Bling me the head of damarcus beasley

[(((Fergus)))]

From the Guardian:

While the annual exit of the Pope's O'Rangers' from Europe is becoming as autumnal a staple as leaves falling from the trees, it's probably safe to assume that Ibrox legends of yore - men such as Davie Cooper, Terry Butcher, Jim Baxter and John Greig – marked the occasion with a lengthy bout of introspection and 24 pints of Heavy, followed by one of those cartoon brawls consisting of a giant cloud with assorted fists, feet and grunting Scottish noises emerging from it.

How things have changed … and not for the better. As if the Pope's O'Rangers' performances in this year's Big Cup weren't embarrassing enough, several of the club's players – including habitually awol Algerian Madjid Bougherra - decided to mark the occasion by attending the launch of their team-mate DaMarcus Beasley's line of jewellery. Yes, jewellery. "I'm really excited about this, jewellery is something I have always loved," chirruped the blingtastic USA! USA! USA! winger, as somewhere far away, his manager Walter Smith shook his head, rolled his eyes to heaven and emitted a weary sigh. "I will be helping with the designs and my signature will be on them."

So what has Beasley designed for the discerning O'Rangers fan about town? Those tasteful British Bulldog sovereign rings, chunky ID bracelets and diamond-encrusted bowler hats no self-respecting Bluenose will leave the house without? Eh, not quite. The collection includes several diamond rings and according to Summera Shaheen, Beasley's co-designer (ie the woman who did all the actual work) "we're also doing crosses and dog tags with black diamonds - it will have an urban feel."

O'Rangers fans are advised that's "urban" in the bland, massively over-produced hip-hop and silly hat style, as opposed to the more traditional "lying in a pool of your own sick in a Glaswegian gutter after your team has disgraced itself in Big Cup again" sense of the word.

[--------]

How I WISH - OH how I WISH - I'd written that!

[poolman]

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From the Guardian:

While the annual exit of the Pope's O'Rangers' from Europe is becoming as autumnal a staple as leaves falling from the trees, it's probably safe to assume that Ibrox legends of yore - men such as Davie Cooper, Terry Butcher, Jim Baxter and John Greig – marked the occasion with a lengthy bout of introspection and 24 pints of Heavy, followed by one of those cartoon brawls consisting of a giant cloud with assorted fists, feet and grunting Scottish noises emerging from it.

How things have changed … and not for the better. As if the Pope's O'Rangers' performances in this year's Big Cup weren't embarrassing enough, several of the club's players – including habitually awol Algerian Madjid Bougherra - decided to mark the occasion by attending the launch of their team-mate DaMarcus Beasley's line of jewellery. Yes, jewellery. "I'm really excited about this, jewellery is something I have always loved," chirruped the blingtastic USA! USA! USA! winger, as somewhere far away, his manager Walter Smith shook his head, rolled his eyes to heaven and emitted a weary sigh. "I will be helping with the designs and my signature will be on them."

So what has Beasley designed for the discerning O'Rangers fan about town? Those tasteful British Bulldog sovereign rings, chunky ID bracelets and diamond-encrusted bowler hats no self-respecting Bluenose will leave the house without? Eh, not quite. The collection includes several diamond rings and according to Summera Shaheen, Beasley's co-designer (ie the woman who did all the actual work) "we're also doing crosses and dog tags with black diamonds - it will have an urban feel."

O'Rangers fans are advised that's "urban" in the bland, massively over-produced hip-hop and silly hat style, as opposed to the more traditional "lying in a pool of your own sick in a Glaswegian gutter after your team has disgraced itself in Big Cup again" sense of the word.

Now that is a peice of journalism

[Danderhall Hibs]

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it's probably safe to assume that Ibrox legends of yore - men such as Davie Cooper, Terry Butcher, Jim Baxter and John Greig – marked the occasion with a lengthy bout of introspection and 24 pints of Heavy, followed by one of those cartoon brawls consisting of a giant cloud with assorted fists, feet and grunting Scottish noises emerging from it.

Do you think the journalist knows?

[CropleyWasGod]

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Do you think the journalist knows?

I've just asked. Will be interesting to see the answer. Shame that such an entertaining article was spoiled by a bit of laziness.

[Disc O'Dave]

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Do you think the journalist knows?

I don't thing the journo is implying they marked the recent exit fom europe with 24 pints of heavy and a fist fight, I think he's implying that what they would have done in their day. When they weren't dead. If that's where your going with that.

[--------]

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I don't thing the journo is implying they marked the recent exit fom europe with 24 pints of heavy and a fist fight, I think he's implying that what they would have done in their day. When they weren't dead. If that's where your going with that.

Might be true of Baxter (not the fist-fight) but certainly not of Davie Cooper.

Wonder what Butcher'll think of it?

Now if WE'D written that article, we wouldn't have made that mistake.

[Danderhall Hibs]

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it's probably safe to assume that Ibrox legends of yore - men such as Davie Cooper, Terry Butcher, Jim Baxter and John Greig – marked the occasion with a lengthy bout of introspection and 24 pints of Heavy, followed by one of those cartoon brawls consisting of a giant cloud with assorted fists, feet and grunting Scottish noises emerging from it.

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I don't thing the journo is implying they marked the recent exit fom europe with 24 pints of heavy and a fist fight, I think he's implying that what they would have done in their day. When they weren't dead. If that's where your going with that.

He got the tense wrong then.

Keith Jackson will be spinning in his grave.

[superfurryhibby]

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Now that is a peice of journalism

Who wrote this article? Just wondering.

Quality wideness, as they say.

[jakedance]

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Who wrote this article? Just wondering.

Quality wideness, as they say.

It's from the Fiver. A free football email the guardian sends out every evening that is usually amusing and ocassionally hilarious. Well worth signing up for.

I can't be arsed finding a link but it should be easy enough to find on their football page.

[sahib]

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I've just asked. Will be interesting to see the answer. Shame that such an entertaining article was spoiled by a bit of laziness.

I am not up, enough, on English grammer to name the tense of the first paragraph but I would bet it was a past one. That is the one where all dead people were alive - so thats alright then.

[One Day Soon]

The article isn't half bad but the real genius is in the title. "Bling me the head of Damarcus Beasley" has to be one of the funniest thread titles ever.

Fact. End of.