Rehab for TV addictions

[Hibbyradge]

Dear Clare

My wife and I started watching Scandal on Sky Living before Christmas and we're about to start Season 4.

It's terrible. It really is.

However, although I literally shout at the TV pretty much every episode because of the ludicrous stories, the awful acting and the glaringly obvious plot holes, I can't stop watching it. It's only 45 minutes per episode so we've been binge watching like crazy.

We need help. Is there any hope for us?

Yours

Square eyes
York

[hibby6270]

Dear Mr Square Eyes,

Thank you for your heartfelt plea for help.

The TV programme you refer to, I must admit, I have not watched. However, in a similar vein, I have received letters from Thronies who are similarly addicted to a programme called Game of Thrones (again not a programme I have had the misfortune to watch!). Another favourite addiction I hear about from time to time comes via individuals calling themselves Potterheads (seemingly what fans of Harry Potter series of books and films are named, which I haven’t read or seen and this apparently makes me a Muggle).

Anyway, I digress.

My advice to all of these devotees has been, and I feel sure will apply to yourself and your good lady, as follows. If they cannot beat the addiction of watching television, then the best course of therapy is to binge watch the following list of DVD releases - ad infinitum - and keep on repeating the dose until you feel better. Here’s the list:

Time for Heroes
Time for Heroes : Extra Time
The Greatest Game in History (0-7 on New Years Day)
Six of the Best (6-2)

Now, I’m not sure what the numbers in brackets represent but I’m led to believe that the higher numbers in both cases bring unbridled satisfaction to those wearing green attire. So, I would recommend getting hold of, at the very least, a green and white scarf to wear whilst watching the DVDs.

If the above suggestions have no effect, then I have heard there is a chap from TV land called Jeremy Kyle who can allegedly help poor souls to rid themselves of their addiction demons. Maybe give him a call.

Please let me know if this course of therapy helps. It’s great to receive feedback.
Oh!! BTW - the invoice is in the post.

Yours caringly - and I’ve been told for some reason to write - GGTTH!!

Clare (TV Addiction Buster Extraordinaire)

[HibbyAndy]