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10-06-2017 08:18 AM #61
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10-06-2017 08:42 AM #62This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Woman's Prerogative Twos company three s a crowd
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10-06-2017 09:29 AM #63
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hmmm...how many future workmates do people go to meet secretly (making up stories instead) on a Sunday? from what we have read on here the guy has a lot to be paranoid about
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10-06-2017 09:47 AM #64
Spouse behaviour. Opinions wanted
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10-06-2017 10:25 AM #65This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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10-06-2017 10:39 AM #66
I was going to say it's none of my business but, as it's on a public forum, I suppose it's open for comment. Personally, if the story is true, I think the wife needs a big metaphorical kick up the backside.
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10-06-2017 11:06 AM #67
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11-06-2017 11:18 PM #69
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Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.
Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.
It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement
It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.
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12-06-2017 08:38 AM #70This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Take your time mate. We are a patient lot snd won't criticise your decisions.
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12-06-2017 01:52 PM #71This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Good luck.
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12-06-2017 05:48 PM #73This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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12-06-2017 06:43 PM #74This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Hope he/they get a satisfactory resolution
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12-06-2017 09:09 PM #75
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I've just read through the thread.
Yes it's true. Whilst the events are told from my perspective it's not a work of fiction.
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12-06-2017 09:27 PM #76
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This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.
We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.
I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.
I'm not even a close second.
Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!
We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.
We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.
Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.
Its all real!!
The endLast edited by stuart-farquhar; 12-06-2017 at 09:34 PM.
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12-06-2017 09:45 PM #77This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.
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12-06-2017 10:09 PM #78This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Probably best to move on as quickly as you can, imho.
Stick in mate, must be tough to take.Follow the Hibs podcast, Longbangers, on Twitter (@longbangers)
https://longbangers.hubwave.net
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12-06-2017 10:41 PM #79This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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13-06-2017 12:51 AM #80This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
It's clear that for her, the relationship is over. Just sounds like you're prolonging the agony by not making a clean break.
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13-06-2017 05:50 AM #81This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.
Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.
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13-06-2017 06:57 AM #82
You should move out. Soon. Or get her to move out, but either way it's going to do you no good at all to live together while you live separate lives.
Whether she's met someone new, or not, or is willing to tell you about it, or keeping it a secret...it's fairly obvious she's got someone else on her mind. It'll just hurt you more to stick around and be there while she meets someone else right in front of you.
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13-06-2017 09:11 AM #83
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Sore one mate. Hope you are doing alright.
Assuming you've got the finances and no young kids get yourself out and get a flat to yourself.
She has left you but doesn't have the guts to move out. Presumably because she doesn't want to look bad or because she wants the house. That's no life for you walking around on eggshells. You deserve happiness and you should go out and get it. If you don't you will spend your time trying to convince yourself it isn't over and that's why she hasn't left the house.
Guaranteed if you tried a new relationship whilst living together she would be fizzing. She wants to do whatever she wants but know she's got you to fall back on.
Tough. She's burnt that bridge. Keep a clear head, keep away from the booze for a bit and get your mates around you.
Failing that hibs.net is here for you.
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13-06-2017 09:15 AM #84
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Massively selfish behaviour from someone who has been hugely selfish for many years in denying you true happiness.
It'll be tough to do, but you need to be brave enough to front up, end it and get out the house.
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13-06-2017 09:41 AM #85This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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13-06-2017 09:43 AM #86This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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13-06-2017 09:46 AM #87This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
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13-06-2017 09:58 AM #88
Given you have been together 35 years I'm guessing there are no really young kids about so get out now.
Lifes too short to be in a relationship that makes you miserable, even more so if it's just for the other party to keep up a pretence.
I know it's easier said than done but you have to make the tough decision. A mate of mine left a 15 year relationship 2 years ago after his wife confessed to seeing someone else. He joined a gym, got his own place, kick started his social life and eventually got on Match, Tinder etc. He's now seeing a really nice lady and is back enjoying a social life with his mates and looks 10 years younger. His ex begged him to come back as her 'new' relationship fell apart and she was jealous of him enjoying himself , he thought about it for all of 2 minutes then told her to bolt.PM Awards General Poster of The Year 2015, 2016, 2017. Probably robbed in other years
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13-06-2017 11:10 AM #89This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
United we stand here....
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13-06-2017 11:41 AM #90
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All the best. Tough time ahead in the short-term, but at least you know where you stand and can feel more free to act. Do what's right for you, doesn't sound like you owe her anything!
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