A woman tells her husband she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband says, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do. it" "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." "How does that make them bigger?..."asks the wife "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
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Thread: joke
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25-03-2010 09:11 PM #1
V-BUTTON CHAMPION 2008
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joke
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26-03-2010 12:39 PM #2Coaching Staff
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I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a ***** ... only smaller".
I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary ... only fatter and less flexible".
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Walked into HMV and the assistant said "Good morning".
I said, "You too".
He said, "Second aisle, first shelf on the left".
Funny ****er.
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Hand Jobs are like Women's Football.
A cheap imitation of something men do better themselves.
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26-03-2010 12:40 PM #3Left by mutual consent!
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26-03-2010 04:50 PM #4@hibs.net private member
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I've just successfully auditioned for a part in the Scottish version of "The Chronicles of Narnia."
It's called, "Lying Pissed in the Wardrobe."
What's a circus master's favourite type of cigarette?
A roll-up.
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26-03-2010 05:02 PM #5First Team Regular
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I just got a letter from the origami society.
I don't know what to make of it.
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27-03-2010 10:57 AM #6@hibs.net private member
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Originally Posted by Leicester Fan
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27-03-2010 11:02 AM #7@hibs.net private member
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A guy has been out on the booze. When he arrives back home, he is met by his wife who is most definately not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon.Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!"
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do."
"Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling...................
"Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night"
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