Depression and anxiety

[hibsbollah]

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Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

[CropleyWasGod]

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A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

... and the minute you get back to work, you'll wish you were off again

It's a familiar thing, that we want what we don't have. As if "that" will provide happiness.

The ability to be content with what we have is a very difficult thing to develop..

[lord bunberry]

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Best piece of advice I can give anyone struggling with their mental health at Christmas is don't get caught up in the hype of having to have the 'perfect Christmas'. If you had flu or broke you arm you wouldn't give a second thought to having a quieter Christmas so why should a mental health issue be different?

I've been lucky in that I've had the best part of 2 years of feeling good but I still find Christmas a bit overwhelming at times. I always try to find 15 minutes here and there just to gather my thoughts and get away from all the colour, noise etc.

The problem with that is that with a broken arm its a visible problem that others can see and cut you some slack. I'm finding it pretty difficult to get into the Christmas spirit, but I've not finished up for the holidays yet. I know I will be fine as seeing my daughter so excited and being part of that will be the best pick me up I could ask for.

[stu in nottingham]

This time of year can provide a lot of difficulties. I read a Tweet with four simple helpful points yesterday and agreed with it. It was aimed at suicide survivors but I think it's good general advice, especially for those with depression and other mental health issues:

Don't take too much on.

Avoid being overwhelmed.

Limit your activities to those which you are interested in and able to do.

It is okay to say no.

Personally, i couldn't stomach the thought of Christmas and New Year this year. I've lost too much and my life has been stood on it's head and I don't care to celebrate. Maybe that will come back one day. It's only when you're practising avoidance of it that you realise the subtle and continual pressures to join in, especially commercial ones. For some reason one of the worst things for me was trying to do my weekly grocery shop in Sainsbury's and having to listen to insistent piped Christmas songs. I really couldn't wait to get out of the bloody place to be honest as it was making me perfectly miserable and acutely reminding me of my loss. I finished my shopping yesterday and won't be back until the New Year. It's all a bit cynical when you think about how many people have a rough time in the festive season.

I've perhaps surprised a couple of people by declining to meet and do the Christmas thing. I've no wish to upset anyone and in some ways its a hard thing to do but I have no regrets. At a very testing time I'm going to do everything in my power to protect myself. I am going to suggest to others that they look after themselves as much as possible in the same way.

Good luck and peace to all.

[Stranraer]

If anyone could let Phil D. Rolls know of my sincere apology of selfishness and manipulation I would appreciate it, I think I'm (quite rightly) on his ignore list.

<3Mozza

[Sylar]

This is a horrible time of the year at the best of times for both my family and in-laws but this year has an added dimension of problem to it.

A few years ago, we lost one of my grandparents on Christmas Eve - turns out that Christmas Eve is also one of my parents birthdays and it was their mum who died that day. Fast forward a couple of years more and my father in law lost his dad at the onset of December, also on his birthday...

At a time of year that's fraught with reminders of who isn't there, particularly on sentimental days such as birthday's, it's tough. Add into that, one of my immediate family has recently started counselling as they feel absolutely overwhelmed and feel totally down, withdrawn and quiet, speaking openly (which is a positive in its own right) about racing, cycling thoughts and a total lack of feeling. Spending time with said family member for the first time in a long while has been a bit of a haunting experience since coming back home for Christmas, particularly given my own personal battle with anxiety! One aspect of my own struggles I thought I had left behind was a prevalence of health related anxiety. However, the past few days I've had a pressure around my head, headache, relentless twitching in various parts of my body and a general sensation of imbalance and unsteadiness and my mind has been racing to some very dark places as to what it could be...

I like to think of myself as an intelligent, well-educated guy who 'should know better' but health anxiety is such an irrational and powerful problem that amplifies itself over time.

I often feel a bit overwhelmed reading this thread, feeling that my own battle is totally inconsequential to some of the particularly darkened **** that some of you deal with on a daily basis but I've been struggling a wee bit lately and being surrounded by a somewhat dark aura lately prompted me to post!

[s.a.m]

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This time of year can provide a lot of difficulties. I read a Tweet with four simple helpful points yesterday and agreed with it. It was aimed at suicide survivors but I think it's good general advice, especially for those with depression and other mental health issues:

Don't take too much on.

Avoid being overwhelmed.

Limit your activities to those which you are interested in and able to do.

It is okay to say no.

Personally, i couldn't stomach the thought of Christmas and New Year this year. I've lost too much and my life has been stood on it's head and I don't care to celebrate. Maybe that will come back one day. It's only when you're practising avoidance of it that you realise the subtle and continual pressures to join in, especially commercial ones. For some reason one of the worst things for me was trying to do my weekly grocery shop in Sainsbury's and having to listen to insistent piped Christmas songs. I really couldn't wait to get out of the bloody place to be honest as it was making me perfectly miserable and acutely reminding me of my loss. I finished my shopping yesterday and won't be back until the New Year. It's all a bit cynical when you think about how many people have a rough time in the festive season.

I've perhaps surprised a couple of people by declining to meet and do the Christmas thing. I've no wish to upset anyone and in some ways its a hard thing to do but I have no regrets. At a very testing time I'm going to do everything in my power to protect myself. I am going to suggest to others that they look after themselves as much as possible in the same way.

Good luck and peace to all.

Jings Stu...don't know what to say other than you're in my thoughts. And it's useful to be reminded at this time of the year that it brings difficulty to many. Best wishes to you and Sue's son and daughter at what must be a most difficult time. Best wishes to others on this thread too.

[stu in nottingham]

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Jings Stu...don't know what to say other than you're in my thoughts. And it's useful to be reminded at this time of the year that it brings difficulty to many. Best wishes to you and Sue's son and daughter at what must be a most difficult time. Best wishes to others on this thread too.

Cheers S.A.M and thanks for the kind thoughts. I just wanted to come on here and add my support of others because it's important to know others are going through this stuff as well. As others have alluded to, I want to reiterate the message that 'keeping up appearances' for Christmas when you're having a bad time is not a necessity nor obligatory. I keenly feel the real significance of Christmas being a Catholic with a faith but even having said that I want to maintain the message that it's just another day on the calendar and it's important to protect oneself from the difficult feelings that wash over you at this time. Sometimes it a 'learn as you go' as it appears to be with me right now.

Keep surviving. When you're on your knees, get up again and proceed slowly and with care. We are charged with looking after ourselves. That is the important thing even at this special time of year.

[stu in nottingham]

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I often feel a bit overwhelmed reading this thread, feeling that my own battle is totally inconsequential to some of the particularly darkened **** that some of you deal with on a daily basis but I've been struggling a wee bit lately and being surrounded by a somewhat dark aura lately prompted me to post!

Don't feel overwhelmed, Sylar. Your own issues with this time are as valid anyone else's on here. Keep contributing because we can all learn from each other here. Good luck and peace to you.

[Pete]

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My problem with cutting down my hours is that I will earn less money. I'm self employed as a taxi driver and I bought my own cab 4 years ago. I've been working long hours for the 4 years to pay for the finance that I took out. I'm not working to have extra money, it's just to cover the bills. I've got less than a year to go before the finance is all paid off and I'll be cutting my hours down dramatically when that happens, I'm looking at ways I can change things around a bit in the mean time.

I don't know your full situation but buying a cab or cab/plate is one hell of a pressure.

Every night you are basically going into an uncertain workplace with "earn £X, or else" in your head from the very start and you can only relax when you have achieved that target. Relax until the next shift that is.

Seven or even six nights constantly working with that nagging pressure isn't healthy. You have to have some sort of release.

[lord bunberry]

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I don't know your full situation but buying a cab or cab/plate is one hell of a pressure.

Every night you are basically going into an uncertain workplace with "earn £X, or else" in your head from the very start and you can only relax when you have achieved that target. Relax until the next shift that is.

Seven or even six nights constantly working with that nagging pressure isn't healthy. You have to have some sort of release.

That's pretty much how it's been for 4 years now and I've got to the stage were I can't do it anymore. I'm actually going to sell my position with City and just work the street(hopefully with the airport permit) that will give me a little breathing space, I'll also just work the cab myself which will mean I can pick and choose my hours a bit more.
Reading this thread is also really helpful, it's quite inspiring reading how others are coping with situations which are probably much worse than mine.

[lord bunberry]

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A weird thing for me is ive had a tough December and been counting the days for a long holiday with my family round me and more time spent in the house. Two days in and im missing the structure of work and feeling like im cooped up!

Peculiar.

I often get like that. I think its the routine change that does it for me. The best thing to do for me is get out of the house and do as much as possible. I'm actually going to get a dog, it will give me a reason to get outdoors more, and they're always happy to see you when you come home( unlike her indoors )

[hibsbollah]

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I often get like that. I think its the routine change that does it for me. The best thing to do for me is get out of the house and do as much as possible. I'm actually going to get a dog, it will give me a reason to get outdoors more, and they're always happy to see you when you come home( unlike her indoors )

Agreed. Blowing away the cobwebs outside is a good thing (as long as it doesn't incorporate Christmas shopping arghhh). I enjoy running which is great if you have that restless feeling. But I think a lot of people get a dog for the same reasons as you.

[lord bunberry]

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Agreed. Blowing away the cobwebs outside is a good thing (as long as it doesn't incorporate Christmas shopping arghhh). I enjoy running which is great if you have that restless feeling. But I think a lot of people get a dog for the same reasons as you.

I'm just off to do the last of my Christmas shopping, I've been putting it off for long enough and I'm running out of time

[lord bunberry]

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I've posted on this thread before but not in a while, just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

When I was in my mid/late teens I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety. I have been feeling absolutely great for the past few years however, met a great group of friends, was enjoying life more than I ever had. Then a few months ago it all came back and now it feels worse than it ever has before. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but it started around the same time I started my new job. The thing is it is a job I studied for and worked hard for but now that I've got it I think I've realised it's not what I want at all, and I hate what I am doing. Every day I dread going in and I lie awake thinking about it at night. There's been occasions when I've been in and out of the office on jobs during the day and I've burst into tears in my car. I know the "easy" solution is to leave, but I just feel like such a failure as I thought this was what I was going to do and now I know I don't want to or can't and I have no idea what else I am going to do instead. I find my thoughts going to dark places like hoping I'll be in a car crash rather than end up in the office.

The thing I also worry about is even if I do leave the job, what if it doesn't stop? What if it's not the job, but the way I am feeling is making it seem like it is?

I know there's no easy answer but just wanted to get some of that out there.

Is there any possibility that you could take a bit of time off your work? Sometimes I find it easier to think about things when(even temporarily) I can get away from it all for a while. Even if you still decide the jobs not for you it might help you think of an alternative strategy that will make you happier. As for those darker thoughts you're having I also find myself thinking similar. I put it down to looking for a way out of whatever is making you feel the way you are, not necessarily that you wish you involved in a car crash.
It's really easy for others to say but it's so true, money isn't everything, being happy is much more important.
Good luck and remember it helps to talk about things, even if it's on this thread.

[Stranraer]

Thinking of many at this time of the year, I've sent a couple of PM's but I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

With thanks to a new GP and 150mg of Zoloft and 600mg of Seroquel I am truly on the road to recovery.

[Mikey09]

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Thinking of many at this time of the year, I've sent a couple of PM's but I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

With thanks to a new GP and 150mg of Zoloft and 600mg of Seroquel I am truly on the road to recovery.

Good lad.... Remember.. It's hard work for all us looney's to live day to day, but it's worth the effort... Stick in

[Stranraer]

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I've posted on this thread before but not in a while, just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

When I was in my mid/late teens I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety. I have been feeling absolutely great for the past few years however, met a great group of friends, was enjoying life more than I ever had. Then a few months ago it all came back and now it feels worse than it ever has before. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but it started around the same time I started my new job. The thing is it is a job I studied for and worked hard for but now that I've got it I think I've realised it's not what I want at all, and I hate what I am doing. Every day I dread going in and I lie awake thinking about it at night. There's been occasions when I've been in and out of the office on jobs during the day and I've burst into tears in my car. I know the "easy" solution is to leave, but I just feel like such a failure as I thought this was what I was going to do and now I know I don't want to or can't and I have no idea what else I am going to do instead. I find my thoughts going to dark places like hoping I'll be in a car crash rather than end up in the office.

The thing I also worry about is even if I do leave the job, what if it doesn't stop? What if it's not the job, but the way I am feeling is making it seem like it is?

I know there's no easy answer but just wanted to get some of that out there.

Would you be able to take some time off or would you be willing to go and see your GP are would you rather not go down that root? When the mind travels to these dark places I think you must seek help. I hope you feel better and find the support you need. When I go back to the city where I studied I come back a wreck although I seem to enjoy it at the time, it's very odd.

[lord bunberry]

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Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

Well done you've taken the most important and hardest step.

[Mikey09]

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Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

In my humble opinion be honest with your GP mate. Don't hold anything back however anxious or embarrassed you feel. Get all your cards on the table and take it from there. Reading your previous post you seem to know where the problem lies re what is making you feel like ****. You're only 24 and have years ahead of you. If your work is making you feel like this and making you have these awful thoughts then there are so many avenues and opportunities to re train for something else. Life's to short to be miserable in our work place. I was so unhappy in the Police so went back to what I did before.... Lifeguarding and teaching kids and adults to swim.... I'm on half the salary I was on as a cop but I'm a million times happier. Let us know how you get on.....

[Stranraer]

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Thanks to the people who replied. I've finally worked up the courage to make an appointment with my GP next Monday, so will see how that goes. I think a part of me has always been worried I won't be taken seriously, I don't really know what to expect.

I hope it goes okay, there is always that worry, especially among men. Good on you

[Stranraer]

I was clearing out my bookcase and came across a book by David D. Burns MD called "The Feeling Good Handbook" - it explains various self help techniques to overcome anxiety.

If anyone thinks they might find it helpful feel free to message me - I don't want anything for it, I was going to hand it into the Mental health charity shop anyway.

[Sweep]

I posted in this thread a long while back about my anxiety. I had been suffering severe anxiety for 2 years with no positive end in site. I decided to try hypnotherapy and got in touch with a therapist. It's the best thing I could have done as far as I'm concerned.

Using EFT tapping therapy (Google it) she managed to lift me out of the darkest of places, I suffered 10+ panic/anxiety attacks relating to health every day. I couldn't sleep and my work suffered so much I was demoted from my position. She helped me " find my mojo" again.

Now a year later I've lost 2 stone, joined a gym and enrolled on the hibs ffit course. I still suffer little anxiety attacks, but have learned how to deal with them. I don't know if it's ok to post a contact number for the practitioner so if anyone wants to pm me I'll happily recommend it to them.

[CropleyWasGod]

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I posted in this thread a long while back about my anxiety. I had been suffering severe anxiety for 2 years with no positive end in site. I decided to try hypnotherapy and got in touch with a therapist. It's the best thing I could have done as far as I'm concerned.

Using EFT tapping therapy (Google it) she managed to lift me out of the darkest of places, I suffered 10+ panic/anxiety attacks relating to health every day. I couldn't sleep and my work suffered so much I was demoted from my position. She helped me " find my mojo" again.

Now a year later I've lost 2 stone, joined a gym and enrolled on the hibs ffit course. I still suffer little anxiety attacks, but have learned how to deal with them. I don't know if it's ok to post a contact number for the practitioner so if anyone wants to pm me I'll happily recommend it to them.

Good to hear that.

I dabbled with EFT some years ago. It had an immediate, but short term effect. In the longer term, it didn't work for me.

I know, though, that it has been successful in many ways for many people.

[Phil D. Rolls]

One way I know I'm going down is when I start to post excessively on here, and get into arguments where I go OTT in criticising others.

Towards the end of last year, I picked up on the fact I felt constantly angry. Things didn't go too well over Christmas, but having lived with Depression long enough, I was able to spot that it was me that was the problem instead of everyone else. To be honest the thoughts I was having about other people were so off the mark, they were bordering on hallucinogenic.

Went to see my GP as soon as I could after new year. Held my hands up, and admitted I wasn't coping, and that I could sink further.

She gave me Paroxetine, and it is doing the job. I am seeing much more humour than I used to, and being more balanced when negative things happen.

The lessons are: never be frightened to admit when you are going backwards - Depression is always there, look for patterns in your behaviour that are repeating themselves; if you want to get better, medication can work for you; see your recovery as a set of waves breaking on the shore, each one goes forwards then back, but each one goes further forward and less back than the previous one did.

[Stranraer]

I've also been guilty of posting stupid comments and annoying others not only on here but in life as well. Having 4 "labels" is annoying and my GP says I should forget them, concentrate on what makes me happy... like watching the Hibees more recently.

One thing that does get me down is thinking of the amount of meds I've been on for a 23 year old, I'm terrified at the thought of coming off 600 mg of Seroquel.

[andrew70]

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One way I know I'm going down is when I start to post excessively on here, and get into arguments where I go OTT in criticising others.

Towards the end of last year, I picked up on the fact I felt constantly angry. Things didn't go too well over Christmas, but having lived with Depression long enough, I was able to spot that it was me that was the problem instead of everyone else. To be honest the thoughts I was having about other people were so off the mark, they were bordering on hallucinogenic.

Went to see my GP as soon as I could after new year. Held my hands up, and admitted I wasn't coping, and that I could sink further.

She gave me Paroxetine, and it is doing the job. I am seeing much more humour than I used to, and being more balanced when negative things happen.

The lessons are: never be frightened to admit when you are going backwards - Depression is always there, look for patterns in your behaviour that are repeating themselves; if you want to get better, medication can work for you; see your recovery as a set of waves breaking on the shore, each one goes forwards then back, but each one goes further forward and less back than the previous one did.

I've not posted on this thread before but you may have read my article on depression and football etc that I posted on the site previously.

Anyway I keep myself to myself a lot more than I have ever done. It's easier.

I note that you say "Depression is always there" how very true. It's like a constant drain on my life both physically and mentally.

I don't open up to many people, I do get angry though. Especially with my parents, I feel bad but other times I feel like they have done nothing to help me through this.

I am back at work after six months off but I am so tired and I honestly just want to cry all the time.

I feel so lonely yet I feel like I am becoming more of a loner, if you get what I mean?

It doesn't matter what I do, everything just feels so hard. One step forward, seven back and repeat.

[Mikey09]

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I've not posted on this thread before but you may have read my article on depression and football etc that I posted on the site previously.

Anyway I keep myself to myself a lot more than I have ever done. It's easier.

I note that you say "Depression is always there" how very true. It's like a constant drain on my life both physically and mentally.

I don't open up to many people, I do get angry though. Especially with my parents, I feel bad but other times I feel like they have done nothing to help me through this.

I am back at work after six months off but I am so tired and I honestly just want to cry all the time.

I feel so lonely yet I feel like I am becoming more of a loner, if you get what I mean?

It doesn't matter what I do, everything just feels so hard. One step forward, seven back and repeat.

This is what I used to do Andrew. Through years of going un diagnosed with bi polar disorder I would keep everything I was feeling to myself which in turn made what I highlighted become worse. It's a cycle I had to break. If there is someone you can talk to then please do so.... It gives you a sounding board to tell them how you feel and what you're going through. Even posting on this thread is a start. There will be a lot of people on here who have gone/going through the same thing so feel free to ask questions here. There are good people on this forum. Stick in pal....

[andrew70]

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This is what I used to do Andrew. Through years of going un diagnosed with bi polar disorder I would keep everything I was feeling to myself which in turn made what I highlighted become worse. It's a cycle I had to break. If there is someone you can talk to then please do so.... It gives you a sounding board to tell them how you feel and what you're going through. Even posting on this thread is a start. There will be a lot of people on here who have gone/going through the same thing so feel free to ask questions here. There are good people on this forum. Stick in pal....

It's the hopelessness I am really struggling with right now.

I got myself in to a position where I could get back to my work but after work I am always so tired even going to a game at the weekend is hard work.

I feel hopeless in the respect of no matter what I do nothing gets 'much better' I figure that coz of this I will never be happy.

I would give my left arm to lead a 'normal' life...hell I can't even remember the last time I smiled properly.

So I keep myself to myself to avoid bringing others down. I can't face going out for a pint, I don't want to have conversations about everyday life with my mates, people more often than not annoy me for no apparent reason.

It's a catch twenty-two situation, I feel like I will always be alone coz I have no confidence to go out and meet new people etc.

[Mr White]

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It's the hopelessness I am really struggling with right now.

I got myself in to a position where I could get back to my work but after work I am always so tired even going to a game at the weekend is hard work.

I feel hopeless in the respect of no matter what I do nothing gets 'much better' I figure that coz of this I will never be happy.

I would give my left arm to lead a 'normal' life...hell I can't even remember the last time I smiled properly.

So I keep myself to myself to avoid bringing others down. I can't face going out for a pint, I don't want to have conversations about everyday life with my mates, people more often than not annoy me for no apparent reason.

It's a catch twenty-two situation, I feel like I will always be alone coz I have no confidence to go out and meet new people etc.

Do you do any physical exercise Andrew? I know it would be hard at first to start (if you don't already) but after a while I'm sure it would help your energy levels and to fight the lethargy and apathy that depression can cause.

I went through some difficult times in my late teens and into my early 20's and looking back it was my taking up an active job, playing 5 aside football again after years off and then eventually getting into snowboarding and travelling to do a couple of ski seasons that really turned things round.

Apologies if this is unhelpful or it something you've already tried. I remember how hard it could be to get up and get moving when feeling low but even getting out for a walk now and then can be beneficial. Good luck with it, I hope you find something soon that helps you start to feel better.