Fundamental Principles & Doctrines Of Hibs.Net

[flash]

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- All official match update threads should be started by CalgaryHibs with the obligatory weather question punctuating his opening post.

Aye and where the hell is the one for tonight's game!!??

[hibsdaft]

lyonhibs posts will consist of 250 words + and multiple smilies that were best consigned to history.

[Woody1985]

LiverpoolHibs has recently been overtaken by TwoCarpets as the font of all knowledge in the Holyground.

FalkirkHibee will be dismissed as a right wing racists at any given opportunity. And also like the occassional poll!

[snooky]

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Mixu and Chisholm excepted of course.

What's your stance on the ER catering services?


Oh my God - I've just started a 100 poster again.

[Woody1985]

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Much like drinking, getting married and standing for parliament, age limits apply to Hibs.

If you were born after the mid-70s (so many of them now ) this game has a statutory placing as "...the best atmosphere ever at a Hibs game". A defence of "No, the CIS Cup Final was" is allowed, but only if followed in no less than twenty posts by a Youtube link to the Beeb coverage with Murph and Benj; a Youtube link to someone's phone footage of "SoL"; and a bitter and rancorous debate between the usual suspects about whether or whether not it was Mowbray's team wot won the Cup .

And another thing

Roughly four times a year (might coincide with the summer and winter solstices and the vernal and autumnal equinox, don't know because I haven't checked), someone will enquire about Chico scoring from inside his own half. By law, a thread must follow that establishes the following, over the meandering course of several posts:

• that he scored up the slope;
• it was against Alloa
• that Pat McGinlay also scored with a long-distance lob
• Paddy's goal was against Kilmarnock though
• And it was down the slope
• God, we were top of the league or summat for a bit and we still got relegated
• While we probably would have still got relegated, we wouldn't have if we hadn't got that 2-2 draw against the yams, thus allowing Duffy to keep his job
• Did Chico not score a great goal against Celtc on opening day?
• Henrik Larsson' fault
• The other goal was scored by Lee Power

You're forgetting that he chased away some neds who had a sword at PTs training.

[Iain G]

Once a season someone will post asking what happened to Jonathon Baillie.

[lyonhibs]

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lyonhibs posts will consist of 250 words + and multiple smilies that were best consigned to history.

Easy tiger, it takes a really emotive subject (e.g. Thierry Gathuessi) to get me THAT worked up - Shaun Lawson I am not - thank *****.

Overuse of smilies I may, sometimes, be guilty of.

Next offering: every so often, a poster will hark back and yearn for the "good old days" claiming that "football has been taken from the working class man". This poster will usually be no older than 30 years old, and therefore have no (or, at best, a very embryonic) memory of said "good old days".

Some auld git will then come on and clarify that - whilst Hibs may have been better on the pitch - the "good old days" consisted mainly of sectarian pish from the Hibs terraces, racist pish from a good few other clubs, spending a lot of time getting caught up in running battles with opposing hooligans and worrying about when the guy behind you was next going to pish down the back of your leg.

These threads will still reappear - at least - twice a month.

[rainman]

There must be a "Does anybody know what Frank Sauzee is up to these days?" thread at least once every 6 months.

Any complaint of a centre half being too small or not winning enough headers can be neutralised immediately with the mention of Cannavaro*.

*The same goes for goalkeepers by mentioning Goram.

[Steve-O]

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Roughly four times a year (might coincide with the summer and winter solstices and the vernal and autumnal equinox, don't know because I haven't checked), someone will enquire about Chico scoring from inside his own half. By law, a thread must follow that establishes the following, over the meandering course of several posts:

• that he scored up the slope;
• it was against Alloa
• that Pat McGinlay also scored with a long-distance lob
• Paddy's goal was against Kilmarnock though
• And it was down the slope
• God, we were top of the league or summat for a bit and we still got relegated
• While we probably would have still got relegated, we wouldn't have if we hadn't got that 2-2 draw against the yams, thus allowing Duffy to keep his job
• Did Chico not score a great goal against Celtc on opening day?
• Henrik Larsson' fault
• The other goal was scored by Lee Power

[Steve-O]

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What's your stance on the ER catering services?


Oh my God - I've just started a 100 poster again.

Why can't we bring in Greggs to do the catering?

[MyJo]

LOL he's gonna pump her

[lyonhibs]

Very frequently, when a specific few posters get hold of a particular thread that they like, they will constantly and needlessly bump it up to the top of the page, much to the irritation of the remaining 90% of .net posters.

Everyone secretly wonders if HibbyAndy is going to stage some incredible "online" return from the depths, just to really delight the denziens of JKB

[BEEJ]

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To make your argument unassailable you must agree with your own post using this smiley . This immediately proves you have one backer ie you.

I've never understood that use of the agree smiley.

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After every poor match in many different threads shall arguments over one player between his lovers and haters erupt similtaenously. The threads shall be many pages long and gain nothing. The two opposing mantras will be "he is never hibs class and you're a yam" and "he hasn't had enough time he's doing unseen work a true hibs supporter would get behind the lads unlike you."

[ArabHibee]

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Very frequently, when a specific few posters get hold of a particular thread that they like, they will constantly and needlessly bump it up to the top of the page, much to the irritation of the remaining 90% of .net posters.

Bump!

[Speedway]

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A thread must be started for every player within our price range on the lookout for a club stating that "He could do a job for us".
Every under 19 player must be talked up for an automatic place in the 1st team regardless of ability. If they do end up playing for the 1st team, they must in turn be heavily criticised after their first game and branded as "never good enough" in order to completely destroy their confidence

When we are away to Hamilton, no Hibbies who have attended the game are allowed to post their views on it until all the fans have come back.

Currently coming to pass on the main board now.

[Seany HFC 7-0]

Reading through these posts some have gave me a great laugh!
All very true!

[jgl07]

Every two months new malky hibs will put in a 'depth charge' of a posting drawn from the Kickback book of talking points.

It will accuse the Hibs directors of lining their pockets with the proceeds of player sales. It will also accuse the Hibs board of lacking yambition and failing to 'speculate to accumulate'.

The posting will be mysteriously silent of his own experience and background as a Hibs supporter.

The will lead other to weigh in guoting every factually incorrect suggestion such as that Hibs pay their first team squad the national minimum wage and that most of the wage bill is swollowed up by the army of accountants, financial planners employed at Easter Road.

[BEEJ]

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Andy74 will spring to the defence of anyone or anything that comes in for criticism.

He and assorted others.

[snooky]

There is such a big demand to be the first to post "Source?" on a thread that the admin are considering rationing the word to one use of "source?" per person per season.

It is also acceptable to consistently misspell the call "Here, Here".
Fear not, no one will reply "Where? Where?" ;-)

[Danderhall Hibs]

A link to the advert with ET in it wearing a Hibs strip must be requested either once a month or 12 times per calendar year.

[da-robster]

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A link to the advert with ET in it wearing a Hibs strip must be requested either once a month or 12 times per calendar year.

After the inevitable link to one of the many E.T threads that particular thread shall be bumped up again and posters shall once again take up sides on either the Dundee United or Hearts sides.Seeing a no side has any evidence too prove what theyre saying or disprove what they're saying the thread shall continue untill the time comes when the fans come back. There shall also be someone who has bothered to write to B.T being politely told to bolt.

There must be a thread entitled Just Back after every game entailing just how the match went in great detail.

Posting source after every post posting some information shall make you very big and clever.

[Speedway]

Every signing of a 'player of quality' will not be completed in a timescale of acceptable length to the 'faithful'.

Every signing completed in a timely manner will not be 'Hibs Class'

Every signing of a 'player of quality' that does not prove himself as such by 10 minutes into his debut will be a huge waste of cash and the blame will be laid squarely on the player, manager and board for allowing such a travesty of squandering of sacred funds.

Speedway is the judge, jury and executioner of Hibs.Net (just for the sake of consistency with a tongue in cheek post on another thread)

Transfer fees received since 2006 have not 'vanished'

[IWasThere2016]

All new members must expect to be invited for 'induction' by TPAKA

[IWasThere2016]

Trevor Hannant is still in charge

[Speedway]

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All new members must expect to be invited for 'induction' by TPAKA

Resistance is futile.

[Phil MaGlass]

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Very frequently, when a specific few posters get hold of a particular thread that they like, they will constantly and needlessly bump it up to the top of the page, much to the irritation of the remaining 90% of .net posters.

Everyone secretly wonders if HibbyAndy is going to stage some incredible "online" return from the depths, just to really delight the denziens of JKB

bump

[The_Todd]

Every year, all posters shall compete for the honour of being JKB's "Flumps.net Hobo of the Year" or something.

Your prize will be to spend a night in Dexter's basement while he lets Boabster off his leish.

[lyonhibs]

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Every year, all posters shall compete for the honour of being JKB's "Flumps.net Hobo of the Year" or something.

Your prize will be to spend a night in Dexter's basement while he lets Boabster off his leish.

Since the unfortunate retirement of HibbyAndy, bookies pay out on Sergey winning this on January 3rd each year (or January 4th depending on how long it takes him to recover from the New Year hangover). Still, it's a jolly good laugh, and all cited .netters move up the .net "Respect" food chain.

Every so often, PM board banter between a small group of posters will spill onto the main board, and usually 1 or 2 threads in particular that are always unrelated to the banter subject matter, thus get totally hijacked.

The PM board should, however, be eternally commended for the "Nade is Pish" thread, which ranks alongside the Dead Parrot sketc as the funniest thing I have ever seen.

[The_Todd]

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Since the unfortunate retirement of HibbyAndy, bookies pay out on Sergey winning this on January 3rd each year (or January 4th depending on how long it takes him to recover from the New Year hangover).

It's a lot like the SPL, the rest of us are only competing for "best of the rest".

[Hibby D]

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To make your argument unassailable you must agree with your own post using this smiley . This immediately proves you have one backer ie you.


It is expected in official match threads for every third poster to post a line of these smileys or these smileys .when a goal, booking or throw in is conceded.

After every poor match in many different threads shall arguments over one player between his lovers and haters erupt similtaenously. The threads shall be many pages long and gain nothing. The two opposing mantras will be "he is never hibs class and you're a yam" and "he hasn't had enough time he's doing unseen work a true hibs supporter would get behind the lads unlike you."

Older posters shall constantly post patronising remarks about how they went through hibs darkest hours and they where far worse than the recent drubbing off a team who we where meant to be better than, these posts must end with this smiley Younger posters will ignore these posts.

Only private membership or 1000 posts will save you from being called a yam.

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There is such a big demand to be the first to post "Source?" on a thread that the admin are considering rationing the word to one use of "source?" per person per season.

It is also acceptable to consistently misspell the call "Here, Here".
Fear not, no one will reply "Where? Where?" ;-)