HMRC - Still Investigating The Yams (Merged)?

[Baw187]

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I often imagine the average Jambo Joe (or Julie) sitting in a flat with a stack of unopened envelopes blocking the front door. They have been cut off from reality long ago due to the phone being cut off and they have no electricity to watch TV.

However, they still put on a dinner suit every night and set the table for a four course meal. After they've polished off the Farmfoods cheese cake, and are onto the cigars and brandy, the conversation turns to finance.

"How can we afford this luxury, Joe", asks Mrs Yam.

"Why easliy Callum", replies Joe (not his real name). By buying Russian hats in the former Soviet Union, and selling them in the EU, we can make a substantial profit, thus meeting the spending requirements of established members of the gentry, like ourselves, ken?".

"But Wullie, I mean Joe, Mrs Methadone from Lochend says that you have to bring in more money than you spend, else you will end up in poverty, like her neighbours The Hobos".

"Pay no attention to the Hobos, or Mrs Methadone, my sweet. You see they haven't been brought up to expect the best. Faced with the choice of a lifetime of drudgery, they pay their bills out of fear. They do not have the imagination to see that you have to specualte to accumulate".

"Oh, but...."

"And another thing - don't interrupt me whilst I'm talking - or I'll be getting wee Robbo out of his cage, and you won't like that".

"Wouldnae be sae sure Joe, it's been a while since the back of the net rippled round here like it used to".


"Aye well, ah work hard ye ken, anyway. Thae Hobos believe everything they read in the papers. It's how the likes of us establishemnt types keep them down, through fear. Thir so feart of what might happen, they dinnae take chances, us on the other hand".

"Take whatever ever chance we git, oh a do love you Callum, hoos about washing wee robbo, and we'll go and have a wee game ower the park?"

"Ah wid wullie, it's jist thit ah cannae get oot the front door for aw they bills."

Very amusing..

[Gatecrasher]

its on SSN now

[Phil D. Rolls]

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It was reported to be £1.3 million -nothing to a man of Vlads wealth and a club with 400,000 supporters.

Ach, they'll get that money when they sell Driver, and they'll have enough for fish suppers all round. Non story, move along there's nothing to see here, conspiracy etc

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Nice to see the Vladsheep over the road have swallowed the announcement on the official site that everything is fine and there is no problem with HMRC. Its just the Yam hating Evening News and their pro Hobo agenda making up naughty stories to stir up trouble.

You get the feeling that if all Jambos relocated to the Antarctic you would have no problem selling icecubes to them.

Aye, but it would be a different story when it came to them paying for them.

[Booked4Being-Ugly]

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its on SSN now

Bloody Hobo producers no doubt the whole media is conspiring against them!

[Part/Time Supporter]

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Ach, they'll get that money when they sell Driver, and they'll have enough for fish suppers all round. Non story, move along there's nothing to see here, conspiracy etc

Injured for six weeks (ie he won't be fit until the window shuts). No readies from that direction.

Tick tock

[Danderhall Hibs]

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Injured for six weeks (ie he won't be fit until the window shuts). No readies from that direction.

Tick tock

Or they could sell him at a knock down £200m due to his injury.

[Barney McGrew]

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Has anybody on Keechback asked how much Hearts owe the taxman?

You're kidding right?

They never ask difficult questions about things like that, they're all too busy getting chubbies over the thought of signing another player from the Spanish eighth division who once scored a goal four years ago and has played two games since.

Anyone who asks a question like that will have been labelled a hobo and launched by Dexter anyway.

[Phil D. Rolls]

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Injured for six weeks (ie he won't be fit until the window shuts). No readies from that direction.

Tick tock

So trying to put this sequence of events into a logical order we have:

1) Yams agree payment schedule for outstanding debt to HMRC.
2) Driver gets injured.
3) Yams try to stimulate cash flow by selling entire season's tickets in August.
4) Revenue file court order asking for cash.
5) Yams say they've already paid (or words that might seem like that's what they mean).

Is this right?

[Cabbage East]

Total non-story from a pro-Hibs media

[matty_f]

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You're kidding right?

They never ask difficult questions about things like that, they're all too busy getting chubbies over the thought of signing another player from the Spanish eigth division who once scored a goal four years ago and has played two games since.

Anyone who asks a question like that will have been labelled a hobo and launched by Dexter anyway.

Got to get free tickets somehow!

[monktonharp]

we rebelled ,they shut us down,...........now it's lonely down in Tyncastle these days...............low lie the fields of tyncastle.............where once a big team played with pace........along came Vladimir,with his henchmen and his son............now the jambos are all hiding in disgrace.............low lie the fields.... loved the wee bit on the front of EEN ,with the crown above the hertz badge

[Cabbage East]

They won't like this......

[H18sry]

Non story, quiet newsday, hobo journo's yada yada yada

[MrSmith]

This whole episode completely baffles me from the perspective of: what the heck are the jumbo fans thinking and doing?

It's crystal clear what is going on with Vlad and Hearts, yet they are all sitting on their hands doing absolutely nothing!!

I would be fairly pissed if they went under because as much as I love beating them at ER, there is nothing better than beating them at Tynie! The derby is, for me, simply the best game in Scottish football.

Administration would be the best way to go for the Jumbos but ye cannae tell them anyhing because they know best!!

[Chuckie]

A wee karaoke tune for down Gorgie way...

To the tune of Blur - Tender


Tenner for the side
Dying by our side
Tenner is not much
For someone that you love too much
Tenner please today
The demons will go away
Lord I need to find
Someone who can pay my fines

Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that payment
Im waiting for that payment
Waiting for that payment to come

Oh my Vlady
Oh my Vlady
Oh why
Oh my


Tenner for some pills
For hiding from our bills
Waiting for the tax man to come
Tenner for the hearts
For screwing up my life
Lord I need to find
Someone who can pay my fines


Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that payment
Im waiting for that payment
Waiting for that payment to come

Oh my Vlady
Oh my Vlady
Oh why
Oh my
X2

[iwasthere1972]

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its on SSN now

Are the wheels still on or are they in for a quick repair at Kwikfit?

Are we speaking doomed yet?

Ticky Tocky

[One Day Soon]

Unbelievably good. Just exceptionally funny.Take a bow.

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Original by Filled Rolls: Scotsman Today

Nursery Times 30/7/09

IF I COVER MY FACE YOU CAN'T SEE ME!

Police, and animal experts were called to West Edinburgh today, following what appears to have been the abduction of several farm yard animals from am establishement in Gorgie Road.

Relatives were becoming increasingly worried as to the whereabouts of their loved ones. One, who didn't want to be named (but has not been made up by us either) said, "we got a visit from a Mr Loxy, saying that the sky was going to fall and that he had a shelter for us over at Murrayfield, personally I had my doubts, but several of the others seem to have gone off with him".

One worried mother, Mrs. Marjorie Licken said, "it seems you can't trust anyone these days, the newspapers are full of lies, so when Mr Loxy said he was on our side, we had to believe him".

Another, Mrs. Lucy Goosey (is this right - ed) of Wardlaw Street, said "things have been a bit dodgy round here for a long time, I remember the days when you could leave your door open all night, and providing Hearts didn't have any outstanding summonses, you knew your stuff would still be there in the morning".


But, some of her neighbours were less charitable, Mr George Faux-Pas of the Friends of Gorgie Farm, spluttered. He then coughed, threw up and spluttered again, before stating "fuggin Romanov, fuggin baxter, he fuggin fugged up the whole fuggin thing when he sacked me ya fuggin kent".

Whether more comes of this tale of everyday family animals is a matter of speculation. It is not the first time there has been speculation on whether the sky in gorgie is falling, and it may not be the last. What is clear is that the animals in Gorgie love Mr. Loxy, and no-one can tell them different.

OTHER BREAKING NEWS
Tarts stolen, knave blames Nade.
Miss Muffet Molested On Tuffet By Rix the Spider
Old King Cole Calls for Three Fiddlers but Visa Problems Cause Delays
Nade Sits in Corner With Finger in a Pie - Claims
Filled Rolls is online now Report Po

[Sergey]

Other than a post castigating, Shaun Lawson, there seems to be a dearth of our pink friends willing to contribute on this thread.



Reveille.

[hibs0666]

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Other than a post castigating, Shaun Lawson, there seems to be a dearth of our pink friends willing to contribute on this thread.



Reveille.

Too busy in the lavvy shiitin themselves mate.

[lapsedhibee]

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The timing of this isn't good. It would wreck the SPL for this season if it loses a team in the first few months. The SPL/SFA/Whoever should get assurances from Hearts that they'll see the season out. If they don't get those assurances they should be demoted to divison 3 before the season starts and the teams that just missed out on promotion last season can be bumped up a league.

To allow Hearts to go into the new season with HMRC on their tail and no way of paying the bill would be gross incompetence by those who run football in this country.

[Pedantic_Hibee]

Just had a read over on JKB to gauge reaction to today's news.

******ing staggering.

[Barney McGrew]

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Just had a read over on JKB to gauge reaction to today's news.

******ing staggering.

They seem happy to believe that there's actually nothing amiss and that HMRC must have it all wrong because a spokesman for Hertz says they've been paying their bills.

I'm assuming this is the same spokesman that told them about world cup stars arriving, new stands getting built and a world class DoF being appointed just before Jim Duffy strolled out from behind the curtain - so they're right to treat it as a non story.

[MSK]

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They seem happy to believe that there's actually nothing amiss and that HMRC must have it all wrong becuase a spokesman for Hertz says they've been paying their bills.

I'm assuming this is the same spokesman that told them about world cup stars arriving, new stands getting built and a world class DoF being appointed just before Jim Duffy strolled out from behind the curtain - so they're right to treat it as a non story.

Or the same person who paid the cash & carry their bill after their bog roll delivery had been cancelled !!..the order was held up for two weeks ....yam tramps !!!!!

[marinello59]

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They seem happy to believe that there's actually nothing wrong and that HMRC must have it all wrong becuase a spokesman for Hertz says they've been paying their bills.

I'm assuming this is the same spokesman that told them about world cup stars arriving, new stands getting built and a world class DoF being appointed just before Jim Duffy strolled out from behind the curtain - so they're right to treat it as a non story.

EEN reports on their problems. A Hobo driven rag spouting pesh. And the newspaper will soon go bust.

STV reports on their problems. Merely trying to divert attention from the Celtic score. And the reporter is probably gay.

Their Official Website says it's all OK. They all bend over with their pants down.

[MSK]

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EEN reports on their problems. A Hobo driven rag spouting pesh. And the newspaper will soon go bust.

STV reports on their problems. Merely trying to divert attention from the Celtic score. And the reporter is probably gay.

Their Official Website says it's all OK. They all bend over with their pants down.

Aye..now they have their bogroll !!!!

[forthhibby]

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EEN reports on their problems. A Hobo driven rag spouting pesh. And the newspaper will soon go bust.

STV reports on their problems. Merely trying to divert attention from the Celtic score. And the reporter is probably gay.

Their Official Website says it's all OK. They all bend over with their pants down.

can someone remember what there official website said when the problem first arose with wages not being paid

[down the slope]

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Or the same person who paid the cash & carry their bill after their bog roll delivery had been cancelled !!..the order was held up for two weeks ....yam tramps !!!!!

On the hole it disnae matter.

[matty_f]

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A wee karaoke tune for down Gorgie way...

To the tune of Blur - Tender


Tenner for the side
Dying by our side
Tenner is not much
For someone that you love too much
Tenner please today
The demons will go away
Lord I need to find
Someone who can pay my fines

Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that payment
Im waiting for that payment
Waiting for that payment to come

Oh my Vlady
Oh my Vlady
Oh why
Oh my


Tenner for some pills
For hiding from our bills
Waiting for the tax man to come
Tenner for the hearts
For screwing up my life
Lord I need to find
Someone who can pay my fines


Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
Vlads the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that payment
Im waiting for that payment
Waiting for that payment to come

Oh my Vlady
Oh my Vlady
Oh why
Oh my
X2

Great tune! Lovin' the new lyrics

[Barney McGrew]

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can someone remember what there official website said when the problem first arose with wages not being paid

http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/...398189,00.html