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  1. #451
    Coaching Staff Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DH1875 View Post
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    Why did the cow go to the cinema?

    Cause it wanted to see a MOOvie.

    *Not reading through the whole thread so if its been done before, sue me.
    You're safe, DH.

    Nobody will have told that one. Believe me.
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £1,789.68!




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  3. #452
    @hibs.net private member Peevemor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    You're safe, DH.

    Nobody will have told that one. Believe me.
    I'm not sure everyone has the same definition of "smart"...

  4. #453
    Quote Originally Posted by Peevemor View Post
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    I'm not sure everyone has the same definition of "smart"...
    Well its up there with 3 jokes posted before it

  5. #454
    @hibs.net private member Golden Fleece's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DH1875 View Post
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    Well its down there with 3 jokes posted before it
    STFY
    #Persevered
    Scotland can be a beacon, within these islands and beyond, for a socially just and sustainable society. Whilst there are many priorities which will require independence, there is also much that can and must be done now by the Scottish Parliament and the Scottish Government.

  6. #455
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DH1875 View Post
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    Well its up there with 3 jokes posted before it
    Let's get all the old cow jokes out now and be done with them.

    Why do cows have bells round their necks? Because their horns don't work. <groan>

  7. #456
    Testimonial Due Geo_1875's Avatar
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    What animal would you see at the Edinburgh Tattoo?

    A miltary coo.

  8. #457
    @hibs.net private member --------'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geo_1875 View Post
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    What animal would you see at the Edinburgh Tattoo?

    A miltary coo.

    What do you call a coo with a machine gun and a number 7 on its back?

    A right-wing military coo.

  9. #458
    @hibs.net private member lord bunberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibbyradge View Post
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    There seems to be an animal theme developing, so ...

    An old bull and a young bull stand on a hillside, overlooking a field in which several cows are grazing.

    The young bull says to the old bull, “Hey, let’s run down the hill and f*** one of those heifers.”

    The old bull replies, “No, let’s walk down and f*** all of them.”
    I’ve been laughing at this joke for ages and I don’t really know why

    GIRLS DONT LIKE BOYS GIRLS LIKE SIMON MURRAY

  10. #459
    @hibs.net private member sleeping giant's Avatar
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    When we getting back to smart jokes ? :-)
    No Eternal Reward Shall Forgive Us Now For Wasting The Dawn

  11. #460
    Coaching Staff Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lord bunberry View Post
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    I’ve been laughing at this joke for ages and I don’t really know why
    It's a belter, that's why.

    Because of that joke, there are loads of people to whom the nickname "young bull" applies.
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £1,789.68!



  12. #461
    Testimonial Due hibby6270's Avatar
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    When you’re halfway through eating that scabby horse, you’re not as hungry as you first thought!

  13. #462
    Promising Youngster Alfiembra's Avatar
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    A man was driving through the countryside when his car broke down, not knowing what was wrong he stood looking under the bonnet scratching his head. He was parked next to a field which had two horses in it, all of a sudden one of the horses came trotting over to him. To his amazement the horse spoke to him.

    “Broken down” asks the horse.
    The man is speechless, a talking horse.
    ”Have you run out of petrol” asks the horse.
    The man still amazed says, “No I only filled up a few miles back”
    The horse then says “Give the battery leads a wiggle, make sure they’re on tight”
    The man checks the leads and sure enough one was loose, he tightens it up try’s the starter and the car bursts into life.
    The man is over the moon “Thank you so much” he says to the horse.
    ”No problem” says the horse and trots back off to the other horse.

    The man drives off and a few miles down the road spots a cafe and decides to stop for a coffee.
    While getting served he chats to the owner.
    ” The strangest thing just happened to me, my car broke down a few miles back and I didn’t know what was wrong with it. I was beside a field and this horse came over and started talking to me. I couldn’t believe it, then the horse told me how to fix my car”

    The owner of the cafe looked at the man quizzically and said.
    ”Was it a black horse or a white horse”
    ”A black horse” says the man.
    ”Ah you were lucky then” replied the owner.
    ” The white horse knows **** all about cars”

  14. #463
    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

    She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

    “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

    “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

    “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

    “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".

  15. #464
    'S' Form
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    What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?

    Get your jacket on, the doctor's taking us out tonight 😀

  16. #465
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    There are 2 things on earth you can see from space:

    1. The Great Wall of China

    2. Footballs leaving Tynecastle and burning on re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere

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