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  1. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by Danderhall Hibs View Post
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    I know but I'd still find it difficult to write stuff like that down tbh.
    If its true......


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  3. #62
    Coaching Staff Ronniekirk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hermit Crab View Post
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    Whats the latest then Stuart?
    Shes told him to stop posting and stop being paranoid The Guys just a mate who she wants to go out with every Friday night for a drink and they might soon be work colleagues and its none of Stuarts business
    Woman's Prerogative Twos company three s a crowd




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  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronniekirk View Post
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    Shes told him to stop posting and stop being paranoid The Guys just a mate who she wants to go out with every Friday night for a drink and they might soon be work colleagues and its none of Stuarts business
    Woman's Prerogative Twos company three s a crowd




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    hmmm...how many future workmates do people go to meet secretly (making up stories instead) on a Sunday? from what we have read on here the guy has a lot to be paranoid about

  5. #64
    Coaching Staff Ronniekirk's Avatar
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    Spouse behaviour. Opinions wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by bigwheel View Post
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    hmmm...how many future workmates do people go to meet secretly (making up stories instead) on a Sunday? from what we have read on here the guy has a lot to be paranoid about
    It was a bit tongue in cheek Think the O P will now want privacy


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  6. #65
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColinNish View Post
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    If its true......
    Yep, the OP could quite easily be some erky having a big laugh to himself.

  7. #66
    @hibs.net private member Jim44's Avatar
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    I was going to say it's none of my business but, as it's on a public forum, I suppose it's open for comment. Personally, if the story is true, I think the wife needs a big metaphorical kick up the backside.

  8. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronniekirk View Post
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    It was a bit tongue in cheek Think the O P will now want privacy


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  9. #68
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    What did Magnum PI report re Friday evenings rendezvous?

  10. #69
    Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


    Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
    Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

    It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

    It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.

  11. #70
    @hibs.net private member Hermit Crab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


    Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
    Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

    It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

    It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.

    Take your time mate. We are a patient lot snd won't criticise your decisions.

  12. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


    Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
    Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

    It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

    It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.
    As long as, when the dust has settled, you can be happy, that's all that matters.

    Good luck.

  13. #72
    Best thread in history imo

  14. #73
    Coaching Staff Ronniekirk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by My_Wife_Camille View Post
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    Best thread in history imo
    The Dug Out should start a Spouse Advice Thread given the interest in this one


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  15. #74
    @hibs.net private member Billy Whizz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by My_Wife_Camille View Post
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    Best thread in history imo
    The lads really brave to post like this on here.
    Hope he/they get a satisfactory resolution

  16. #75
    I've just read through the thread.
    Yes it's true. Whilst the events are told from my perspective it's not a work of fiction.

  17. #76
    This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

    We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

    I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

    I'm not even a close second.

    Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

    We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

    Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

    Its all real!!

    The end
    Last edited by stuart-farquhar; 12-06-2017 at 10:34 PM.

  18. #77
    @hibs.net private member Speedy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

    We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

    I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

    I'm not even a close second.

    Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

    We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

    Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

    Its all real!!

    The end
    Get out asap for your own sake. It sounds like she's already moved on, perhaps not physically yet but she's certainly wanting to and has stunned you into agreeing.

    There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.

  19. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
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    Get out asap for your own sake. It sounds like she's already moved on, perhaps not physically yet but she's certainly wanting to and has stunned you into agreeing.

    There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.


    Probably best to move on as quickly as you can, imho.

    Stick in mate, must be tough to take.
    http://hibscomebackison.blogspot.co.uk/ - Read my blog "So A Season Starts.. " - Updated TODAY 03/08/15

  20. #79
    @hibs.net private member Hermit Crab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

    We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

    I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

    I'm not even a close second.

    Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

    We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

    Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

    Its all real!!

    The end
    Sorry to read that mate. As the others say get out now while you still can and get out there and have a good time. You don't have stick to her terms matey.

  21. #80
    @hibs.net private member EH6 Hibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

    We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

    I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

    I'm not even a close second.

    Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

    We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

    Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

    Its all real!!

    The end
    Is there any particular reason you have decided to stay together?

    It's clear that for her, the relationship is over. Just sounds like you're prolonging the agony by not making a clean break.

  22. #81
    Testimonial Due Dinkydoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

    We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

    I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

    I'm not even a close second.

    Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

    We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

    Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

    Its all real!!

    The end
    This is not going to end well for you.

    She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

    Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.

  23. #82
    @hibs.net private member easty's Avatar
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    You should move out. Soon. Or get her to move out, but either way it's going to do you no good at all to live together while you live separate lives.

    Whether she's met someone new, or not, or is willing to tell you about it, or keeping it a secret...it's fairly obvious she's got someone else on her mind. It'll just hurt you more to stick around and be there while she meets someone else right in front of you.

  24. #83
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    Sore one mate. Hope you are doing alright.

    Assuming you've got the finances and no young kids get yourself out and get a flat to yourself.

    She has left you but doesn't have the guts to move out. Presumably because she doesn't want to look bad or because she wants the house. That's no life for you walking around on eggshells. You deserve happiness and you should go out and get it. If you don't you will spend your time trying to convince yourself it isn't over and that's why she hasn't left the house.

    Guaranteed if you tried a new relationship whilst living together she would be fizzing. She wants to do whatever she wants but know she's got you to fall back on.

    Tough. She's burnt that bridge. Keep a clear head, keep away from the booze for a bit and get your mates around you.

    Failing that hibs.net is here for you.

  25. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuart-farquhar View Post
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    We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple.
    Why does she want to appear to be a couple? So it doesn't reflect poorly on her choices up to now and so that it doesn't reflect badly on her at work.

    Massively selfish behaviour from someone who has been hugely selfish for many years in denying you true happiness.

    It'll be tough to do, but you need to be brave enough to front up, end it and get out the house.

  26. #85
    @hibs.net private member Billy Whizz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceinawhile View Post
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    Why does she want to appear to be a couple? So it doesn't reflect poorly on her choices up to now and so that it doesn't reflect badly on her at work.

    Massively selfish behaviour from someone who has been hugely selfish for many years in denying you true happiness.

    It'll be tough to do, but you need to be brave enough to front up, end it and get out the house.
    Maybe if there's some kids involved, doesn't say

  27. #86
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dinkydoo View Post
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    This is not going to end well for you.

    She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

    Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.
    I concur, good luck mate.

  28. #87
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Whizz View Post
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    Maybe if there's some kids involved, doesn't say
    As I said earlier in the thread that would certainly complicate things a tad. The worst thing he can do is nowt IMHO.

  29. #88
    Given you have been together 35 years I'm guessing there are no really young kids about so get out now.

    Lifes too short to be in a relationship that makes you miserable, even more so if it's just for the other party to keep up a pretence.

    I know it's easier said than done but you have to make the tough decision. A mate of mine left a 15 year relationship 2 years ago after his wife confessed to seeing someone else. He joined a gym, got his own place, kick started his social life and eventually got on Match, Tinder etc. He's now seeing a really nice lady and is back enjoying a social life with his mates and looks 10 years younger. His ex begged him to come back as her 'new' relationship fell apart and she was jealous of him enjoying himself , he thought about it for all of 2 minutes then told her to bolt.
    I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women,. Suddenly, uncritically giving no thought to the pain it could bring. - Nick Hornby

  30. #89
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Given you have been together 35 years I'm guessing there are no really young kids about so get out now.

    Lifes too short to be in a relationship that makes you miserable, even more so if it's just for the other party to keep up a pretence.

    I know it's easier said than done but you have to make the tough decision. A mate of mine left a 15 year relationship 2 years ago after his wife confessed to seeing someone else. He joined a gym, got his own place, kick started his social life and eventually got on Match, Tinder etc. He's now seeing a really nice lady and is back enjoying a social life with his mates and looks 10 years younger. His ex begged him to come back as her 'new' relationship fell apart and she was jealous of him enjoying himself , he thought about it for all of 2 minutes then told her to bolt.
    I would agree with this. Life is too short, but it's never too late for you to find real happiness again with someone that treats you with the respect you deserve.
    [SIGPIC]

  31. #90
    Quote Originally Posted by Dinkydoo View Post
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    This is not going to end well for you.

    She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

    Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.


    All the best. Tough time ahead in the short-term, but at least you know where you stand and can feel more free to act. Do what's right for you, doesn't sound like you owe her anything!

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