Hearts' New Stand Thread (Merged)

[HappyAsHellas]

Tiny pitch is 107 yards long according to a deluded friend which is roughly 98 metres which is below minimum standard for cat 1 games. Their last foray against a Maltese pub team was in front of the death trap which enabled "traditional" stadiums to still qualify. Once Budge's folly is complete I don't know if they can still play qualifiers there, but they certainly can't play group stage games there. This was, of course, pointed out to the gorgie hordes by the pie man who informed them there was nothing they could do to make Tiny fully compliant. His costing was about 38 million to remove the first 8 or so rows from behind each goal for the necessary pitch length and run off, and a new stand. Instead of appraising the situation in a calm and reasonable manner he was ran out of town as Lord pishy breeks stated upon meeting Vlad "he's the real deal". The rest as they say, is history.
Now they are building an office block minus seats, hospitality that looks into a playground (bloody dodgy however you look at it) and they are convinced that every team in the country is jealous of them. I know in some ways it's sad, but by christ it's as funny as tuck.

[Cabbage East]

Shinny, sleek glass. Tidy. Jealous peg sellers.

[NadeAteMyLunch!]

Well that was fun

[tamig]

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How the hell can the Yam's tiny stadium be UEFA compliant ?

To play anything other than pre-qualifying matches , the minimum pitch length is 105 metres.

The Tiny pitch is 107 yards, which is less than 100 metres

I always find it amusing how they quote their pitch dimensions in yards to give the impression it's far bigger than it actually is. Crazy.

[Deansy]

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Having supported hibs all my life I love to stick up the jambos. But the stand they are building is simple stunning. Yes it's not perfect and could of looked a lot better BUT ITS A LOT BETTER THAN OUR MAIN STAND. our stand looks tired and quite soulless. There's is modern with by the looks of it suburb facilities. So let's end this thread and concentrate on our team eh?


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The giveaway is the lack of 'Spell-check' and the appalling grammar used in Budgie's announcements !

[cabbageandribs1875]

#prayforfuzzy

[monktonharp]

fuzzyfanny looks like he knows

[GreenLake]

This has been good for a laugh. He will need to down a few glasses of champagne before watching the team they have this season.

[Hibbycol]

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I hope you lot are ashamed of yourselves.

Mocking and deriding a poor wee half-witted Yam that took the wrong exit off the information superhighway.

Did you have fun?

Where's your charity? Where's your concern for those less fortunate than yourselves?

And why did nobody tell me he was here so I could join in?


But I have to say you kept the whole thing going quite beautifully. I'm lost in admiration.


BTW - I don't think it's a good idea having a 'bar and roof terrace' at the Bus Shelter. When they get relegated or go bankrupt again (as they assuredly will sooner rather than later, please God) they'll be throwing themselves off that terrace by battalions.

Put a bed of nails on the ground just to make sure!

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[Deansy]

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Ah well will be looking over at the castle on the roof terrace whilst sipping champagne thinking how much of a mistake the stand is


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Yam Champagne - Buckfast ...................... but it will be chilled, though !

[Jack Hackett]

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Yam Champagne - Buckfast ...................... but it will bechilled, though !

Especially in January when it's pissing down

[lord bunberry]

I loved how the best view of the new stand he could find was from 200 yards down the road.

[Iain G]

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Wrong. It's a "roof bar and terrace"

I think its the Hoof Bar and Terrace so you can watch the ball whizz past before Lafferty fails to control it and gives away a goal kick...

[SirDavidsNapper]

It shows where the Hearts owners see their club going forward. It clearly isn't participating in European competition.

[GreenCastle]

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they can't even get out of the group stages of the scottish league cup

That's brilliant! Don't forget the including 3 part time teams bit too..

Peterhead
Elgin
East Fife

Are the Pars full time ??!

[jacomo]

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The giveaway is the lack of 'Spell-check' and the appalling grammar used in Budgie's announcements !

That is a belter.

[degenerated]

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Their new stand is purpose built, it's also a monstrosity to look at, is already hilariously bad, and makes an already minging stadium in an absolute hovel somehow look worse.

Add in to that the fact that the inhabitants will have to watch Levein-brand hoofball and you start to realise why the Yams are so utterly depressed about everything these days.

To be fair, most things are purpose built. I've worked in construction for 25 years and never once have I seen something built by accident

[Hibbyradge]

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I think its the Hoof Bar and Terrace so you can watch the ball whizz past before Lafferty fails to control it and gives away a goal kick...

Would I be right in thinking that it won't even be able to see that happening?

[Keith_M]

It's not nice to mock the afflicted

[Iain G]

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Would I be right in thinking that it won't even be able to see that happening?

Probably, though I hear it will have to designated a Safe Standing Rooftop Terrace by UEFA as someone forgot to order the bar stools...

[Hibbyradge]

The Westfield Shopping Centre in Shepherd's Bush was nominated as London's ugliest building. And that was in 2009!

[brog]

Well that was fun while it lasted! I actually thought it was the welcome return of Sydney for a while. His persistent use of "yous" & his incredibly clever 717 user name was leading me in that direction but unfortunately he never promised to send a letter to RIBA commending Yams for an innovative ( no seats ) stand!

[wallmack]

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I always find it amusing how they quote their pitch dimensions in yards to give the impression it's far bigger than it actually is. Crazy.

Yam yards

[greenginger]

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Well that was fun while it lasted! I actually thought it was the welcome return of Sydney for a while. His persistent use of "yous" & his incredibly clever 717 user name was leading me in that direction but unfortunately he never promised to send a letter to RIBA commending Yams for an innovative ( no seats ) stand!

Sorry if I'm slow, but don't get the 717 bit.

I did think his Fuzzy name was hiding his real identity.


https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fo...TFoHCCenHnsyM:

[--------]

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Sorry if I'm slow, but don't get the 717 bit.

I did think his Fuzzy name was hiding his real identity.


https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fo...TFoHCCenHnsyM:

Apparently it's to do with 7+1+7 = 15, which signifies 1-5, the score that ended Hibs' existence as a football club back in 2012.

The only reason the Yams managed to work out the arithmetic is that most of them have seven fingers on each hand.

Or perhaps one of them has a secret agent's decoder ring from a long-gone box of breakfast cereal that worked it out for him ...

[Firestarter]

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I enjoyed my run while it lasted.

[Hibby Kay-Yay]

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Sorry if I'm slow, but don't get the 717 bit.

I did think his Fuzzy name was hiding his real identity.


https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fo...TFoHCCenHnsyM:

Wait...Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman??!!

[Callum7]

I notice that hearts are selling ST in the away end. Does this mean that we will only get half of the stand?

[The_Todd]

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I notice that hearts are selling ST in the away end. Does this mean that we will only get half of the stand?

I'll assume those STs don't cater for Category A matches. I'm sure we used to do something similar with STs in our South? (Maybe I'm imagining this)

[Geo_1875]

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Apparently it's to do with 7+1+7 = 15, which signifies 1-5, the score that ended Hibs' existence as a football club back in 2012.

The only reason the Yams managed to work out the arithmetic is that most of them have seven fingers on each hand.

Or perhaps one of them has a secret agent's decoder ring from a long-gone box of breakfast cereal that worked it out for him ...

How contrived is that?

Are we not allowed to enjoy a 69 any more?