I think you either know or you don't. I think from your replies, deep down you already know what's going on.
Even if there is nothing I think you now will suspect things. She's broken your trust.
I wish you luck.
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Results 31 to 60 of 168
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06-06-2017 07:48 PM #31
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06-06-2017 07:56 PM #32
Tremendous thread. I pop on for latest re Stokes or restaurant review and I find this.
.net soap opera....friends with benefits...casual sex references. You won't get this on Pie and Bovril.
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06-06-2017 08:32 PM #33
It doesn't sound good to me. I think you know what you need to do.
A word of encouragement - I was in a relationship with someone a long time ago who I was mad about, we'd met when we were students. We'd been together for 5 years and had lived together for the last year. She was always a party girl and throughout our relationship she'd stayed out all night from time to time (we were young so that in itself wasn't that unusual, and let's face it, I was guilty of doing similar from time to time too).
It had happened quite a lot throughout the time we lived together and started to happen more often over the past few months after she had started a new job. There was a lot of the stuff you mentioned - staying late, going for drinks, evasive behaviour. It turned out she had met someone else, who she ultimately left me for. At least it wasn't a wee fling, she married the guy and has kids to him.
Anyhow, it was a relationship marred by trust issues on both sides and it was never really right, although it was fun for 2 carefree students early on. It wasn't really right as we got older and supposedly more serious. I hated the feeling you refer to - the kicking about at home wondering what they were up to, and ultimately I think that my worst thoughts were normally not far off the mark.
Anyhow, we split up and a bit later I met someone else. We've been together nearly 10 years and my new partner is fantastic. I trust her 100% and she has never done the things my ex used to do. Sometimes you just know that a relationship is right and that the person wouldn't lie or cheat, and that you wouldn't betray them by doing anything similar. She used to be a musician, so when someone is on the road for months at a time in a van with 5 guys you need to have pretty solid trust and tbh I've never even come close to doubting her.
That is what is out there for you my friend. Don't tolerate someone making you feel like this. As painful and grim as the short term might be, there is an entire world full of wonderful women who wouldn't do this to you. It can seem hard and daunting finding one, but find one you will.
I had grown to accept unacceptable behaviour. If indeed there is something going on and you are not ok with it, don't feel like you have to tolerate it.
All the best.
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06-06-2017 08:54 PM #35
In response to the OP, and I feel bad about this, BUT ...
If your relationship gets to the stage where you think your other half is out with someone else, based on the lies she's telling you (or you think she's telling you) then there's a fair chance the relationship is doomed - you need to get a definitive answer now. No point faffing about and torturing yourself.
Good luck.Last edited by Mr White; 06-06-2017 at 09:10 PM.
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06-06-2017 09:02 PM #36
Even if she isn't having an affair , she doesn't sound like she is considering your feelings.
We are only getting one side of the story though ....No Eternal Reward Shall Forgive Us Now For Wasting The Dawn
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07-06-2017 07:59 PM #37
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You might be worried but you can't go stalking her. That will make matters worse. It will either push her away or reinforce her belief that she needs to get away.
There's no right thing to do, but keep the head and don't do anything you shouldn't.
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08-06-2017 12:51 AM #38This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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08-06-2017 05:57 AM #39
Some women prepare themselves for exiting a long term relationship months before it actually happens. Building up a support network, lining up a new guy and emotionally distancing themself from their partner can all be part of that. Maybe men do it too but I haven't ever dated any so I can only call on my own past experiences.
My take on it is that your wife is doing exactly that. She thinks that the relationship is probably over and is going through the process of getting over you before actually splitting up. Objectively, the psychology of it all is quite interesting - and selfish. Sorry.
The positive thing is that she hasn't left yet. Don't start stalking her, you have a lot of valid concerns and to be frank, she isn't considering your feelings at all in this. You need to have the 'talk'. Now. Tell her how you feel and ask her if she wants to try to fix the relationship and state how committed you are to making this work. That's all you can do at this stage.
Good luck.
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08-06-2017 09:29 AM #40This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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08-06-2017 10:43 AM #41
The signs all point to her doing the dirty but you can't be 100% with conclusive evidence.
Do you know the guys name?
Does he have Facebook/Twitter that could maybe give you some clues?
Whats the name of the pub that they frequent every Friday?
Is it close to his gaff, or in town etc?
Maybe some of the cooler heads on here could do some surveillance for you, that way you don't have to be near them and possibly get spotted, then the games up and it could makes things 10x worse with a public confrontation?
A private investigator is an option, I've always fancied myself as a Magnum type.
Seriously though I hope you get things sorted as I know the feelings you are referring too and its not nice at all. If you can prove it you'll get her on infidelity and get a divorce within 2 years and take her for everything which, if I'm honest serves her right for doing the dirty.
Please keep updating as this is really intriguing and fair play to you for posting about this. It must have taken balls mate.Last edited by Hermit Crab; 08-06-2017 at 10:47 AM.
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08-06-2017 12:30 PM #42
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08-06-2017 01:40 PM #43This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show QuoteThis quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Not sure about "taking her for everything" though. Broadly speaking, the conduct of the parties to the marriage is irrelevant to the division of assets.
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08-06-2017 02:25 PM #44
Who's up for a bit of good old snooping then? Hibs.net private detective agency anyone?
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08-06-2017 03:01 PM #45This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show QuoteFollow the Hibs podcast, Longbangers, on Twitter (@longbangers)
https://longbangers.hubwave.net
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08-06-2017 03:27 PM #46
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08-06-2017 03:28 PM #47
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08-06-2017 04:20 PM #48This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
I'll sit in the boozer they go to with a few cold ones. We could really help this boy out
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08-06-2017 04:39 PM #49
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08-06-2017 05:50 PM #50This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
We're all seasoned campaigners in the art of booing
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08-06-2017 05:52 PM #51This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
United we stand here....
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09-06-2017 11:39 AM #52This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Anything to help a fellow Hibby out!Follow the Hibs podcast, Longbangers, on Twitter (@longbangers)
https://longbangers.hubwave.net
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09-06-2017 01:35 PM #53This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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09-06-2017 03:09 PM #56This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Time to buy her a one way train ticket.
Location: Dumpsville.
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09-06-2017 04:21 PM #57This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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09-06-2017 07:03 PM #58
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I'm happy to give her a bit chat to see how easily she's willing to fall into bed? Could do the newspaper thing as well?
Edit - btw sorry for making light of this. As Hermit said earlier it must've taken some balls to post this. Good luck to you mate.
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09-06-2017 09:05 PM #59
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This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote"You opened the box....and your soul belongs to me...."
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10-06-2017 06:28 AM #60
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