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  1. #1
    @hibs.net private member andy1875's Avatar
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    Rio Ferdinand - Being Mum and Dad

    Programme just started on BBC1. Powerful opening.

    He comes across as a top bloke.


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  3. #2
    @hibs.net private member Lancs Harp's Avatar
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    He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.

  4. #3
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    Its heart breaking stuff, that many folk go through. Lets hope anyone in this situation watching this gains some help from Rio's story and the programme?

  5. #4
    @hibs.net private member Biggie's Avatar
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    Not sure what to make of this......seems a top bloke, but if he really cheated on his wife 10 plus times ?!....I just don't know.
    "I don't have any regrets about not moving during my playing career. I was born a Hibee, my dad was a Hibee, I will stay a Hibee and I'll die a Hibee." -Lawrie Reilly

  6. #5
    @hibs.net private member andy1875's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lancs Harp View Post
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    He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.
    Quote Originally Posted by Biggie View Post
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    Not sure what to make of this......seems a top bloke, but if he really cheated on his wife 10 plus times ?!....I just don't know.
    I didnt know that but we all do things in life we wish we hadn't eh and dare I say it, if he did cheat, im sure that will form a part of the grieving process when he looks back and maybe regrets things.

    Nevertheless Ive always thought he comes across well. Brutal also for the kids.

    Like many others around the world who suffer, cancer is a horrible horrible thing and heres to the day we cure it.

  7. #6
    @hibs.net private member Biggie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andy1875 View Post
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    I didnt know that but we all do things in life we wish we hadn't eh and dare I say it, if he did cheat, im sure that will form a part of the grieving process when he looks back and maybe regrets things.

    Nevertheless Ive always thought he comes across well. Brutal also for the kids.

    Like many others around the world who suffer, cancer is a horrible horrible thing and heres to the day we cure it.
    Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
    Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.
    "I don't have any regrets about not moving during my playing career. I was born a Hibee, my dad was a Hibee, I will stay a Hibee and I'll die a Hibee." -Lawrie Reilly

  8. #7
    @hibs.net private member Lancs Harp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggie View Post
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    Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
    Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.
    Amen to that fella. Cost me my Mum.

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggie View Post
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    Amen mate......I'd hate to be judged on my mistakes. Let's leave it as a guy who lost and loved his wife, and is now doing it for his kids.
    Agree, cancer is an unforgiving illlness.
    He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.

  10. #9
    First Team Regular 18Hibee75's Avatar
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    I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

    I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

    Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

    Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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  11. #10
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgiegreens View Post
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    He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.
    Of course he could have loved her, but yes, he will be riddled with guilt.
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    Not our place to judge. The guy is doing his best for the sake of his kids. I lost my wife to cancer at the age of 55, but this poor lady was only in her 30s. Absolutely heart-breaking. I wish Rio and his family all the luck in the world as they attempt to carry on without the most important person in their lives.

  13. #12
    @hibs.net private member Lancs Harp's Avatar
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    The programme obviously brings up issues for society and how society deals or should deal with these issues. That is the main thing here for me, not Rio as an individual who I have sympathy for on some levels while recognising on other levels he has been no angel.

  14. #13
    @hibs.net private member andy1875's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 18Hibee75 View Post
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    I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

    I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

    Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

    Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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    Good post mate. Respect to you and your kids, I cant even begin to imagine what youve gone through as a husband/father of 3 daughters myself.

  15. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by gorgiegreens View Post
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    He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.
    Numerous times.

  16. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by 18Hibee75 View Post
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    I have experienced the same situation as Rio and it is by far the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me. I have two kids who I have raised since they were four and two respectively, trying to explain what has happened to them is so so unbelievably difficult.

    I always thought stuff like this would never happen to me and that I would always read about it happening. Watching the documentary and being able to relate to Rio is massive for me, like him, I still haven't properly grieved and it's been almost eight years!

    Watching this programme it shows us that as men it is OK to cry and it is OK to feel upset when we always have the perception that we have to always be strong no matter what.

    Funnily enough Hibs have helped me get through it and no more than the 21.05.16 when I could get some hampden grass and put it on her grave as she said she would never witness us win a Scottish cup in our life! I know he cheated on his wife and made mistakes, but he's human and we all make mistakes. Trust me, having gone through this first hand it is not easy, especially when bairns are involved.

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    wow
    thanks for sharing your story and here's hoping hibs continue to help you

  17. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by gorgiegreens View Post
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    He couldn't have loved her if he done the dirty on her. Riddled with guilt.
    You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

    I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.
    PM Awards General Poster of The Year 2015, 2016, 2017. Probably robbed in other years

  18. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

    I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.
    Sorry.
    But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.

  19. #18
    @hibs.net private member Northernhibee's Avatar
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    What horrible, classless comments on this thread.


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  20. #19
    Coaching Staff lyonhibs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    You just love going about the forum throwing a grenade in then laughing at the aftermath eh?

    I gave you the benefit of the doubt on the Ricksen thread but it's quite sad you get your kicks from trolling people on the subjects of illness and death.
    Depending on how you view infidelity, he's right.

    Not IMO mind. Cancer's a **** and what hell Rio's been through most of us happily can't imagine. I missed the programme but will try and catch it somewhere.

    He clearly made mistakes in his relationship that I'm sure he's paying for now but far be it from me to judge.

  21. #20
    @hibs.net private member lapsedhibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northernhibee View Post
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    What horrible, classless comments on this thread.
    Depends. Personally, I much prefer to read background information that I didn't know about footballers than the tiresome virtue-signalling which so often follows it.

  22. #21
    @hibs.net private member Greenworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgiegreens View Post
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    Sorry.
    But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.
    I going to guess you have no kids? Regardless of what's happened he is trying to be the best mum and dad he can now.
    Totally ridiculous to be going on about his past.


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  23. #22
    Coaching Staff hibsbollah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lancs Harp View Post
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    He's been to hell and back and I feel for him, however he was hardly husband of the year, just google him cheating on his wife.
    The point of the programme isn't whether or not he was 'Husband of the Year', it was raising awareness of losing someone close to you. Which he did very well.

  24. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by gorgiegreens View Post
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    Sorry.
    But it wasn't me who brought it up about him cheating on his wife, on several occasions. Do it once is possibly a mistake. Wouldn't have been thinking about his family when he was billy big bawz.
    Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

    As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

    I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

  25. #24
    @hibs.net private member Jim44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

    As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

    I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

  26. #25
    @hibs.net private member BSEJVT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

    As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

    I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.
    Bang on

    I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

    Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

    The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

    If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

    Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

  27. #26
    Coaching Staff hibsbollah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BSEJVT View Post
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    Bang on

    I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

    Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

    The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

    If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

    Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

    Theres a lot of fora I've just given up on recently. The Internet has become a place where its easy to have a debate but harder and harder to have a good one. The question is, how do you ensure the Internet becomes free of trolling and bullying while still keep it open for a wide range of views and good fun infantile stupidity?

  28. #27
    @hibs.net private member Lancs Harp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hibsbollah View Post
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    The point of the programme isn't whether or not he was 'Husband of the Year', it was raising awareness of losing someone close to you. Which he did very well.
    Indeed, as I pointed out in my 10.19 post.

  29. #28
    @hibs.net private member stantonhibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BSEJVT View Post
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    Bang on

    I think the advent of the internet has given the mean spirited out there a platform to air their views that pre-internet society denied them, because frankly no-one would listen to them.

    Some of the comments on some of the threads recently have been in extremely poor taste and akin to the Glenn Hoddle karma pish of a few years ago.

    The minute you have said or done something it has happened all you can try to do is atone for these past mistakes, but folk take great delight in casting these things up instead of letting those that want to reform and get on with the rest of their lives.

    If we don't offer people the chance of redemption, what incentive is for them to try and live better lives and contribute whether to family or society.

    Even on Hibs Net it is becoming increasingly difficult to debate points civilly with some posters.

  30. #29
    @hibs.net private member stantonhibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Sorry but this is just pure speculation on your part. You have no idea what anyone else was or wasn't thinking at any given time.

    As has been pointed out elsewhere on the thread the documentary wasn't about whether Rio Ferdinand was a brilliant husband or even a brilliant Dad prior to his partners death. It was about the aftermath of such a terrible event and how he has coped with both his grief and also how he has dealt with having to be both parents to his kids. It's a situation thousands of me go through but it is rare to hear it spoken about.

    I can't understand someone being so mean spirited or seeing the world in such a black and white way that they would rather condemn a grieving man for his past actions rather than see the positive in what he has done by opening up publicly.

  31. #30
    @hibs.net private member J-C's Avatar
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    I can't believe anyone would mention cheating or anything like that about this programme, I'm watching this right now and finding it hard not to cry with the man. Past events have nothing to do with what he's going through right now, he obviously loved his wife and she was taken from him and their 3 kids, the programme is about coping with the loss of a partner and a mother and having to deal with all that comes with it, the newspaper reports were all allegations, nothing was proven.

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