial Due kaimendhibs's Avatar
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    Very difficult to have banter with anyone who calls us hobos, filth, peg sellers and spoon burners. That and 1-5 is all they have

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  30. #29
    @hibs.net private member Bostonhibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverhibee View Post
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    Whatever happened to the old cow, was her insides ripped out to see how much they got.
    Still swallowing up whatever cash they have left after paying extra for the seats they thought they'd already paid for and meeting the rising global prices for plastic owls.

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    "I did not need any persuasion to play for such a great club, the Hibs result is still one of the first I look for"

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  31. #30
    @hibs.net private member Ringothedog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaimendhibs View Post
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    Very difficult to have banter with anyone who calls us hobos, filth, peg sellers and spoon burners. That and 1-5 is all they have

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    They are the most horrible, arrogant,disgusting,smelly, cardigan wearing,pathetic, deluded set of fans on this planet. They wouldn’t know banter if it smacked them in the face. FUDS the lot of them

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