Has anyone else heard anything about a Hibs theme park?
Just had a call from a reliable source saying that our next venture is to create a Hibs related theme park which will be opening as early as 2014. The details right now are vague but the early signs indicate there will be 3 zones in the draft layout, with plans for expansion if successful and similar parks opening in Florida and Tokyo if it really takes off.
We are currently looking over draft plans for rides and the only one almost confirmed so far is 'The Mouser', a massive backdrop of Rod Petries face but his moustache is a kamikaze that spins around at rapid speeds. An exciting ride that will also leave onlookers amused as Mr Petries moustache spins around his face in a hilarious manner.
Other rides proposed include;
The Hibernian FC coaster - the first rollercoaster in the world that is absolutely brilliant for the first half of the ride before collapsing and stuttering through the final half, leaving customers kinda satisfied but hoping it'll be better next time if worked on overnight.
The Scottish Cup - the queue is disgustingly long and you'll give up well before you get to the end of the it.
Chamber of Horrors - terrified punters are locked in a pitch black room with a naked John Hughes and Graeme Stack, the room is lit by one strobe light. Will you make it out alive?
Dodgems - an innovative and original new ride for a theme park. Customers are placed on a track 20 yards behind a regular size football goal that John Rankin is hitting shots into, can you dodgem all?
Warning - will cause nosebleeds
Circle of Death - pending upon the agreement of Swindon Town FC this ride will see someone put on the shoulders of Alan O'Brien who will proceed to run so fast he can scale walls on the infamous circle of death. The ride will only end when a ball is thrown in front of the O'Brien who will proceed to freeze on the spot bewildered and scared. No Alan O'Briens will be hurt in the making of this ride but due to technical difficulties expect it to be inexplicably closed for regular 6 week spells.
Unfortunately that's all I've heard so far but there are apparently plans in place for more amusements as this develops, either way it's pretty exciting stuff and another piece in the puzzle.
