Depression and anxiety

[wpj]

I change from day to day, the thing I have enjoyed the most (apart from my walks and sitting in the garden) has been reconnecting with friends who I haven't talked to for years, haven't laughed so much in ages

[Greenworld]

I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


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[Hibby Bairn]

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I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


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The spending reduction has been a real insight. As a household we are spending at least 50% less each of the last 2 months. Little or no petrol, eating out, coffees and cakes, days out doing “stuff”, the pub, less takeaways. And we are still keeping up subscriptions to clubs which we might not continue come June. Questioning the need for two cars. Etc.

I still want to go and do most of this stuff but I guess it also shows how little you do actually need if you didn’t and opted for a simple life.

[CropleyWasGod]

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I do hope that we can learn from what we are all we are saying. Don't just go back to the way it was before when this is all over.
Change your way of living , if you can?
Slow down , take time for yourself , keep doing the walks , the 5000 or 10000 steps a day .
Even at work can you cut back ,don't do overtime if you don't have to keep that time for you!
We all are spending so much less , why is that?
Pouring our money down the drain at pubs, gambling, driving, eating out well i bet most of savings is from some of that as we cannot do any of it.
It is an eye opener to me how little you actually need to live on if you cut out these things.
Even just cutting back a bit helps.
It really is uplifting reading all the comments but let's learn and lets try and keep this way.
Its really good right?


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Yep, it is really good. It might turn out that it's us crazies who were right all along.

Moan the mentals....

[SideBurns]

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Yep, it is really good. It might turn out that it's us crazies who were right all along.

Moan the mentals....

It's been a proud boast for decades:

"We are the Mental Hibees!"

The rest of the world will be playing catch up.

[overdrive]

I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

[heidtheba]

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I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

If 'letting off steam' is causing you issues, have you ever tried 'morning pages'? I use it when I'm stressed and it helps me a lot. Hand write three a4 pages. Crap handwriting, rubbish grammar etc doesn't matter. Just 'mind-dump' and say anything and everything. But stick to three pages. Usually I'm 'done' ranting after two and having to do the final page lets me return more to a constructive and even positive 'even keel'. Then you can chuck it in the bin after, job done. You're not being Anne Frank, just letting off steam.

[heidtheba]

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The cool thing is that your already noticing your having the 'back to work' arguments. For you to experience them you need to engage in thought about them. When you arent can you find them anywhere? So first thing, if you can see the thought you must be the witnesser of the thought. Those thoughts are nothing to do with you apart from being a temporary appearance within your awareness.

Worrying about the future doesnt mean your experiencing anything about the future, just a thought about it in the moment. As everything we experience is 'in our heads' for want of a better phrase the body is going to react the same whether its real or not. (I might think about food and salivate same as if I had a nice curry actually in front of me) So we have a feeling as a reaction to the thought. The feeling knows nothing about the thought its a biological reaction. So again play with seeing the thought for what it is and play with just allow that feeling to bubble up without doing anything else.

I dont like giving advice as such but just trying to point you back to somewhere I think you already realise you should be looking. Hope thats makes sense & if it doesnt feel free to ignore

Advice much appreciated! And apologies for taking time to reply with my thanks. All good advice and yes, thoughts aren't facts but God they feel like they are. Meditation and morning pages here I come.
Thanks.

[Smartie]

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I’ve gone from being OK at the start to struggling a bit now. It is mainly work that is the issue. They are heaping the pressure on to be even more productive and work long hours. I’m on Microsoft Teams calls often back-to-back from 8.30 through to 5 with a quick break for lunch then expected to do work off the back of that. I feel absolutely shattered and I’m struggling to sleep. My lower back often feels completely numb come 5/5.30. I miss the social interaction at work where you can have a short bitch with a colleague at the tea point to let off steam. I’m working on a big project at the moment and the plan is obviously push this through to avoid financial penalties and to hell with the complications that home working brings to that.

When I look at neighbours out in their gardens reading presumably because they are furloughed I feel jealous of them. Then I feel really guilty because of that as there’s folk really struggling financially at the moment.

I was meant to be putting my house on the market and getting my divorce finalised but that is all on hold and the uncertainty around that isn’t helping either.

This sounds like daft advice but do you have any time off or holidays planned?

It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now.

When the "big project" is complete, I'd be looking to take some time off if I were you.

Try not to pay too much attention to other people - some will be better off than you right now, some will be worse off. You've just got to keep fighting your own battles, one at a time.

And when you get that time off - don't feel in the least bit guilty about it, you've earned it.

All the best.

[SteveHFC]

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Hope you're ok pal.

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Hope the CBT helps, I hear a lot of positives about it and my personal view is it would work for me. Hope it works. Best wishes.

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Stick in there mate, there are many of us here if you need a chat

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Steve, not sure what's up but if you need anything PM me.

Thanks guys. Appreciate it.

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Yes, I take medication and have done for last 4yrs has helped me immensely. I guess it maybe why all this has not affected me really as a few years ago I would be making up negative scenarios regarding work etc. You sound like you are going about things correctly so stick with the medication and if after a while you feel the medication isn't right just tell them you want to try something else. You will credit the CBT and the Meds once you get on track but always remember to give biggest credit to yourself.

My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.

[Dalianwanda]

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My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.

The cool thing is at least you are noticing that it makes things up (I cannot emphasise how important that noticing is). What would happen if when you noticed a negative scenario popping up you were just cool with it & did nothing?

When you say "constantly" is this 100% of your day with no exception? Is there ever a moment when things feel just fine? Even just a short one.

Sorry you may not be up for answering these..but something to check in on.feel free to PM

[Greenworld]

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Thanks guys. Appreciate it.



My mind constantly overthinks everything and makes up negative scenarios. I have to google every thought that appears in my head. Medication is helping me so far and CBT is working. I always put myself down saying i can't do this thing or that thing. I struggle with anxiety and confidence daily. So i'm just taking one day at a time.

Steve your not alone on what your describing in fact it is very much what i have suffered for years. It does not have to be a hard task or job but i doubt myself and my ability to do it. Panic sets in often i freeze unable to move with fear and anxiety and run away from it.
Fight or flight as my doc describes it well i have always choose flight.
I got prescribed citalopram and have been taking them for two years now. The difference is incredible i still have issues but most of the time i can deal with it.


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[wpj]

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Steve your not alone on what your describing in fact it is very much what i have suffered for years. It does not have to be a hard task or job but i doubt myself and my ability to do it. Panic sets in often i freeze unable to move with fear and anxiety and run away from it.
Fight or flight as my doc describes it well i have always choose flight.
I got prescribed citalopram and have been taking them for two years now. The difference is incredible i still have issues but most of the time i can deal with it.


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Sertraline I'm on, together with my cardiology meds I rattle when I walk. Not sure how effective they are but I think they keep me at least a wee bit saner than without them

[overdrive]

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This sounds like daft advice but do you have any time off or holidays planned?

It sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now.

When the "big project" is complete, I'd be looking to take some time off if I were you.

Try not to pay too much attention to other people - some will be better off than you right now, some will be worse off. You've just got to keep fighting your own battles, one at a time.

And when you get that time off - don't feel in the least bit guilty about it, you've earned it.

All the best.

The project is due to go on for another year. Any holiday just heaps on more pressure. I was in the position last year (due to this project also) where I had only had a week off all year by December. I have two days booked in for the start of June but it looks like I’m going to have to cancel them due to shifting deadlines.

It is frustrating when the senior staff openly say “nobody should be feeling like they are working at 100% right now” then privately heap on the pressure and make unrealistic demands.

[stu in nottingham]

This fantastic thread has seemed relatively quiet considering the great pressures on people's mental health the past couple of months. i do hope that people in general are managing and coping. There's a lot of advice out there but sometimes there's nothing better than spraffing with your mates about how you're doing.

I've led a pretty solitary life the past (almost) ten weeks, save for working from home providing telephone counselling. I've come to understand that I can feel strong and resilient very much most of the time but that there's a need to be in acceptance that there will be a bad day or time here and there.

[LustForLeith]

Hi folks,

Well done to everyone whose contributed to this thread. It takes amazing bravery to talk a out your feelings.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a volunteer at The Changing Room which helps men in their middle years tackle depression through football. We have a twelve week programme based at Easter Road which has great backing from Hibs.

In the current climate it’s impossible to have a 12 week programme at Easter Road but it doesn’t mean that we can’t support people on other ways. As a result there’s going to be a five week virtual programme starting soon.

It’s going to be a challenge as it takes away from the things that made the Changing Room a success is that it was held in Easter Road and gave participants a change to spend a bit of time in a place they know and love while feeling supported. However, it’s something that everyone involved is keen to face.

If you’re looking for more information then drop the team an email at thechangingroom@samh.org.uk
while there’s more information here http://hibs.thechangingroom.org.uk/

Thanks

[Scorrie]

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This fantastic thread has seemed relatively quiet considering the great pressures on people's mental health the past couple of months. i do hope that people in general are managing and coping. There's a lot of advice out there but sometimes there's nothing better than spraffing with your mates about how you're doing.

I've led a pretty solitary life the past (almost) ten weeks, save for working from home providing telephone counselling. I've come to understand that I can feel strong and resilient very much most of the time but that there's a need to be in acceptance that there will be a bad day or time here and there.

Just checked back in here. Is anyone else feeling a bit anxious about coming out of lockdown? I’ve found it hugely disruptive yet have carried on working at home. Perhaps it’s the anxiety of another change coming soon which I’m finding a bit hard to take...

[Dalianwanda]

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Just checked back in here. Is anyone else feeling a bit anxious about coming out of lockdown? I’ve found it hugely disruptive yet have carried on working at home. Perhaps it’s the anxiety of another change coming soon which I’m finding a bit hard to take...

I’ve got worries about what’s to come & how i’ll cope how things will change. Thing is the feeling of anxiety only comes when i’m thinking about it. When i’m not what’s coming isn’t a problem.

Respect for acknowledging it...Who knows how you will cope but you’ve coped up till this point..Through the biggest change to our lives any of us have. There’s gonna be changes again for sure....talking about it acknowledging it knowing that a bit of anxious thinking is ..the changing rooms initiative sounds like a great please to allow that to happen..always about if you want a blether

[stu in nottingham]

Beacause it's largely uncharted ground i reckon there's bound to be anxieties about returning to whatever 'normal' is. I wouldn't say I feel anxious personally but there is this feeling of 'coming out of the cave' a bit. To understand that this will be the case will be helpful I think.

I read an account of a guy who lives in Glasgow who took a year-long retreat high up on a mountain in China. There were what sounded like a handful of people at the retreat but if I recall he was the only English-speaking person - another isolating factor. In addition, they were cut off for long periods in the winter.

What he stated was that it took him around a week to adapt to his new situation on the mountain. However, when he came back to Glasgow it took him four times as long - a month to adapt back again. He found everything too fast and too loud, the pace of things was problematic to him. i think small steps back 'into life' again might well be the way.

[Scorrie]

Thanks both. It will be small steps back out there for me. Even getting in the car driving after 5 weeks was weird. Taking one step at a time will be important...

[Dalianwanda]

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Thanks both. It will be small steps back out there for me. Even getting in the car driving after 5 weeks was weird. Taking one step at a time will be important...

Sounds like a plan :-). Do remember to check in with those small steps once done & give yourself a bit of credit.

[Sylar]

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Hi folks,

Well done to everyone whose contributed to this thread. It takes amazing bravery to talk a out your feelings.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a volunteer at The Changing Room which helps men in their middle years tackle depression through football. We have a twelve week programme based at Easter Road which has great backing from Hibs.

In the current climate it’s impossible to have a 12 week programme at Easter Road but it doesn’t mean that we can’t support people on other ways. As a result there’s going to be a five week virtual programme starting soon.

It’s going to be a challenge as it takes away from the things that made the Changing Room a success is that it was held in Easter Road and gave participants a change to spend a bit of time in a place they know and love while feeling supported. However, it’s something that everyone involved is keen to face.

If you’re looking for more information then drop the team an email at thechangingroom@samh.org.uk
while there’s more information here http://hibs.thechangingroom.org.uk/

Thanks

If this is anything like the group I'm involved with, thank you for what you do, and let me recommend it to anyone who needs a bit of camaraderie and/or support!

I got involved with a group called Kick Mental Health at the tail end of last year, in Lanark. It involves a group of around 14 (sometimes more) guys getting together every Wednesday for a game of 7 aside, with a combined 'Changing Room Chat' before, during and after for anyone who wants it.

I'm dreadfully bad compared to some of the guys that play weekly, but it's a great laugh and knowing that you're playing with likeminded guys who appreciate the break for a game is liberating.

There have been twice-weekly Zoom catch-up sessions throughout lockdown, but I'm normally 'zoomed out' by the time they happen so haven't joined one yet, but they've been hugely successful by all accounts.

[Scorrie]

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Sounds like a plan :-). Do remember to check in with those small steps once done & give yourself a bit of credit.

Really good advice. Too frequently forget to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes. Got back to playing tennis which is great and have first post lockdown golf booked next week which will be interesting if nothing else. I’ll tick off a couple of more things as I do them...👍

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

[Hiber-nation]

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My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

That's brilliant to hear 👍

[SideBurns]

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My old man had his first days fishing of the new season yesterday, he was like a wee bairn on Xmas Eve on Thursday night, this will have a hugely positive impact on his mental health after my mum's recent passing.

Good to hear- hard enough going through the grieving process without being able to get out and do the things you enjoy.

I heard yesterday from a pal in the brewing industry (one of the major world brewers) that pubs are hopeful of a UK wide reopening on 4 July (can only assume they expect the 2 metre thing to be reduced, otherwise that will be difficult), so you might be able to get your auld man out for a pint in the not too distant future!

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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Good to hear- hard enough going through the grieving process without being able to get out and do the things you enjoy.

I heard yesterday from a pal in the brewing industry (one of the major world brewers) that pubs are hopeful of a UK wide reopening on 4 July (can only assume they expect the 2 metre thing to be reduced, otherwise that will be difficult), so you might be able to get your auld man out for a pint in the not too distant future!

We've managed to get a socially distanced can or two out and about now again (Water of Leith the venue today).

[SideBurns]

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We've managed to get a socially distanced can or two out and about now again (Water of Leith the venue today).

The weather is at least allowing for the al fresco drinking experience! You won't be alone in that today. Enjoy the beer at the Water of Leith with your dad; one of my favourite walks (done the St.Columba's Hospice charity walk along the entire route a few times, great feeling when you get down to the famous port gasping for a jar!).

Apologies for seemingly combining this thread with the wildlife/ drinking threads!!

[Sylar]

I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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I ended up a drive last night around midnight after going absolutely tonto at my 3 year old. I haven't slept in about 3 days as a number of things have been weighing down on me. Just as I got into a deep sleep, she woke up and started rattling her head off the wall, which sounded like an earthquake. Bleary and disoriented, I ran into her room and yelled at her to stop it. As soon as I lay her down again, she started laughing, so I screamed "NO!" at her - cue expected and understandable fear and upset from the poor wee mite, and a totally ashamed and somewhat afraid Sylar.

I phoned Samaritans when I was out in the car, and they were great. Gave me some great resources to check out once I got back home. I also phoned Breathing Space this afternoon, and the guy I spoke to listened and spoke compassionately and without judgement. I'm going to see my GP on Monday - I'm fed up of these angry outbursts and low moods, and I've put off seeking proper help long enough. I reckon there's an element of my already-diagnosed anxiety at work, but I wouldn't be surprised if Depression and potentially PTSD are part of the conversation on Monday.

I never hear of any of my mate's or family members who are dad's struggling, and so speaking to someone else earlier who was also a dad to a young toddler and is experiencing really challenging days was incredibly reassuring. Made me feel like much less of a failure as a parent and a human being, but I definitely need help before I end up doing some damage to myself or someone else.

Hope things work out ok for you mate.