hibs.net Messageboard

Page 5 of 43 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast
Results 121 to 150 of 1276
  1. #121
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,478
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Razza96
    A dyslexic man walks into a bra..


  2. Log in to remove the advert

  3. #122
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,478
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Razza96
    I'm really worried about my parrot.
    He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".

    My room-mate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.

  4. #123
    First Team Regular StevesFamau5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    741
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: ImFamau5nStuff
    The mrs asked me to whisper dirty things to her. Kitchen, bedroom and bathroom were not the right answers :D

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

  5. #124
    3pts away from home - i'm a happy glory hunter. jonty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Dunfermline
    Age
    50
    Posts
    24,245
    Blog Entries
    4
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: jonty Wii Code: 7580 5998 4272 1376
    My sister has a dead end job.

    She's a prostitute in a cul-de-sac.

  6. #125
    Left by mutual consent!
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Age
    49
    Posts
    15,209
    Built a 10ft wall I was so happy with it I just could not get over it.

    Got a job at a bed factory had to do 1 weeks lying time.

    Had a window cleaning round was going well until I lost the rag.

  7. #126
    Coaching Staff 21.05.2016's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    9,099
    Your about as much use as Anne Franks drum kit . . .

  8. #127
    3pts away from home - i'm a happy glory hunter. jonty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Dunfermline
    Age
    50
    Posts
    24,245
    Blog Entries
    4
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: jonty Wii Code: 7580 5998 4272 1376
    Quote Originally Posted by LAHIBBY View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Your about as much use as Anne Franks drum kit . . .

  9. #128
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,478
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Razza96
    My wife's just like Heather Mills.

    She only wears half the ****ing shoes she buys.

  10. #129
    First Team Breakthrough
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    East Stander
    Posts
    452
    All the good Chemistry jokes Argon.

  11. #130
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    near the libby
    Age
    68
    Posts
    621
    I was driving to work this morning when I saw a sign saying 'Low Trees'.

    So I stopped, got out and gave one a cuddle.

  12. #131
    Coaching Staff iwasthere1972's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Edinburgh South
    Posts
    21,066
    I got a new Hoover for the wife. Tell you the truth I would have swapped her for a second hand one.

  13. #132
    Testimonial Due
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Bo'ness
    Age
    37
    Posts
    2,749
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Iainhfc PSN ID: Iainhfc
    what do u call a dog with no tongue? stinky baws.

  14. #133
    Testimonial Due Dinkydoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,747
    I'd been having trouble with my new IPhone until i changed the device name to "Titanic".......

    It's syncing great now!

  15. #134
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    16,990
    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

  16. #135
    Left by mutual consent! Peevemor's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Saint-Malo, Brittany
    Age
    56
    Posts
    28,678
    Quote Originally Posted by Hiberlin View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

  17. #136
    Testimonial Due forthhibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    the forth
    Age
    57
    Posts
    2,976
    I've just invented a cure for cynicism...

    I don't think it will work though.

  18. #137
    @hibs.net private member R'Albin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,478
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Razza96
    Conjunctivitis.com - That's a site for sore eyes.

  19. #138
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    16,990
    Hearts fan has been admitted to A&E after inserting 7 "My little Pony" figures into his rectum. Doctors describe his condition as stable.

  20. #139
    @hibs.net private member alhibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    near the libby
    Age
    68
    Posts
    621
    Quote Originally Posted by Hiberlin View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    When my Dr told me that they may have a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
    Brilliant, made me LOL

  21. #140
    First Team Breakthrough Adam Green's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Lonesome Town, NY
    Posts
    263
    I was in the off licence earlier looking at what wine to buy.
    There was a girl in there in front of me, only about 21, really good looking with a short skirt on.
    She bent down to pick up a bottle and I saw she wasn't wearing any knickers.
    She got a Merlot.
    I got a Semillon.

  22. #141
    @hibs.net private member SRHibs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Newcastle/Gateshead
    Age
    35
    Posts
    5,341
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Limit Break PSN ID: cyniUK
    So René Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Can I fix you a drink?” Descartes replies, “I think not”—and disappears.

  23. #142
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    16,990
    I've just been diagnosed with CDO. It's a bit like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be.

  24. #143
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gross Kienitz
    Posts
    16,990
    Saw a car with the bumper sticker "I'm a vet and that's why I drive like an animal" today.

    Suddenly it became clear to me just how many gynecologists are on our roads.

  25. #144
    Pavlov's sitting in the pub when the telephone rings. "My God!" exclaims Pavlov, "I forgot to feed the dog!".

  26. #145
    @hibs.net private member snooky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Down East
    Posts
    12,130
    Quote Originally Posted by hibby rae View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Pavlov's sitting in the pub when the telephone rings. "My God!" exclaims Pavlov, "I forgot to feed the dog!".
    Away ye go man. Yer slaverin'

  27. #146
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    57,281
    Just heard Robert De Niro is to play the main character in the film of Harold Shipmans life, its called the old dear hunter.

  28. #147
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    57,281
    A Psychiatry student is sent to the mental hospital to evaluate 3 of the worst cases in the country. He's lead down a stairwell into the basement where there's three heavy locked iron doors. He unlocks the first and goes inside.

    Standing in the middle of the room is a guy swinging his arms like he's holding a bat.

    "What are you doing" asks the student.

    "I'm Babe Ruth and when I hit a home run, I'm getting out of here", replies the patient.

    The student then goes into the 2nd room.

    Standing in the middle of the room is a guy swinging his arms like he has a golf club.

    "What are you doing?" asks the student.

    "I'm Arnold Palmer and when I get a hole in one, I'm getting out of here".

    The student then goes into the third room.

    When he walks into the room he sees a guy lying on a bed, completely naked, trying to balance a walnut on the end of his cock.

    "What the hell are you doing???" asked the student.

    The patient replied, "I'm ****ing nuts and I'm never getting out of here"

  29. #148
    @hibs.net private member PercyHibs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Age
    40
    Posts
    670
    One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.

  30. #149
    @hibs.net private member Loopz's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    405
    Why do mice have small balls?




    Because not very many of them are good dancers.

  31. #150
    @hibs.net private member hibby19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Corstorphine, Edinburgh
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,684
    Do I know any jokes about Sodium?

    Na.
    ".....Hearts midfielder Laryea Kingston insists he can fulfil all his dreams at Tynecastle - by winning the SPL and a European trophy.
    The Ghanaian is certain the Jambos will soon become a major power at home and abroad"


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
hibs.net ©2020 All Rights Reserved
- Mobile Leaderboard (320x50) - Leaderboard (728x90)