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  1. #541
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    I hate being bipolar, its awesome.


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  3. #542
    Pun Lovin' Criminal Northernhibee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caversham Green View Post
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    Los Angeles, late 1940s. Everyone who was anyone wore trilbys.

    Songwriter Sammy Cahn has just opened a new type of nightclub where, instead of live music they play records over the PA system. One night the young Tony Bennett decides to visit and checks his mac and trilby into the cloakroom. After a few drinks Tony decides to for out for something to eat but as he'll be coming back doesn't bother to take his stuff back out of the cloakroom.

    At the kebab van he bumps into Frank Sinatra who say 'Hi, Tony no headwear tonight?'.

    To which Bennett replies:




    "I left my hat in Sam Cahn's disco."
    Frank Sinatra once lost his steak pie she put clubbing in Dundee.

    When asked about it he said “I left my tart in Fat Sams disco”


    Do you think your security can keep you in purity, you will not shake us off above or below. Scottish friction, Scottish fiction

  4. #543
    @hibs.net private member Hibbyradge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackpoolhibs View Post
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    I hate being bipolar, its awesome.
    That's good. 👍
    Buy nothing online unless you check for free cashback here first. I've already earned £1,789.68!



  5. #544
    First Team Breakthrough
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    My pet mouse Elvis died this morning.

    He was caught in a trap.

  6. #545
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    A convict with a stutter died in prison just before he could finish his sentence.

  7. #546
    Administrator matty_f's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackpoolhibs View Post
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    A convict with a stutter died in prison just before he could finish his sentence.
    I like that one.

  8. #547
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    A sperm donor, a joiner and Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He came, he saw and he conquered.

  9. #548
    @hibs.net private member Captain Trips's Avatar
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    I had to phone a drugs helpline today and was told "If your problem is related to cannabis press hash"
    If I choose to revert back to Carlsberg it will have to be The Carlsberg

  10. #549
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    A man sees a monkey in the jungle with a tin opener and says, "You don't need a tin opener to open bananas."
    To which the monkey replies, "It's for the custard, you daft *******.”

  11. #550
    I was in spec savers the other day, you’ll never guess who I bumped into? 👀 Absolutely everyone 😆👀😂😂😂😂😂😂

  12. #551
    First Team Breakthrough
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    Did you hear about the alcoholic dyslexic man?

    He choked on his own vimto.

  13. #552
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibby's Avatar
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    After several break ins at butchers across the city, Police are struggling to find the missing link.
    "If a player is not interfering with play or seeking to gain
    an advantage, then he should be."

  14. #553
    First Team Regular Mixu62's Avatar
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    Asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She said, "they're right behind you".

  15. #554
    Exit signs. Are they on the way out?

  16. #555
    Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?"
    Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

  17. #556
    Private Members Prediction League Winner Hibrandenburg's Avatar
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    I was going to post a smart time travelling joke but nobody liked it.

  18. #557
    @hibs.net private member Dan Sarf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hibrandenburg View Post
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    I was going to post a smart time travelling joke but nobody liked it.

    Wow!

  19. #558
    Administrator matty_f's Avatar
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    Gamertag: franck sauzee
    I was going to see Bohemian Rhapsody last night, but the lighting wasn’t that great – I could see a little sillhoutte of a man…

  20. #559
    Coaching Staff Future17's Avatar
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    The bathroom at work had a sign on the door which said

    DO NOT USE
    OUT OF ORDER

    so I made sure I went to the toilet before I washed my hands.

  21. #560
    @hibs.net private member blackpoolhibs's Avatar
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    I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . .. .It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.


  22. #561
    Administrator matty_f's Avatar
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    Gamertag: franck sauzee
    It's amazing how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.

  23. #562
    Went to the supermarket to get 6 cans of sprite, when I got home, I realized I picked 7 up.

    Bob Mortimer-Athletico Mince.

  24. #563
    @hibs.net private member CropleyWasGod's Avatar
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    You ever heard of campanology?

    Not sure, but it rings a bell.

    Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk

  25. #564
    @hibs.net private member Scouse Hibby's Avatar
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    How many Rangers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, they all still live in the dark age.
    "If a player is not interfering with play or seeking to gain
    an advantage, then he should be."

  26. #565
    First Team Breakthrough Alfiembra's Avatar
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    Saw a film about a cartoon teabag it was rated PG

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