Yams: One in a Million

[007]

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Andy I'm getting the impression (I might be wrong of course) that you dinnae like the Jambos.

A new stand where wi-fi and a phone signal will be available as well as triple cooked chips. Separate toilets for the ladies and gents is probably the Budge's next big announcement to get the windae lickers to part with their cash.

Never felt so optimistic going into a new season before what with record season ticket sales, trusting NL to bring in a few more good signings while the Yams are scouring the bottom leagues of England looking for a Jamie Vardy.

Bring it on.

They're more likely to end up with Peter Vardy playing up front for them.

[Is It On....]

Do Hearts get a "sell on %" from JC 😂😂

[Captain Trips]

They can run out at the start of matches next season to their new theme which goes something like this...............

We've got some half priced cracked ice
And miles and miles of carpet tiles.....

[Captain Trips]

Hearts introduce further funding initiatives:

[Sioux]

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" In July, you will receive an official welcome pack with your personalised membership card and your “I’m One in a Million” badge".

It sounds like they're joining the Dennis and Gnasher fan club.

Ha ha it just gets worse. Laughing stock.

[greenginger]

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Will the chips be included in the discounts? I have a wee feeling they're going to be pretty pricey.

They are offering a 5 percent discount for their lounge packages because the lounges won't be open until January.

£ 1500 for a lounge package seat and you get into the Gorgie suite on a first come basis as it will be over subscribed.

Anyone want to try selling the muppets the Brooklyn Bridge.

[Bostonhibby]

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Will the chips be included in the discounts? I have a wee feeling they're going to be pretty pricey.

You're not at the races.

If you're announcing the product the way they have it's now a premium quality product no one else can get near.

In years to come Ferrero Roche style adverts will be common on Scottish TV. There'll be lickspittles like Potter and dougal proffering fried potatoes arranged in pyramids, served off silver salvers to Mrs Budge, Fatty Foulkes and Steven Hendry whilst the maroon balloons stand outside gazing in licking the panes of the glass wall if it's built.

The future's green.

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[Andy74]

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Or maybe they are just like us and love their team?

Its just a pity they are having to buy it big time, remember "Save Our Hibs", did we not do and give as much as we could to make sure we survived?

Now we have the upper hand in everything, we seem to becoming smug about it?

Just like what we hated them for in the past!!!!

What was Save Our Hibs?!

[Bostonhibby]

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What was Save Our Hibs?!

Was it like Save Hearts In Trouble?

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[Captain Trips]

Kind of flawed in that there isn't a million of them contrary to what they think.

I suppose they cant call it "one in a few thousand gullible clownshoes"

[Captain Trips]

Hearts announce new club sponsor:

[weecounty hibby]

In any other business saying things like "we had a budget and we knew we would be short so we planned to then ask our customers to give us handouts to make up the shortfall" would have folk pissing themselves at your strategy. But when it comes to hearts fans it is actually total genius. The old saying "that you can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time but you can never fool all of the people all of the time" is totally obsolete with them. They are a seriously ****ed up bunch and are so desperate to cling on to this big team bull**** that they will be auctioning of their own kidneys next to raise funds for the budgie. Embarrassing doesn't begin to describe their begging

[Mikey09]

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Or maybe they are just like us and love their team?

Its just a pity they are having to buy it big time, remember "Save Our Hibs", did we not do and give as much as we could to make sure we survived?

Now we have the upper hand in everything, we seem to becoming smug about it?

Just like what we hated them for in the past!!!!

No.

[Deansy]

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Or maybe they are just like us and love their team?

Its just a pity they are having to buy it big time, remember "Save Our Hibs", did we not do and give as much as we could to make sure we survived?

Now we have the upper hand in everything, we seem to becoming smug about it?

Just like what we hated them for in the past!!!!

I don't really think it's folk being 'Smug' - think most are posting knowing they'll make the Jambos looking-in 'seethe'. It's a great way of passing the close-season boredom by having a laugh at one of the most pompous, arrogant clubs in the game now getting it's long overdue comeuppance !

[RyeSloan]

Wow their press releases really are a work of art.

It's like a competition to write the most excruciating sentence with the most commas ever.

[Captain Trips]

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" In July, you will receive an official welcome pack with your personalised membership card and your “I’m One in a Million” badge".

It sounds like they're joining the Dennis and Gnasher fan club.

The first of the badges have been sent out:

[WhileTheChief..]

Not seen this posted anywhere but they are having an auction next week to sell off old parts of the stand. £10 entry fee mind.

Amongst some signage on offer you could go for a bit of A4 that says 'Private' on it or even 'Sponsors Lounge'!

Now if if these were like old brass plaques or something with a bit of history attached to them then fine. But they are literally Word documents with a Hearts badge and maroon background.

Theres some really awful stuff up for sale.

You really gotta check it out. It takes cringeworthy to a new level. Even for them.

https://readymag.com/u10238171/774404/

[Col2]

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Not seen this posted anywhere but they are having an auction next week to sell off old parts of the stand. £10 entry fee mind.

Amongst some signage on offer you could go for a bit of A4 that says 'Private' on it or even 'Sponsors Lounge'!

Now if if these were like old brass plaques or something with a bit of history attached to them then fine. But they are literally Word documents with a Hearts badge and maroon background.

Theres some really awful stuff up for sale.

You really gotta check it out. It takes cringeworthy to a new level. Even for them.

https://readymag.com/u10238171/774404/

OH MY GOD. That beats everything else hands down!!! They are even selling the Ladies and Gentlemen toilet signs!!!! So you get the chance to bid for an item that smells like pish and has already been part of a stand that ozzes pish!!!

[Is It On....]

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Not seen this posted anywhere but they are having an auction next week to sell off old parts of the stand. £10 entry fee mind.

Amongst some signage on offer you could go for a bit of A4 that says 'Private' on it or even 'Sponsors Lounge'!

Now if if these were like old brass plaques or something with a bit of history attached to them then fine. But they are literally Word documents with a Hearts badge and maroon background.

Theres some really awful stuff up for sale.

You really gotta check it out. It takes cringeworthy to a new level. Even for them.

https://readymag.com/u10238171/774404/

When I saw the "Any person committing a nuisance in the ground will be prosecuted" sign I thought of Mr Cummings 😎. Could understand someone buying a crest, but toilet signs ffs?

[Deansy]

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Not seen this posted anywhere but they are having an auction next week to sell off old parts of the stand. £10 entry fee mind.

Amongst some signage on offer you could go for a bit of A4 that says 'Private' on it or even 'Sponsors Lounge'!

Now if if these were like old brass plaques or something with a bit of history attached to them then fine. But they are literally Word documents with a Hearts badge and maroon background.

Theres some really awful stuff up for sale.

You really gotta check it out. It takes cringeworthy to a new level. Even for them.

https://readymag.com/u10238171/774404/

'Good condition Durable Plastic'


I'm sold, whatever it is - you just can't get good condition durable, plastic anywhere, these days !

[Bostonhibby]

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'Good condition Durable Plastic'


I'm sold, whatever it is - you just can't get good condition durable, plastic anywhere, these days !

Yep, Another first, if they could somehow adapt this durable plastic into containers for eating their fried potato invention out of then they're probably up for a Nobel prize as far as I am concerned.

What next from the team that keeps giving? Fire sticks stuffed with plant leaves where you enjoy the fumes? Looking glass which reflect your image?



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[Kaiser1962]

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The whole thing is laughable.

Family fun day, meet Cathro, £10 to attend an auction, £100 for discounts and of course the cash cow.

It's so small time it almost has to be a joke.

Neccessity and desperate measures go hand in hand.

[Northernhibee]

Ironic that they're selling off "A Winning Team".

[Aldo]

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Not seen this posted anywhere but they are having an auction next week to sell off old parts of the stand. £10 entry fee mind. Amongst some signage on offer you could go for a bit of A4 that says 'Private' on it or even 'Sponsors Lounge'! Now if if these were like old brass plaques or something with a bit of history attached to them then fine. But they are literally Word documents with a Hearts badge and maroon background. Theres some really awful stuff up for sale. You really gotta check it out. It takes cringeworthy to a new level. Even for them. https://readymag.com/u10238171/774404/

New levels of desperation. Embarrassing to say the least however it what big teams do!! Did we not all know that!! 😁

[Bostonhibby]

Family yam "wouldn't mind a seat, but not just a bit of a seat, and I object to paying to get in"
😂😂😂😂😂

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[WhileTheChief..]

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Ironic that they're selling off "A Winning Team".

Clearly got no use for it in the future.

[Deansy]

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Clearly got no use for it in the future.

[Topographic Hibby]

The Hearts Song on vinyl currently sells on record collector sites for £5, if it includes the Picture Sleeve. The auction version doesn't have the sleeve, so immediately reduce by 50% at least.

Good job raising £2.50 there boys!!

[Keith_M]

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Its just a pity they are having to buy it big time, remember "Save Our Hibs", did we not do and give as much as we could to make sure we survived?

Now we have the upper hand in everything, we seem to becoming smug about it?

Just like what we hated them for in the past!!!!

Firstly, there has never been a "Save our Hibs". I'm surprised a Hibby would get confused about that.


Secondly, they are NOT now being asked to save their club. Their club was saved when Budge bought the shares from the Administrators, but failed to pay off a single penny of their massive debt.

What is happening now is that they are trying to catch up with what clubs like Hibs did years ago and finish the rebuilding of the stadium. Budge and cohorts seem to have been incapable of raising the funds or budgeting for this in a normal way and have once again put out the Begging Bowl.


That's not saving your Club, that's Total Jambo Embarrassment

[21.05.2016]

An utter embarrassment of a club. Ive never known a club to make mugs of their fans as much as they do, the begging bowls are constantly rattling. Big team my arse!

The cash cow had me in hysterics, it was so desperate and cringeworthy that my first thought was that it must be a hibs fan with a bit of photoshop skills at the wind up.

Shame they weren't so bothered about raising money to pay back the creditors who they bumped out of money. No no all about them. Shameless, grubby wee club. The days of living off other peoples money is over and this living within your means business is just not sitting well with them. Cathros "masterclass", the cash cow, £150 for a Q&A with Locke and Skacel, £51 for a "Skacel Tribute night", £100 discount club, the "give us money up front to guarantee you final tickets etc, they really are the most utterly desperate, embarrassing wee club. They will stop at nothing to milk more and more cash out the fans. I can't wait to see what their next mastermind idea will be, £51 for a cup of Rudis bath water? Auctioning off titles from the tynecastle toilets? Genuinely nothing would surprise me anymore with that mob