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  1. #841
    @hibs.net private member Aldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hibsbollah View Post
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    Thanks to you and others for your kind words, but really the sense of loss I feel will be infinitesimally small compared to his wife and kids. It's all about them really. I was out drinking and having a laugh watching comedy at the festival today, I doubt his family will be able to do that. I suppose the main emotions I have are senses of failure and regret that I couldn't help him enough to make a difference.
    H Your last sentence shows you care and I am sure the support you gave him for that period was appreciated by him even if he didn't say so. Your wording on your previous post may mean nothing to some but will mean everything to someone looking in and it may have given them the courage to seek some assistance/help they so desperately need.

    Wasn't sure how to word this so hopefully this makes sense!


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  3. #842
    Testimonial Due pontius pilate's Avatar
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    The amount of support on this thread makes me proud to be a hibby. I don’t get out to too many games due to mental health issues mainly depression anxiety and ptsd. I’ve done counselling and been on many different meds including alcohol been sober 5 years now. Every day I question myself and others on what there motives are. Every day is a struggle but I’m up and at work every day but still have the feeling of dread and self loathing. This forum in all its forms helps.

    GGTTH

  4. #843
    Testimonial Due wpj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pontius pilate View Post
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    The amount of support on this thread makes me proud to be a hibby. I don’t get out to too many games due to mental health issues mainly depression anxiety and ptsd. I’ve done counselling and been on many different meds including alcohol been sober 5 years now. Every day I question myself and others on what there motives are. Every day is a struggle but I’m up and at work every day but still have the feeling of dread and self loathing. This forum in all its forms helps.

    GGTTH
    Same for me PP, I am going through a pretty tough time physically which is impacting on my mental health.I am lucky to have support but it's still a long lonely fight at times.. This thread has been a massive help for me, and while I don't know any of you (well I might who knows) I feel an affinity with all the posters brave enough to share on here. Also those who post who do not suffer but support and care for those who do.

  5. #844
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    Currently struggling. Been doing so well recently, but can’t face to even look at myself right now. Why does it change so quickly. Self loathing is something I’ve never been able get rid off.

    United we stand here....

  6. #845
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lord bunberry View Post
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    Currently struggling. Been doing so well recently, but can’t face to even look at myself right now. Why does it change so quickly. Self loathing is something I’ve never been able get rid off.
    I often feel like you do at this time of year.

    Sometimes I think that we are more in tune with our natural environment than we are allowed to admit. Round about this time of year, with the equinox approaching, our natural selves are preparing for winter, but society demands that we still run at 100%.

    So, as our energy levels are dropping, our activity isn't. That leads to more anxiety, self-reproach and, as you say, self-loathing.

    My approach in September/October is to try and squeeze as much fresh air and, more importantly, light into my batteries to prepare for the darker days ahead. It's not easy when you have a job and personal commitments, I know, but I find it worth the effort.





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  7. #846
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    I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if I'm missing something. I was on Prozac for 12 years because of depression. My old man had undiagnosed depression and I believe Grandparents who I never knew were the same.
    I started to read about Buddhism and how it can greatly improve your quality of life. I found it's been hijacked like many other religions and turned into a monster but you can take some basic teachings and apply them to everyday life.
    Very simply....

    1)Do what makes you happy but don't hurt others. If it's not quite what others want then tough. You are the important one, life is very short.
    2)Forget all negative **** from the past...it's gone.
    3)Live in the present..right NOW, not 5 minutes ago or ten years ago..it's gone. The ONLY reality in life is NOW.
    4)Don't stress about the future..it'll seldom turn out how you want and that will only create disappointment.
    5)Forgive people, you're only hurting yourself with negative or angry emotions.

    5 simple rules which at first glance may look like superficial crap but think about, and apply, each one and your life will change.
    If anybody thinks these simple rules may help can I stress number 3 is by far the most effective. Learn what it means to live in the present and apply it.

    Once again I apologise if this isn't really relevant to the growing thread but thought it worth putting out there.

  8. #847
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    I often feel like you do at this time of year.

    Sometimes I think that we are more in tune with our natural environment than we are allowed to admit. Round about this time of year, with the equinox approaching, our natural selves are preparing for winter, but society demands that we still run at 100%.

    So, as our energy levels are dropping, our activity isn't. That leads to more anxiety, self-reproach and, as you say, self-loathing.

    My approach in September/October is to try and squeeze as much fresh air and, more importantly, light into my batteries to prepare for the darker days ahead. It's not easy when you have a job and personal commitments, I know, but I find it worth the effort.





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    I’ve read you saying something similar before. I work nights and as the days get shorter i obviously see less daylight. I’m definitely going to give it a go, even if it’s going out into the garden for a while.
    Thanks.

    United we stand here....

  9. #848
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lord bunberry View Post
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    I’ve read you saying something similar before. I work nights and as the days get shorter i obviously see less daylight. I’m definitely going to give it a go, even if it’s going out into the garden for a while.
    Thanks.
    Maybe think about a lightbox. I use one during the day after the clocks change.

    They're not ideal if you work nights, as they can keep you awake when you don't want to be. But you can play around with your routine.

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  10. #849
    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    I often feel like you do at this time of year.

    Sometimes I think that we are more in tune with our natural environment than we are allowed to admit. Round about this time of year, with the equinox approaching, our natural selves are preparing for winter, but society demands that we still run at 100%.

    So, as our energy levels are dropping, our activity isn't. That leads to more anxiety, self-reproach and, as you say, self-loathing.

    My approach in September/October is to try and squeeze as much fresh air and, more importantly, light into my batteries to prepare for the darker days ahead. It's not easy when you have a job and personal commitments, I know, but I find it worth the effort.





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    There is definitely something in this. I often feel a lot more unhappy and just generally down in the winter months. I haven't quite reached that stage just yet but once the clocks go back at the end of October I really struggle until around the middle-end of February.

    I'm really not a fan of winter and the dark nights when it's dark by about 4pm.

    I agree it is very important to get out as much as you can during daylight hours during those months. It's not always easy but that's how I've helped my mood during winter.

  11. #850
    I usually take vit D through the winter as I work outside so it’s a bit of a shock to lose the sun!

  12. #851
    Testimonial Due wpj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lord bunberry View Post
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    Currently struggling. Been doing so well recently, but can’t face to even look at myself right now. Why does it change so quickly. Self loathing is something I’ve never been able get rid off.
    Lord B, please use this forum for support and also professional help. I have had an absolute James hunt of a year but yesterday cuddling my cat while she went to sleep has finally allowed me to cry, as in life Lila has sussed me out. I'm in bits but somehow finally dealing with all the other stuff. Take care pal and contact me or the others who have said so, we are all stronger together. For anyone looking in dont suffer alone. Take care y'all

  13. #852
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wpj View Post
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    Lord B, please use this forum for support and also professional help. I have had an absolute James hunt of a year but yesterday cuddling my cat while she went to sleep has finally allowed me to cry, as in life Lila has sussed me out. I'm in bits but somehow finally dealing with all the other stuff. Take care pal and contact me or the others who have said so, we are all stronger together. For anyone looking in dont suffer alone. Take care y'all
    Thanks for that mate.

    United we stand here....

  14. #853
    Another who struggles at this time of year. I just always seem drained.

    My issue is I'm doing 55-60 hour weeks at the moment, have a 1 year old daughter and am trying to balance the books with nursery fees and the like. I'm not totally sure if I'm just feeling the stresses everyone feels in life or something more. I'm forcing myself to go out running and trying to make sure I eat well and so on but I'm getting the irritable, contrary, sulky way I get when I know I'm not doing well.
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  15. #854
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Another who struggles at this time of year. I just always seem drained.

    My issue is I'm doing 55-60 hour weeks at the moment, have a 1 year old daughter and am trying to balance the books with nursery fees and the like. I'm not totally sure if I'm just feeling the stresses everyone feels in life or something more. I'm forcing myself to go out running and trying to make sure I eat well and so on but I'm getting the irritable, contrary, sulky way I get when I know I'm not doing well.
    Here's another take on your situation, PB.

    You know that this time of year is tough for you. You also know that, generally, things do get better at some point. That self-awareness is a great asset to have.

    Sometimes, doing all the right things like diet and exercise just isn't enough.

    Accepting that you are who you are, good stuff and *****, can be a good tool for helping you through the tough times. I often use the mantra "this will pass" ..... because it nearly always does.

    And the next time I have a good day, I soak it all up and store that memory to remind me, when life gets crap, that it will get better.

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  16. #855
    @hibs.net private member Dalianwanda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Here's another take on your situation, PB.

    You know that this time of year is tough for you. You also know that, generally, things do get better at some point. That self-awareness is a great asset to have.

    Sometimes, doing all the right things like diet and exercise just isn't enough.

    Accepting that you are who you are, good stuff and *****, can be a good tool for helping you through the tough times. I often use the mantra "this will pass" ..... because it nearly always does.

    And the next time I have a good day, I soak it all up and store that memory to remind me, when life gets crap, that it will get better.

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    I mind being at a stag which was pretty full on. One guy wrote ‘This shall pass’ on his knuckles for when he woke up with ‘the fear’..perfect reminder

    Truth is, thoughts are temporary and so are emotions...They keep on moving if we see them for what they are and come back to true self.

    Not that i always do.

  17. #856
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Another who struggles at this time of year. I just always seem drained.

    My issue is I'm doing 55-60 hour weeks at the moment, have a 1 year old daughter and am trying to balance the books with nursery fees and the like. I'm not totally sure if I'm just feeling the stresses everyone feels in life or something more. I'm forcing myself to go out running and trying to make sure I eat well and so on but I'm getting the irritable, contrary, sulky way I get when I know I'm not doing well.
    I'm off work just now feeling the same, first time in my life I've experienced it and the feeling of tiredness/exhaustion is unreal. The thing that's really got me is feeling guilty about it, there's so much that I normally do without thinking twice that I feel that I can't be bothered with - for example I was getting into a really good exercise routine in the evenings but I can't bring myself to do it, like as soon as I think about it my brain is just telling me I'm too tired and can't. Same with studying, I feel like the text book weighs a ton and so it's literally sat in my car for the last month.
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  18. #857
    Testimonial Due wpj's Avatar
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    As I have posted previously I have had a horrible year and the sciatica I thought had gone has come back. Have to go back to work but there's no way i can do a full day with this pain. Also wating for another op, third one this year. Love Autumn but just beaten up with stuff at the moment. As I said putting my darling cat to sleep on Thursday has unleashed a torrent of emotion that has been building all year. But, it will pass, a great phrase to keep in mind thanks.

  19. #858
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    See that Cummings thread is stirring up some comments around mental health “mentally unwell” and “not right in the head” type comments. Added to the window lickers and puddle drinkers I know it’s a football forum but I hope there will come a time when we live in more enlightened times.
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  20. #859
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VivaPalmeiras View Post
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    See that Cummings thread is stirring up some comments around mental health “mentally unwell” and “not right in the head” type comments. Added to the window lickers and puddle drinkers I know it’s a football forum but I hope there will come a time when we live in more enlightened times.
    With you on that.

    It's an easy option to use that language to describe people's actions. Cummings, Trump, the Pilot Wings guy... just a few examples. It's stigmatising and, for people who are struggling, not helpful at all.

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  21. #860
    @hibs.net private member Dalianwanda's Avatar
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    I've just put up a very short article for anyone suffering from panic/anxiety attacks https://bit.ly/2CJnMwO

  22. #861
    @hibs.net private member stu in nottingham's Avatar
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    Interesting article on the BBC website today.

    I have a strong suspicion that mental health problem are far more prevalent in professional football than is commonly imagined. The public sometimes view a stereotype of the rich, spoiled and cossetted footballer but I feel the rank and file professionals that form the majority of players are under many and varied pressures which can affect their well-being. Nor is the culture around the game especially conducive to those professionals discussing their problems and obtaining the appropriate support.

    Marvin Sordell calls for full-time counsellors in football clubs

  23. #862
    @hibs.net private member Pagan Hibernia's Avatar
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    Hi all, finally plucked up the courage to post in this thread after months of looking in (I’ve read every single page of it).

    ive been down lately, can’t put my finger on why, as many of you will know there often isn’t a reason... just a general malaise and feelings of worthlessness, loneliness etc. It happens periodically. Social anxiety too, and I’ve started attending a monthly support group for this. I also take on board the stuff in recent posts here about the change in seasons having an effect. I actually enjoy autumn with the cooler weather and the colours of the trees etc but the darker evenings are certainly tough.

    Anyway, just wanted to say hello, as the thread was starting to slip down the board a wee bit and it’s been a huge help to me, so much good advice and inspiration (as well as some desperately sad stories), from people who know what they’re talking about. Thanks to all of you for it.

    Cheers

  24. #863
    Quote Originally Posted by Easter Rising View Post
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    Hi all, finally plucked up the courage to post in this thread after months of looking in (I’ve read every single page of it).

    ive been down lately, can’t put my finger on why, as many of you will know there often isn’t a reason... just a general malaise and feelings of worthlessness, loneliness etc. It happens periodically. Social anxiety too, and I’ve started attending a monthly support group for this. I also take on board the stuff in recent posts here about the change in seasons having an effect. I actually enjoy autumn with the cooler weather and the colours of the trees etc but the darker evenings are certainly tough.

    Anyway, just wanted to say hello, as the thread was starting to slip down the board a wee bit and it’s been a huge help to me, so much good advice and inspiration (as well as some desperately sad stories), from people who know what they’re talking about. Thanks to all of you for it.

    Cheers
    Good on you for plucking up the courage to post. That 1st step in any setting is always the toughest.

    How are you finding the support groups for the social anxiety? I found talking a great help with my anxiety to help rationalise all the weird feelings and thoughts. I was always obsessed with knowing my nearest escape route was, kmowing where the toilet was, feeling like I was going to faint, collapse with a cardiac arrest and so on. I found ot quite amazing how common it sppears to be.
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  25. #864
    @hibs.net private member Pagan Hibernia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Good on you for plucking up the courage to post. That 1st step in any setting is always the toughest.

    How are you finding the support groups for the social anxiety? I found talking a great help with my anxiety to help rationalise all the weird feelings and thoughts. I was always obsessed with knowing my nearest escape route was, kmowing where the toilet was, feeling like I was going to faint, collapse with a cardiac arrest and so on. I found ot quite amazing how common it sppears to be.

    Thanks mate.

    yes I’m finding it worthwhile, though it’s early days, only been the last couple of months (went to one last year but bottled it and didn’t go again for 12 months). talking to others who feel similar, if not the same thoughts is certainly helpful and that pressure and fear of not wanting to embarrass myself or make a fool of myself every time I open my mouth is lessened by the fact the others feel the same way. Still waiting to see how it helps me in my everyday life.

    Your last sentence strikes a chord too. The first thing the organizer of the group said to me was that one in eight people suffer social anxiety in some capacity. Hard to believe. I’ve often seen the many extroverts at work and in the pub and wondered what the hell was wrong with me.*

    *i know many extroverts suffer mental health problems too. You just never know what’s going on behind the laughter.

  26. #865
    @hibs.net private member SRHibs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreenNWhiteArmy View Post
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    This has been happening to me as well... did you ever find a way to control it mate?

    Reluctant to take the meds again due to certain side effects but can't say my overall mood has improved
    Did you stick with it? My symptoms have faded greatly and I’m more “myself” now, with less of the fluctuating emotions.


  27. #866
    Coaching Staff HUTCHYHIBBY's Avatar
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    Quite an interesting programme on SKY last night about depression, McAteer : Through the Storm, well worth a watch.

  28. #867
    Testimonial Due LustForLeith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boy View Post
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    Another who struggles at this time of year. I just always seem drained.

    My issue is I'm doing 55-60 hour weeks at the moment, have a 1 year old daughter and am trying to balance the books with nursery fees and the like. I'm not totally sure if I'm just feeling the stresses everyone feels in life or something more. I'm forcing myself to go out running and trying to make sure I eat well and so on but I'm getting the irritable, contrary, sulky way I get when I know I'm not doing well.
    I was in that boat when I first became a dad. It’s an absolute struggle to prepare mentally for being a parent. The responsibility that you face mentally, phyiscailly and finically to say the least are unreal. At the height of our child care woes we were paying almost £1000 a month on nursery and after school care. It’s reduced to about £200 now. I’d love to say weee better off but I’d be lying!

    It’s sad to see that so many people on here suffer from mental health issues but it’s also great to see that so many of us are talking about it or doing something about it.

    I’ve said it before but the Changing Room programme run with SAMH and Hibs massively impressed me when I took part in it. People can sign up for this. I’m still pals with the folk I met on it and I’d like to think that we’re there for each other if we need help.

  29. #868
    The Open University has a free course available right now on understanding depression and anxiety.

    Hopefully it's of use to some on here.

  30. #869
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    First time speaking about this to any1 but my family but it’s become clear that I’m struggling with Health Anxiety, I’m not sure how severe it is for me but I know I definitely have a problem with it and it’s been like this for the past 6 months I’d say. I’m not anxious about becoming ill with everyday illness I’m more concerned about any type of cancer and I’m scared for my future aswell. I’m convincing myself that any little change in is an early sign of it and I’m straight to my GP, I can tell they are becoming a little fed up of me but I can’t help it. I would like to know if any1 can point me in the right direction of a good CBT therapist as I think this might be the way to go. Sorry if this post is bringing issues back up with others I’m just looking to get some help. Thanks in advance

  31. #870
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keyser Sauzee View Post
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    First time speaking about this to any1 but my family but it’s become clear that I’m struggling with Health Anxiety, I’m not sure how severe it is for me but I know I definitely have a problem with it and it’s been like this for the past 6 months I’d say. I’m not anxious about becoming ill with everyday illness I’m more concerned about any type of cancer and I’m scared for my future aswell. I’m convincing myself that any little change in is an early sign of it and I’m straight to my GP, I can tell they are becoming a little fed up of me but I can’t help it. I would like to know if any1 can point me in the right direction of a good CBT therapist as I think this might be the way to go. Sorry if this post is bringing issues back up with others I’m just looking to get some help. Thanks in advance
    Think Dalianwanda on here is a therapist. He might be able to help.

    I've sent you a PM :)

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