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  1. #1771
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    Yes, I was involved in setting up an experiment using TMS a few years ago at The Institute of Mental Health, University of Nottingham. At the time the thinking was that it had potential regarding the benefits for people with depression that had been found. However, these benefits were short-lived, maybe just a day or so. The treatment used a skull cap which passed magnetic impulses through the brain. Non-invasive. Participants in the experiment were offered a £20 voucher as I recall.
    Last edited by stu in nottingham; 17-02-2022 at 10:56 AM.
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  3. #1772
    Testimonial Due Santa Cruz's Avatar
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    Bumping this thread. Way to important to sit hidden on page 3.

    It has helped me so much just reading others experiences/advice. Thanks again for sharing.

  4. #1773
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    New series on Netflix about psychedelics. How To Change Your Mind. Might be worth a look.

  5. #1774
    @hibs.net private member Pagan Hibernia's Avatar
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    I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

    my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

    ah well. Time to work on it again.

  6. #1775
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia View Post
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    I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

    my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

    ah well. Time to work on it again.
    Sorry to hear that.

    However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

    Get the tool box out again 😀

  7. #1776
    @hibs.net private member Pagan Hibernia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Sorry to hear that.

    However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

    Get the tool box out again 😀
    thanks mate

  8. #1777
    Quote Originally Posted by Pagan Hibernia View Post
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    I had been doing really well. Really done a lot of work on myself, and had built up self esteem and self confidence. Life tends to throw things at you that test how far you’ve come.

    my car was stolen yesterday. A very small thing really, and something that happens to people every day, but to me it has brought on, or should I say brought back feelings of stupidity and self loathing.

    ah well. Time to work on it again.
    Can sympathise with this.

    I was in a place for a period where I couldn't enjoy good moments to their fullest because I 'knew' something ***** would inevitably be round the corner that would plunge me deeper into a hole that became more and more difficult to get out of with every passing occasion.

    Therapy helped me massively. Among other things I was able to learn to ride the peaks and troughs of life much better than I ever have.

    It's very easy to say but your car getting stolen (though an absolute pain in the arse) shouldn't be the setback to your mental health that you're feeling it is.

    Therapy (and time) is a great way to tackle those feelings but in the meantime, take a breather, try not to be so hard on yourself and practice a bit of self-care (e.g. whatever calms you).

  9. #1778
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Sorry to hear that.

    However... and I realise that this may be small comfort to you just now... you HAVE come a long way. You have proved to yourself that you have the tools to get you where you want to be.

    Get the tool box out again 😀
    I would agree 100% with this. Unfortunately life does throw crappy things at you which can seem to set you back. But remember how far you’ve come, try to realise that these things happen to everybody (not just you for being “weak” and use the tools you have to get through it. I have to use the tools that therapy gave me almost every morning when I wake up. They do help

  10. #1779
    Testimonial Due LustForLeith's Avatar
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    Put this in the main three as but there’s a drop in session for the changing room next Monday. Meeting at 6 at the famous five stand.

    A chance for men to tackle their mental health through Hibs.

    It’s free, safe and confidential. And there’s tea and biscuits!

  11. #1780
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Interesting new study on the question of low serotonin .

    https://neurosciencenews.com/serotonin-depression-21074/

  12. #1781
    Moving this up. Not depression or anxiety as such but a bit advice.

    My Mum died in May. She had MND. I mentioned it before on other threads and it wasn't unexpected due to her diagnosis.

    However, I took time off work following it probably, obviously. Work have been excellent in that they've basically said take as much time as I need and mean it. I had a meeting about going back, with OH but they want me to speak to a bereavement Counciller before I go back. I'm not even sure where to start really...

    My work offers a thing through a third party where you call call up and they arrange over the phone councilling. I'm not really interested in speaking to someone over the phone, it's impersonal and I don't particularly like it. However, the service has been crap, I've called three times;

    Once to set it up, they complained it was a bad line but I could hear them. Eventually I gave up. Secondly I managed to speak to some admin guy in a call centre who said he'd arranged an appointment between a two hour window on a day. They didn't call.

    I called this morning to chase it up and was told someone would call back. Still waiting.

    I've contacted another option through an insurance scheme I pay into via work and I was told to call back cos everyone was busy.

    I'm not invested in it. I'm not particularly interested in doing it, I'm doing it so I can go back to work but I'm getting massively pissed off because they're telling me to access it but I'm having to jump through hoops to try and just talk to someone I've no real interest in talking to anyway...

    I'd much prefer face to face. I hate relying on phone calls and other people letting me down constantly.

    Has anyone been in this situation or can anyone offer advice?



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  13. #1782
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy View Post
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    Moving this up. Not depression or anxiety as such but a bit advice.

    My Mum died in May. She had MND. I mentioned it before on other threads and it wasn't unexpected due to her diagnosis.

    However, I took time off work following it probably, obviously. Work have been excellent in that they've basically said take as much time as I need and mean it. I had a meeting about going back, with OH but they want me to speak to a bereavement Counciller before I go back. I'm not even sure where to start really...

    My work offers a thing through a third party where you call call up and they arrange over the phone councilling. I'm not really interested in speaking to someone over the phone, it's impersonal and I don't particularly like it. However, the service has been crap, I've called three times;

    Once to set it up, they complained it was a bad line but I could hear them. Eventually I gave up. Secondly I managed to speak to some admin guy in a call centre who said he'd arranged an appointment between a two hour window on a day. They didn't call.

    I called this morning to chase it up and was told someone would call back. Still waiting.

    I've contacted another option through an insurance scheme I pay into via work and I was told to call back cos everyone was busy.

    I'm not invested in it. I'm not particularly interested in doing it, I'm doing it so I can go back to work but I'm getting massively pissed off because they're telling me to access it but I'm having to jump through hoops to try and just talk to someone I've no real interest in talking to anyway...

    I'd much prefer face to face. I hate relying on phone calls and other people letting me down constantly.

    Has anyone been in this situation or can anyone offer advice?



    Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk
    Hi Jimmy

    I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. I'll try to offer a few thoughts and suggestions about your problem. I understand that it's an obligation for you to have support and I'll speak on that basis.

    Sorry too about your experience so far. It sounds as though the organisation you're dealing with may possibly have a lack of resources and or staff. Such is the way nowadays.

    The first people I think of for bereavement support are Cruse, a non-profit organisation. I see their business address in Scotland is in Edinburgh (not sure where you're based) and I'm wondering if there might be 1-1 face to face support for you locally with them. Have a check through their site, it mentions slightly different support for those bereaved within the past six months and those bereaved beyond that time. There's opinion that for some, support after the first six months can be more beneficial at a time when family and friend support has decreased and people have passed through stages of grief.. You may want to make this point with your employer.

    https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/how...rt-for-adults/

    https://www.cruse.org.uk/

    Regarding telephone counselling I have several years experience in carrying this out and recognise the pros and cons of it. I am given little choice but to offer anything but telephone or Zoom calls and find the majority of people are happy enough with it. I also recognise that some are disappointed that they cannot meet face to face and totally understand that sentiment.You may find a videocall a little better but for some it presents another layer of difficulty. I find people who choose telephone work way outnumber those who like a Zoom call.

    The pandemic accelerated use of telephone and online work and many services have not returned or returned fully to offering in-person counselling, my employers mostly included in that.

    I think many practitioners have become more skilled at giving support by these means in recent times though some undoubtedly still don't like it or buy into it fully. If it's the case that you have no other options, let's then consider a few positive aspects of it. I should say firstly that my own organisation's results since employing these methods have actually been slightly more successful, believe it or not! A key might be in the attendance figures.

    With telephone counselling the only cue or clue to what's actually happening with the client is of course their voice. Active listening by the practitioner should always be of great inportance and this is increasingly so when there are none of the traditional cues and clues given by someone presenting in front of you. You can be sure that any practitioner is listening double-hard in my view!

    From a practitioner's view on how they can help you they can have a range of resources and research at their fingertips online as you both speak.

    Many clients enjoy that they can relax in their own environment at home. They find it less tense and anxiety-inducing than having to get to a building somewhere, sit in an unfamiliar room, out of their own comfort zone. Instead, they can sit at home and chat with a cup of coffee and let the session roll out.

    I have had many clients who were at first dead set against telephone support but quickly settled into it after committing. I guess part of that is in the practitioner's skill and experience in working this way.

    Let me know either here or by DM if I can answer any other questions for you mate.
    FAITH HOPE LOVE

    My Blog:
    The Tears of a Clown


  14. #1783
    Quote Originally Posted by stu in nottingham View Post
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    Hi Jimmy

    I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. I'll try to offer a few thoughts and suggestions about your problem. I understand that it's an obligation for you to have support and I'll speak on that basis.

    Sorry too about your experience so far. It sounds as though the organisation you're dealing with may possibly have a lack of resources and or staff. Such is the way nowadays.

    The first people I think of for bereavement support are Cruse, a non-profit organisation. I see their business address in Scotland is in Edinburgh (not sure where you're based) and I'm wondering if there might be 1-1 face to face support for you locally with them. Have a check through their site, it mentions slightly different support for those bereaved within the past six months and those bereaved beyond that time. There's opinion that for some, support after the first six months can be more beneficial at a time when family and friend support has decreased and people have passed through stages of grief.. You may want to make this point with your employer.

    https://www.crusescotland.org.uk/how...rt-for-adults/

    https://www.cruse.org.uk/

    Regarding telephone counselling I have several years experience in carrying this out and recognise the pros and cons of it. I am given little choice but to offer anything but telephone or Zoom calls and find the majority of people are happy enough with it. I also recognise that some are disappointed that they cannot meet face to face and totally understand that sentiment.You may find a videocall a little better but for some it presents another layer of difficulty. I find people who choose telephone work way outnumber those who like a Zoom call.

    The pandemic accelerated use of telephone and online work and many services have not returned or returned fully to offering in-person counselling, my employers mostly included in that.

    I think many practitioners have become more skilled at giving support by these means in recent times though some undoubtedly still don't like it or buy into it fully. If it's the case that you have no other options, let's then consider a few positive aspects of it. I should say firstly that my own organisation's results since employing these methods have actually been slightly more successful, believe it or not! A key might be in the attendance figures.

    With telephone counselling the only cue or clue to what's actually happening with the client is of course their voice. Active listening by the practitioner should always be of great inportance and this is increasingly so when there are none of the traditional cues and clues given by someone presenting in front of you. You can be sure that any practitioner is listening double-hard in my view!

    From a practitioner's view on how they can help you they can have a range of resources and research at their fingertips online as you both speak.

    Many clients enjoy that they can relax in their own environment at home. They find it less tense and anxiety-inducing than having to get to a building somewhere, sit in an unfamiliar room, out of their own comfort zone. Instead, they can sit at home and chat with a cup of coffee and let the session roll out.

    I have had many clients who were at first dead set against telephone support but quickly settled into it after committing. I guess part of that is in the practitioner's skill and experience in working this way.

    Let me know either here or by DM if I can answer any other questions for you mate.
    Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service. That's maybe unfair as you suggest, I'm absolutely less tolerant of things atm.

    I'm open to speaking, I don't particularly feel I need it yet but it's likely I'm just not recognising that. If its as successful as you suggest it might be, I'll give it a shot and see. My wife suggested earlier that being closed to it means it'll fail either way and as normal... she's right.

    I'll drop you a PM in a bit if I have anything else I need to discuss. I'm currently waiting on another call back from them so I'll see how it goes.

    Thanks again.

    Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

  15. #1784
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy View Post
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    Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service.
    I hear you and I agree.

    Sounds to me as though you have a fairly progressive employer (since they've been helpful and have these services available). In your position, I think I'd be speaking to my employer to let them know your feelings about the service that their contractor is providing. I expect they'll have someone whose job it is to look after your employer's relationship with this provider, and they could get involved to assist?

    I'd also echo Stu's comments about CRUSE. They were very helpful to a relative of mine.

    PS hope you don't mind my commenting on your post, and I wish you well in managing to deal with your loss. Loss of our loved ones hits us all differently, IMO there's no one way to handle it.
    Last edited by grunt; 09-08-2022 at 04:02 PM.

  16. #1785
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just_Jimmy View Post
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    Hi Stu, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's an interesting read. My frustration is probably more that I detest poor service, and I feel that's what I've recieved so far from a company my employer is paying for a service. That's maybe unfair as you suggest, I'm absolutely less tolerant of things atm.

    I'm open to speaking, I don't particularly feel I need it yet but it's likely I'm just not recognising that. If its as successful as you suggest it might be, I'll give it a shot and see. My wife suggested earlier that being closed to it means it'll fail either way and as normal... she's right.

    I'll drop you a PM in a bit if I have anything else I need to discuss. I'm currently waiting on another call back from them so I'll see how it goes.

    Thanks again.

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    No worries mate, I quite understand how frustrating that must be, it's disappointing service and that must be offputting. It's ironic that your company is paying for this service. The non-profit organisation I work for is free and undertakes to put referrals through to counsellors in a set number of days and has to document that. It is audited too.

    Good luck with everything.
    FAITH HOPE LOVE

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    The Tears of a Clown


  17. #1786
    Quote Originally Posted by grunt View Post
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    I hear you and I agree.

    Sounds to me as though you have a fairly progressive employer (since they've been helpful and have these services available). In your position, I think I'd be speaking to my employer to let them know your feelings about the service that their contractor is providing. I expect they'll have someone whose job it is to look after your employer's relationship with this provider, and they could get involved to assist?

    I'd also echo Stu's comments about CRUSE. They were very helpful to a relative of mine.

    PS hope you don't mind my commenting on your post, and I wish you well in managing to deal with your loss. Loss of our loved ones hits us all differently, IMO there's no one way to handle it.
    No issue at all mate. Thanks for reading.

    I should have said I contacted cruse last week and they emailed me right away, but they have a 10 or 12 week lead time which isn't great because I want to go back to work.

    You're right in that my employer has been excellent and I'll feed it back when I have my next meeting. I'm sure they'll be disappointed to hear about it.

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  18. #1787
    Quote Originally Posted by stu in nottingham View Post
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    No worries mate, I quite understand how frustrating that must be, it's disappointing service and that must be offputting. It's ironic that your company is paying for this service. The non-profit organisation I work for is free and undertakes to put referrals through to counsellors in a set number of days and has to document that. It is audited too.

    Good luck with everything.
    I've looked at a couple of services but I'm reluctant to go to a non profit etc and use a space someone who needs it could use, whilst my employer offers a third party they pay for.

    I might end up being a solution for me and I'll make a donation or whatever to them.

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  19. #1788
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    World Suicide Prevention Day falls on 10th September.

    The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that more than 700,000 people die due to suicide each year. For every suicide there are many more who attempt suicide or have suicidal thoughts. Suicidal behaviour profoundly impacts families and communities and remains a universal challenge with millions impacted. The reduction of suicide mortality is of global importance and a vital public health consideration.

    World Suicide Prevention Day was established in 2003 by the International Association for Suicide Prevention in conjunction with the World Health Organisation. The 10th of September each year focuses attention on the issue, reduces stigma and raises awareness among organisations, government, and the public, giving a singular message that suicide can be prevented.

    “Creating hope through action” is the theme for World Suicide Prevention Day from 2021 - 2023. This theme is a reminder that there is an alternative to suicide and aims to inspire confidence and light in all of us.


    https://www.who.int/campaigns/world-...ntion-day/2022

    https://www.iasp.info/wspd/

    #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

    Creating Hope Through Action.

  20. #1789
    @hibs.net private member Hibernia&Alba's Avatar
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    I've been feeling a bit crap for a couple of weeks. I can always tell that I'm struggling when my OCD habits intensify, particularly hair pulling. Intrusive thoughts are a big problem. Luckily, I've been dealing with it all my life, so I know the drill by now regarding coping strategies.
    HIBERNIAN FC - ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY SINCE 1875

  21. #1790
    @hibs.net private member Jones28's Avatar
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    I witnessed a very intense panic/anxiety attack today and I don’t think it’s something I would wish on anyone.

    I was told that the guy was trying to stop drinking and it was related to that.

    The noises he was making were of pure terror, and this is a big, scary looking guy.
    "...when Hibs won the Scottish Cup final and that celebration, Sunshine on Leith? I don’t think there’s a better football celebration ever in the game.”

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  22. #1791
    Coaching Staff Smartie's Avatar
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    There’s an interesting programme on Netflix about the tennis player Mardy Fish where he discusses some of his own mental health issues.

    He got into the best physical shape of his life, his game improved accordingly and then the pressure that came with being the number 1 American tennis player at that time came crashing down on him.
    Last edited by Smartie; 06-09-2022 at 07:22 AM.

  23. #1792
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibernia&Alba View Post
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    I've been feeling a bit crap for a couple of weeks. I can always tell that I'm struggling when my OCD habits intensify, particularly hair pulling. Intrusive thoughts are a big problem. Luckily, I've been dealing with it all my life, so I know the drill by now regarding coping strategies.
    Sorry to hear mate but also pleased you know the script with what works for you in dealing with those feelings. It's different for every person of course but if there is anything you feel able to share for others' benefit, please do. Hope you're feeling better soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jones28 View Post
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    I witnessed a very intense panic/anxiety attack today and I don’t think it’s something I would wish on anyone.

    I was told that the guy was trying to stop drinking and it was related to that.

    The noises he was making were of pure terror, and this is a big, scary looking guy.
    Reminds me of something I learned when first being trained in this stuff and it stuck in my mind. It's that at their very worst, people can actually feel like they're dying when they experience panic attacks. I hope the guy is okay.
    FAITH HOPE LOVE

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    The Tears of a Clown


  24. #1793
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Interesting study.

    https://neurosciencenews.com/tob-depression-anxiety-21383/

  25. #1794
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    My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞

  26. #1795
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞
    Do you have someone to talk to?

    If not,

    PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK
    0800 068 4 1 4 1
    07 786 209697 (TEXT)
    [email protected]
    PAPYRUS-UK.ORG
    CONFIDENTIAL SUPPORT FOR
    UNDER-35S AT RISK OF SUICIDE
    AND OTHERS WHO ARE
    CONCERNED ABOUT THEM. OPEN
    DAILY FROM 9AM–MIDNIGHT.


    SAMARITANS
    116 123 (FREEPHONE)

    SAMARITANS ARE OPEN 24 / 7 FOR
    ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO TALK.
    YOU CAN VISIT SOME
    SAMARITANS BRANCHES IN
    PERSON.

    SHOUT
    85258 (TEXT SHOUT)
    GIVEUSASHOUT.ORG
    CONFIDENTIAL 24 / 7 TEXT SERVICE
    OFFERING SUPPORT IF YOU ARE
    IN CRISIS AND NEED IMMEDIATE
    HELP.

    STAY ALIVE
    PREVENT-SUICIDE.ORG.UK
    APP WITH HELP AND RESOURCES
    FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL SUICIDAL
    OR ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE
    ELSE.

  27. #1796
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    My anxiety levels are through the roof, all this Ukraine/nuke stuff has tipped me over the edge and Im having a massive anxiety attack just now, Im seriously thinking of ways out now, just cant take it anymore, Im literally pacing the livingroom 😞
    I'd advise calling samaratins or such 116 123. I personally think there's is not a chance he sends a nuke. If you are wanting to go to hibs St j next Friday, I'd defo meet for a pint before. I would happily boar you to tears talking about why I think he won't. Defo phone someone regardless please mate

  28. #1797
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Do you have someone to talk to?

    If not,

    PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK
    0800 068 4 1 4 1
    07 786 209697 (TEXT)
    [email protected]
    PAPYRUS-UK.ORG
    CONFIDENTIAL SUPPORT FOR
    UNDER-35S AT RISK OF SUICIDE
    AND OTHERS WHO ARE
    CONCERNED ABOUT THEM. OPEN
    DAILY FROM 9AM–MIDNIGHT.


    SAMARITANS
    116 123 (FREEPHONE)

    SAMARITANS ARE OPEN 24 / 7 FOR
    ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO TALK.
    YOU CAN VISIT SOME
    SAMARITANS BRANCHES IN
    PERSON.

    SHOUT
    85258 (TEXT SHOUT)
    GIVEUSASHOUT.ORG
    CONFIDENTIAL 24 / 7 TEXT SERVICE
    OFFERING SUPPORT IF YOU ARE
    IN CRISIS AND NEED IMMEDIATE
    HELP.

    STAY ALIVE
    PREVENT-SUICIDE.ORG.UK
    APP WITH HELP AND RESOURCES
    FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL SUICIDAL
    OR ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE
    ELSE.
    Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though

  29. #1798
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
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    Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though


    Take care of yourself..... the last word being the most important.

  30. #1799
    Coaching Staff hibsbollah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge hibs View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Thanks mate, Ive called my Wife and she is on her way from work, she knows my issues well. Im normally good at coping but something triggered when I switched on the news this morning and my head just went into overdrive, to the point calmness went to irrational thinking. Ive stopped pacing the livingroom, still literraly shaking now though
    That’s never nice, I really hope you’re feeling better soon. I have some experience with an anxiety disorder and just patiently controlling your breathing really is the first step to getting yourself grounded and dealing with everything else. Keep us posted

  31. #1800
    @hibs.net private member
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    Jan 2021
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    Thanks so much guys, really appreciate the support. Some really horrible and uncontrollable thoughts went through my head, havent experienced that before.

    Apologies, Ive been ill for a wee while and that may have contributed. Ive taken a tablet and Im going to try and get a sleep

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