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  1. #121
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
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    A dyslexic man walks into a bra..


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  3. #122
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
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    I'm really worried about my parrot.
    He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".

    My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.

  4. #123
    First Team Breakthrough StevesFamau5's Avatar
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    The mrs asked me to whisper dirty things to her. Kitchen, bedroom and bathroom were not the right answers :D

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

  5. #124
    3pts away from home - i'm a happy glory hunter. jonty's Avatar
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    Gamertag: jonty Wii Code: 7580 5998 4272 1376
    My sister has a dead end job.

    She's a prostitute in a cul-de-sac.

  6. #125
    @hibs.net private member Captain Trips's Avatar
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    Built a 10ft wall I was so happy with it I just could not get over it.

    Got a job at a bed factory had to do 1 weeks lying time.

    Had a window cleaning round was going well until I lost the rag.
    If I choose to revert back to Carlsberg it will have to be The Carlsberg

  7. #126
    @hibs.net private member 21.05.2016's Avatar
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    Your about as much use as Anne Franks drum kit . . .

  8. #127
    3pts away from home - i'm a happy glory hunter. jonty's Avatar
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    Gamertag: jonty Wii Code: 7580 5998 4272 1376
    Quote Originally Posted by LAHIBBY View Post
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    Your about as much use as Anne Franks drum kit . . .

  9. #128
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
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    My wife's just like Heather Mills.

    She only wears half the ****ing shoes she buys.

  10. #129
    First Team Breakthrough
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    All the good Chemistry jokes Argon.

  11. #130
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    I was driving to work this morning when I saw a sign saying 'Low Trees'.

    So I stopped, got out and gave one a cuddle.

  12. #131
    Coaching Staff iwasthere1972's Avatar
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    I got a new Hoover for the wife. Tell you the truth I would have swapped her for a second hand one.

  13. #132
    Testimonial Due
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    Gamertag: Iainhfc PSN ID: Iainhfc
    what do u call a dog with no tongue? stinky baws.

  14. #133
    Testimonial Due Dinkydoo's Avatar
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    I'd been having trouble with my new IPhone until i changed the device name to "Titanic".......

    It's syncing great now!

  15. #134
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

  16. #135
    @hibs.net private member Peevemor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiberlin View Post
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    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

  17. #136
    Testimonial Due forthhibby's Avatar
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    I've just invented a cure for cynicism...

    I don't think it will work though.

  18. #137
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
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    Gamertag: Razza96
    Conjunctivitis.com - That's a site for sore eyes.

  19. #138
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Hearts fan has been admitted to A&E after inserting 7 "My little Pony" figures into his rectum. Doctors describe his condition as stable.

  20. #139
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiberlin View Post
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    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
    Brilliant, made me LOL

  21. #140
    First Team Breakthrough Adam Green's Avatar
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    I was in the off licence earlier looking at what wine to buy.
    There was a girl in there in front of me, only about 21, really good looking with a short skirt on.
    She bent down to pick up a bottle and I saw she wasn't wearing any knickers.
    She got a Merlot.
    I got a Semillon.

  22. #141
    @hibs.net private member SRH's Avatar
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    Gamertag: Limit Break PSN ID: cyniUK
    So René Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Can I fix you a drink?” Descartes replies, “I think not”—and disappears.

  23. #142
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    I've just been diagnosed with CDO. It's a bit like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be.

  24. #143
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    Saw a car with the bumper sticker "I'm a vet and that's why I drive like an animal" today.

    Suddenly it became clear to me just how many gynecologists are on our roads.

  25. #144
    Testimonial Due hibby rae's Avatar
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    Pavlov's sitting in the pub when the telephone rings. "My God!" exclaims Pavlov, "I forgot to feed the dog!".

  26. #145
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hibby rae View Post
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    Pavlov's sitting in the pub when the telephone rings. "My God!" exclaims Pavlov, "I forgot to feed the dog!".
    Away ye go man. Yer slaverin'

  27. #146
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    Just heard Robert De Niro is to play the main character in the film of Harold Shipmans life, its called the old dear hunter.

  28. #147
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    A Psychiatry student is sent to the mental hospital to evaluate 3 of the worst cases in the country. He's lead down a stairwell into the basement where there's three heavy locked iron doors. He unlocks the first and goes inside.

    Standing in the middle of the room is a guy swinging his arms like he's holding a bat.

    "What are you doing" asks the student.

    "I'm Babe Ruth and when I hit a home run, I'm getting out of here", replies the patient.

    The student then goes into the 2nd room.

    Standing in the middle of the room is a guy swinging his arms like he has a golf club.

    "What are you doing?" asks the student.

    "I'm Arnold Palmer and when I get a hole in one, I'm getting out of here".

    The student then goes into the third room.

    When he walks into the room he sees a guy lying on a bed, completely naked, trying to balance a walnut on the end of his cock.

    "What the hell are you doing???" asked the student.

    The patient replied, "I'm ****ing nuts and I'm never getting out of here"

  29. #148
    @hibs.net private member PercyHibs's Avatar
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    One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.

  30. #149
    @hibs.net private member Loopz's Avatar
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    Why do mice have small balls?




    Because not very many of them are good dancers.

  31. #150
    Testimonial Due hibby19's Avatar
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    Do I know any jokes about Sodium?

    Na.

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