Depression and anxiety

[MSK]

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Lisa. Depression is horrible. I suffer with Bi-Polar disorder and have done for many years. I do get the highs occasionally however it's the crashing lows that really affect me. You will hear "give yourself a shake", and other ignorant advice. NEVER be afraid to ask for help from people you trust, friends, family or even your GP. I have to agree with One day soon and CWG that even using this thread to vent or speak to people who understand would in my opinion be a great support. As i said I have and still go through bad days but I have, in time, used things that work for me to get me through these days. This thread, without doubt is the most important on the whole forum and I think should be used as a sounding board as others have suggested. Say what you want on it. You will NOT be judged.......

Good post ..

[Hibee_Lisa]

Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

[MSK]

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Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

Its a start Lisa, and good on you for taking the courage to share on here ...as mentioned there are like minded people who have experienced and shared various degrees of depression, anxiety, bi-polar & personality disorders on here. Its also good to read that a few have come through the "other end" sometimes through lifestyle changes, therapies or controlled medication, or possibly by following some good advice or links given on this thread.

Stick in there, its a sometimes long & bumpy road but you will get to the other end ..we are all with you ..

[Mikey09]

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Posting quite personal matters on a forum is new to me, but I agree that venting to people who have no clue who you are helps!

I attended an emergency appointment at my gps last weeks and saw a doctor who I had not dealt with before, I was quite anxious on the bus journey there but he was quite refreshing, mid way through the conversation I explained I had never really been given a diagnoses, my normal gp had previously written depression on my sicklines then I'm sure a psychiatrist at Cambridge street told me otherwise. Anyway he explained I had been given two disgnosis one depression and the other borderline personality disorder which previous people had failed to mention to me. He prescribed chlorpromazine along side my normal serteline but warned it was only like a paster and would be a short term fix to stop me feeling so low.

Lisa's life story haha!

i went through a period of speaking to my GP who prescribed firstly seroxat, which made things worse for me. It wasn't until I was properly diagnosed with bipolar that I eventually got the right help from a specialist who put me on Quetiapine whilst working with the psychiatric nurse doing things like Cognitive behavioral therapy, looking at structuring my life, diet, exercise etc. The most important part of your post for me is you saying you have a diagnosis now. That is fantastic. Please work with whoever you have been referred to. You CAN live a full, happy life with mental illness if you are focused on doing so. One of the things that really helped me was exercise. Google it and find out more about how exercise helps with depression. It may be a small thing but it's a huge help for recovery and staying well. Hope you are getting there.......

[CropleyWasGod]

Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

[Hibee_Lisa]

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Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

Not personally although my mum had a course of it quite a few years ago.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Not personally although my mum had a course of it quite a few years ago.

Was that for depression?

Don't want to pry (PM me if you prefer), but I'm interested in what her experience was.

[Mikey09]

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Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

ECT was something discussed with my psychiatrist and after talking with my wife I turned it down as the answers to the questions we asked were vague to say the least. Thing that worried me the most was there didn't seem to be much control of the outcome of it. I'm sure it has worked for some people but at the time it wasn't for me. Not much help CWG, sorry. One thing I will say is I watched a fascinating documentary on Netflix last night called Neurons to Nirvana; Understanding psychedelic medicines. Really worth a watch.....

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Does anyone have any experience of Electro Convulsive therapy?

Evidence is split down the middle about its efficacy. The process itself happens under a general anaesthetic these days and involves inducing a mild epileptic fit.

TV still plays it up as a horrible torture.

Anybody thinking of having it should be aware of the strong chance of cognition being impaired after it.

[Phil D. Rolls]

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i went through a period of speaking to my GP who prescribed firstly seroxat, which made things worse for me. It wasn't until I was properly diagnosed with bipolar that I eventually got the right help from a specialist who put me on Quetiapine whilst working with the psychiatric nurse doing things like Cognitive behavioral therapy, looking at structuring my life, diet, exercise etc. The most important part of your post for me is you saying you have a diagnosis now. That is fantastic. Please work with whoever you have been referred to. You CAN live a full, happy life with mental illness if you are focused on doing so. One of the things that really helped me was exercise. Google it and find out more about how exercise helps with depression. It may be a small thing but it's a huge help for recovery and staying well. Hope you are getting there.......

An inspiring post! I went to see Lady Gaga recently, and she was saying much the same thing. Don't give in, use your special gift to your advantage - and never listen to those who will try to stop you living your life to the full.

[Hibee_Lisa]

This may be quite a stupid question but does anyone know what the difference is between attending the community mental health team at Cambridge street or being referred to the Royal Edinburgh, I was under the impression they both had the same type of multidisciplinary teams to deal with things?

[Mikey09]

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This may be quite a stupid question but does anyone know what the difference is between attending the community mental health team at Cambridge street or being referred to the Royal Edinburgh, I was under the impression they both had the same type of multidisciplinary teams to deal with things?

I was referred to the Hermand Flat in Haddington and was seen by a top consultant there who then put in place my recovery programme with the psychiatric nurses having regular follow up meetings with him. They were fantastic. I can't speak highly enough of them. I was at rock bottom and would have done ANYTHING to feel better. I know this doesn't answer your question Lisa but what I'm saying is the help is out there if you're willing to use it. I will be honest though... I certainly know in my case, and probably many others, it's an ongoing thing. I take everything one day at a time, as it gets me through. I can't stress enough how important structure, healthy diet, proper sleep and exercise has been in my recovery to date. But the biggest thing for myself has been talking about it. Doing this with someone I trusted was a huge help to me. Anyway I'm rambling now..... Hope you get the help you need and deserve.....

[One Day Soon]

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I was referred to the Hermand Flat in Haddington and was seen by a top consultant there who then put in place my recovery programme with the psychiatric nurses having regular follow up meetings with him. They were fantastic. I can't speak highly enough of them. I was at rock bottom and would have done ANYTHING to feel better. I know this doesn't answer your question Lisa but what I'm saying is the help is out there if you're willing to use it. I will be honest though... I certainly know in my case, and probably many others, it's an ongoing thing. I take everything one day at a time, as it gets me through. I can't stress enough how important structure, healthy diet, proper sleep and exercise has been in my recovery to date. But the biggest thing for myself has been talking about it. Doing this with someone I trusted was a huge help to me. Anyway I'm rambling now..... Hope you get the help you need and deserve.....

November is always grim - and I know that the neglected exercise, failure to eat regularly and poor sleep just unlocks the doors and invites the demons right in. It can be almost literally like having to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other.

Mikey, can you say more about the structure part?

[Mikey09]

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November is always grim - and I know that the neglected exercise, failure to eat regularly and poor sleep just unlocks the doors and invites the demons right in. It can be almost literally like having to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other.

Mikey, can you say more about the structure part?

Once on my feet, so to speak, I put a structured plan in place for my day to day life. However, my recovery took time even with this so I had to accept it takes small steps and not set myself unrealistic targets. Small things, realistic aims and goals.

- I would plan my day in writing, doing this the night before.

- However, as I said, I would be realistic, dividing these into primary and secondary aims and tasks.

- Don't just fill your day with duties.Make free time for something you enjoy.

- I would always start my day at the same time. Again, be realistic.

- Write down when to take any medication.

- Look forward to your day. Get up and begin your day in a good mood!! You have bound to have heard the shouts at Easter Road, "C'mon Hibs, let's start this game well and set the tone for a good performance!!" Although maybe not recently... But you know what I mean.

- Plan and prepare good, healthy food.

- Take half an hour for some form of exercise. Again, be realistic!! I climb North Berwick Law every day with my dog.


I personally do this day to day as it works for me. Some could plan it weekly, it's whatever works for YOU. Writing things down is a fantastic way of seeing your day laid out in front of you which, certainly for me, encouraged discipline and structure. It might not look much, and it's not rocket science but if you're struggling it may help..... Hope it does....

[Phil D. Rolls]

Never underestimate the impact of not going to the toilet regularly on your mood. It's something we laugh at as males, but there are established medical reasons why failure to "perform regular elimination" can bring you down physically and mentally.

When you need to pooh, messages go between your brain and bowels, in what is called a "feedback loop". Constipation causes this to overload, and it impacts on your "fight or flight" mechanism. This results in your brain telling itself it has something to frightened of - hence that feeling of anxiety where you can't put your finger (quiet at the back) on what is bothering you/

Another reason we need to poo regularly is that it cleanses the body of toxins. If you can't get them out of your body, they start to hang about your body, and that's not good for your state of mind either.

So before you go immersing yourself in Freud and Adler, it's worth looking a bit closer to home for the reason you feel sluggish, nauseus, and downright wabbit. Another reason to take your five a day, or Lactulose, Fybogel, Laxido etc.

[Stranraer]

This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

[CropleyWasGod]

[QUOTE= I would suggest that your issues are very relevant.

Life experiences, of whatever sort, have an impact on our mental health.

A counsellor, though, would be a good place to start in establishing what impact they have had on you :)

I noticed your post on the other thread. I hope it's not a wind up.

[Mr White]

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This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

FWIW I'm fairly certain that's not a wind - up. Maybe the op hasn't been online or had time to respond? He's never struck me as the type to do something vindictive tbh.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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This may not be entirely relevant but I did have struggles with my sexuality while at University. It was something I thought may disappear, or pass over after the assault but I answered the question about Gay football fans on the PM forum not knowing whether or not it was a wind up?

Abuse, depression and anxiety do strange things to the human minds. 600 mg of Seroquel at night has calmed me down but I think maybe a counsellor would be of some use?

What assault was this? If you don't mind me asking.

[Phil D. Rolls]

Wee bit of light relief:

I was watching the Simpsons and Ned Flanders had been sectioned. He starts throwing the books around in the Psychiatrist's office.

"Please don't do that Mr. Flanders", says the shrink, "half of those haven't been discredited yet".

Made me laugh.

[lord bunberry]

I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

[CropleyWasGod]

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I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

Hi Philip.

Some of what you say is very familiar and, dare I say it, common. The bits I've highlighted are particularly true about men. It's hard being a "man" these days, however you define it. It's even harder to "admit" that you're not the strong, infallible man that society says you should be.

What you have done, though, is taken a step. You say you can't share your issues, and that's not unusual; talking to close people can be very difficult. But you have shared it here, with strangers.

That's pretty damned positive.

One of the earliest comforts I had was realising that I'm not alone. That isn't a cure, but a recognition that there is a whole community that "gets it". You'd be surprised by how many of your mates and family have the same issues. Maybe try them?

Currently, in these dark nights, my biggest crutch is exercise. You're a taxi-driver, yeah? Like me, sitting down all day. Do you exercise much? If not, you might be surprised how much of a boost you can get. The hardest part, of course, is getting past that "canny be a'd" feeling.

This thread is full of brilliant mental-cases like you and I. We're all here to help.

[lord bunberry]

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Hi Philip.

Some of what you say is very familiar and, dare I say it, common. The bits I've highlighted are particularly true about men. It's hard being a "man" these days, however you define it. It's even harder to "admit" that you're not the strong, infallible man that society says you should be.

What you have done, though, is taken a step. You say you can't share your issues, and that's not unusual; talking to close people can be very difficult. But you have shared it here, with strangers.

That's pretty damned positive.

One of the earliest comforts I had was realising that I'm not alone. That isn't a cure, but a recognition that there is a whole community that "gets it". You'd be surprised by how many of your mates and family have the same issues. Maybe try them?

Currently, in these dark nights, my biggest crutch is exercise. You're a taxi-driver, yeah? Like me, sitting down all day. Do you exercise much? If not, you might be surprised how much of a boost you can get. The hardest part, of course, is getting past that "canny be a'd" feeling.

This thread is full of brilliant mental-cases like you and I. We're all here to help.

Thanks for your reply crops, I was really trying to go down the exercise route after reading this thread, and to start with I felt it was really helping. When I went to work(I work nights) I started to feel really tired and ended up finishing early, which had a detremental effect on what I was earning, which in turn effected my overall well being. I try to tell myself that I'm in a better positions than a lot of people and try to focus on the positive things in my life(of which there are many) but no matter how hard I try I still feel the same. I look at ,y daughter and give her the biggest hug you can imagine but I'm wondering if it's me who needs Her or vice versa.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Thanks for your reply crops, I was really trying to go down the exercise route after reading this thread, and to start with I felt it was really helping. When I went to work(I work nights) I started to feel really tired and ended up finishing early, which had a detremental effect on what I was earning, which in turn effected my overall well being. I try to tell myself that I'm in a better positions than a lot of people and try to focus on the positive things in my life(of which there are many) but no matter how hard I try I still feel the same. I look at ,y daughter and give her the biggest hug you can imagine but I'm wondering if it's me who needs Her or vice versa.

Both, mate

[lord bunberry]

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Both, mate

You're right as always mate. Thank you for listening

[Mikey09]

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I've read this thread with great interest since I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I find it really hard to talk about my problems with friends and family and for the most part try and pretend things are alright. Things aren't alright though and I feel so low and horrible and worthless most of the time. I'm on medication from my doctor who has been really great with me, but I have the tendency to say everything's going well when I speak to someone, when everything isn't ok. I work long hours and miss spending time with my family, I struggle to get out of bed every day and I hate myself for not being the perfect father and partner. I try my best to be a decent man and always consider other people's feelings when I'm going about my daily business. I thought that when I was diagnosed with depression it would be a case of getting some pills and it would go away, it hasn't been like that and I'm now at my wits end. Sorry for the rant but it really helps me getting things of my chest.
Thanks
Philip

An emotional post my friend. The one thing that sticks out for me in your post is you saying you work long hours and miss spending time with your family. This is something I addressed and it had a dramatic effect in my recovery. We all have to earn a living, but not at the expense of your happiness LB. You are a mirror image of myself..... I use banter, acting the clown and am always cracking jokes to mask how I really feel sometimes. I spoke to my wife, eventually and told her everything. She was brilliant. Speak to your family, or your doctor again. As CWG says, this isn't a cure. It's a case of finding ways of coping that work for you and your loved ones. Don't beat yourself up re not being a perfect father. Is there such a thing?? I don't think there is. Be the best you can. Being Bipolar isn't great for me, but am I gonna let it ruin my life?? Not a chance! I just have to do things a bit differently to others. You can control this with help and structure to your life. I have found what works for me. You can do the same Phillip....... Stick in ma friend.

[lord bunberry]

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An emotional post my friend. The one thing that sticks out for me in your post is you saying you work long hours and miss spending time with your family. This is something I addressed and it had a dramatic effect in my recovery. We all have to earn a living, but not at the expense of your happiness LB. You are a mirror image of myself..... I use banter, acting the clown and am always cracking jokes to mask how I really feel sometimes. I spoke to my wife, eventually and told her everything. She was brilliant. Speak to your family, or your doctor again. As CWG says, this isn't a cure. It's a case of finding ways of coping that work for you and your loved ones. Don't beat yourself up re not being a perfect father. Is there such a thing?? I don't think there is. Be the best you can. Being Bipolar isn't great for me, but am I gonna let it ruin my life?? Not a chance! I just have to do things a bit differently to others. You can control this with help and structure to your life. I have found what works for me. You can do the same Phillip....... Stick in ma friend.

Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

[#FromTheCapital]

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Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

Although I can't identify with all of the problems you're going through, I'd suggest that cutting your hours down would be a great idea. My old job had us working sometimes 55-60 hours per week, but they only paid us a salary based on 42. This used to really get me down. I changed job and it's probably the best thing I've ever done for both my mental and physical health. My old boss went off sick for months because of stress and depression, thankfully he's also now left. I can understand that a lot of people don't have the same opportunities, but try and do whatever you can to cut down on hours if you feel it's too much and other parts of your life are worse off for it.

[lord bunberry]

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Although I can't identify with all of the problems you're going through, I'd suggest that cutting your hours down would be a great idea. My old job had us working sometimes 55-60 hours per week, but they only paid us a salary based on 42. This used to really get me down. I changed job and it's probably the best thing I've ever done for both my mental and physical health. My old boss went off sick for months because of stress and depression, thankfully he's also now left. I can understand that a lot of people don't have the same opportunities, but try and do whatever you can to cut down on hours if you feel it's too much and other parts of your life are worse off for it.

My problem with cutting down my hours is that I will earn less money. I'm self employed as a taxi driver and I bought my own cab 4 years ago. I've been working long hours for the 4 years to pay for the finance that I took out. I'm not working to have extra money, it's just to cover the bills. I've got less than a year to go before the finance is all paid off and I'll be cutting my hours down dramatically when that happens, I'm looking at ways I can change things around a bit in the mean time.

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Thanks for the advice mate, I'm going to sit down over the next few days and work out a way to cut down the amount of hours I work. I also work nights which is part of the problem, so I'm going to try and address that as well.

I did your job for four years, and was severely depressed as a result. It's lonely and it cuts down your opportunities to mix with other people. You almost feel like your watching the rest of the world go about its business, but you're never part of it.

Switching to days made a big difference, and not much less money either. The main thing was having a "normal" start time, and also I felt less a creature of the night.

Worth thinking about ways you can change it. Maybe a share that involves one week nights, one week days?