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MyJo
22-03-2018, 02:49 PM
Why do some guys insist on going to the toilet for a Jarkko Wiss, using a cubicle, but not shutting the bloody door!

Does it excite you to think of someone not paying attention and walking into the back of you with your pork truncheon in your hand?

Do you enjoy awkward exchanges with other men while fiddling with your junk?

Just shut the damn door, itís not difficult..........rant over. :greengrin

Alfiembra
22-03-2018, 03:10 PM
Nowt as strange as folk.

I worked beside a guy who would not stand beside anyone at the urinals, always had to be at least one clear urinal between him and anyone else. His explanation was it wasn't cool and he needed his "man" space. If there was someone was having a hit and a miss and was standing in the middle of 3 urinals he would then use a cubicle but did close the door.

Peevemor
22-03-2018, 03:23 PM
When "Maison Hector" opened in Stockbridge they had a urinal wide enough for 4-5 blokes. The back of it was a huge mirror which was meant to have a constant cascade of water running down it, serving as a feature as well as the flush. After a couple of weeks however, the water was switched off (probably too wasteful) so you were left pissing against a big mirror. When it was busy all you could see was tadgers wherever you looked.

I'm not at all prudish, but even I found it a bit disconcerting.

Hiber-nation
22-03-2018, 03:52 PM
Why do some guys insist on going to the toilet for a Jarkko Wiss, using a cubicle, but not shutting the bloody door!

Does it excite you to think of someone not paying attention and walking into the back of you with your pork truncheon in your hand?

Do you enjoy awkward exchanges with other men while fiddling with your junk?

Just shut the damn door, itís not difficult..........rant over. :greengrin

Funny that, if the urinals are full and I use the traps I never think of shutting the door, you're doing the same thing that the blokes at the urinal are!

Peevemor
22-03-2018, 03:57 PM
Funny that, if the urinals are full and I use the traps I never think of shutting the door, you're doing the same thing that the blokes at the urinal are!

Ditto. I leave the door open deliberately to let guys waiting know that I'm not doing a number 2.

CropleyWasGod
22-03-2018, 03:58 PM
Funny that, if the urinals are full and I use the traps I never think of shutting the door, you're doing the same thing that the blokes at the urinal are!

Yep.

If you shut the door, there's always the chance that somebody will push it open and hit you in the erse, mid-stream.

pollution
22-03-2018, 05:15 PM
Ditto. I leave the door open deliberately to let guys waiting know that I'm not doing a number 2.


What's wrong with doing a number 2??

Mrs. S
22-03-2018, 06:22 PM
You men are just weird :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:

hibsbollah
22-03-2018, 08:06 PM
You men are just weird :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:

Nothing as fine as a single fish in the open air against a tree or something... :stirrer:

Mrs. S
22-03-2018, 08:24 PM
Nothing as fine as a single fish in the open air against a tree or something... :stirrer:

:na na:

Peevemor
22-03-2018, 09:17 PM
What's wrong with doing a number 2??Nothing at all when needs must. If people can see that you're having a slash then they know you won't be long and will wait. A closed cubicle door can mean a wait of anything from 2 to 20 minutes.

speedy_gonzales
22-03-2018, 09:35 PM
At what age is it no longer acceptable to undo your breeks and y's to your ankles when having a Lillian Gish?

Future17
22-03-2018, 09:42 PM
Yep.

If you shut the door, there's always the chance that somebody will push it open and hit you in the erse, mid-stream.

They should put locks on them... ;-)

HUTCHYHIBBY
22-03-2018, 09:47 PM
Nothing at all when needs must. If people can see that you're having a slash then they know you won't be long and will wait. A closed cubicle door can mean a wait of anything from 2 to 20 minutes.

Perfectly acceptable bog decorum.

danhibees1875
22-03-2018, 09:53 PM
Given the option I'll always take the urinal leaving the most space between me and others in there. It's probably the quickest calculation the human brain can make.

Peevemor
22-03-2018, 10:00 PM
A thing that always shocks me is folk taking their drink into stinking pub bogs. It really gives me the boak - I have an image of a skin of brown and yellow particles forming on top of the drink.

CropleyWasGod
22-03-2018, 11:44 PM
They should put locks on them... ;-)Boak. That means touching them. [emoji21]

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CropleyWasGod
22-03-2018, 11:45 PM
A thing that always shocks me is folk taking their drink into stinking pub bogs. It really gives me the boak - I have an image of a skin of brown and yellow particles forming on top of the drink.Or guys checking their mobiles whilst they're having a slash.



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bingo70
23-03-2018, 07:23 AM
Or guys checking their mobiles whilst they're having a slash.



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I do that.

I tend to find one hand is normally sufficient for holding so what you meant to do with the other hand? What did folk do with their spare hand before mobile phones?

Hibrandenburg
23-03-2018, 07:27 AM
Pick their noses and wipe the return on the wall if I remember correctly.

CropleyWasGod
23-03-2018, 07:37 AM
I do that.

I tend to find one hand is normally sufficient for holding so what you meant to do with the other hand? What did folk do with their spare hand before mobile phones?You only need one hand?


Ah ok.


[emoji54]

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Jim44
23-03-2018, 08:30 AM
A thing that always shocks me is folk taking their drink into stinking pub bogs. It really gives me the boak - I have an image of a skin of brown and yellow particles forming on top of the drink.

Reminds me of the old chestnut ....... guy in the pub wants to go for a pee but doesnít want to leave nearly a full pint unattended. He writes Ď Iíve spat in this pintí on a beer mat and leaves it next to his glass. When he returns, somebody had added ......... ĎSo have I!í

stuart-farquhar
23-03-2018, 10:04 AM
Reminds me of the old chestnut ....... guy in the pub wants to go for a pee but doesnít want to leave nearly a full pint unattended. He writes Ď Iíve spat in this pintí on a beer mat and leaves it next to his glass. When he returns, somebody had added ......... ĎSo have I!í

In the states where, i live part of the time, you put a beer mat on your drink and thus no one touches it or takes your stool. Gobbing in it optional.

Hibbyradge
23-03-2018, 10:10 AM
At what age is it no longer acceptable to undo your breeks and y's to your ankles when having a Lillian Gish?

That should stop by age 11.

It can resume from whatever age binge drinking starts.

Or 73. Whichever comes first.

matty_f
23-03-2018, 01:31 PM
I don't get the guys that have to rest their arm on the wall above the urinal and lean right over.

Personally, I like to take a slash in the cubicle (with the door shut), that way I never feel rushed with folk waiting or hovering about and avoid some proper weird behaviour from others.

There was a guy the other day having a phone conversation while he peed.

Peevemor
23-03-2018, 01:38 PM
I don't get the guys that have to rest their arm on the wall above the urinal and lean right over.

Personally, I like to take a slash in the cubicle (with the door shut), that way I never feel rushed with folk waiting or hovering about and avoid some proper weird behaviour from others.

There was a guy the other day having a phone conversation while he peed.Or the person with the greasy forehead that used to work in my office...https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180323/73ce78d2b6a191a3b16d4c5e0ea5c791.jpg

snooky
23-03-2018, 01:38 PM
That should stop by age 11.

It can resume from whatever age binge drinking starts.

Or 73. Whichever comes first.

I would like to suggest that at 73 you might have a hard time getting down to pull your kechs back up. Easier to wear Depends I would think. (And before some wise guy asks, no I don't wear them :greengrin).

matty_f
23-03-2018, 01:46 PM
Or the person with the greasy forehead that used to work in my office...https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180323/73ce78d2b6a191a3b16d4c5e0ea5c791.jpg


Boak!!

Hibbyradge
23-03-2018, 01:50 PM
I would like to suggest that at 73 you might have a hard time getting down to pull your kechs back up. Easier to wear Depends I would think. (And before some wise guy asks, no I don't wear them :greengrin).

To be honest, the chances of meeting someone in the bog who is aged 73 and has never binged on alcohol is fairly slim.

Drop 'em, I say, drop 'em all!

pollution
23-03-2018, 05:22 PM
I use the cubicle for a micturition as I wear long johns and I don't want to stand with my bum showing

in front of others. People that is, not bums.

Door locked too. Scrub hands and try and get out without touching the door handle.

In my experience as a frequent cubicle user I would say only 20% or so wash their hands.

Fess up, anyone??

Speedy
23-03-2018, 05:51 PM
In the states where, i live part of the time, you put a beer mat on your drink and thus no one touches it or takes your stool. Gobbing in it optional.

Wouldn't surprise me if that was less hygienic than carrying it in with you while taking a piss.

Speedy
23-03-2018, 05:52 PM
Funny that, if the urinals are full and I use the traps I never think of shutting the door, you're doing the same thing that the blokes at the urinal are!

Agreed.

Strange behavior if the urinals are free though.

snooky
23-03-2018, 08:57 PM
Interesting to read all the comments about watching our pees and queues.

SuperAllyMcleod
23-03-2018, 09:13 PM
I use the cubicle for a micturition as I wear long johns and I don't want to stand with my bum showing

in front of others. People that is, not bums.

Door locked too. Scrub hands and try and get out without touching the door handle.

In my experience as a frequent cubicle user I would say only 20% or so wash their hands.

Fess up, anyone??

I admit it, Iím one of the 20%.

It does remind me of the most pointless invention in recent years - electronic soap dispensers.

If you use a normal soap dispenser (and are worried about germs), literally, what is the next thing you are going to do? Yep, wash your hands with the soap that has just been dispensed.

So where is the benefit of not touching the dispenser? Now, automatic taps, they would be a lot more useful. As would exit doors that you could push without touching the handles.

Pretty Boy
23-03-2018, 10:02 PM
I admit it, Iím one of the 20%.

It does remind me of the most pointless invention in recent years - electronic soap dispensers.

If you use a normal soap dispenser (and are worried about germs), literally, what is the next thing you are going to do? Yep, wash your hands with the soap that has just been dispensed.

So where is the benefit of not touching the dispenser? Now, automatic taps, they would be a lot more useful. As would exit doors that you could push without touching the handles.

Tbh I never really worry about toilet door handles, no more so than anywhere else in a pub or the like. If someone hasn't washed their hands they don't shed all the germs on the door handle as they exit. They'll be all over hand rails on staircases, the bar, glasses, a buffet, the wall, still on their hand if you shake hands with them and are unaware of their clartiness and so on.

If you worried about every germ you could pick up in public places then no one would ever leave the house.

Peevemor
23-03-2018, 10:39 PM
C'mon - there's nothing worse than washing & drying your hands then finding the handle soaking wet on your way out the bogs.

Scouse Hibby
23-03-2018, 10:58 PM
I admit it, Iím one of the 20%.

It does remind me of the most pointless invention in recent years - electronic soap dispensers.

If you use a normal soap dispenser (and are worried about germs), literally, what is the next thing you are going to do? Yep, wash your hands with the soap that has just been dispensed.

So where is the benefit of not touching the dispenser? Now, automatic taps, they would be a lot more useful. As would exit doors that you could push without touching the handles.

It's all about preventing bacterial growth on a device rather than hand washing concerns. Especially in kitchens you hardly want to have something that harbours bacteria that hand washing doesn't kill.

lord bunberry
24-03-2018, 12:25 AM
I don't get the guys that have to rest their arm on the wall above the urinal and lean right over.

Personally, I like to take a slash in the cubicle (with the door shut), that way I never feel rushed with folk waiting or hovering about and avoid some proper weird behaviour from others.

There was a guy the other day having a phone conversation while he peed.
I always piss in the urinal and look around myself in a confident and dismissive manner.

Wembley67
24-03-2018, 12:33 AM
Always use toilets for a piss, splash back is an issue with urinals and unless you want pissy breaks then there is your answer.

Jack
24-03-2018, 07:39 AM
Nothing worse than needing to sit down in a trap and the guy in front ignores the empty urinals and goes for a pee in the trap! Even worse he doesn't lift the lid!!!!!!

Sad though it seems I've surveyed the door handles in public toilets! (Looking at where the wear and tear is.)

I can advise that most people pull on the handle from the top. Having noted this I've seen that even short people go for the top.

On some cruise ships there is a bin by the door. People are encouraged to use a paper towel to open the door and bin the towel as they exit. I also noticed similar in bars in the States but with no bin just a huge pile towels behind the door.

Hermit Crab
24-03-2018, 09:25 AM
Is it acceptable to take a dump at a mates house? Last thing you want to do is leave skidders all over the pan. :dunno:

Danderhall Hibs
24-03-2018, 10:33 AM
I do that.

I tend to find one hand is normally sufficient for holding so what you meant to do with the other hand? What did folk do with their spare hand before mobile phones?

Tickled their balls. :agree:

matty_f
24-03-2018, 04:32 PM
I always piss in the urinal and look around myself in a confident and dismissive manner.

I use the urinals for number twos. :greengrin

hibsbollah
24-03-2018, 04:47 PM
Is it acceptable to take a dump at a mates house? Last thing you want to do is leave skidders all over the pan. :dunno:

Most modern pans have put design over efficacy. Basically, the hole at the bottom is too narrow so unless you have the aim of Phil the Power Taylor you end up getting skidders all over the porcelain. Old school Armitage Shanks allowed your Forrest Gump to freely enter the sewage system without brushing the sides. I used to get out the toilet brush once in a blue moon. Changed days indeed :agree:

Hermit Crab
24-03-2018, 10:48 PM
Most modern pans have put design over efficacy. Basically, the hole at the bottom is too narrow so unless you have the aim of Phil the Power Taylor you end up getting skidders all over the porcelain. Old school Armitage Shanks allowed your Forrest Gump to freely enter the sewage system without brushing the sides. I used to get out the toilet brush once in a blue moon. Changed days indeed :agree:


Gone are the days of you dropping a torpedo right down the U end without even a hint of a skidder. Now its panic stations when you realise your Tom Kite has somehow plastered itself to the sides of your mates toilet duck fresh lavvy despite it being a clean snip, you're then left wondering how to clean it up without him noticing. :panic:

1875godsgift
25-03-2018, 02:55 AM
Gone are the days of you dropping a torpedo right down the U end without even a hint of a skidder. Now its panic stations when you realise your Tom Kite has somehow plastered itself to the sides of your mates toilet duck fresh lavvy despite it being a clean snip, you're then left wondering how to clean it up without him noticing. :panic:

I find a toothbrush does the job quite well, there's normally one hanging about somewhere 🚾

Hermit Crab
25-03-2018, 11:16 AM
I find a toothbrush does the job quite well, there's normally one hanging about somewhere 🚾


I guarantee thats been done as a prank in the past. :greengrin

bernz
02-04-2018, 03:42 PM
The most selfish of men are those that use the middle urinal of three

sleeping giant
02-04-2018, 03:55 PM
The most selfish of men are those that use the middle urinal of three

Sometimes that's needed after a rampant sex session :greengrin

Colr
02-04-2018, 05:58 PM
A thing that always shocks me is folk taking their drink into stinking pub bogs. It really gives me the boak - I have an image of a skin of brown and yellow particles forming on top of the drink.

Or texting whilst they are pishing.

danhibees1875
02-04-2018, 06:17 PM
Is it acceptable to take a dump at a mates house? Last thing you want to do is leave skidders all over the pan. :dunno:

I don't understand why anyone wouldn't have a toilet brush next to their toilet. :dunno:


Or texting whilst they are pishing.

I got complimented on my multi tasking in the pub the other night when caught doing that.

I put my phone away after that as once there is someone else there with their willy out I find it inappropriate to wave about anything with a camera. But generally, I'd rather check my texts while I pee than when sitting with my mates.

O'Rourke3
23-04-2018, 10:10 PM
Answering the op I never shut the trap door simply because if there was a free stall there'd be no door to shut. Door shut = Jimmy White

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IGRIGI
25-04-2018, 08:07 PM
I always go in the cubicle for a pee, I prefer the privacy.

Taking the middle urinal is a crime that deserves the death penalty.

Hermit Crab
26-04-2018, 12:23 AM
If you use the cubicles then you must have a small rolling rock. :greengrin

Alfiembra
26-04-2018, 07:53 AM
Another thing that has always eluded me is why some blokes have to get almost the full kit off to have a Jimmy Riddle at the urinals, belt undone, kecks completely opened up. WTF is going on :confused:

Thief
26-04-2018, 08:22 AM
Another thing that has always eluded me is why some blokes have to get almost the full kit off to have a Jimmy Riddle at the urinals, belt undone, kecks completely opened up. WTF is going on :confused:

Lol, guilty as charged!
Always felt it was like a wrestling match with my member, trying to overcome the various barriers to freedom!
Over the top always beats through the side, and as for negotiating the zipped ballop (is that even a word) - no thank you [emoji6]


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Hibrandenburg
26-04-2018, 05:24 PM
Another thing that has always eluded me is why some blokes have to get almost the full kit off to have a Jimmy Riddle at the urinals, belt undone, kecks completely opened up. WTF is going on :confused:

Button jeans.

johnbc70
26-04-2018, 06:20 PM
Another thing that has always eluded me is why some blokes have to get almost the full kit off to have a Jimmy Riddle at the urinals, belt undone, kecks completely opened up. WTF is going on :confused:

Maybe just me, but that comes with a certain age I think.

heretoday
28-04-2018, 12:15 PM
If you have a prostate problem (no names no pack drill) it can take a longish time to complete a Lillian Gish. The privacy of the cubicle helps a chap to cope.