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  1. 15-02-2014 11:00 AM #151
    Northernhibee
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    I invented a new word today.

    'Plaugurism'.
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  2. 29-01-2015 07:56 AM #152
    Hibrandenburg
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    A Roman walks into a bar and sticks the two fingers up at the barman and says "5 beers please".
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  3. 29-01-2015 11:25 AM #153
    HUTCHYHIBBY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    A Roman walks into a bar and sticks the two fingers up at the barman and says "5 beers please".
    Was that in The Centurion?
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  4. 29-01-2015 12:00 PM #154
    easty
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    A wee insect just flew straight at me and exploded.



    I think it was a jihadi long legs.
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  5. 29-01-2015 07:19 PM #155
    Scouse Hibee
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    What do you call an itchy pig?..............A pork scratching
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  6. 29-01-2015 07:47 PM #156
    Caversham Green
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    There's a restaurant called Karma opened in Reading (that's true BTW). There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

    Then there was the drunk circumcisionist who got the sack.
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  7. 29-01-2015 08:30 PM #157
    Hiber-nation
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caversham Green View Post
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    Then there was the drunk circumcisionist who got the sack.


    Always reminds me of when my mate was trying to tell that one in the pub after he'd had a few and for the life of him he couldn't say "circumcisionist".
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  8. 29-01-2015 08:41 PM #158
    Hibrandenburg
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    Quote Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY View Post
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    Was that in The Centurion?
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  9. 29-01-2015 08:58 PM #159
    lord bunberry
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    My mates bonsai tree business is doing so well that hes thinking of moving to smaller premises.
    Every night before we go to bed my mrs puts on boxing gloves and i sing eye of the tiger, were going through a rocky patch at the moment.

    United we stand here....
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  10. 29-01-2015 09:47 PM #160
    Sergey
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    I signed up to a website for constipation but I'm having massive problems with the log out button
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  11. 29-01-2015 11:02 PM #161
    over the line
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    Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician............ he worked it out with a pencil.
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  12. 29-01-2015 11:06 PM #162
    over the line
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    A while back a fella in my work got caught ****ging the exhaust pipe of a delivery waggon. He is HGV positive now!
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  13. 29-01-2015 11:14 PM #163
    over the line
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    What did the 0 (zero) say to the number 8? "Nice belt".
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  14. 29-01-2015 11:22 PM #164
    Sir David Gray
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    Two cows sitting in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday?

    It's the one with the wee calf.
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  15. 29-01-2015 11:36 PM #165
    Mikey09
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    Man goes into the Butchers, "Can I have a steak and kidley pie please?"
    Butcher says, "You said kidley."
    Man says, "No I Didley?!"
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  16. 30-01-2015 01:46 AM #166
    matty_f
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caversham Green View Post
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    There's a restaurant called Karma opened in Reading (that's true BTW). There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

    Then there was the drunk circumcisionist who got the sack.
    Or the great circumcisionist who got lots of tips.
    Follow the Hibs podcast, Longbangers, on Twitter (@longbangers)
    https://longbangers.hubwave.net
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  17. 30-01-2015 07:33 AM #167
    Hibrandenburg
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sergey View Post
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    I signed up to a website for constipation but I'm having massive problems with the log out button
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  18. 30-01-2015 09:30 AM #168
    Hiber-nation
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    Quote Originally Posted by E/Port_Hibee View Post
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    A while back a fella in my work got caught ****ging the exhaust pipe of a delivery waggon. He is HGV positive now!
    Very good!
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  19. 30-01-2015 10:54 AM #169
    Geo_1875
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trig View Post
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    Two cows sitting in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday?

    It's the one with the wee calf.
    Please read the thread title. This attempt misses the mark by miles.
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  20. 30-01-2015 01:20 PM #170
    Future17
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    Quote Originally Posted by easty View Post
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    A wee insect just flew straight at me and exploded.



    I think it was a jihadi long legs.
    Delighted to see this thread return with a few crackers and that sir, is a belter!
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  21. 30-01-2015 01:56 PM #171
    MrRobot
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    Why do ginger people have sore feet?





    They have no souls.
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  22. 30-01-2015 02:25 PM #172
    The_Exile
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trig View Post
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    Two cows sitting in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday?

    It's the one with the wee calf.
    10 cows in a field, which one was heading off to the middle east?

    Coo 8.
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  23. 30-01-2015 03:06 PM #173
    Hibs Class
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    There was a Buddhist who turned down an injection before his root canal treatment. His objective: transcend dental medication.
    ​#PERSEVERED

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  24. 30-01-2015 03:21 PM #174
    Hibs Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by haagsehibby View Post
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    There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

    Those that understand binary and those who don't.
    Quote Originally Posted by HibeeMG View Post
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    There are 10 types of people in the world that understand binary. Those that do and those that don't.
    Binary isn't that hard, in fact it's as easy as 01 10 11
    ​#PERSEVERED

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  25. 30-01-2015 03:23 PM #175
    Hibs Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by hibby19 View Post
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    Do I know any jokes about Sodium?

    Na.
    Sixteen sodium atoms walked into a bar......followed by Batman.
    ​#PERSEVERED

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  26. 03-02-2015 07:00 PM #176
    rotherhamrob
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    Quote Originally Posted by easty View Post
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    A wee insect just flew straight at me and exploded.



    I think it was a jihadi long legs.
    Ha ha thats a belter
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  27. 03-02-2015 07:11 PM #177
    Sergey
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    A guy asked if I'd be interested in a survey about reverse psychology.

    I said, "No"

    He said, "Great, question 1".
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  28. 08-02-2015 10:06 AM #178
    HUTCHYHIBBY
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    Conjunctivitis.com

    Thats a site for sore eyes
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  29. 10-02-2015 12:04 PM #179
    HUTCHYHIBBY
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    If I was a Tibetan man I'd back The Dalai Lama
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  30. 12-02-2015 12:37 AM #180
    snooky
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    Quote Originally Posted by HUTCHYHIBBY View Post
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    If I was a Tibetan man I'd back The Dalai Lama
    Sorry mate, you'd win Nepal.
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