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  1. #631
    @hibs.net private member barcahibs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CropleyWasGod View Post
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    Not sure if this will help.

    I used to "fight" my depression. Did everything I could to stave off what, in hindsight, was inevitable. All that achieved was a longer and deeper depression, with a feeling of failure that I'd not been able to "beat" it.

    That pattern continued for years, and then I developed a new approach. When an episode was on its way, I didn't run away. I let it happen. Just gave in to it, whilst using little management tools to help avoid its worst effects.

    The result is that my episodes are shorter, and less intense, and I have a greater feeling of control. In short, i treat my condition as a friend, rather than an enemy .

    It isn't a cure, but it's the most effective tool I've got to reduce the pain.

    Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk
    Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

    Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

    Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

    You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

    You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

    Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

    When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

    For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

    The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

    I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

    Easy to say now of course.

    The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

    If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

    The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

    I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)


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  3. #632
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    I really find it helpful reading all these posts. I'm going through a pretty rough patch at the moment after a really long period of feeling like things were on the up. It often feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and that's the part I find the most difficult to deal with. Sometimes I know that doing certain things will help, but it can be hard to motivate myself to get things done.

    GIRLS DONT LIKE BOYS GIRLS LIKE SIMON MURRAY

  4. #633
    @hibs.net private member Sylar's Avatar
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    A key thing for me lately has been trying to identify my triggers whenever I feel an anxiety episode begin to manifest itself.

    Sometimes that's easy, but sometimes I fixate on symptoms of a bigger problem, rather than trying to work out what's really bothering me. Displacement, I believe it's called.

    I became a father 4 months ago, and my world is a wonderful place just now...most of the time. But feelings of inadequacy, feelings of irritation whenever I can't soothe my daughter, feelings of all out rage (where I leave the room) have made appearances. This was all well over and above my normal manifestation of anxiety, so a quick trip to my doctor and I was diagnosed with PTSD (our daughter's arrival into this world was pretty traumatic and we thought she was lost shortly after delivery, resulting in both of them being wheeled away and me being left with very little answer). That, blended with my anxiety makes it problematic for me to try and deal with her when she's upset, as I get pretty easily worked up too, and I constantly find myself feeling like a failure, or getting really angry at myself for feeling the way I do.

    Realising that this isn't my fault, and that it will pass is one thing. Composing myself into the moment is probably the biggest challenge I've faced in a very long time!
    Okay, technically I'm a serial killer...

  5. #634
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barcahibs View Post
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    Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

    Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

    Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

    You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

    You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

    Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

    When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

    For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

    The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

    I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

    Easy to say now of course.

    The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

    If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

    The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

    I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)
    Superb post, thanks. I agree with every word, and wish i'd written it myself.... swine

    The other thing I will add is that, although I would gladly "cure" my depression tomorrow, there are a lot of positives to my experience. Without it, I wouldn't have made changes to my diet, my exercise regime, my attitude to life, and my spiritual life. All of these are changes for the better, and I thank my depression for pushing me into them.

    That "celebration" of the positivity of our situation is at the heart of the work I do as a hypnotherapist; recognising the "small victories" in our lives, and building on them as an example of how life isn't all crap, and that there are means of thinking differently. It doesn't cure things, of course, but it helps in bringing back that balance that we lose when the black dog comes to stay.

    The black dog, of course, doesn't have to be nasty and vicious. It can be warm and cuddly.
    Last edited by CropleyWasGod; 16-08-2017 at 08:03 AM.

  6. #635
    @hibs.net private member I'm_cabbaged's Avatar
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    Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
    Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!

  7. #636
    First Team Breakthrough lgnsh70's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I'm_cabbaged View Post
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    Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
    Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!
    Genuinely gutted to hear whats happened to you. The passing of loved ones is always a traumatic time. When I'm feeling it most, I make a point of going for a quiet walk usually to the beach or somewhere off the beaten track and let it all out, the frustration, the why, the anger and end up crying my eyes out at how much I miss them the family that have passed on until there's no more tears to give. It helps me tremendously but folk are different and it may not be the answer for others. Feel for you mate.
    Last edited by lgnsh70; 06-09-2017 at 08:01 PM.

  8. #637
    @hibs.net proletariat member Pete's Avatar
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    Humbled again by this thread. Best wishes to all of you and hope that things get better if you're down there just now.

  9. #638
    @hibs.net private member I'm_cabbaged's Avatar
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    Thanks folks, the PM was carried out yesterday so I can start to do all the finalising of things today, I think that may bring out the realisation of what's actually happened. Better out than in as they say!!

  10. #639
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I'm_cabbaged View Post
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    Thanks folks, the PM was carried out yesterday so I can start to do all the finalising of things today, I think that may bring out the realisation of what's actually happened. Better out than in as they say!!
    I always try and look for "small wins" in these situations. Obviously, I don't know you, but it seems that you are in some sort of control at this moment; clear enough to be strong, to know your mind, and to put your thoughts down here.

    In your past, dark, days, could you have done that? I'm guessing not. If that's correct, you've made progress, and you need to recognise that and give yourself credit.

    As you say, there's probably a lot of emotion to come out. ....and, yeah, allow yourself to express that.

    Take care

    Sent from my SM-A510F using Tapatalk

  11. #640
    Coaching Staff hibsbollah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barcahibs View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

    Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

    Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

    You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

    You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

    Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

    When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

    For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

    The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

    I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

    Easy to say now of course.

    The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

    If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

    The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

    I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)
    Outstanding post, wise and 100% true, every word.

  12. #641
    Gentleman of Leisure Doddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barcahibs View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Totally agree with this. I wasted so much energy over the years on fights that, with hindsight, i couldn't possibly win.

    Its an argument i use a lot but... When you see someone in a wheelchair does anyone think "oh if only they were a bit tougher and fought their illness/disability more they could get up and walk"?

    Friend of mine recently passed away from lung cancer. Did anyone look at him near the end and think "quitter"?

    You can't brute strength "fight" depression.

    You can make yourself resistant. You can equip yourself with tools that will make the journey easier, that's the kind of fighting that works.

    Best lesson I ever learned is that no matter how dark you feel, no matter how endless the struggle feels when you're in its grip, it WILL pass.

    When you're at your lowest you have to cling on to the fact that you WILL feel better than you do right now.

    For me (and obviously with the usual caveats that I'm not amedical professional) the way through was to recognise it, treat the symptoms (embrace it to a certain extent), lean o the support around me,and wait it out.

    The bouts are shorter and farther apart.

    I WILL feel depressed again in the future. And it WILL pass.

    Easy to say now of course.

    The other weapon I've found is nature. Being outdoors in greenspaces makes a huge difference. Our bodies and minds need to spend time outside. We evolved out there, we spent 200,000 years becoming so perfectly adapted to the outside that we became the dominant species on the planet - and then we shut ourselves inside.

    If you compress all of Human history into a 24hour period then the industrial revolution happened about 90 seconds ago. We started to live predominantly indoor lifestyles about 20 seconds ago.

    The other 23 hours and 58 minutes were spent outside, in amongst nature and greenspaces.

    I work in this field now and the power of it is pretty incredible.. And it's pretty much free of cost :)

    Absolutely.


    "Once one accepts that one has bear-hugged full-blown barking there is great comfort in the bright lights and noises of the wibble-wibble show ..."

  13. #642
    Coaching Staff One Day Soon's Avatar
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    To all brothers (and sisters) on this thread I can only offer this.

    I have two approaches. One is to try to cope with it before, during and after its here by doing all the things CWG mentioned in his last post. They don't stop it but they do mitigate it to some extent. The other is to almost try to remove myself from the immediacy of it when it's here with what is almost a mantra - this is just a phase. It is just a phase, you always come out the other side sooner or later and if you are able to fasten on to that you can almost look at yourself going through it from a distance. So it gets to be in you while it is there, but the crucial thing is it doesn't get to be you completely. It's a short term guest.

    My dad died in October last year. Not long afterward a close relative was murdered. I had to organise two funerals, ID a body, deal with the aftermath (including a still ongoing legal dispute on inheritance). I didn't want anything to do with it in the case of the latter but there was no choice. I don't think I've ever felt so low and on many, many days I have struggled to get out of bed. I'd like to tell you some heroic story but I don't have one. It's just trying to cope.

    I suppose there's a slightly quirky funny-ish bit. Dad was a high-functioning alcoholic who caused family mayhem and deep, deep emotional distress. I miss him a lot - don't ask me to explain how or why - it doesn't seem rational to me. Mostly it is just a gnawing ache of the heart and a strong sense that an irreplaceable central cast member in my life is gone. From time to time it is more acute and once or twice there have been tears at my desk. But I've been seen in tears at my desk so frequently since 21 May 2016 that I've actually had people ask me if I'm watching Cup Final clips again.

    So there are days when Dad dies and there are days when Hibs win the Cup. I hope every supporter of every club has something as God-given as that to help lift them up.

  14. #643
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Day Soon View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    To all brothers (and sisters) on this thread I can only offer this.

    I have two approaches. One is to try to cope with it before, during and after its here by doing all the things CWG mentioned in his last post. They don't stop it but they do mitigate it to some extent. The other is to almost try to remove myself from the immediacy of it when it's here with what is almost a mantra - this is just a phase. It is just a phase, you always come out the other side sooner or later and if you are able to fasten on to that you can almost look at yourself going through it from a distance. So it gets to be in you while it is there, but the crucial thing is it doesn't get to be you completely. It's a short term guest.

    My dad died in October last year. Not long afterward a close relative was murdered. I had to organise two funerals, ID a body, deal with the aftermath (including a still ongoing legal dispute on inheritance). I didn't want anything to do with it in the case of the latter but there was no choice. I don't think I've ever felt so low and on many, many days I have struggled to get out of bed. I'd like to tell you some heroic story but I don't have one. It's just trying to cope.

    I suppose there's a slightly quirky funny-ish bit. Dad was a high-functioning alcoholic who caused family mayhem and deep, deep emotional distress. I miss him a lot - don't ask me to explain how or why - it doesn't seem rational to me. Mostly it is just a gnawing ache of the heart and a strong sense that an irreplaceable central cast member in my life is gone. From time to time it is more acute and once or twice there have been tears at my desk. But I've been seen in tears at my desk so frequently since 21 May 2016 that I've actually had people ask me if I'm watching Cup Final clips again.

    So there are days when Dad dies and there are days when Hibs win the Cup. I hope every supporter of every club has something as God-given as that to help lift them up.
    Reading all the comments here it's amazing how many people are suffering some sort of anxiety/ Depression type condition.
    I have battled it for about 15 years on and off . Much worse over the last few years.
    Reading all the comments of help is refreshing as I can relate to so many of them.
    I have gone on medication for the fist time as my downs were lasting to long and I felt people were getting bored with my strange behaviours of being very remote and quite not wanting to be part of the fun or conversation.
    Often just staring as if in a different world.
    I spoke again with the doctor and explained how I was feeling and the medication has certainly helped me combined with me withdrawing from things or positions that I know raise my anxiety levels.
    It's not easy especially as it meant leaving the work I was involved in but it was the only way forward .
    People generally are very supportive I have not told everyone a selective few but you always get the ones that sneer or laugh at the condition but I now just smile and pitty them and hope they never have to deal with the anxiety attacks I get .
    Good luck to you all with however you are trying to deal with your issues.


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    Last edited by Greenworld; 07-09-2017 at 02:29 PM.

  15. #644
    @hibs.net private member wpj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I'm_cabbaged View Post
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    Back here again.. after coming off my meds about a year and a half ago things were slowly progressing with the help of counseling through my work (nhs) The theory being that I'd built up a self preservation system through a few traumas until the sudden passing of my parents in a short period of time that over flowed the cup so to speak. I was slowly beginning to to come to terms with the previous traumas and accept that they did me no harm long term.
    Unfortunately my brother was suffering depression unknown to myself and thought that the world would be better off without him at the weekend, if only he'd talked about it..... Going on a selfish note, I'm feeling absolutely nothing, I've lost the last of my birth family and not an emotion. The self preservation has kicked in again I suppose, don't know what to do!!
    So sorry to hear about you losses, wishing you well at this very difficult time. You are not alone.

  16. #645
    @hibs.net private member Hibs Class's Avatar
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    Good article here. Not the first to suffer, nor the first to speak out., but still well worth a read.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41599714
    ​#PERSEVERED


  17. #646
    @hibs.net private member Hiber-nation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibs Class View Post
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    Good article here. Not the first to suffer, nor the first to speak out., but still well worth a read.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41599714
    I was just going to post this. Hopefully it will be of help to someone.

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