Dear Mr Square Eyes,
Thank you for your heartfelt plea for help.
The TV programme you refer to, I must admit, I have not watched. However, in a similar vein, I have received letters from Thronies who are similarly addicted to a programme called Game of Thrones (again not a programme I have had the misfortune to watch!). Another favourite addiction I hear about from time to time comes via individuals calling themselves Potterheads (seemingly what fans of Harry Potter series of books and films are named, which I havenít read or seen and this apparently makes me a Muggle).
Anyway, I digress.
My advice to all of these devotees has been, and I feel sure will apply to yourself and your good lady, as follows. If they cannot beat the addiction of watching television, then the best course of therapy is to binge watch the following list of DVD releases - ad infinitum - and keep on repeating the dose until you feel better. Hereís the list:
Time for Heroes
Time for Heroes : Extra Time
The Greatest Game in History (0-7 on New Years Day)
Six of the Best (6-2)
Now, Iím not sure what the numbers in brackets represent but Iím led to believe that the higher numbers in both cases bring unbridled satisfaction to those wearing green attire. So, I would recommend getting hold of, at the very least, a green and white scarf to wear whilst watching the DVDs.
If the above suggestions have no effect, then I have heard there is a chap from TV land called Jeremy Kyle who can allegedly help poor souls to rid themselves of their addiction demons. Maybe give him a call.
Please let me know if this course of therapy helps. Itís great to receive feedback.
Oh!! BTW - the invoice is in the post.
Yours caringly - and Iíve been told for some reason to write - GGTTH!!
Clare (TV Addiction Buster Extraordinaire)