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Speedway
03-04-2007, 08:20 AM
In the spirit of Wikipedia, please feel free to contribute new or update existing definitions found below until we have a full and concise compendium of reference.

Terms:

Yam - ( Tool, tube, trumpet, muppet )

A mentally impaired or victim of circumstance follower of a derivitive of association football called hoofball (see hoofball)

A Yam, What A Yam! (Mocking, belittling)

A frequently misheard phrase uttered by the cartoon character Popeye. Also heard as 'I am what I am'

Yamfuddery (Knucklescraping, delusion)

Any specious reasoning used to dismiss impending doom.

Yamonomics (innumerate, Enron accounting)

The ability to calculate huge losses, ofset them against assets, still have huge losses and claim to be going in the right direction to Champions League glory.

A McVlad (Poison, Genetically Modified)

Burger served in McDonalds with iceberg lettuce, attractive advertising but ultimately of no substance shooting straight through you and out the other end leaving you feeling hollow and lonely inside.

Yammery (idiocy, cretinous, stupidity)

Any line of thought that lacks reality, reason, sense, foresight or logic.



Please add value below.

The_Sauz
03-04-2007, 08:37 AM
In the spirit of Wikipedia, please feel free to contribute new or update existing definitions found below until we have a full and concise compendium of reference.

Terms:

Yam - ( Tool, tube, trumpet, muppet )

A mentally impaired or victim of circumstance follower of a derivitive of association football called hoofball (see hoofball)

A Yam, What A Yam! (Mocking, belittling)

A frequently misheard phrase uttered by the cartoon character Popeye. Also heard as 'I am what I am'

Yamfuddery (Knucklescraping, delusion)

Any specious reasoning used to dismiss impending doom.

Yamonomics (innumerate, Enron accounting)

The ability to calculate huge losses, ofset them against assets, still have huge losses and claim to be going in the right direction to Champions League glory.

A McVlad (Poison, Genetically Modified)

Burger served in McDonalds with iceberg lettuce, attractive advertising but ultimately of no substance shooting straight through you and out the other end leaving you feeling hollow and lonely inside.

Yammery (idiocy, cretinous, stupidity)

Any line of thought that lacks reality, reason, sense, foresight or logic.



Please add value below.
:roflmao: :faf:

borders.cabbage
03-04-2007, 08:38 AM
Big Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 2 trophies in 40 years

Wee Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 3 trophies in 40 years

Hoofball (kick, punt, grab, pull)
A style of football originating from west Edinburgh

One Day Soon
03-04-2007, 08:56 AM
Yam Bam Festival (ludicrous celebratory event)

An occasion where the result of a football match of no practical consequence is marked by; nazi saluting, sectarian singing, getting pointlessly arrested, smashing up your opponents seating (when you know the bill to repair it will be sent to your own cash strapped club for payment), making complete fuds of yourselves on national television and watching your collection of journeymen players conducting themselves afterwards like rather embarrassing surviving contestants on a celebrity talent show. (see separate entry under 'Parading 3 points on open top bus')

lyonhibs
03-04-2007, 11:12 AM
[quote=Speedway;1060162]In the spirit of Wikipedia, please feel free to contribute new or update existing definitions found below until we have a full and concise compendium of reference.

Terms:

Yam - ( Tool, tube, trumpet, muppet )

A mentally impaired or victim of circumstance follower of a derivitive of association football called hoofball (see hoofball)

A Yam, What A Yam! (Mocking, belittling)

A frequently misheard phrase uttered by the cartoon character Popeye. Also heard as 'I am what I am'

Yamfuddery (Knucklescraping, delusion)

Any specious reasoning used to dismiss impending doom.

Yamonomics (innumerate, Enron accounting)

The ability to calculate huge losses, ofset them against assets, still have huge losses and claim to be going in the right direction to Champions League glory.

A McVlad (Poison, Genetically Modified)

Burger served in McDonalds with iceberg lettuce, attractive advertising but ultimately of no substance shooting straight through you and out the other end leaving you feeling hollow and lonely inside.

Yammery (idiocy, cretinous, stupidity)

Any line of thought that lacks reality, reason, sense, foresight or logic.


:thumbsup: :top marks :not worth :applause: :hilarious

That is absolutely class Speedway - here I am in a posh French University killing myself laughing at that!!! Genius

here are my offerings

to vlad (verb : to hoodwink, rip off without getting your comeuppence)
The act of artificially raising the hopes of lesser beings - usually lacking in formative education and therefore mathematical ability - with a short spell of relative success. Funding for this success must come from shady sources, preferably Bosnain pension funds. Currently more often used in the conditional tense i.e. " I could have vladded it if only I didn't have to submit my accounts to the government"

40,000 - much like the meaning of life apparently equalling 42, this number is to be used to represent any hypothetical figures thrown out by any CEO of any company regarding profit projections, output capacity, market share capacity etc that are clearly (to everyone except shareholders) utterly barmy and conceived in a back room under the influence of Lithuanina 90% proof alchohol

Speedway
03-04-2007, 11:14 AM
Yamathematics (irreconcilable, esperanto)

Like yamonomics, this is where the figures just don't add up and all the signs are (-)

Yamutha (word, shizzle)

Abuse used in the 'hood when mocking ones footballing loyalties insinuating that somehow the parent is to blame.

MyJo
03-04-2007, 11:23 AM
Yam Debt - a very intricate optical illusion performed by Vladimir Romanov whereby he appears to make £30m worth of debt disappear into thin air (please note this illusion only works on Hearts fans..any attempt to recreate this illusion on a group of people with half a brain-cell will only result in you looking foolish)

Scottish Cup 2006 - A "proper" cup that was won by Hearts and was completely worth adding £10m worth of debt to the club to win...and was in no-way whatsoever devalued by Hearts beating a injury ravaged Hibs reserve team in the semi-final and being taken to a penalty shoot-out by second division Gretna in the final.

Wakeyhibee
03-04-2007, 11:31 AM
'Yamcheque' n. non-existant/bounced payment ie 'I received a Yamcheque'

'Yamology' n. new unfounded idiology similar to Scientology.

'Yamolestation' n. Seedy management technique to attract females.

'Yamustbekiddin' n. realisation of an unseen debt/non acceptance of said debt

'A Yammy' n. pathetic fight involving windmilling and handbags at ten paces.

hibs0666
03-04-2007, 12:07 PM
Big Team - (aka Pub Team)

A state of delusion involving the artificial inflation of the perceived status of the Pub Team. This delusion is suffered by Yams and is induced by sexual inadequacy.

The Keeper
03-04-2007, 12:20 PM
Speedway that is...:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

There's also:

Yamus

Prefix, Lithuanian origin. As in Yamusthaveknown or Yamusthaveseenitcoming or Yamustbedeluded.

Also used in descriptive exclamation when seeing Craig Gordon for the first time: yamusthavenocleanedyourfaceasaboy

Speedway
03-04-2007, 12:25 PM
Yamodesty (Rare, Extinct)

Refers to level headed and balanced opinion offered by followers of HOMfc when posting their opinion on internet message boards. See also: Mythology.


Yamedia (Pedestal Falling, Laughing Stock)

The sending out of promotional material depicting what the 'beautiful people' will be wearing this summer without detecting the huge irony. Also the process of getting fined for accusing authoritarian figues at the SFA.

Yamarksandsparks (How much?, Ah've nae got ma wallet)

Any type of retail outlet too expensive and classy for a follower of HOMfc. See also: Non Cash-Only Businesses

Wakeyhibee
03-04-2007, 12:47 PM
Tynie Castles = 'Luxury' Bijou Flats scheme in Gorgie
Yamster = Jambo's pet rat
Yamspam = Jambo Computer Virus
Yam Schtam = Poor dutch CH signing (when promised Japp Stam would sign)

Peevemor
03-04-2007, 12:49 PM
Yamateur One who is paid to perform a task, but is unable to do this correctly due to being in constant denial of the truth regarding his preferred hoofball club (see also Stottsport, John Culoon).

Yamplifier One who practises the use of yamonomics and yamathamatics when estimating his clubs success, potential support, home attendances, etc.

Yamageddon Climactic battle between good football and evil hoofball. No future, the end of existence (see also HOMFC).

Yambition The spoken desire to win national and international trophies, when in reallity scraping a win against the wee team is all you can hope for.

Yamphibian Strange looking creature found living somewhere between dry land and liquidation.

Yamiable Impossible to love, feel affection toward.

Yambiguous The best that can be said of statements (financial or directorial) emitted from the PBS.

Yambassador Charlie Mann (see also impossible task).

Yamalgamation What the yams will call Spartans takeover of their club in autumn 2007.

Hibby Mike
03-04-2007, 12:56 PM
A la "choose life" T-shirt.....

Anybody think this could kick of, definetly would be interested in a Yamsaurus shirt....:thumbsup:

(p.s. with the above quotes on it.....not an actual shirt of a yam)

CapeCodHibby
03-04-2007, 01:47 PM
Yamamma n.
a) The mother of a supporter of filth. Almost always comes with a very large soft shoulders for crying on and very very large nipples for soothing away the feelings of a bad day.

b) A mythical god in the eyes of the Yams. A spirit of perfection who would NEVER wear Maroon. An untouchable Idol.

Yambulance n.
A vehicle to transport the Yam Fan Base to their daily transfusion sessions. Monday to Friday are extraction of Urine days. Saturday and Sunday are laundering of funds days.

ancienthibby
03-04-2007, 01:54 PM
Another Yamism or two:
Yamland - The ancestral home of Yams. Use to be called Tynie, now reregistered as the The Pink Bus Shelter. Last available data suggested there were 400,000 residents of Yamland prompting governmental concerns about health, safety and - understandably - inbreeding. Recent plans have been filed to increase Yamland's national debt to £40 million thereby creating space for a doubling of the population.
VladYam - The president-for-life of the republic of Yamland
VladYamomaniac - A follower of VladYam characterised by blind obedience to, and belief in, VladYam
Yamspeak - The language of Yamland with two recent examples being 'hoofball' to describe what the rest of the world (with the usual exception of the USA) calls football; and 'hacker' being used to describe 11 players put on a pitch wearing the maroon colours of Yamland.
MidYamuania - Used to be known as a country in the Baltic area of Europe but since being taker over by VladYam it has become a phenomenal breeding ground for MidYamuanians. At the last count there were 62,000 MidYamuanians which had emigrated to and were now living in the Pink Bus Shelter.

The Keeper
03-04-2007, 02:11 PM
Yamputation When a group of people have their critical faculties removed at the same time

Speedway
03-04-2007, 02:25 PM
Yamparched (On the wagon, drying out)

A yam's brave but ultimately doomed attempt to stay sober after visiting Tannadice

Yampions League (dreamstate, mono participant)

The league that Vlad actually said they'd win within 5 years, cruelly mispronounced to create false hope and ST sales.

Yamayamayamayamayamachameleon (Sycophant, blind adoration)

Song sung whenever Roman Romanov enters the room at an AGM (Pre shareholder scuffles outside obviously)

lyonhibs
03-04-2007, 03:24 PM
Speedway, you are on form today - I wish I'd had the nous and required genius to start this thread!!!

A couple more that occurred to me when I should have been concentrating on European Economic Integration!!

To Burley (verb: to dare to do well under trying circumstances)
Introduced into common language in memory of George Burley, the great white hope who dared to pick his own team and paid the price - see also mutual consent yam style. Fortunately was replaced with a dream team of Hitzfeld and Ranieri who then led Hearts onto Champions League football and a domestic treble................ oh wait

Yambition: To cling desperately onto a faint hope that you might one day be anything other than the 3rd/4th biggest team in Scotland. Generally raised after a submarine commanding balloon feeds you continual tosh whilst the rest of scottish football pishes itself laughing, except under George Burley (see above) Also, cross-reference with mental borrowing ceilings.

More to follow

Keep this thread going guys!!

CapeCodHibby
03-04-2007, 05:25 PM
Yamden n.

A mythical piece of land that appeared briefly in 2006 but disappeared as quickly as it came. A bit like Atlantis outside of Yamland n. (see above). Ironically however, this piece of land seems to have been sighted for many years on the other side of the city and the "wee" people seem to basking in the sunshine. Just look at the smiles on their faces.

Yamboat n.

This U-Boat designation was given to the Yamarmy n. (see above) as an award to the great VladYam n. (see above) for his service to the Lithuanian cause. It will also be used for the eventual withdrawal of the VladYam followers as the fastest way out of the city. See below.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/32/U-47.jpg/250px-U-47.jpg

Sir David Gray
03-04-2007, 05:49 PM
Big Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 2 trophies in 40 years

Wee Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 3 trophies in 40 years

Hoofball (kick, punt, grab, pull)
A style of football originating from west Edinburgh

:thumbsup:

GreenandGlaikit
03-04-2007, 06:01 PM
Yamrixology: "The practice of employing former convicts in menial and subservient roles."

Yamruditis: "An affliction which gravely affects sufferers balance when engaged in sports activities"

Yamhoofery: "The art of repeatedly kicking a leather object high into the air."

The Keeper
03-04-2007, 06:13 PM
I think therefore I Yam a contradiction; a philosophical non sequitur

peregrine
03-04-2007, 06:50 PM
Fine post. here's a couple:

Yamster: small rodent. lives in captivity for about 18 months with little hope of escape

Yamplitude: unpleasant noise created when deluded followers of HoMFC voice opinions on hoofball, their version of the popular sport more commonly referred to as football, or soccer

Hibby D
03-04-2007, 07:35 PM
YAMUSEMENT

The art of reading the YAMASAURAUS 1st Edition


:thumbsup:

1two
03-04-2007, 08:14 PM
Yamedy - A style of comedy known only to yams(see yams).

Example..

Dear Monkeys

Today I will not be showing your portrait to you. It is pointless. You are one step away from becoming human beings.

Go and carefully have a look at yourself in the mirror. Don't you see a human in it?

Stop fighting for the values which the ex-captain of Hearts was fighting for.

Education and truthful information - that should be your input to humankind.

Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it.

This is unworthy even of a monkey.

Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies.

To discuss whether referees take money or not is the same as discussing a woman who gives herself with no love.

Isn't it better to concentrate on the standard of their work instead of looking for reasons for their poor performance?

A woman cheats herself and nature if she gives herself without love. If a referee officiates a game based on his personal love, he commits a cynical crime, especially when the public has trusted him.

I respect those referees who take money from two stupid teams and then honestly officiates a game. They do not harm football in any way. Though it is bad, still everybody is equal for them. Perhaps that is the reason why football in Italy will never die despite all the scandals that continuously shake it.

I think that is much better than being the champions for 40 years while building up the same system for a further 40 years.

Now it has become obvious to me why you, the Monkeys, were trying to ruin Hearts not only in the Championship, but in European competitions as well. I think it was not without your help that the 'frozen' referee from Russia was selected to officiate our match and that in the games against the Greek side we got three red cards.

It is not without your help that traitors were presented as heroes thus showing the road to children for betrayal.

You will always call teachers silly because unlike you they lead children along the correct path.

Protecting your values in that way just spoils not only football, but also a Scotsman's proud name.

I beg you Mowgli, take the monkeys back to the Safari Park!

MSK
03-04-2007, 08:17 PM
Yamahaha - 0ut burst of laughter at yams defeat ..:greengrin

Yama-lama - religious yam

Yam-ukios -The bank of belief

Yamutt - Yam bird

1two
03-04-2007, 08:19 PM
Yama-sexual - (see Craig Gordon):wink:

Mikey
03-04-2007, 08:25 PM
Yamtastic Jubilant celebrations, participated in very rarely, when the big team hoofs their way to a win.

Yamstruction The art of blocking the movement of any individual whilst appearing to be innocent.

Yamback A meeting place for gullible individuals, all in need of a good scrub.

1two
03-04-2007, 08:31 PM
Yam-Roundup - A gathering of yams (see yams) to discuss all things yamish (see yamish)


Example



Dicksack.co.uk (http://www.jamboskickback.co.uk/index.php)

Domino
03-04-2007, 08:36 PM
Yamschadenfreude

–noun - Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of Yams.

Sir David Gray
03-04-2007, 08:43 PM
Yam-Roundup - A gathering of yams (see yams) to discuss all things yamish (see yamish)


Example



Dicksack.co.uk (http://www.jamboskickback.co.uk/index.php)

Cheers, I had almost forgotten about that pathetic website until I clicked on that link. :boo hoo:

1two
03-04-2007, 08:56 PM
Yamling - A young yam

The Keeper
03-04-2007, 09:14 PM
Yam Superstitious West of Edinburgh spelling of the so called "cursed month" of May when Sir Albert of Kidd did shaft the Yams in the land beyond the Tay

Speedway
03-04-2007, 09:24 PM
Yamakemewanna (Shout) (Toothy, Insipid)

Lulu's unsuccessful remake of her classic hit which got her dropped from her record label

Yamish McAlpine (Stopper, Safehands)

Lesser known brother of Dundee Utd stalwart, spent his entire career at Tannadice as sixth choice everything.

The Legend of Yamalot (Coward Turncoat)

Middle ages leader of many (until he turned round) his motto was 'When the going gets tough', HOOF!!

jonty
03-04-2007, 09:35 PM
Yamicon: a small graphic used to represent something in relation to a yam.

example: :brokenyam:

SvenNeil
03-04-2007, 11:11 PM
'Yamcheque' n. non-existant/bounced payment ie 'I received a Yamcheque'

'Yamology' n. new unfounded idiology similar to Scientology.

'Yamolestation' n. Seedy management technique to attract females.

'Yamustbekiddin' n. realisation of an unseen debt/non acceptance of said debt

'A Yammy' n. pathetic fight involving windmilling and handbags at ten paces.

...seen frequently between Yams followng AGM's.

SvenNeil
03-04-2007, 11:13 PM
Yamling - A young yam

Yamikins - an even younger Yam / term of affection

SvenNeil
03-04-2007, 11:16 PM
Amatueur Yamatics - Term to describe semi-skilled footballers who pretend to be a professional outfit. Known to dive frequently during said performance.

Hibercelona
03-04-2007, 11:42 PM
Yamabolical - a football team in the west side of Edinburgh City who uses devilish schemes to win a game, and is owned by a man who goes by the name of "Vladimir Romanov", who is commonly also known as "the devil"

Speedway
04-04-2007, 07:39 AM
Yamstrad (Nostalgic, Affordable)

The home computer choice of every PBS attendee.

GreenandGlaikit
04-04-2007, 08:19 AM
Yamtax: "A financial penalty incurred through gross Internet stupidity. Frequently levied by sporting authorities like the SFA"

Yamappeal: "A forlorn hope, an absurd plea of mitigation which is normally ignored"

Yamosecond: "A unit of Time, the last possible instant in which a due Bill can be paid without incurring legal proceedings"

borders.cabbage
04-04-2007, 08:39 AM
Yamtax: "A financial penalty incurred through gross Internet stupidity. Frequently levied by sporting authorities like the SFA"

Yamappeal: "A forlorn hope, an absurd plea of mitigation which is normally ignored"

Yamosecond: "A unit of Time, the last possible instant in which a due Bill can be paid without incurring legal proceedings"

:thumbsup:
The best so far.

jacomo
04-04-2007, 08:51 AM
Yamemory: catch-all explanation for things turning out not quite as you thought they would do.

Example: "Eh, wis it no this year we were supposed to be winning the SPL? With a couple of World Cup stars in the team?"

"Nah, that's yamemory that's playing up. If you remember, Vlad didn't promise any world cup stars, and the Intertoto Cup is a prestigious next step in our progress towards world domination."

"Eh, aye. Must be my mind playing tricks on me, an that. I'm off to buy my season ticket."

ancienthibby
04-04-2007, 09:00 AM
Some more Yamisms for consideration!

Yamthropology: The very new academic discipline devoted to the study of Yams, their customs, origins and reasons for being. Social anthropologists are said to be quivering with th excitement at the prospect of learning more about this ancient tribe.
Yamming: The collective sound made by two or three Yams conversing with each others. David Bellamy is said to have likened it to the sound of ten thousand gaggling geese.
Yamfisted: The latest attempt of the Yams to get to grips with modern technology. Yams have discovered that using a Yam forehead (preferably someone else's is very time consuming, but that the use of two fists instead can take twice as long to type twice as much! Yams have also discovered one added benefit on that saving the forehead from this task preserves its use for making fraternal greeting to their revered tribal ancestors, the Glasgow Yamgers.
...to be continued.

Peevemor
04-04-2007, 09:02 AM
Yamaw Mother of a yam. Single parent. Has a face that only a yamaw could love.

Yamuthafugga Paying client of a yamaw.

The Keeper
04-04-2007, 09:21 AM
Yamabolic Steroid Drug outlawed worlwide after mass experiment in west of Edinburgh, Scotland, had devastating effects on population. They came to believe anything

Peevemor
04-04-2007, 09:22 AM
Yamalamadingdong See yammy, Levein/Hogg Starks Park.

Monts
04-04-2007, 09:30 AM
Yambeatable
The unfounded opinion that a team cannot be beaten. Such an opinion may cause involuntary chants and deluded over-confidence. It is usually followed by a pumping from their oldest rivals.

Yam-league
The true, just league table compiled by the honourable owner of a club. It takes into account referee mistakes, player simulation and media opinion. Hearts are currently fighting relegation.

Yamslation
The art in which a translator can relay what has been said in such a way as to make slight mistranslations. This is mainly used as an insurance policy in order for any discrepencies to be dismissed out of hand when questioned.

Yambilical chord
The piece of fibrous tissue which determines the life of a HOMFC follower. It is disfunctional and causes malnutrition to the brain. It is also the cause of facial disfigurement.

matty_f
04-04-2007, 09:36 AM
Yamonstration - the act of in-fighting following official club events or organised supporter's group actions. Usually illustrated with comical scraps or even more comical hat-kicking.

Yamalgamtion - the act of slowly ethnically cleansing the Scottish contingent at a team by slowly integrating Lithuanian journeymen.

Yamaloid - The worst type of Yam, makes yer erchie itchy whenever you are in their presence. Usually can be cured by applying cream such as Yamaloids or Preperation Yam. See www.jamboskickback.co.uk for prime examples.


Yamstand - the mythical stadium easily capable of holding in excess of 3 times the world's population, all of whom are Yams. Only exists in the minds of Yamaloids.


Yamarathon - The distance a striker has to run to get on the end of a Craig Gordon kickout (or hoof). Usually it's about 26 miles.

Yambelievable - The inabiltiy to doubt any information coming from the PBS at any point, and the gullability to think that the world's best managers and players would ever, ever consider getting in bed with that lot.

Yamosexual - has no sexual preferences either way, and due to the fact that they are more often than not Yamaloids, unlikely to ever get their Nat King Cole regardless of how unpicky they may be. Drinks in Robertson's bar.

Peevemor
04-04-2007, 09:38 AM
Yamabolic Asteroid Lump of space rock, to which the yam nation's collective brain is wired.

The Keeper
04-04-2007, 10:12 AM
Yam Beau

Mythical figure, whose non-existence was proved after extensive scientific studies of the facial plook factor in west Edinburgh, Scotland. (See Gordon, Craig: "Wasting Time: My Life In The Shadow of The Plook" 2007. And Colquhoun, John: "Eh but eh eh: Tourettes and Tumshies - a clinical study" 2007.)

matty_f
04-04-2007, 10:14 AM
Yamplosion - the point at which an entire football club realises that it's tea's oot, and spontaneously Yambusts. Usually followed by the rest of country wetting themselves laughing.

Yamatubbie - obese Yamaloids - usually seen with maroon t-shirts and matching pusses, children either find them hilarious or horrific. There is no in-between.

Yamstat - the selection of only statistics which suit, in order to maintain the need for assurance that they are the big team.

Yamstation - games console where the fun games are not released, only games with an end result. No enjoyment can be gained by playing this console, only you do get to tell your mates how much better it is than their xbox/playstation/wiis. Enjoys regular updates of the FIFA series, but has never enjoyed Pro Evo.

Yamhole - the underground cavity where most Yams spend their time until they actually have something to shout about, at which point they all come bounding out to tell all and sundry how big they are.

Nineteen Yameighty-six - the year where 4000,0000,0000,000 Yam dreams were shattered by Sir Albert of Kidd.

Yamferiority Complex - the reason Kickback exists. Sufferers believe that if they say something enough it will come true.

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 10:26 AM
Yamanager - a mythical post at Tincastle, filled by a puppet of Romanov's choosing. Credentials for the esteemed post include - absolutely no football knowledge, a willingness to pick up the soap, an a striking resemblence to a sex pest/vampire. A amazing willingness to "mutually consent" to termination of contract and then sign a gagging order are also a must

Yamoney - a strange currency, which constantly undergoes un-ratified devaluations to keep Yams - who inexplicably choose to trade in it - happy that 28 million units of Yamoney of debt is somehow sustainable.

Yamutiny - a event unlikely to ever occur, lest the Yams look between their legs and find a pair of bollocks. Closest you will ever to see to a yamutiny is some drunken squabbling at a sham AGM, a few "Pressley is a legend" flags - rapidly edited to "Pressley is past it" - and the occasional mass twirly, which everyone else thinks is hilariously gay, but no-one has the heart to tell the Yams this. For a point of contrast see "Hands off Hibs" campaign and Wallace Mercer FTB R.I.P

Yam season ticket - a dying breed of ticket, once numerous down Tincastle way, usually in the hands of a blethering idiot trying to convince anyone that would listen about this magical "next level" they were all on the express jet too. Mysteriously, since the implosion of the Romanov regime (choose your date) these have become a rare beast indeed. Projections for their survival rate are grim, with estimates varying between 34 and 4,000 for next season. See also: that fat twat with the Romanov tattoo accross his back.

matty_f
04-04-2007, 10:35 AM
Yam-packed - the act of selling out, where selling out means selling your allocation of tickets, rather than chasing a morally-dubious pound. Tynecastle has been Yam-packed for ever. Note that Yam-packed does not, ever, reflect actual ticket sales or attendance. For instance, Easter Road's away end was Yam packed for (I believe it's now gone up to) 2 hours after the game on Sunday.

Yamazed - the show of disbelief when something else that initially looked brilliant turns out to be completely turd.

Speedway
04-04-2007, 10:41 AM
Aaahh Mr. Fairnie, we've been expecting you :greengrin

Yamazulu (Flash in the pan, Signing Policy)

Unpopular band responsible for the little known pop ditties 'Moonlight Romanov' and 'Unexcitable'

Yampon (Without Wings)

Nickname given to traditional matchday strategy of going straight up the middle, never wide.

Yamway (Con, Duped)

MLM scheme available to ST holders at the PBS only. Everyone is part of the downline.

Yambivalent (Recovering, Coming to terms)

A born and bred Yam now staying away from the PBS and questioning their upbringing.

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 10:56 AM
Yambo - mutation of the word Jambo - used to describe supporters/believers of/in Heart of Midlothian Football Club/the religion of Vlad (delete as appropriate) A once proud club, that could trace its roots back to 19th century Edinburgh, a Yambo now finds himself supporting a institution that is used as a debt dumping ground by the ever-optimistic Vlad, who somehow thinks that the financial capital of Europe is going to take kindly to the installation of his mickey mouse Lithuanian bank and Accounting standards that would make ENRON blush. Yambo are divided into 2 breeds. Firstly "fuddusmaximus" who make up the overwhelmingly majority of Hearts fans. They haven't seen a naked man/women (delete as appropriate except in the case of Craig Gordon) since late April 1986 (after which point their world collapsed whilst their trophyless streak of 35 years continued). Secondly "ODJ - ordinary decent Jambo" - a dying breed, who extracted their head from Romanov's rectum just in time, and occasionaly have worthwhile opinions on footballing matters. As such they lurk like a eggy fart around Hibs.net, as sickback.co.uk is constantly broken through mass hat-kicking protests.

Speedway
04-04-2007, 11:01 AM
Yambo - mutation of the word Jambo - used to describe supporters/believers of/in Heart of Midlothian Football Club/the religion of Vlad (delete as appropriate) A once proud club, that could trace its roots back to 19th century Edinburgh, a Yambo now finds himself supporting a institution that is used as a debt dumping ground by the ever-optimistic Vlad, who somehow thinks that the financial capital of Europe is going to take kindly to the installation of his mickey mouse Lithuanian bank and Accounting standards that would make ENRON blush. Yambo are divided into 2 breeds. Firstly "fuddusmaximus" who make up the overwhelmingly majority of Hearts fans. They haven't seen a naked man/women (delete as appropriate except in the case of Craig Gordon) since late April 1986 (after which point their world collapsed whilst their trophyless streak of 35 years continued). Secondly "ODJ - ordinary decent Jambo" - a dying breed, who extracted their head from Romanov's rectum just in time, and occasionaly have worthwhile opinions on footballing matters. As such they lurk like a eggy fart around Hibs.net, as sickback.co.uk is constantly broken through mass hat-kicking protests.


Aaaahh Fuddusmaximus, the original Yam.

ancienthibby
04-04-2007, 11:06 AM
Even more Yamisms!

Yamaritians: An Edinburgh charity founded by supporters of '
the 'wee team' to help prevent potential suicide attempts by Yams over the action of their President-for-Life YamVlad Romanov. To date 400,000 calls have been received and 400,000 successes recorded.

Yam-baiting: All things relating to the 'wee team', including board, manager, players and supporters, but, most especially, any newspaper articles published about the 'wee team' in the Scotsman or Evening News. Without Yambaiting, the Yams would not exist.

Yam-foolery: The continuing and unchallengeable ability of a megalomaniacal leader to fool all of the Yams all of the time.

Yamjiggery: The financial position of the Yams;

Yampokery: The never-ending enjoyment supporters of all other clubs get in poking fun every day at the Yams.

There's just no end to this!!

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 11:17 AM
Potential for one of the best threads ever:

Yamugby: Unique take on Rugby Union, currently being cultivated down at Tincastle. Although use of the hands by outfield players is forbidden (most of the time) rumour has it that followers of other FOOTBALL clubs have petitioned the Rugby Commentators Union to re-name a "Gary Owen" - a a punt that goes 3 metres up for every 1 metre along and is aimed in the general direction of a bunch of talentless cloggers - as a "Craig Gordon" in recognition to the SPL's only Lesbian efforts to knock sateillites out of orbit. Potential clash with Vlad's plan to export the hearts brand accross the world (Yammish for "To Lithuania") has lead many to believe the Craig Gordon is angling for a move to a proper football club.

The Keeper
04-04-2007, 11:42 AM
Yammish, The

A people featured in the film "Witness". Oddly dressed, living in the past,
and given to strange rituals like scarf twirling and the singing of homophobic songs.

Sprouleflyer
04-04-2007, 11:55 AM
Yambarium

A substance to help remove the head of a Hearts supporter which has been stuck in a place where the sun don't shine

Wakeyhibee
04-04-2007, 11:55 AM
YAMIFY to make oneself imune to the truth and see everything through rose tinted glasses. Gross misjustification of lies and half truths.....'to Yamify the truth'

'Yamblers' Geek walking group for Jambo's. Also used for homeless and/or aimless Jambo's

Yambletons Villiage idiots

JCM
04-04-2007, 11:58 AM
Yamiversity Were all potential Yams go to learn about economics and management. On a wednesday afternoon they learn to play hoofball. Entry requirements are the complete opposite of all other universities. ie only the most stupid and gullible will get in. At present the waiting list to get in is oversubscribed, however I do believe that a new 26000 and possibily 40000 yamiversity will be built in the near future.

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 12:02 PM
Yamanalysis - the art of selectivly choosing official facts and figures - such as amount of time ball spent above 3,000 feet - to justify your team's brand of football. Ignoring more classical statistics, such as possesion, fouls conceded and shots on targets is integral to yamalysis, as these reveal the truth that Yamanalysis avoids - that you play a bone-grinding brand of hoofball and are the bitches of a morally devoid Lithuanina Submarine Commander. Yamanalysis has a wide range of uses, and for this it should be applauded - particularly Yamnomics and continous " Sell outs" at Tincastle

hibbymac
04-04-2007, 12:12 PM
Yamburyheid - one who incessantly believes, whilst hiding their cranium in the sand. e.g. - :ostrich:

borders.cabbage
04-04-2007, 12:17 PM
Yamineurope (farce, emptied)
Phrase used to describe a very short and unhappy trip to the continent.
Can sometimes involve earrings and crossbars.
( see also Yampions league )

The Keeper
04-04-2007, 12:29 PM
Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

jacomo
04-04-2007, 12:39 PM
Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

:faf: sublime!

Cincinnatus
04-04-2007, 12:45 PM
Yamaha The cry of the motorcyclist when the wheels come off suddenly and fatally

:faf: :partyhibb it's a stoatir

Ryan91
04-04-2007, 12:51 PM
Not sure if this has already been posted;

Yamish - A term used to describe something that has been done by a yam that seems slightly inappropriate. Closely linked to the word Childish.

MyJo
04-04-2007, 01:23 PM
Yamma dabba doo catchphrase made popular by the famous caveman character Steven Pressley.

jgl07
04-04-2007, 02:13 PM
Wee Team: Team who wins Wee Cups (see below) and competes in the Intertoto (a) (Interdiddy Cup) (see below).

Big Team: Team who wins Big Cups (see below) and competes in the Intertoto Cup (b) (see below).

Wee Cup: Any trophy won by Wee Team (see above). This is regardless of the opposition even if it proved to be a six-goal football feast between two SPL top-six sides that was still in doubt until five minutes from time. (Note 1)

Big Cup: Any trophy won by Big Team (see above) even if it was won on penalties after a scappy 1-1 draw against a Second Division team fresh out of the Unibond League. (Note 2)

Intertoto Cup (a): Competition entered by Wee Team to provide a back door rout in the UEFA Cup (see below). Also known as Interdiddy Cup.

Intertoto Cup (b): Competition entered by Big Team to ensure there passage to the UEFA Cup Final.

Interdiddy Cup: See Intertoto Cup (a).

UEFA Cup (a): Competition entered by Big Team after they fail to Qualify for Champions' League (see below).

UEFA Cup (b): Competition entered by Wee Team from time to time.

Champions' League: Competition that Big Team have entered once but that they will win within the next three years.

Forth Bridge (a): Preferred suicide point for supporters of Big Team when the chickens come home to roost.

Forth Bridge (b): Bridge that the supporters of the Big Team will cross for their 'home' matches when they groundshare with Dunfermline, Raith Rovers, East Fife and Cowdenbeath in the future.


Notes:

1. In the (unlikely) event of the Wee Cup being won by the Big Team, it will temporarily become a Big Cup.

2. In the event that the Wee Team wins the Big Cup, then half the supporters of the Big Team will thrown themselves off the Forth Bridge (see above).

ancienthibby
04-04-2007, 02:18 PM
More Yamisms!

Yamtastic: The infrequent thought process of your standard Yam. Nothing can ever be ordinary in Yamland. Everything is measured is excess and fantasy.

Yampot: The standard Yam accessory - what a Yam would never be seen without! Where humans used to wear a watch or now a mobile phone as an accessory, in Yamland this is now a Yampot as Yams never receive toilet training as youngsters!.

Y.A.M. This stands for Yet Another Manager which is generally speaking an event which happens most months in Yamland.

Winged Yam: This is the airborne version of the ordinary Yam and is generally seen floating above the PBS with a 'hoofball' attached to it!

Yam: Just for the record (true!) in Latvia and Finland, Yams are known as Jamss!!

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 02:30 PM
Yamport - a passport that has fallen - by fair or by foul - into the grubby hands of a yam. Usually bears a striking ressembelence to a Lithuanian seaman's papers. The production of these went into overdrive, in anticipation of the decades of continous European success that King YamVlad promised them, but - after getting humped 7 ways from Sunday by all half decent teams they played - are now more commonly used as burning fuel to ensure that the Lithuanian "player - harvesting" facilities (see: World Cup signings) can continue to operate at full capacity, and fulfill King YamVlad's stated aim to fully import MidYamthania onto the Gorgie playing field.

hibbymac
04-04-2007, 02:31 PM
....
Yampot: The standard Yam accessory - what a Yam would never be seen without! Where humans used to wear a watch or now a mobile phone as an accessory, in Yamland this is now a Yampot as Yams never receive toilet training as youngsters!.

......


:hmmm: this would also strengthen their arguement when people come out with statements like..." the Yams havnae got a pot to p!ss in"....... aye, it makes sense now. :agree:

lyonhibs
04-04-2007, 02:36 PM
Official Confirmation and affirmation of the need for a more conclusive Yamasauras
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/yammering

Hibbie0762
04-04-2007, 04:17 PM
Yam'ble, v: to recover the ball at a very leisurely pace with the aim of wasting playing time.

Yam'jaxed, adj: the state of having inexplicably fallen over in the goalmouth after minimal contact with the aim of having an opponent sent off. Also to yam'jax, v: to make minimal contact with a much larger opponent who then inexplicably collapses as if seriously assaulted.

matty_f
04-04-2007, 04:41 PM
Yamlogic - to rationalise every day events by making them conform to Yammish beliefs. Eg. Attacking player held in the box by fouling defender - no foul, as the attacker probably does it in his box anyway.

Other examples include changing opinions on anything at a moment's notice. This can include topics such as - how things are going, how good the owner is, whether the spiritual home has been outgrown, whether to kick-hats or not or whether any European competition is good enough to enter.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaam - the wailling noise emmited by Yams as their team crashed out of the Champions League Qualifiers, thus denying them a tilt at the real thing - with the music and that, and then the UEFA Cup, which they were probably too good for anyway. Was also heard around the time of departure of the following people - Burley, Pressley and Hartley, and can often be heard just before 3pm when Vlad's latest teamsheet is announced.

peregrine
04-04-2007, 08:13 PM
Yammer: involuntary hesitation in speech that afflicts the yam when he finds out what Vlad has just done

Yam mail: unsolicited propaganda expousing fantastical notions of yam superiority. Generally foisted on the general public for annoyance value only, although west of Edinburgh residents are particularly gullible and are frequently duped

s.a.m
04-04-2007, 08:59 PM
Yam.Pet - small,hand-held, electronic game for one player
who micromanages football club from Far Off Country.

Yamdroid - electronically altered humanoid who takes instruction from
distant remote controller

Yamisery - emotional state of fear and grief, compounded by knowledge
that one is, in part, responsible for situation causing said grief.

Yammuppet - insult

Yamethics - reversal of the normal conventions of business ethics.
Damaging rather than benevolent interventions are seen as
the norm.

Yameltdown - The Endgame. Played slowly, for the appreciation of (rival) onlookers.

Yamtheology - a religious doctrine to rival the three great religions (if only in the devotion of followers). Believers worship and sing to The Vlad. See also: Yamnostic, and Yamatheist>

N.B. I have spent at least twenty minutes of my (very precious) time registering, composing, and posting the above. Is there a convenient scapegoat I could blame for this outrageous waste of time and effort????

SvenNeil
04-04-2007, 09:35 PM
Yamma-gettin-outa-here! Term known to uttered when Yam team is falling to a heavy defeat. First heard 1/1/73.

also goes with Yamsent to describe those Yams who (not infrequently) choose to stay at home. :greengrin

Speedway
04-04-2007, 09:39 PM
The Yam (Poorly Recieved)

Unsuccessful tribute group to the great Weller fronted mod rockers. Amongst their repetoire were 'That's (not) Entertainment', 'A Tactic Called Malice' and 'Going Underground (In a Submarine). Now rumoured to be working on a comeback single '(Wish I Could Be Like) David Grof'

Yam Ademedoit (blame, chav)

Oft repeated phrase heard in courts of law uttered by first accused Yam to second accused Yam in condeming tones. See also: Lee Wallace

Yammityville Horror (Recurring, Unsettling)

Phrase used to describe individual period on 90 minutes. Sold by the club in batches of 18-21 every year under the guise 'Season Ticket'. See Also: Steve Fulton

MyJo
04-04-2007, 11:04 PM
Yam.Pet - small,hand-held, electronic game for one player
who micromanages football club from Far Off Country.

Yamdroid - electronically altered humanoid who takes instruction from
distant remote controller (current example: Steven Frail;Paul
Hartley - DEFECTIVE; Steven Pressley - DEFECTIVE; Craig
Gordon - DEFECTIVE)

Yamisery - emotional state of fear and grief, compounded by knowledge
that one is, in part, responsible for situation causing said grief.

Yammuppet - insult

Yamethics - reversal of the normal conventions of business ethics.
Damaging rather than benevolent interventions are seen as
the norm.
Yameltdown - The Endgame. Played slowly, for the appreciation of (rival)
onlookers.
Yamtheology - a religious doctrine to rival the three great religions (sorry
Dodd and Tariq E, if sensitivities have been (with the
greatest and hugest and most heartfelt respect)(And I
Mean That)) offended. See also: Yamnostic, and
Yamatheist>

N.B. I have spent at least twenty minutes of my (very precious) time registering, composing, and posting the above. Is there a convenient scapegoat I could blame for this outrageous waste of time and effort????

you've been here twenty minutes and you dont know who is to blame yet?......boy you've got a lot to learn :greengrin

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 07:10 AM
The Yam (Poorly Recieved)

Unsuccessful tribute group to the great Weller fronted mod rockers. Amongst their repetoire were 'That's (not) Entertainment', 'A Tactic Called Malice' and 'Going Underground (In a Submarine). Now rumoured to be working on a comeback single '(Wish I Could Be Like) David Grof'

Yam Ademedoit (blame, chav)

Oft repeated phrase heard in courts of law uttered by first accused Yam to second accused Yam in condeming tones. See also: Lee Wallace

Yammityville Horror (Recurring, Unsettling)

Phrase used to describe individual period on 90 minutes. Sold by the club in batches of 18-21 every year under the guise 'Season Ticket'. See Also: Steve Fulton


:greengrin :greengrin :greengrin

Hibbie0762
05-04-2007, 09:22 AM
This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

glow1875
05-04-2007, 09:43 AM
YamYum (Confectionary)

A type of bun bought in Greggs. Found only in shops in Gorgie, where rumours of signing Gudjohnsen and Tevez abound.


Yammy Mammy (Mythical)

A Hearts supporting mother who's still looking good despite the toil of looking after the kids... aye right.

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 09:47 AM
Yam Tomorrow Some pleasant event in the future, which is never likely to materialize.

Origin

This derives from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There (1871), in which the White Queen offers Alice 'yam to-morrow':

'I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!' the Queen said. 'Twopence a week, and yam every other day.'

Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, 'I don't want you to hire ME - and I don't care for yam.'

'It's very good yam,' said the Queen.

'Well, I don't want any TO-DAY, at any rate.'

'You couldn't have it if you DID want it,' the Queen said. 'The rule is, yam to-morrow and yam yesterday - but never yam to-day.'

'It MUST come sometimes to "yam to-day,"' Alice objected.

'No, it can't,' said the Queen. 'It's yam every OTHER day: to-day isn't any OTHER day, you know.'

'I don't understand you,' said Alice. 'It's dreadfully confusing!'

The phrase caught on quickly and yam tomorrow became a synonym for a 'pie in the sky' promise of good things in the future.

And it holds to this day down Gorgie way.

hibbymac
05-04-2007, 09:48 AM
This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

Can't see any reason why someone would object. Nothing wrong with spreading the word amongst others, especially if they're not on T'internet. :thumbsup:

jacomo
05-04-2007, 10:08 AM
This is a brilliant thread - so brilliant in fact that with your consent I would like to adapt some of your posts as the basis of an article for the next edition of Mass Hibsteria. If contributors (and the Admins) are content to let me do that, the article will of course make full acknowledgement both of the co-operation of Hibs. Net and of all the posters whose Yamisms are quoted.

Happy to discuss any objections or answer questions - either here, or PM me. Thanks in advance. I am one of the regular contributors to MHHM, by the way.

Personally, Yamaha is still no.1... utter genius the keeper :not worth

(am liking your Through the Looking Glass riff too!)

Could this become a collectable, to go alongside the Goals and Glory publication?

jacomo
05-04-2007, 10:11 AM
Yammer: involuntary hesitation in speech that afflicts the yam when he finds out what Vlad has just done

Yam mail: unsolicited propaganda expousing fantastical notions of yam superiority. Generally foisted on the general public for annoyance value only, although west of Edinburgh residents are particularly gullible and are frequently duped

:thumbsup:

jacomo
05-04-2007, 10:20 AM
shYambolic -

Activity or process that Yam believers can rationalise and make sense of, but to everyone else appears utterly disorganised, insane and without reason.

exp: size and wage policy of current Hearts squad

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 11:33 AM
Yamin, Idi African dictator who ruled by brutality and fear, employing people he crushed and destroying all those who challenged him. Self styled King of Scotland. Sold his country to Cala for housing development and ran away.



thanks jacomoseven:greengrin

borders.cabbage
05-04-2007, 11:48 AM
Yample (plenty) We have yample Lithuanians in our squad.

Yamnesia ( to forget, to revise ) A case of selective memory.Example :I never said the Intertoto was pointless ! Yes you did, you must have yamnesia.

Ryan91
05-04-2007, 12:35 PM
Yambeau Field

The new name for the proposed new Hearts stadium. Very similar to Lambeau Field (home to the NFL's Green Bay Packers) except Lambeau field was built and was not a crazy idea by some mad lithuanian banker.

lyonhibs
05-04-2007, 12:58 PM
Hibbee 0672, I can't see anyone having any problems with that (as long as my finer efforts get included - could be my launchpad to stardom :thumbsup: ) I'm sending the link to this post to tons of friends (not all Jambos :devil: ) and they are all finding it ****ing hilarious!!!

Yamustbekiddin - utilised in many situationS these days by the unfortunate inhabitants of Tincastle, most recently when the 4th Dundee (bottom 6) United goal zipped past their lesbian goalkeeper, or when King YamVlad's decision to raise the debt to 40 million (see yamoney) was passed - without question - by the hearts board of Directors, a board that conveniently comprises KingYamVlad's son, niece and close family friend.

Yam****ed - the defining phrase uttered after a slow process of acceptance by a tiny percentage of Vladsheep, that about 5% of Vlad promises have actually been carried out (see Top class manager, new stadium, Champions League football, core of scottish players etc etc etc),that maybe "that fat *******" Chris Robinson wasn't so bad after all and that, in general, their entire club is run like a banana republic from top to bottom, except there are no peacekeepers on the horizon. See also Yamvisionism, Yambition and Scottish Cup 2006.

Yam sorry darling - said by grovelling Yam husbands who find their balls in a vice with the Yamissus in control, after credit card statements reveal yet more useless expenditure on increasingly tasteless official Yam tat. See also Yam season ticket, "Best pub team in Edinburgh" T-shirt and that fat twat with the Romanov tattoo on his back.

EuanH78
05-04-2007, 01:04 PM
yamadan a quasi religious festival inspired by the islamic ramadan where the believers go without football for a whole year, instead opting for hoofball.ongoing since 1874.

matty_f
05-04-2007, 01:09 PM
The Yamazon. Sh!!t creek that runs through Gorgie.

Yamonella - What happens to poultry products when it comes into contact with Yams.

Yamfection - when someone momentarily catches Yam - symptoms include arrogance, obnoxiousness, lack of grace, dignity and a complete disregard for the finer things in life. Most common cure for Yamfections is to watch virtually any other football team in existence.

Miss Yam 2007 - Title held by the prettiest of Yam ladies. Has been won on 17 consecutive occassions by Stevie Fulton.

GreenandGlaikit
05-04-2007, 01:21 PM
Think the recently discovered cultural discipline Yamthropology surely deserves further sub-entries eg:-

Yamushanka: "A form of street football where morbidly obese participants violently kick innocent furry Russian hats. The motivation and objective of this seemingly pointless exercise remains unclear."

Yamopagger: "An annually televised homo-erotic ritual ,where maroon-clad 'Fairy-Fighters' effetely strut in mock-attack positions loudly indicating they will 'scratch each others eyes oot' .This short ceremony is normally ended by a Police Shaman figure threatening to confiscate their hand-bags "

Yamtwirlie: " A mass ritual in which blood-coloured objects are twirled by vigorous wrist movements. It is thought this might be a vain attempt by Gorgie primitives to achieve man-powered flight to be closer to the celestial Sun-God, Leith.

The entranced - and possibly drugged - Yamtwirlees seem totally oblivious to the ribald derision their actions produce in observers from other tribes."

Mon1875
05-04-2007, 01:27 PM
Yambacktrack From Jan 2006 our very own Dexter said "http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/...867786,00.html

Oh boy....sounds like in VI speak, the deals are almost done.

World Cup EUROPEAN players........"

and God Bless him Beslija The Bullet said

""They are coming on Monday but it is not yet 100%"

No way would he mention this unless it was virtually certain they are coming!

Happy days indeed!"

to the inevitable

"no one ever said we would sign World Cup players"

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 01:30 PM
Yam Pastie Found daily in Greggs. Obese, pale skinned youth in search of cholestorol.

Speedway
05-04-2007, 01:31 PM
Yamammama (Publicity Stunt, Transparent)

The name given to the single most mis-concieved publicity stunt of all time. In order to win public support and correctly sensing that envious eyes were being cast by the gorgie minnions eastward towards the flair on offer in Leith, Roman Romanov decided to take action.

Hoping that with such a huge squad and revolving door, no-one would remember Eduard Jankauskas, the player was sent to 'Heartburn' the well known Gorgie tanning salon for a week's intensive course and was then made to dye his hair jet black.

Roman then called a hastily arranged press conference to announce that HOMOFC would not be outdone by their mecca facing rivals across town and that Hearts had signed their own symbol of exciting attacking football, Merouane Yammamma.

Howls of derision came from the floor as in walked the clearly uncomfortable Jankauskas disguised about as convincingly as Barnie Gumble was when he went on stage at Kamp Krusty and pretended to indeed be, Krusty the Clown.

Uproar broke out among the hearts supporters at this sham as Roman beat a hasty retreat. A fight broke out between two hearts fans with over 0.0071% of the punches thrown actually connecting with the intended recipient.

It was agreed that never again would any attempt by made to associate the name of HOMOfc with excitement, flair or panache.


YamYam (misheard, double-take)

Phrase taught to children born and braised in Gorgie to replace the more recognised yumyum when enjoying food. See also: A Hibbie with double vision directing abuse towards the old Dunbar end.

Yamedievel (Progress, Advanced)

The level of intelligence, wisdom or education at which a Yam uses to reason and behave with.

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 01:41 PM
Yam On The Bone Romanov phoning World Cup players to bring them to Gorgie. Oh yes.

Boiled Yam Unfortunate facial colouring of John "eh eh but eh" Colquhoun.

Roast Yam What happens to lying Yams when they decease and descend to Hell.

lyonhibs
05-04-2007, 01:42 PM
Yamammama (Publicity Stunt, Transparent)

The name given to the single most mis-concieved publicity stunt of all time. In order to win public support and correctly sensing that envious eyes were being cast by the gorgie minnions eastward towards the flair on offer in Leith, Roman Romanov decided to take action.

Hoping that with such a huge squad and revolving door, no-one would remember Eduard Jankauskas, the player was sent to 'Heartburn' the well known Gorgie tanning salon for a week's intensive course and was then made to dye his hair jet black.

Roman then called a hastily arranged press conference to announce that HOMOFC would not be outdone by their mecca facing rivals across town and that Hearts had signed their own symbol of exciting attacking football, Merouane Yammamma.

Howls of derision came from the floor as in walked the clearly uncomfortable Jankauskas disguised about as convincingly as Barnie Gumble was when he went on stage at Kamp Krusty and pretended to indeed be, Krusty the Clown.

Uproar broke out among the hearts supporters at this sham as Roman beat a hasty retreat. A fight broke out between two hearts fans with over 0.0071% of the punches thrown actually connecting with the intended recipient.

It was agreed that never again would any attempt by made to associate the name of HOMOfc with excitement, flair or panache.

:thumbsup:
I wish you'd stop posting this calibre of stuff Speedway - it's most distracting!!!!

Yamputer - device - loosely based on a computer - used to forecast season ticket sales, fan base, debt projections and legitimate timescales for paying back bills. Using the latest Lithuanian software, the Yamputer guarentees to bamboozle thick skulled yams into parting with gross sums of cash, wandering around workplaces bragging about ficticious future events and generally making grade A tits of themselves. Also keeps the invoices departement of Edinburgh City Council (and especially their red ink suppliers) busy be refusing to pay (or even accept the existence of) various legitimate bills until the last possible second, by which time, everyone else in Scottish Football has already concluded that you'll be out of business by 2010.

Speedway
05-04-2007, 02:12 PM
Brian Yamilton (Good Engine, Invisible)

Officially recognised by FIFA as the worst footballer of all time.

Yamilton Academicals (losers, defunct)

Name already chosen for the 'phoenix' team that will rise from the Cala Homes rubble. So called because their Yams and their existence is academic.

Yam and Cheese Sandwich (Soap Retrieval, Elton John)

Nickname given to game played by ex-hearts midfielder in the Tynie showers. Exact details are not fit to print.

The Keeper
05-04-2007, 02:24 PM
Yam and Eggs Another Tynie shower game, unspeakable warped variation of Yam and Cheese Sandwich. Again, exact details not fit to print but the words "hard boiled" and "spread" do feature.

chorley_fm
05-04-2007, 06:24 PM
Yampon (Without Wings)

Nickname given to traditional matchday strategy of going straight up the middle, never wide.




Thats got to be the funniest thing I've every read on this message board......:thumbsup:

ancienthibby
05-04-2007, 09:31 PM
Even more Yamisms!

Yambolic: The selection policy employed by intermittent Yam managers (see Yet Another Manager) with respect to the range of any eleven 'hoofball hackers' who could be dressed in maroon on any weekend at Yamland or other travel destinations for the residents of the PBS.

Yamconomics: The post-modern theory of old economics developed by L Ron Yamranov which is reputedly first choice for this year's Yambel Prize. Readers should understand that Yamconomics is a further sub-category of the already widely acclaimed Yamjiggery theory of financial management devised by a certain L Ron Yamranov.

Yamkios Bankios: The world's most mystical and even mystifying banking organisation whose latest marketing catchphrase is - 'who said that was a loan' This banks takes on all loans without exception and MAKES THEM DISAPPEAR. It has developed a speciality in loans made by other banks to football clubs in the UK and is now overwhelmed by worldwide applications.

Perhaps more Yamisms later!

Toaods
05-04-2007, 09:43 PM
Yamabolic Steroid :

a tablet given to Ukio Bankas staff (soccer division) to enhance their industry on the field of play

:greengrin

Toaods
05-04-2007, 09:52 PM
Yamnesty:

a meeting between the HMFC club officials and the 3 most valuable non-Lithuanian members of staff.

Toaods
05-04-2007, 09:56 PM
Yambidextrous:

the ability for the right hand not to know what the left hand is doing

:tee hee:

sauzeesteeth
05-04-2007, 09:57 PM
Kick out the Yams, Brothers and Sisters - MC5 track featured strongly on David Taylor's playlists :agree:

Toaods
05-04-2007, 09:57 PM
YAMbition:

to proclaim one's club as contenders for the Champion's league title within 2 years.



:greengrin

Toaods
05-04-2007, 09:59 PM
A YAMbush:

a triumvirate of central defenders eager to bodycheck Rob Jones when defending any free kicks.

Toaods
05-04-2007, 10:04 PM
A wooly YAMmoth:

A large, scary creature. Very hairy and become more extinct in the Gorgie region.

ancienthibby
05-04-2007, 10:06 PM
A YAMbush:

a triumvirate of central defenders eager to bodycheck Rob Jones when defending any free kicks.
Some right classics there, Toaods!!
Genius rules!!

Toaods
05-04-2007, 10:07 PM
A YAMstring:

a strain known to keep many a first team player out of sight for endless months.

Toaods
05-04-2007, 10:09 PM
The Pied Piper of YAMlin:

A mysterious character who arrived unannounced, demanded everyone's money and when his claims were rejected, left town taking all the foolish believers with him.

:bye:

ancienthibby
05-04-2007, 10:14 PM
The Pied Piper of YAMlin:

A mysterious character who arrived unannounced, demanded everyone's money and when his claims were rejected, left town taking all the foolish believers with him.

:bye:

YOU're cookin' tonight!

Toaods
05-04-2007, 10:30 PM
YAMoeba :

a single cell(brain) organism that constantly changes shape, usually found drifting aimlessly in the Baltic Sea

Toaods
05-04-2007, 10:31 PM
YOU're cookin' tonight!

think I'm running out now........:boo hoo:

lyonhibs
06-04-2007, 12:56 PM
Dear dear this threas appears to have lost its impetus - imagine any posters that only look at page one and as such miss out on this piece of Shakespearian literature!!!!

Yamalogy - figure of speech, frequently used by Yams to avoid using nasty, reality based words that would force them to face up to the actions of the Uber-Yam. Such as "that Pinalla is as clinical as Boris Becker in a linen cupboard" or "Beslija will hurt teams as much as my current infestation of the clap hurts my bellend"

Yamal - average Yams preferred sexual position - replicates the experience of letting a Mad Lithuanian buy all your shares and then subtly (or at least subtly by your standards of intellingence) shaft you all the way to Prague and back. Forms a integral part of a Yam and Cheese sandwich.

GreenandGlaikit
06-04-2007, 02:15 PM
Yamascus: "A reverse Epiphany in which staunch believers suddenly realise their Messiah is false, and financially, has been a 'very naughty boy ' "

peregrine
06-04-2007, 04:49 PM
Yamdrogynous: see Craig Gordon

matty_f
06-04-2007, 06:27 PM
Yamadolesence - the ability to reach old age without ever having your balls drop. Will still be childish in any argument right up to the day you die.

Yamasculinity - the anti-masculinity. The act of acting tough, but falling down and rolling about for nearly an hour at the slightest hint of contact during a football match.

Yamour - like humour, but without the funny bits.

Yamaloid (2) - When a hemaroid gets a Yam.

Yamnesia - The memory blank that a Yam gets following one result, where they actually forget that they were pants in the match that they just won, and allows them to approach the next match with supreme confidence that everything is hunky-dorey.

Yammorak - the boring sod in any pub/workplace who can reel off countless Yamfacts which are devoid of interest to any non-Yamaloid. Is selective in stat-picking, and often twists them to suit.

Toaods
06-04-2007, 06:37 PM
YAMerica - a new undiscovered land where good fortune is expected and everything turns out good.

Speedway
06-04-2007, 06:40 PM
Yamadolesence - the ability to reach old age without ever having your balls drop. Will still be childish in any argument right up to the day you die.

Yamasculinity - the anti-masculinity. The act of acting tough, but falling down and rolling about for nearly an hour at the slightest hint of contact during a football match.

Yamour - like humour, but without the funny bits.

Yamaloid (2) - When a hemaroid gets a Yam.

Yamnesia - The memory blank that a Yam gets following one result, where they actually forget that they were pants in the match that they just won, and allows them to approach the next match with supreme confidence that everything is hunky-dorey.

Yammorak - the boring sod in any pub/workplace who can reel off countless Yamfacts which are devoid of interest to any non-Yamaloid. Is selective in stat-picking, and often twists them to suit.

Brilliant :thumbsup:

peregrine
06-04-2007, 07:06 PM
Super-yam: lycra-clad super-hero, sent to earth to save HomoFC from extinction. Fictional character, extists only in the imagination of small boys

AJHibby
06-04-2007, 07:35 PM
Yamist

Informally known as a "Gretna FC supporter", this is a person who is desperate to become a yam by singing their songs and supporting a pretend team. The only reason they are not yams is because they have slightly realistic ambitions.

heretoday
06-04-2007, 07:57 PM
Yam Bam Thank you Mam - Polite remark after a short encounter with a lady of the maroon persuasion, or "Yam Tart".

Yam Tomorrow - oft made promise by a strange East European gentleman.

Toaods
06-04-2007, 09:43 PM
Yam-'ball'aya

a mix of many different varieties.

Speedway
09-04-2007, 04:37 PM
Uncle Yam (Vlad Don't Need You)

Gary MacKay's much appreciated attempt to give Hibbies everywhere more mocking (y)ammunition to aim at their yambo acquaintences by posing in a village people cap and trying to emulate the iconic war posters of World War II

Yammunition (Candy, Baby)

See above.

Trans-Yam (Jalopy, Rustbucket)

Car driven by your (below) average Yam. The driving of which leads to thoughts of alternative lifestyles as a soultion and escape for the immovable nagging sense of dread in the back of their heads.

Yosemite Yam (Bufoon, Trumpet)

Witless adversary of always one step ahead Bugs Hibby.

The Yamerican Dream (bubble, burst)

Ideology sold to the yams time after time and replaced by an altogether browner smelling, lithuanian orginiating, alternative.

EuanH78
10-04-2007, 12:13 AM
Yamñana tomorrow or in the future, as spoken by Mr V. Romanov with regards to the new stadium developments " It'll happen Yamñana "

EuanH78
10-04-2007, 12:31 AM
Yamel A humanoid with a hump like a camel. A hearts supporting hunchback.

leithman
10-04-2007, 12:45 AM
Yamackay an early flight bird who in typical yamness will not and cannot change its mind and vere from the chosen strategy, even if it means missing out on the greatest moment in yam history.

Yamanager extinct (last seen c.2006)

Yamuppet ideal leader of yams where heart soul and mind have been removed and are operated by means of an arm inserted through a rear entrance. (first viewed c.2006)

leithman
10-04-2007, 12:56 AM
Robertsons Yam a diminutive creature which performs well on the park but has a tendency to neglect the nest allowing predators to approach its mate.

1two
10-04-2007, 06:16 PM
bump


always good to read about those worse off than yourself

lyonhibs
11-04-2007, 10:38 AM
Just to get a bit of a better atmosphere around this board as people appear to be getting their knickers in a twist over a Daily ****** "exclusive" (One of Scotland's best ever midfielders and one of the few to have made an impact abroad has a arrogant streak in him - SHOCK). We have a Scottish Cup Semi-Final to play against a beatable Dunfermline side, and if the 11 that wear the green on Sunday don't know/understand what that trophy means to us fans then they should all be given the "don't let the door slam" treatment in the summer (with the usual suspects first in line)

Yampathy - empathy shown by supporters of other clubs towards the Yams (Blind leading the blind,deaf AND dumb) in their current hilarious predicament. See also: never going to happen.

Yamthics - a code of ethics installed by King Yamvlad - utterly contrary to the accepted practices of any westernised society. Highlights include - entering into contracts to sign players for ridiculous sums (see yamoney) before attempting renege on said deal as the player in question turns out to be total Richard the Third, Slating certified Club Legends in the press (and somehow getting supporters to follow suit) whilst offering classic titbits to the media. See "We have found the cure, even if the diagnosis was painful!!!"

Speedway
19-04-2007, 10:29 AM
Yamackay an early flight bird who in typical yamness will not and cannot change its mind and vere from the chosen strategy, even if it means missing out on the greatest moment in yam history.

Yamanager extinct (last seen c.2006)

Yamuppet ideal leader of yams where heart soul and mind have been removed and are operated by means of an arm inserted through a rear entrance. (first viewed c.2006)

I believe this one is actually:

Yamanager (Interchangeable, Frequent)

HOMFC version of Champ Manager where you are sacked after every sixth game no matter what your results are.

Other game features include:

- The inability to have a contract accepted by any player in a league as good or better than the SPL

- 'Mutiny' button from players when they are not paid

- UEFA Disciplinary screenshots when you don't pay for a player

- SFA fines for disputing Referees' integrity.

- Up to one matchday tactical option.

- New animations including 'Yamo e Yamo' aftermatch handbags outside the stadium

ArmadaleHibs
19-04-2007, 10:55 AM
YAMORAK - yam who thinks he knows it all

YAMPOT - idiotic yam

YAMPALUMPA - small yam

YAMSTER - pets for yampots

GreenandGlaikit
19-04-2007, 11:00 AM
Yamkaybee: "A frequently unavailable, unreliable and often deluded information source"

Kendo
19-04-2007, 11:01 AM
Yamajor Announcement: eager speculation of some positive news from the PBS for days in advance only to discover that its all a load of crap.

monkey
19-04-2007, 07:34 PM
Big Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 2 trophies in 40 years

Wee Team
A term used to describe a club who have won 3 trophies in 40 years

Hoofball (kick, punt, grab, pull)
A style of football originating from west Edinburgh


Big team: a term used to describe a club who have won 2 MAJOR trophies in 40 years.

Wee Team: a term used to describe a club who have won 3 wee trophies in 40 years.

MSK
19-04-2007, 07:42 PM
Big team: a term used to describe a club who have won 2 MAJOR trophies in 40 years.

Wee Team: a term used to describe a club who have won 3 wee trophies in 40 years.Aye very good monkey boy ....:monkey: :monkey1:

1875
19-04-2007, 09:15 PM
DENIAL - Big River in North Africa

matty_f
20-04-2007, 09:48 AM
YaMONKEY - Fud who's only use in life is to post things to boost the self-esteem of those reading, when they realise that if they were a Yamonkey life would be so much worse.

macca70
20-04-2007, 10:26 AM
Yamyth

1. a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some being or hero or event, with or without a determinable basis of fact or a natural explanation

2. stories or matter of this kind

3. any invented story, idea, or concept

4. an imaginary or fictitious thing or person.

5. an unproved or false collective belief that is used to justify a social institution.

eg World cup signings, winning of CL, 40,000 stadium

macca70
20-04-2007, 10:35 AM
Yamanager

Very common puppett like creature, tends to be very gullable, expert at operating fax machines and the very rare species have been known to speak a little English.

Typical life span of a Yamanager is between 2 - 6 months.

macca70
20-04-2007, 10:41 AM
Yamassacre

HOMFC on the end of a humping

eg 0-7, 6-2, 81%-19% possession

MSK
20-04-2007, 10:41 AM
Yamorrhoids - Not to be confused with Haemorrhoids , these dont come out yer erse - These are Erses ...:wink:

macca70
20-04-2007, 10:46 AM
Yamassdebate

The gathering of yams to discuss all things yamish or a favourite yam past-time:wink:

macca70
20-04-2007, 09:58 PM
Yamheid

The obsession and study of the shape of Hibs managers heids.

eg monkeyheid, squareheid

The Harp
20-04-2007, 10:31 PM
In the spirit of Wikipedia, please feel free to contribute new or update existing definitions found below until we have a full and concise compendium of reference.

Terms:

Yam - ( Tool, tube, trumpet, muppet )

A mentally impaired or victim of circumstance follower of a derivitive of association football called hoofball (see hoofball)

A Yam, What A Yam! (Mocking, belittling)

A frequently misheard phrase uttered by the cartoon character Popeye. Also heard as 'I am what I am'

Yamfuddery (Knucklescraping, delusion)

Any specious reasoning used to dismiss impending doom.

Yamonomics (innumerate, Enron accounting)

The ability to calculate huge losses, ofset them against assets, still have huge losses and claim to be going in the right direction to Champions League glory.

A McVlad (Poison, Genetically Modified)

Burger served in McDonalds with iceberg lettuce, attractive advertising but ultimately of no substance shooting straight through you and out the other end leaving you feeling hollow and lonely inside.

Yammery (idiocy, cretinous, stupidity)

Any line of thought that lacks reality, reason, sense, foresight or logic.



Please add value below.

Yamustbecongratulated :thumbsup:

macca70
25-04-2007, 12:45 PM
With this place rife with Yams thought I would just bump this back up :thumbsup:

GreenandGlaikit
25-04-2007, 01:06 PM
With this place rife with Yams thought I would just bump this back up :thumbsup:


Yamedicare:- "A spurious medical procedure where witch doctors brandish golden rods to determine an individuals readiness to participate in the tribes' regular Yamhoofery ceremonies"

dexter
04-05-2007, 07:18 AM
Yamdexterous - the ability to baaa like a sheep on more than one forum.

:devil:

matty_f
04-05-2007, 07:27 AM
Yambecile - the general level of intelligence of your average Yam.

Yampotent - the inability to get it up based on the fact that no woman would touch you because you're a Yam.

Yamcompetent - the single failure of the Yams to do anything properly.

Sprouleflyer
04-05-2007, 09:21 AM
Yambecile - the general level of intelligence of your average Yam.

Yampotent - the inability to get it up based on the fact that no woman would touch you because you're a Yam.

Yamcompetent - the single failure of the Yams to do anything properly.

YAMIAGRA - The pill to cure infliction above, however does have draw backs, tends to make all Yams believe there bigger than what they really are.

matty_f
04-05-2007, 09:37 AM
YAMIAGRA - The pill to cure infliction above, however does have draw backs, tends to make all Yams believe there bigger than what they really are.

:thumbsup:

lyonhibs
10-05-2007, 11:45 AM
With the derby but 48 hours away, and The Bambo's recent proclamation that he beLIEves Hearts can be the best in the league, time to get your thinking caps on again and keep this thread going!!!

If the Blame Petrie and Calendar thread can get a billion posts each then so can this one!!!!

Sudds_1
10-05-2007, 11:54 AM
Yamadamadingdong: closing time at Robertsons Bar

:offski:

Speedway
10-05-2007, 11:58 AM
Yamonstermunch (2nd rate)

No frills alternative snack offered by Vlad as a signing on incentive to J-C Darcheville in order to snatch him from under the noses of Rankgers.

lyonhibs
05-06-2007, 03:51 PM
Bumpity bumpity bump - why not??

Yambo Jim Jeffries - ex-legend Yam (0-7 and 6-2) who various posters on Yamback claim to have utterly irrefutable evidence will bring the glory days back to Crimecastle. Cue about 15 threads and 56554435 pages of "debate" on the matter as various Yams cling to the faint hope that someone with any pedigree will take up the Yamanager post, whilst a few more worldly wise Yams - see rare, hatkickers - try to convince the majority that there is not a fanny's chance in Penisville that this will happen

Yambo - warrior for the Jambo cause, has been forced into hiding by his paymasters for his hilarious press conferences and annoying habit of screaming at a full moon. Wears his Ukio Bankas headband with pride. See also: Valdas Ivanauskas

peregrine
05-06-2007, 08:13 PM
Yamasturbation: act of self-flagellation indulged in by Yams while fantasising over the object of their affections, one V Romanov

Greentinted
05-06-2007, 09:59 PM
Yamidden - Grassy type area upon which the ancient art of hoofball was invented and sacred rituals of said activity continue to this day.

Yamunter/Yaminger - Female devotees of aforementioned hoofball, often observed wearing blank expressions and clothing of a putrid dark red hue.

Yam Chops - A foul tasting delicacy cut from the leftovers of those strange creatures who (as per the title deeds of Yamidden) graze on the grass surrounded by incongruosly large bus stops.:vladsheep:

Speedway
25-10-2007, 08:37 AM
Yamandown (Cheat, Cowardice)

The deliberate tactic of using Mikolooneytunes to get men of the opposing team sent off in matches by diving or feigning injury. Penalty kicks are accepted in the absence of a referee gullible enough to offer a red card.

bawheid
25-10-2007, 08:52 AM
Yamicable agreement

A settlement normally agreed prior to a court case, whereby a wronged former Yam is forced to accept a ridiculous amount of money in exchange for keeping shtum about the hilarious goings on at the Gorgie City Farm.

bawheid
25-10-2007, 08:58 AM
Yamarmoured vehicle

Transport used to take Yam employees in and out of Tynecastle during turbulent periods in HOMFC history. Introduced following incidents where both the team bus and an ambulance were targetted by stone-throwing hooligans during the Chris Robinson era. Expected to be required again shortly.

jacomo
25-10-2007, 10:49 AM
Planning application

An extremely convoluted and drawn-out process, that takes at least 3 years, at least 2 completely different sets of artists' impressions, intermittent press releases, and several changes of employees. And all this is before you actually submit any detailed drawings!

GreenandGlaikit
25-10-2007, 10:58 AM
Yamcashery: A paradoxical monetary situation where fabulously wealthy
tycoons are seemingly unable tae pay routine Bills in a timely manner.

bawheid
25-10-2007, 10:59 AM
Yam-fired stove

Small stove used for cooking food when camping outside football stadiums during protest demonstrations. Hot air is fed from the yam through a tube into the stove. The volatile breath is then lit to provide a flame. Ideal for reheating pies.

CAUTION: Stove will only last a maximum of 2 days before giving up the ghost and going home.

lyonhibs
25-10-2007, 12:08 PM
Yam Revival - a run of - at most - 5 games unbeaten against mostly mediocre opposition, but that sufficiently masks the farce that is HOMFC long enough for the dissenters to jump back on the bandwagon. 51 million pound new stands add to this effect. Usually brough crashing back down to earth by yet another home pumping by Dundee United.

Septimus
25-10-2007, 12:51 PM
Yamplification The art of counting all seats as perpetually taken

GREEN WARLORD
25-10-2007, 01:31 PM
Yambunctious A frenzied state that Yams find themselves in, usually when outraged at third rate Eastern Block hod carriers. Similarities are a trance like fit while practising voodoo.

jgl07
25-10-2007, 03:06 PM
YAMbition:

to proclaim one's club as contenders for the Champion's league title within 2 years.



:greengrin

.. But then be satisfied with progress when two years down the line you are in seventh place in the SPL.

swanny 6-2
25-10-2007, 03:16 PM
ukio yam bank the bank that likes to say yam:thumbsup:

Speedway
26-10-2007, 10:57 AM
Planning application

An extremely convoluted and drawn-out process, that takes at least 3 years, at least 2 completely different sets of artists' impressions, intermittent press releases, and several changes of employees. And all this is before you actually submit any detailed drawings!

By the rules of the Yamasaurus, that would need to be 'Yamming Application'

lyonhibs
26-10-2007, 11:12 AM
Silence of the Yams - a reworking of the classic horror film. Describes firstly the compulsory confidentiality clause put in all persons once capable of indepedent thought at Tynecastle. With such dissenters as Steven Pressley (club legend), George Burley (statistically most successfull manager even, but, oh he liked a drink) and Phil Anderton (oversaw one of the biggest leaps in ST sales since sliced bread became popular) booted out of Tynecastle for entirely spurious reasons, the Mad Bambo can continue on his march towards global domination and financial ruin (surely these things are somewhat incompatible - ed)

Also, used to describe the deafening silence at Crimecastle when Hearts go 3-0 down to Dundee United (again)

A Yam shank - a meal lovingly prepared by any given Yams mother (and -very occasionally given the average Yams facial disfigurement-wife) on a Champions League midweek in a attempt to sate said Yams rage at the fact that the Mad Bambo's promise that his glorious Hertz team would be there has proven to be absolute shiete - just like the rest of Scottish Football said it would!!

GGTTH

jgl07
26-10-2007, 11:25 AM
By the rules of the Yamasaurus, that would need to be 'Yamming Application'
This will never be submitted but draft plans will be wheeled out:

1. When season tickets are up for renewal*

2. Whenever Hearts lose 5-0 to anyone away or 4-0 at home to Dundee United or other embarrasing defeats.

* Season ticket renewal will take place in January 2008 to bring in the cash earlier to finance Hearts assult of the CL.

GREEN WARLORD
26-10-2007, 02:30 PM
Yamsvestite (crossdresser)

A person( usually male) who seeks sexual pleasure from wearing clothes of the opposite sex.

Yammaggedon (catastrophic, end)

Final conclusion of a poorly run hoofball club, inevitable whilst in the hands of incoherent ownership.

Yampot ( mentalist, bufoon, idiot)

Supporter of all things non-football, misguided, easily lead and not of sound mind.

Big Frank
26-10-2007, 02:59 PM
Robertsons Yam a diminutive creature which performs well on the park but has a tendency to neglect the nest allowing predators to approach its mate.




:faf::faf:


:thumbsup:

Hibernianinc
26-10-2007, 08:17 PM
Yamiter Dramatics - unconvincing acting, passed off as true representation of circumstances. See "Miko".

Lesser Spotted Yam - Craig Gordon.

Yam Plummage - Woolly extention of maroon and white twirled above head to signify excitement, willingness to mate with anything and gross stupidity.

Village Yam - individual of low intelligence, often picked on for sport. Identifiable by Yam Plummage.


This one could go for a while.....

SvenNeil
26-10-2007, 09:50 PM
YamalamadingdongA yams todger or squeal of delight (rarely heard by yams girlfriend/wife when exposed to said todger):wink:

Mikey K
27-10-2007, 09:19 AM
Just back fae holiday - reading this thread has put the feel good factor back into my life absolutely HILARIOUS

Have we had

yamtashtic the feeling engendered by laughing at tashed up yams crying on the Dens 86 pitch, the Bobby Ball lookalikes seemingly unaware of their resemblance to that tashed up God, Albert Kidd:thumbsup:

'Mon the Hibs
31-01-2008, 06:34 PM
:trumpet: bump

flash
31-01-2008, 06:37 PM
YAMAJORCA- Hertz flew out there this morning for their end of season break.

GIRUY!!!:bye:

Dashing Bob S
31-01-2008, 06:41 PM
Yamster - a small, ginger, caged rodent, who goes around in circles without getting anywhere. Occasionally known as the Frail.

Dalkeith Hibee
31-01-2008, 06:44 PM
Yammary gland

For clarification see Frail, Pressley, Hartley, Berra, Gordon, Mercer, Mackay, Fulton, Skacel, Stewart, or even breast or teat.

chorley_fm
31-01-2008, 06:47 PM
Yamiter Dramatics - unconvincing acting, passed off as true representation of circumstances. See "Miko".

Lesser Spotted Yam - Craig Gordon.

Yam Plummage - Woolly extention of maroon and white twirled above head to signify excitement, willingness to mate with anything and gross stupidity.

Village Yam - individual of low intelligence, often picked on for sport. Identifiable by Yam Plummage.


This one could go for a while.....

Greater Spotted Yam - Craig Gordon

Ginger Bread Yam, Stephen Frail

One Day Soon
31-01-2008, 09:07 PM
Yamnohuvvinthat - Stated of mind of various 'rejects from the cast of Shameless' type Jambos as they spot John Collins in the period immediately prior to attacking a BBC commentary box.

Yamgonnaedaeit - Pished claim by said Shameless UBIG supporters to pished mates upon setting off for commentary box.

YammacompleteFud, YammacompleteFud, YammacompleteFud - Weird repetetive thought echoing through head of Shameless UBIG fans as they approach commentary box.

Yamoantv! Yamoantv! - High pitched excited squeal emanating from Shameless UBIG fan while banging on commentary box.

Yamgladahmnothere - the thought going through the heads of the other 397,000 UBIG fans who never went through to Humpedagain.

Yamnivirgoannaelivethisdoonatthegowfclub - The head in his hands thought of the wannabe establishment Jambo with the blazer, dated Rover, RAC polished grille badge, yellow cardigan, driving gloves and mid ranking position in an Edinburgh financial services company as he contemplates having to explain the Shameless behaviour of the Robertson's Bar tendency live on BBC.

Yamutha***kas - What Dougie Donnelly really wanted to say on the night as it was all happening.

Speedway
31-01-2008, 09:20 PM
Yammadan - (Blaspheme, Sacreligious)

The alternative lifestyle festival that Hearts insist on their players observing that made Benji choose Hibs.

Sprouleflyer
31-01-2008, 09:30 PM
Yamanonymous A discription to describe the Hearts Manager, DOF, Head Coach and Club Accountant.

GREEN WARLORD
31-01-2008, 10:23 PM
Yamasutra the art of poor positioning, which leads to early release.

lyonhibs
27-02-2008, 12:18 PM
In honour of recent developments down Crimecastle way.

Yamfer = a unique twist on the more common "Transfer", where the selling club actually refuses higher bids for the player in question in order to accept a lesser offer a few months later for the same player. This is for deep and complex tax reasons which only the King Yam understands, and the rest of us minions - especially Hobos - should not even try to comprehend.

Own Goal - the only way the Yams seem capable of scoring, given their recent Yamfer dealings.

Sudds_1
27-02-2008, 12:35 PM
Yamamoto: colloquial term for mariner in charge of a sinking ship :agree:

jacomo
27-02-2008, 01:04 PM
Yamplify: (alt) the art of inflating someone's perceived worth way above any sane valuation. Usage: Velicka is worth £5m. Elliott is worth a place in the Scotland squad.

MyJo
27-02-2008, 01:33 PM
Yamputate - The process of removing vital working parts, for no apparent reason and often at the most inconvenient of times, with hugely inferior and uglier parts being used as replacements.

example - The top scorer Velicka has been yamputated from the squad from a pathetic fee, but dont worry we still have Calum Elliot.

Albanian Hibs
27-02-2008, 01:45 PM
Brilliant :faf::faf:

Keep it going :greengrin

Sudds_1
27-02-2008, 03:55 PM
Yamamoto: colloquial term for mariner in charge of a sinking ship :agree:

...of course I forgot to add the other meaning.....

: mariner who gets off to a spectacular start taking all by surprise but ultimately fails to deliver and sinks without trace. :wink:

poolman
27-02-2008, 04:05 PM
Yamen

The end of the Herz

Nando™
27-02-2008, 04:15 PM
Yamputate - The process of removing vital working parts, for no apparent reason and often at the most inconvenient of times, with hugely inferior and uglier parts being used as replacements.

example - The top scorer Velicka has been yamputated from the squad from a pathetic fee, but dont worry we still have Calum Elliot.
Sounds kinda familiar :hmmm:

MyJo
27-02-2008, 04:25 PM
Sounds kinda familiar :hmmm:

You must be thinking of Hobostration - The forced removal of the 'family jewels', often leaving the victim horrifically scarred, extremely dispirited and unable to 'perform' to thier previously high standards.

Thats a different thread entirely :greengrin:wink:

MyJo
27-02-2008, 04:37 PM
The Yamotaur (alias - Hristos Karapidis) – A creature that is part man part bull but unlike his distant relation, (The other great mythical Greek legend) ‘The Minotaur’ the Yamotaur is Bull from the waist down.

Although The Yamotaur’s physical appearance does not betray his bovine traits, they are all to apparent once he takes to the field of play. The Yamotaur is a master of the HOOOOOFBALL technique much loved by HoMFC. The ability to kick the ball from his own box all the way back into the hands of a Hibernian keeper is a feat many HoMFC defenders have mastered recently however only The Yamotaur has managed to do this while Hibs were playing another team at Easter Road.

The Yamotaur dwells deep in the heart of Tynecastle, a modern day Labyrinth* built for King Vlad of Midlithuania by the architect/general manager/contract negotiator/reserve goalkeeper/knight templar/ sporting director/executive officer Pedro Lopez and has been blamed for the extremely large quantities of bulls**t currently flowing out of Tynecastle however The Yamotaur sternly refuted these claims in a recent press conference when he was quoted as saying “MOOOOOOOOOOO!”


* An intricately weaved maze of foreign bank accounts. 749 page player contracts written in a mix of Latin, Urdu and Morse Code. Loan deals with no fewer than 16 different clubs involved. An ever changing 72 tier management structure and a roaming pack of rabid Lithuanian lawyers armed with deadly confidentiality agreements and frivolous lawsuits.

Nando™
27-02-2008, 04:43 PM
You must be thinking of Hobostration - The forced removal of the 'family jewels', often leaving the victim horrifically scarred, extremely dispirited and unable to 'perform' to thier previously high standards.

Thats a different thread entirely :greengrin:wink:
Thanks for clearing that up, nearly had a nervous breakdown.

hibeesboy1966
27-02-2008, 06:02 PM
YAMINERS digging a bigger hole to obscurity

strummbo
27-02-2008, 06:29 PM
a yambette

a yam fan of the female variety

yamateurs - the kaunas loan troupe

yamnobeleiveinthat - the dubios sceptical yam

yamyamyam - the one subject only yam

jacomo
29-02-2008, 12:41 PM
Traffic Yam

Severe congestion on the Queensferry Road as thousands of Yams all decide to drive to the Forth Rd Bridge and throw themselves off in despair.

lapsedhibee
29-02-2008, 12:52 PM
Feel sure it must be already in the 'saurus as it's such an obvious one, but yamikaze, adj, would well apply to the mentality of the lone jumboid who flew into the Hun hordes on Wednesday.

DaveF
29-02-2008, 12:53 PM
Have to admit, I've never read this thread before, but now I have it's an absolute belter :greengrin

Well done to all who have contributed.

Really cheered me up :thumbsup:

jacomo
29-02-2008, 01:01 PM
Have to admit, I've never read this thread before, but now I have it's an absolute belter :greengrin

Well done to all who have contributed.

Really cheered me up :thumbsup:

Where have you been man?! Some people swear by the calendar thread... but for me or the "blame Rod Petrie" line.

Speaking of which... where's that gone, you double-crossing no good slug balancer?

:hijack:

bawheid
29-02-2008, 01:26 PM
The Yambassador.

The yambassador's receptions are noted in society for their host's exquisite taste that captivates his guests…

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca4wEtGd--M

cabbageandribs1875
29-02-2008, 02:12 PM
Yamsvestite (crossdresser)

A person( usually male) who seeks sexual pleasure from wearing clothes of the opposite sex.
.


a yambette

a yam fan of the female variety





exhibit A
http://xs.to/xs.php?h=xs124&d=08086&f=yambam5168.gif :agree:

jacomo
29-02-2008, 02:22 PM
The Yamityville Horror (2008)

Dir:
V Romanov

Plot (warning - may contain spoilers, altho frankly you're an idiot if you didn't work out how this one was going to end):
It might not look much to anyone else, but for the Yam family, it's their dream home. They manage to avoid being evicted, helped by a mysterious uncle-type figure from the East. It soon transpires that all is not well, however, and the Yams start becoming terrorised by a demonic force. The more things go wrong, the more they search desperately for answers, only to be told "the voices (or possibly the fax machine) made me do it". One by one, the Yams realise that all they hold dear is now at risk. One of the scariest haunted house stories ever, because it's based on a true story.

hibs0666
22-04-2008, 12:47 PM
Yamaratins

Telephone-based propaganda service for disgrunteld and disillusioned yams. Users of the service experience a temporary euphoria that lasts just long enough to provide credit card details for the renewal of a season ticket.

Sudds_1
22-04-2008, 12:48 PM
you know, we really need to consolidate this into a word document or similar and have it as a sticky for ease of reference! :wink:

Speedway
22-04-2008, 01:00 PM
Question & Yamswer Session (Avoidance, Bluster)

Open forum but far from a speakeasy session held each year at the HoMFC AGyaM.

The Questions are typically valid and relevant while the 'yamswers' consist of bluff, smoke, mirrors, lies or a complete refusal to address the question outright for fear of exposing inconvient truths.

One Day Soon
22-04-2008, 01:01 PM
I was just thinking the same thing meself.


you know, we really need to consolidate this into a word document or similar and have it as a sticky for ease of reference! :wink:

Speedway
22-04-2008, 01:30 PM
Yamasterchef - (Knives, Recipie for failure)

Unpopular daytime TV show hosted by Roman's identical twin: Ainsley Romanov. 400,000 Contestants serve up over recipies that always turn out disasterously. See spin off show, 'cook the books'.


Yamerican Dream - (0%, Cash Only)

Attempt made by HoMFC director Sir Gay Fedora to market the club to the extremely gullible American soccer teenage market. No takers.


Yamplifier - (Loud, Annoying)

PA System used to broadcast pro-HoMFC propaganda at home matches such as 'Now making his 500th appearance for the club - Pinilla!!. Has the ability to be heard by a maximum of 10,000 people. Strangely, over 15,629 are reported to have heard it's broadcast in the ground last Saturday.


Oh Yamore - (Spandex, Pink)

Pop song by well known beat combo Egaysure. Entered (ahem) the hit parade top 50 at number 98 with an anchor. The band took a stab at a comeback, releasing a free CD which was slipped smoothly in from behind to all seats at the PBS. Sadly this was unsuccessful and both members (ooeerrr) went back to their factory jobs packing fudge. Have since re-emerged on 'Ya Tube' as Dance Nation.


Yampionship - (Bottom Six, Anyones)

Current 'honour' being contested by the club. Consists of the worst six full time professional teams in Scotland battling it out for the £40,000 on offer from the SPL to finish in top spot. HomFC are currently rated as 'Rank outsiders' by bookmakers William Hill. A spokesperson for William Hill however, later denied using the word 'outsiders'

jacomo
22-04-2008, 01:33 PM
Yamerican Express

Generous line of credit that initially gives the cardholder a feeling of "free money", before reality kicks in with exhorbitant interest payments and onerous terms and conditions.

nonshinyfinish
22-04-2008, 01:33 PM
Yamasterchef - (Knives, Recipie for failure)

Unpopular daytime TV show hosted by Roman's identical twin: Ainsley Romanov. 400,000 Contestants serve up over recipies that always turn out disasterously. See spin off show, 'cook the books'.


Yamerican Dream - (0%, Cash Only)

Attempt made by HoMFC director Sir Gay Fedora to market the club to the extremely gullible American soccer teenage market. No takers.


Yamplifier - (Loud, Annoying)

PA System used to broadcast pro-HoMFC propaganda at home matches such as 'Now making his 500th appearance for the club - Pinilla!!. Has the ability to be heard by a maximum of 10,000 people. Strangely, over 15,629 are reported to have heard it's broadcast in the ground last Saturday.


Oh Yamore - (Spandex, Pink)

Pop song by well known beat combo Egaysure. Entered (ahem) the hit parade top 50 at number 98 with an anchor. The band took a stab at a comeback, releasing a free CD which was slipped smoothly in from behind to all seats at the PBS. Sadly this was unsuccessful and both members (ooeerrr) went back to their factory jobs packing fudge. Have since re-emerged on 'Ya Tube' as Dance Nation.


Yampionship - (Bottom Six, Anyones)

Current 'honour' being contested by the club. Consists of the worst six full time professional teams in Scotland battling it out for the £40,000 on offer from the SPL to finish in top spot. HomFC are currently rated as 'Rank outsiders' by bookmakers William Hill. A spokesperson for William Hill however, later denied using the word 'outsiders'

:faf:

Marvellous.

lyonhibs
22-04-2008, 01:39 PM
Yamasterchef - (Knives, Recipie for failure)

Unpopular daytime TV show hosted by Roman's identical twin: Ainsley Romanov. 400,000 Contestants serve up over recipies that always turn out disasterously. See spin off show, 'cook the books'.


Yamerican Dream - (0%, Cash Only)

Attempt made by HoMFC director Sir Gay Fedora to market the club to the extremely gullible American soccer teenage market. No takers.


Yamplifier - (Loud, Annoying)

PA System used to broadcast pro-HoMFC propaganda at home matches such as 'Now making his 500th appearance for the club - Pinilla!!. Has the ability to be heard by a maximum of 10,000 people. Strangely, over 15,629 are reported to have heard it's broadcast in the ground last Saturday.


Oh Yamore - (Spandex, Pink)

Pop song by well known beat combo Egaysure. Entered (ahem) the hit parade top 50 at number 98 with an anchor. The band took a stab at a comeback, releasing a free CD which was slipped smoothly in from behind to all seats at the PBS. Sadly this was unsuccessful and both members (ooeerrr) went back to their factory jobs packing fudge. Have since re-emerged on 'Ya Tube' as Dance Nation.


Yampionship - (Bottom Six, Anyones)

Current 'honour' being contested by the club. Consists of the worst six full time professional teams in Scotland battling it out for the £40,000 on offer from the SPL to finish in top spot. HomFC are currently rated as 'Rank outsiders' by bookmakers William Hill. A spokesperson for William Hill however, later denied using the word 'outsiders'

Post of the Year :rotflmao::rotflmao::faf::faf:

:trumpet::jamboclow

Orchard_Hibs
22-04-2008, 01:54 PM
Yamacilin

Similar to most modern day medicines but with the advers affect of serious addiction, resulting in large wages for doing nothing, while the original pian or strain remains unhealed untill eventually leaving the Yamacilin house (similar to crack house). Major trial's have been held with messers Piniala and Aguar showing exemplory cases

hibs0666
22-04-2008, 02:53 PM
Yamfisted

Extra-curricular activity of young yam players.

chorley_fm
22-04-2008, 02:56 PM
Yamphetamines

Noun, drug founded in Lithuania but sold in the west side of Edinburgh

A hullciagenic drug given to beLIEvers who may be beggining to non beLIEve, Recent Yamphetamine tablets have gone by the street names of

"World Class Manager", "World Cup Players" or the most recent and very popular "40,000 seater stadium"

These Yamphetamines are rarely life threatening but do give the taker Un-realistic highs and a big team big fan mentality

The effects of Yamphetamines can be cancelled by another illegal tablet which goes by the street name of 40million pounds debt

jacomo
22-04-2008, 03:00 PM
Yamphetamines

Noun, drug founded in Lithuania but sold in the west side of Edinburgh

A hullciagenic drug given to beLIEvers who may be beggining to non beLIEve, Recent Yamphetamine tablets have gone by the street names of

"World Class Manager", "World Cup Players" or the most recent and very popular "40,000 seater stadium"

These Yamphetamines are rarely life threatening but do give the taker Un-realistic highs and a big team big fan mentality

The effects of Yamphetamines can be cancelled by another illegal tablet which goes by the street name of 40million pounds debt

Users can suffer from a terrible come down off this drug, no?

hibs0666
22-04-2008, 03:08 PM
Yamusement

1) Pertaining to the daily activities of the Romanov family and its tawdry little Edinburgh football club.

2) Albert Kidd.

Dashing Bob S
22-04-2008, 03:28 PM
Yambo

The tale of an all-action hero who with his trusty submarine saves 400,000 souls marooned on a surreal desert island. It features ghostly World Cup stars and hotels and stands that only exist in hallucination. It was the inspiration for the hit series Lost. As the Hollywood screenwriter says: "I saw Steve Frail in the Tynecastle dug-out and it all just clicked together."

Mark
22-04-2008, 03:44 PM
Yamitigation (Post Burley, working strategy)

-A process to lessen in force or intensity in Yamfball (see Hoofball).
-Demanded by Romanov, executed by S.Fail (coach, head of all Yampets, see Romanov's Collection of Yampets) and playing staff.

Yampets (cowardly, attentive listeners)

-Name associated with puppets to the grand master Romanov (Lithuania)
-Name associated with coaching staff of the entity that was HMFC (see FC Kaunus feeder team)

chorley_fm
22-04-2008, 04:12 PM
Yamusement

1) Pertaining to the daily activities of the Romanov family and its tawdry little Edinburgh football club.

2) Albert Kidd.

Yamusement Park

see Tynecastle Stadium

Yammer House of Horror

Low budget art-house 'Lithuania' movies based on the performancies of 'The Big Team', the most famous being 'The Double Year, starring Sir Albert Kidd a film so horrible in still sends shivers down the back of the Gorgie faithful.

However the performance by Sir Albert was so good it is still reveared by the fairer half of the city and is still talked about with pleasure almost 25 years later.

chorley_fm
22-04-2008, 04:20 PM
Yamusement Park

see Tynecastle Stadium

Yammer House of Horror

Low budget art-house 'Lithuania' movies based on the performancies of 'The Big Team', the most famous being 'The Double Year, starring Sir Albert Kidd a film so gruesome it still sends shivers down the back of the Gorgie faithful.

However the performance by Sir Albert was so good it is still reveared by the fairer half of the city and is still talked about with pleasure almost 25 years later.

Double Post !!!

VegasHibby
22-04-2008, 04:37 PM
In the spirit of Wikipedia, please feel free to contribute new or update existing definitions found below until we have a full and concise compendium of reference.

Terms:

Yam - ( Tool, tube, trumpet, muppet )

A mentally impaired or victim of circumstance follower of a derivitive of association football called hoofball (see hoofball)

A Yam, What A Yam! (Mocking, belittling)

A frequently misheard phrase uttered by the cartoon character Popeye. Also heard as 'I am what I am'

Yamfuddery (Knucklescraping, delusion)

Any specious reasoning used to dismiss impending doom.

Yamonomics (innumerate, Enron accounting)

The ability to calculate huge losses, ofset them against assets, still have huge losses and claim to be going in the right direction to Champions League glory.

A McVlad (Poison, Genetically Modified)

Burger served in McDonalds with iceberg lettuce, attractive advertising but ultimately of no substance shooting straight through you and out the other end leaving you feeling hollow and lonely inside.

Yammery (idiocy, cretinous, stupidity)

Any line of thought that lacks reality, reason, sense, foresight or logic.



Please add value below.

BRILLIANT !!! :faf:

Dashing Bob S
22-04-2008, 06:21 PM
Yamwrecked

A bit like shipwrecked, only with submarine qualities, when a captain has steered the vessel onto £37M worth of debt.

Hibbyradge
22-04-2008, 06:26 PM
Yamageddon - The credit crunch

O'Rourke3
22-04-2008, 07:03 PM
yamalamadingdong - Discussion outside AGM

Twa Cairpets
22-04-2008, 07:30 PM
Raspberry Yam - Alan Maclaren

chorley_fm
22-04-2008, 08:06 PM
Raspberry Yam - Alan Maclaren

LOL :thumbsup:

'Mon the Hibs
22-04-2008, 08:42 PM
Yamster - Popular mobile phone ring-tone supplier, featuring songs such as "We are un-beatable", "Vlad-a-mir Ro-manov" and "Sheite, Sheite, Glorious Sheite!".

NB. read the small print in the adverts, as the promises this rip-off service offers are, inevitably, never met.

matty_f
22-04-2008, 08:55 PM
AG(Ya)M

Meeting of top brass Yams, to discuss Yamathematics and other hilarious topics. Notably different from standard AGMs due to the high level gullability of base level Yams, and the Yamarrogance of the Yamaster's son.

Often results in a Yammash (similar to a strammash) as hat-kickers end up toy-fighting with Vladites.

Peevemor
10-05-2008, 09:14 AM
Yamble sale - a sort of stock clearance/closing down sale held by classy big massive clubs (if the Brownies aren't using the hall that day).

See here.

http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/...305765,00.html (http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/RetailNewsDetail/0,,10289%7E1305765,00.html)


Biggest Ever Sale!

Hearts final home Clydesdale Bank Premier League fixture of the season takes place on Saturday when the Jambos face up to Kilmarnock here at Tynecastle - and you can bag a bargain AND meet first team players at the same time.

Heart of Midlothian Superstore - Biggest Ever Sale
Gorgie Parish Church Hall - entrance next to Gorgie Stand
Open from 10am
Player signing session from 1pm - 2.45pm
To celebrate the end of the season the Heart of Midlothian Superstore is hosting its Biggest Ever Sale with prices on hundreds of items starting from just £1.
The Biggest Ever Sale takes place Gorgie Parish Church on Gorgie Road, just next to the Gorgie Stand entrance.
First team players not involved in the game against Kilmarnock will be on hand from 1pm in the Gorgie Parish Church Hall to sign autographs and pose for pictures.
It's the perfect combination - massive reductions and the chance to meet Hearts stars!
Tickets for Saturday's game are available now - and will be right up until kick-off with prices starting between £6 and £18. Click here (http://www.heartsfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/ComingUp/0,,10289,00.html) for more details.
Bag a bargain - make sure you visit Gorgie Parish Church from 10am on Saturday for our Biggest Ever Sale!


Terms and conditions: If you are visiting Gorgie Parish Church on Saturday for the Biggest Ever Sale please note that our staff can only accept cash for transactions. All items are not refundable. This does not affect your statutory rights.

Toaods
10-05-2008, 09:28 AM
YAM-usbejokin' :

A term often uttered by the non-Yams when hearing the latest high profile cash-only pitiful effort at entrepeneurial skills by HMFC marketing gurus.

GreenandGlaikit
10-05-2008, 09:37 AM
" Terms and conditions: If you are visiting Gorgie Parish Church on Saturday for the Biggest Ever Sale please note that our staff can only accept cash for transactions. All items are not refundable. This does not affect your statutory rights."

Yambazaar : -


"A flea-market , a strange disreputable sale where shoddy maroon-coloured goods are sold on a cash-only, non-refundable basis" :wink:

GreenandGlaikit
10-05-2008, 09:51 AM
Yamvan : -

A 3-wheeled vehicle manufactured by the Reliant Company which is used to transport goods to and from Yamble and Yambazaar markets. :greengrin

Toaods
10-05-2008, 10:07 AM
YAM-ATEUR DRAMATICS

A convention of terrible actors full of their own importance. These meetings are normally held in Church Halls and attended by deluded fanatics, sadly misguided by the idols performing for them.

Speedway
28-05-2008, 03:25 AM
Yamcelled (Bolted, Ha,Ha)

The status of a (presumably) club paid for (presumably) return air fare to Vilnius for a one Mr. M. Magoo.

Dashing Bob S
28-05-2008, 05:08 AM
YAMSPOTTING

A gritty urban novel that follows the desperate plight of a dwindling bunch of maroon clad hoofball addicts as they queue up outside the Tyney soup kitchen for their weekly fix.

Hibs7
28-05-2008, 05:10 AM
YAMcGHEE all singing all dancing managerial saviour, used to increase season ticket sales, but only works short term as is liable to go back to where he came from.

YAMARRIOT Mythical hotel which only appears every 40 years like the fabled Brigadoon, reported to be due an appearance in Gorgie in the year 2011, but don't hold your breath.

Sergy Pie
03-07-2008, 09:38 AM
YAMTHINK

The keyword here is blackwhite. Like so many Yam words, this word has two mutually contradictory meanings. Applied to an opponent, it means the habit of impudently claiming that black is white, in contradiction of the plain facts. Applied to a Yam, it means a loyal willingness to say that black is white when Vlad discipline demands this. But it means also the ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know that black is white, and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary. This demands a continuous alteration of the past, made possible by the system of thought which really embraces all the rest. YAMTHINK is basically the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.

jacomo
03-07-2008, 10:36 AM
Yamplications

Unfortunate and unforseeable set of difficulties that happen with alarming frequency in Yamland. Can make business take much, much longer than expected.

See:

1. Getting planning permission for new stand.
2. Appointing a manager.

Usage:
"Sorry, I'd hoped to send that fax to you today, but I've been delayed by a yamplication."

heretoday
03-07-2008, 11:11 AM
YAMSTYLE -

Distinctive mode of casual dress for the amply built man circa 1980s but still glimpsed today in Gorgie Suite and West Lothian masonics and bowling clubs.
Typified by Pringle jumper (two sizes too small) in pink, maroon or powder blue with emblem on left breast. Polo shirt of violently clashing colour underneath.
Often accompanied by light grey Fosters slacks (one size too small) and light grey loafers (freq tasselled).

The_Todd
03-07-2008, 11:23 AM
YAMTHINK

The keyword here is blackwhite. Like so many Yam words, this word has two mutually contradictory meanings. Applied to an opponent, it means the habit of impudently claiming that black is white, in contradiction of the plain facts. Applied to a Yam, it means a loyal willingness to say that black is white when Vlad discipline demands this. But it means also the ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know that black is white, and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary. This demands a continuous alteration of the past, made possible by the system of thought which really embraces all the rest. YAMTHINK is basically the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.

You've been reading 1984 again, haven't you?