Depression and anxiety

[Greenworld]

I too unsually for summer am running a roller coaster of emotions utter depths of depression one day then fully positve the next followed quickly by a down. On the down days I do not want to speak to anyone and almost go into a trance. Thought it had gone from me as I had a long spell of being in a good place . Good luck its nice to know your not alone

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[Hibby D]

This is such a good thread - I ain't a man, honest but I see some of my own issues in many of the experiences shared in this thread.

I just wanted to thank you all for your honesty, and bravery (I hope that doesn't sound too patronising or condescending) As someone mentioned above, for every one of you/us who posts, there's probably several more hovering around and hopefully feeling inspired, and consoled, by what everyone has to share.

[Keith_M]

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This is such a good thread - I ain't a man, honest but I see some of my own issues in many of the experiences shared in this thread.

I just wanted to thank you all for your honesty, and bravery (I hope that doesn't sound too patronising or condescending) As someone mentioned above, for every one of you/us who posts, there's probably several more hovering around and hopefully feeling inspired, and consoled, by what everyone has to share.

Not at all, D. Much appreciated.




I actually felt a bit guilty that the thread is very much Male Oriented but I'm sure some of it will be useful to Women suffering similar problems.

I might be wrong in this [I usually am ;)] but I've found that men are generally less inclined to admit to depression, so it's good that there is at least one place guys can come to and discuss it without being judged.

[MSK]

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This is such a good thread - I ain't a man, honest but I see some of my own issues in many of the experiences shared in this thread.

I just wanted to thank you all for your honesty, and bravery (I hope that doesn't sound too patronising or condescending) As someone mentioned above, for every one of you/us who posts, there's probably several more hovering around and hopefully feeling inspired, and consoled, by what everyone has to share.

Absolutley not, I think there is the stigma attached to depression & anxiety, folk are scared/shy to force or share their feelings upon others, particularly on an internet forum & it very much becomes a taboo subject.

I suppose, and thinking back to when I lived with depression, it wasn't the fear of disclosing it to others but more the fear of myself, everything outwith my "bubble" either didn't exist or was an "enemy" a denial perhaps that was deeply embedded into my train of deep negative thought. On reading & contributing to this thread its warming to think that although most are strangers to myself & others, we are all fighting the same demons, all at different degrees but all willing to share stories/feelings.

Heart warming indeed ...

[Liam89]

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Sorry to hear that mate, anxiety is a tricky one, Ive been & still am in the same boat as you. After a recent health issue I started having anxiety attacks, some for fairly prolonged periods & almost impossible to control, I see them as "tidal" they tend to come in waves, some mornings I wake up & have the nauseus feeling in my stomach then the dark thoughts. Breathing techniques do tend to relieve the panic side for a period but the nausea & darkness remain for up to a day or so, sometimes longer.

I always use the analogy that with depression you care or worry about absolutely nothing, but with anxiety you care & worry about absolutely everything, no matter how trivial.

Thankfully I have good support from my GP & on my days off work I try to get as much exercise done as I feel that tends to reduce my anxiety too. Thus far Ive had far more good days than bad days & as days go by I feel the anxiety reducing. Try & get GP advice, even if its just talking to him/her, you may find that may help.

Good luck mate, its a horrible thing to go through.

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I too unsually for summer am running a roller coaster of emotions utter depths of depression one day then fully positve the next followed quickly by a down. On the down days I do not want to speak to anyone and almost go into a trance. Thought it had gone from me as I had a long spell of being in a good place . Good luck its nice to know your not alone

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I can certainly relate to the tidal feeling of it. Some days I wake up feeling fresh and happy only to realise that I should be worrying about something! Might sound crazy but thats how it is for me at the moment. Cheers for the advice though HH, I've taking up cycling again to relieve some stress, definitely helps and would recommend it to anyone struggling mentally.

I know exactly what you mean by being in a trance like state, recently I've caught myself feeling like this whilst with my family and SO and they can definitely tell I'm not how I used to be, I'm not ready to confide in them yet though. Hopefully it'll pass!

[Greenworld]

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I can certainly relate to the tidal feeling of it. Some days I wake up feeling fresh and happy only to realise that I should be worrying about something! Might sound crazy but thats how it is for me at the moment. Cheers for the advice though HH, I've taking up cycling again to relieve some stress, definitely helps and would recommend it to anyone struggling mentally.

I know exactly what you mean by being in a trance like state, recently I've caught myself feeling like this whilst with my family and SO and they can definitely tell I'm not how I used to be, I'm not ready to confide in them yet though. Hopefully it'll pass!

I have been dealing with depression after a major bout around 9 years ago liam89 I went to counselling which helped me a lot as i was in a bad place that I would not wish on anyone.
I deal with what I have now on a day to day basis but thankfully can go months feeling ok.
Drinking is a big downer for me good at the time but usually follows on with a big depression the following morning huge guilt trips even though ive done nothing.
Excercise is good as is trying to be around people, even though all your instincts want you to hide away alone..
Good luck mate always happy to try and help in anyway I can with advice or just someone to bounce how your feeling off.

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[MSK]

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I can certainly relate to the tidal feeling of it. Some days I wake up feeling fresh and happy only to realise that I should be worrying about something! Might sound crazy but thats how it is for me at the moment. Cheers for the advice though HH, I've taking up cycling again to relieve some stress, definitely helps and would recommend it to anyone struggling mentally.

I know exactly what you mean by being in a trance like state, recently I've caught myself feeling like this whilst with my family and SO and they can definitely tell I'm not how I used to be, I'm not ready to confide in them yet though. Hopefully it'll pass!

Not crazy at all mate, & I totally get where you are. I love my holidays & a couple of months back myself & my Wife went to Italy, I was an absolute wreck on the lead up to the holiday, to the point I was trying to find an excuse to cancel it. However I saw it as part of my ongoing rehab & a chance to rebuild my confidence & mental strength so I just gritted the teeth & went for it.

It did come with issues though, as the taxi picked us up at 0400am I went into complete anxiety/panic mode, I couldn't do it, I was hyperventilating, sweating, nausea, the lot .I scraped myself off the walls & got into that bloody taxi, I wasn't letting this beat me no matter what. That was my Wifes holiday too, she works her ass of & she needs a break aswell. She has also been my rock throughout so I was determined to fight this tooth & nail. I had a couple of wobbles whilst away but got through it.

Don't be scared to confide in your family either, you may feel you are being a burden but sometimes that extra ear could be the one that supports & gets you through this mate.

You will ..

[Sylar]

This is usually a time of the year when I'm incredibly relaxed and much more light-hearted - our students are all away for the summer and I get some quality time to myself to get on with research - our campus is quiet so there's not any queuing for lunch or coffee, or general bustle; the traffic into work is lighter and getting parked is easy (it's the small things). Like Pretty Boy, my hayfever gets really bad at this time of the year and combined with chronic gastric reflux, my mind can too wander to places of serious self-diagnoses, only to reign myself back in and give myself a slap.

This summer has been a ferocious whammy of problems though that just keep coming - I had a three day spin in early July where I was diagnosed as being asthmatic on the Monday, experienced significant family trouble from afar on the Tuesday and then was rejected for what would have been a life-changing career jump when everything looked so positive on the Wednesday. To say I was down, verging on maniacal/hysterial would be an understatement. My usual "out" is baseball but there have been so many problems and politics in our club this year that even that is a chore!

Based on how I've been feeling of late, I don't think I've fully recovered from everything - I buried myself in work to try and distract myself (after eventually convincing myself that the job rejection didn't make me a total failure, though this is common in people who've undergone a PhD - the thoughts of perfectionism and the Fraud Police are never far away). I've chipped away at work and have slowly begun applying for jobs again (current contract runs out in March so I'm in a bit of a looming panic) but constantly feel a sense of unease. Yesterday, I decided to pop up to Tesco (roughly 20 miles to our nearest big one) and on that drive, everyone on the road was annoying me in some way. That unyielding sense of irritation followed me around a busy Tesco with a lot of people just stopping, wandering right in front of me and generally getting in the road and I thought I was going to lash out at someone at one point - I eventually took my basket into the cafe and got a cup of green tea for 15 minutes and felt immediately better.

I hate feeling constantly irritable but there's no shaking it. It's making things that wouldn't normally annoy me, properly rattle me. For example, I usually game online in the evenings with a group of friends (virtually) - the other night, we were playing against a much better team and after I was killed for the umpteenth time, I was so angry I used a homophobic slur that to this day I can't get my head around - in that heat, my brain went for the most aggresive, offensive word it could find and out it came - I'm not homophobic in any way, shape or form! I immediately muted my mic and enforced a subsequent online gaming ban til I felt better but that hasn't quite arrived yet!

It's always nice to know I'm not going mad and that other people experience similar sentiments on a daily basis!

[Stranraer]

Thought I'd share some of my recent experiences. As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, my mood can change several times in a day. One minute I hate you, the next I love you.

I found that by learning about my disorder it's a bit easier to control and understand.

My consultant has me on Seroquel at 800mg, Sertraline at 200mg and Chlorpromazine at 25mg but he is confident that as I continue to learn that the symptoms may become less severe.

A word of advice also: I bought the Borderline personality disorder survival guide on Amazon. There are several books by the same publishers on things like Depression, anxiety, PTSD so take a look folks if you are struggling.

P.S. Sorry to the admins for being too forward in the past.

Andy

[andrew70]

Has anyone experienced CranioSacral Therapy (CST)? I have been advised to try it.

My psychiatrist is going to change some of my medication so I am currently going through a weaning down process in order to start me on a new tablet.

Maybe happiness and pain relief is in the same place though?

I am tired, fed up and frustrated of not only feeling depressed but in constant agony all over my body.

The doctor's believe it is all anxiety related symptoms off the back of my depression.

This is the worst bout that I can remember coming up a year and a half now and still no sign of improvement in mood or otherwise. In fact I'd say my mood is the lowest it's ever been.

So hopefully this CST can help.

[s.a.m]

At the Book Festival yesterday, I was flicking through this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Reasons-Stay.../dp/1782115080

I haven't read it through, so I'm not in a position to recommend or otherwise, but on my skim-read, I saw quite a lot in his story which looked like it might be recognisable to some of the contributors to this thread: in particular, his experience with anxiety. In brief, he has a history of severe depressive illness, and had reached rock-bottom in his mid-twenties. Seems to be a story of hope and recovery. Easy to read, too.

The Book Festival has "Staying Well" as one of its themes this year:
https://www.edbookfest.co.uk/the-fes...ng-well?page=1
Most of the relevant events are sold out, unhelpfully....

[Mikey09]

Struggling like **** with my Bipolar right now. Last episode was a long time ago and this has come right out the blue, as they all do I suppose. I have my routine that I stick to re eating, sleep, exercise but finding it very hard to do this as I'm up and down. Basically all over the place. Manic one minute then crashing within an hour or two which leaves me exhausted. Been through this so many times and I know it will pass but it's so frustrating. Impacts on my work, family life...everything. Racing thoughts, can't sleep, exhausted, that ****in feeling in my stomach that something horrible is gonna happen. Hate this. It's ****. Just thought I'd share...

[CropleyWasGod]

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Struggling like **** with my Bipolar right now. Last episode was a long time ago and this has come right out the blue, as they all do I suppose. I have my routine that I stick to re eating, sleep, exercise but finding it very hard to do this as I'm up and down. Basically all over the place. Manic one minute then crashing within an hour or two which leaves me exhausted. Been through this so many times and I know it will pass but it's so frustrating. Impacts on my work, family life...everything. Racing thoughts, can't sleep, exhausted, that ****in feeling in my stomach that something horrible is gonna happen. Hate this. It's ****. Just thought I'd share...

Sorry to hear that.

The bit in bold. That's important, IMO. The more I crash, the more I'm able to hang on to that one wee nugget. I try to think of it as a "physical" illness..... in those situations, we accept our illness, and wait for Nature to take its course and heal us.

In emotional issues, although our thinking processes are of course all over the place, I find it helpful to find ways of saying "I can do nothing about this.... I have to kick back and let my mind heal itself."

Hope you feel better soon.

[Canon Hannan]

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Anyone else have these problems? My old man is from the old brigade who thinks pull yourself together is the answer. Never used to be like this and time in the army hasn't helped. However, I'm not afraid to admit things and feel no stigma in being affected by this.

Just wondering if other people here have had problems associated with these issues? I personally can get low and worry about things that many people wouldn't even give much a thought about! I'm on anti depressants but don't want to be on them forever. Has there been other things that people find useful?

Cheers

Sorry to hear your pain.

From my experience and others I have met- alcohol is often the underlying problem. Stopping this will help with anxiety issues, depression and general fitness and wellbeing. AA meetings can support people.

[Canon Hannan]

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Has anyone experienced CranioSacral Therapy (CST)? I have been advised to try it.

My psychiatrist is going to change some of my medication so I am currently going through a weaning down process in order to start me on a new tablet.

Maybe happiness and pain relief is in the same place though?

I am tired, fed up and frustrated of not only feeling depressed but in constant agony all over my body.

The doctor's believe it is all anxiety related symptoms off the back of my depression.

This is the worst bout that I can remember coming up a year and a half now and still no sign of improvement in mood or otherwise. In fact I'd say my mood is the lowest it's ever been.

So hopefully this CST can help.

Hi there

CST works for some people. It is amazing but brought back memories stored in my head! I decided to buy a surf board and experience happiness through the sea/waves and outdoor activities. We have great beaches/waves in Scotland. It worked better than medicine. Hope that helps. Have a look http://magicseaweed.com/

[Mikey09]

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Sorry to hear that.

The bit in bold. That's important, IMO. The more I crash, the more I'm able to hang on to that one wee nugget. I try to think of it as a "physical" illness..... in those situations, we accept our illness, and wait for Nature to take its course and heal us.

In emotional issues, although our thinking processes are of course all over the place, I find it helpful to find ways of saying "I can do nothing about this.... I have to kick back and let my mind heal itself."

Hope you feel better soon.

I know I will feel better soon Crops. I think since I've not had an episode, as my doc calls them, for a while I'm probably feeling a bit sorry for myself! Love that wee bit in bold.... Will certainly be thinking of it like that.
Thanks mate.

[CropleyWasGod]

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I know I will feel better soon Crops. I think since I've not had an episode, as my doc calls them, for a while I'm probably feeling a bit sorry for myself! Love that wee bit in bold.... Will certainly be thinking of it like that.
Thanks mate.

... and that's allowed.

[Stranraer]

Online abuse on social media has made my BPD flare up like mad again, anger outbursts etc. My CPN says I'm to see a "Forensic Psychologist" (anyone know what / why that could be?)

As well as the 800 mg of Seroquel the Shrink put me on 75mg Chlorpromazine. I should change my username to Stranraer zombie but there's loads of Huns going around here.

[patch1875]

Weird I've noticed this tread today.

Was at the docs with what I suspect is anxiety, been suffering for a few weeks with a groin strain which itself is very draining but the last couple my mind is playing havoc with thinking my condition is worse than what it is so much so I spend virtually all day and night thinking about it. I sort of know it's nothing but cant get it out of the cycle of analysing it.

My big problem is I work for myself alone so not much to distract me away from it, anyway doc was good sending off a blood sample and pee test just to confirm there is nothing untoward I think all I need is the reassurance.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Weird I've noticed this tread today.

Was at the docs with what I suspect is anxiety, been suffering for a few weeks with a groin strain which itself is very draining but the last couple my mind is playing havoc with thinking my condition is worse than what it is so much so I spend virtually all day and night thinking about it. I sort of know it's nothing but cant get it out of the cycle of analysing it.

My big problem is I work for myself alone so not much to distract me away from it, anyway doc was good sending off a blood sample and pee test just to confirm there is nothing untoward I think all I need is the reassurance.

Looks like I'm the resident consultant on this thread today :)

I've seen it written that "depression is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that the body has tried to be too strong for too long".

With your physical issues, allied to your worries about what it might be, and the usual stresses of life....you might have just reached a tipping point.

I can empathise about being self employed. ....it can be a curse when you start living inside your own head.


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[Hibee_Lisa]

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Online abuse on social media has made my BPD flare up like mad again, anger outbursts etc. My CPN says I'm to see a "Forensic Psychologist" (anyone know what / why that could be?)

As well as the 800 mg of Seroquel the Shrink put me on 75mg Chlorpromazine. I should change my username to Stranraer zombie but there's loads of Huns going around here.

My thoughts were that a forensic psychologist was to do with mental health for offenders.

I too suffer from bpd and depression which has hit me hard recently, I had been doing well back at work for nearly a year now without any absence and day to day life wasn't bad. I find it so frustrating that I think things are going fine then out of nowhere I'm hitting a low, hating myself and just wanting to sleep to forget. Thoughts that haven't been with me for a while now (self h) now start to creep back in!

[Stranraer]

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My thoughts were that a forensic psychologist was to do with mental health for offenders.

I too suffer from bpd and depression which has hit me hard recently, I had been doing well back at work for nearly a year now without any absence and day to day life wasn't bad. I find it so frustrating that I think things are going fine then out of nowhere I'm hitting a low, hating myself and just wanting to sleep to forget. Thoughts that haven't been with me for a while now (self h) now start to creep back in!

Sorry to hear that the old sh has come back recently - I'm in the same boat and whats worse is the nurses are getting fed up with me going into the hospital. I always find that no matter how angry or depressed I get, I take it out on myself... always, which makes me worry about the forensic psychology thing

[patch1875]

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Looks like I'm the resident consultant on this thread today :)

I've seen it written that "depression is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that the body has tried to be too strong for too long".

With your physical issues, allied to your worries about what it might be, and the usual stresses of life....you might have just reached a tipping point.

I can empathise about being self employed. ....it can be a curse when you start living inside your own head.


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I've always enjoyed my own company but I suppose it can affect you mentally after a while, I have felt like this before as my groin is made of chocolate! but managed to get my head around it. Although I don't find really painful it's very tiring which I reckon triggers the mind into thinking the worse( I've had testiclar and prostate cancer and diabetes thoughts so far) hopefully the all clear will put this out of my mind.

Certainly didn't think would be something that would happen to me I'm 43 and usually easy going and care free with a nice happy life. Sympathise with the other posters as my issues are relatively small in comparison at the moment but it's certainly opened my eyes.

[Mikey09]

Day 3 of my Bipolar episode. Still getting some highs but mostly lows. Forced myself out of bed this morning and gonna take the dog a walk to get some peace and quiet as well as fresh air. Fingers crossed it will start to pass soon. Posting on here helps so using it as a day to day diary. I know your probably not meant to but hey ho....

[lord bunberry]

I've been on a real downer for months now. I get a few days of feeling great then it's back to feeling really low again. I'd started going to the gym again and that helped, but everything feels like a struggle and most days I can't be bothered doing anything. I'm basically working and sleeping. Today is a good day and I'm planning to give my self a good kick up the arse and get myself motivated.

[CropleyWasGod]

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I've been on a real downer for months now. I get a few days of feeling great then it's back to feeling really low again. I'd started going to the gym again and that helped, but everything feels like a struggle and most days I can't be bothered doing anything. I'm basically working and sleeping. Today is a good day and I'm planning to give my self a good kick up the arse and get myself motivated.

I alluded to this in Mikey's situation.

As men, we're not very good at being "kind" to ourselves. The KUPTA approach always seems to be more "masculine".

Of course, you know yourself best, and will know how that works with you, but I know that, sometimes, just being nice to myself works wonders.

[lord bunberry]

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I alluded to this in Mikey's situation.

As men, we're not very good at being "kind" to ourselves. The KUPTA approach always seems to be more "masculine".

Of course, you know yourself best, and will know how that works with you, but I know that, sometimes, just being nice to myself works wonders.

The kick up the arse has to be the first step for me to get myself into a positive frame of mind and out the house. Once I'm up and about I can think about being nice and treating myself.

[Pete]

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I've been on a real downer for months now. I get a few days of feeling great then it's back to feeling really low again. I'd started going to the gym again and that helped, but everything feels like a struggle and most days I can't be bothered doing anything. I'm basically working and sleeping. Today is a good day and I'm planning to give my self a good kick up the arse and get myself motivated.

Get yourself back on nightshift. It's party central at the tron.

[lord bunberry]

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Get yourself back on nightshift. It's party central at the tron.

I'm still doing nights, just not as many

[Mikey09]

Day 4 of this episode. Not slept all night. Having to phone in sick as my job involves life guarding so would be putting others in danger not being alert. This is the point I could easily lock myself in my bedroom and slip into the old ways of dealing with this... Can't and won't do that though. Highs and lows seem to be levelling out more but the racing thoughts keeping me awake at night. Will walk the dog later and try to relax a bit. Cheers...