Old Man Grammatical Grump Thread

[RIP]

It's a miserable wet Sunday and my weekend plans for gowf, country walk and garden are all cattled. I'm reading Hibs.Net and watching Sky Sports wi ma laddies (15 and 13). I've been focusing on their grammar now that they are more advanced in their education but what chance have they got when everyone around them cannae even manage basic grammar?

Neil McCann - "He had went" instead of " He had gone"

Any other auld grumps out there got their pet messageboard/TV/Hibs TV commentator grammatical faux pas?

[BEEJ]

"The boy done good".

The word 'lose' being written as 'loose'.

[matty_f]

"I could of..." instead of "I could have..."

[MWHIBBIES]

Everything Dean Windass has ever said on Soccer Saturday.

[lyonhibs]

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Everything Dean Windass has ever said on Soccer Saturday.

Him and Paul Merson definitely don't speak English.

"The boy's done ever so well" aka Jim Beglin's epitaph gets my goat as well.

[Malthibby]

The loss of adverbs.
'Communicating loud and clear' is one painful example from Midlothian Council.
I blame the Americans, but I tend to do that anyway.
GG

[Franck Stanton]

Quite a few posters use "through" when really meaning "threw" quite a few more but they escape me at the moment

[Sherlock Jones]

The seemingly interchangeability of their/there/they're.

[snooky]

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It's a miserable wet Sunday and my weekend plans for gowf, country walk and garden are all cattled. I'm reading Hibs.Net and watching Sky Sports wi ma laddies (15 and 13). I've been focusing on their grammer now that they are more advanced in their education but what chance have they got when everyone around them cannae even manage basic grammar?

Neil McCann - "He had went" instead of " He had gone"

Any other auld grumps out there got their pet messageboard/TV/Hibs TV commentator grammatical faux pas?

"Here here" is my personal teethgrinder.

(Just for the record "Hear hear" apparently is short for "Hear him, hear him".)

[CropleyWasGod]

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Him and Paul Merson definitely don't speak English.

"The boy's done ever so well" aka Jim Beglin's epitath gets my goat as well.

The way people use "epitath" when they mean "epithet", or perhaps even "epitaph".

[Jay]

Aswel and aken are not real words

Having said that, they dont drive me mad, they make me smile

[Bunter]

Davie Provan's all consuming desire to describe every shot on target as, "a very decent" chance sets my teeth on edge.
Maybe that's just Davie Provan right enough.

[lyonhibs]

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The way people use "epitath" when they mean "epithet", or perhaps even "epitaph".

Don't know what you're (or should that be your................ ) on about.................

[nonshinyfinish]

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The seemingly interchangeability of their/there/they're.

You mean seeming, not seemingly.

EDIT: The offence that most enrages me is probably apostrophe abuse.

[Saorsa]

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"I could of..." instead of "I could have..."

that one that really gets on my wick.

[Sherlock Jones]

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You mean seeming, not seemingly.

I knew some seeming know-all would pick me up on that.

[nonshinyfinish]

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I knew some seeming know-all would pick me up on that.

[lapsedhibee]

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Him and Paul Merson definitely don't speak English.

Do you mean "He and Paul Merson ... "?

"The boy's done ever so well" aka Jim Beglin's epitaph gets my goat as well.

Is that ungrammatical?

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The offence that most enrages me is probably apostrophe abuse.

That annoy's me too.

[nonshinyfinish]

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Is that ungrammatical?

Well spotted sir - as written it's correct, a shortened version of 'the boy has done ever so well'.

Pedantry is the tit's.

[Future17]

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That annoy's me too.

[CropleyWasGod]

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Don't know what you're (or should that be your................ ) on about.................

Me either.

[da-robster]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphry%27s_law

[McSwanky]

Interesting. I'm as big a 'pedant' as the next man, but the English language is constantly evolving. I don't know anything about the history of the Oxford English, but I'm intrigued that so many take it as gospel.

What are the criteria for a word making it into the OED? Are we likely to see the likes of 'aswel' make it in there if it's used often enough?

[ArabHibee]

English can be tricky though:




1. The bandage was wound around the wound.


2. The farm was used to produce produce.


3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.


4. We must polish the Polish furniture.


5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.


6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.


7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.


8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.


9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.


10. I did not object to the object.


11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.


12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.


13. They were too close to the door to close it.


14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.


15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.


16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.


17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.


18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.


19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.


20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

[Twa Cairpets]

Not a grammatical error, but people saying: "It's a mute point". No. It isn't. It's a moot point.

Grrrr

[Sodje_18]

When people use 'no' instead of 'know' ie. 'i no that'
Certain abbreviations - especially 'omg', makes you sound like a 12 year old lassie.

[Sylar]

"yous"

Drives me loopy!

[--------]

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Interesting. I'm as big a 'pedant' as the next man, but the English language is constantly evolving. I don't know anything about the history of the Oxford English, but I'm intrigued that so many take it as gospel.

What are the criteria for a word making it into the OED? Are we likely to see the likes of 'aswel' make it in there if it's used often enough?

Language is indeed constantly changing and evolving. The OED can only record the language as it was spoken at the time of compilation - time has moved on, the language has developed, new words have been coined or adopted...

I used to get all wound up about it, but it's really not worth it. The point of language is communication, and as long as the communication taking place is clear and accurate, I don't gte annoyed. If someone isn't making himself/herself clear, it's probably because they're ignorant or stupid, and I derive a pleasing sense of superiority from this.

Case in point - this is a properly grammatical sentence, provided you know the meanings of the various words - but a degree of slang is involved.

So what does it mean?

Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

[Twa Cairpets]

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Case in point - this is a properly grammatical sentence, provided you know the meanings of the various words - but a degree of slang is involved.

So what does it mean?

Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

It means you need to go and lie down in a dark room

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

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I blame the Americans.

I blame them for "my bad" wtf is that all about?