Spouse behaviour. Opinions wanted

[stuart-farquhar]

On Sunday about 4 my wife said she haf a client interested in some business and was meeting for coffee ten miles away.

i discovered on her return much later she had no paperwork and couldn't n the info available done anything at all. Basically a call or text would have been enough.

later after my querying her she said it was an old colleague.

Then a male colleague. He is single and ages with her. I then discover they text. Then they pub it every Friday. Then she says they are close friends. I say im not happy at all with this.She says not negotiable. Then i discover he might be moving to her work and be her partner in the office.

TBH i ain't happy
Any thoughts?

[Future17]

Wow, was half-expecting a "Pet Peeves" style thread when I saw the title.

Has she offered any explanation as to why she lied to you initially? Have you had any issues previously with accusations of infidelity?

I ask mainly because, had she been 100% honest from the start with the information you've since discovered, I personally wouldn't have a problem. The fact that she felt the need to conceal it strikes me as being odd.

[stuart-farquhar]

Wow, was half-expecting a "Pet Peeves" style thread when I saw the title.

Has she offered any explanation as to why she lied to you initially? Have you had any issues previously with accusations of infidelity?

I ask mainly because, had she been 100% honest from the start with the information you've since discovered, I personally wouldn't have a problem. The fact that she felt the need to conceal it strikes me as being odd.

Thanks. Still reeling a bit.

[snooky]

Thanks. Still reeling a bit.

If it was me I would ask her how she would feel if it was the other way around.

[speedy_gonzales]

I can understand you not being happy, there's an element of dishonest/secretive behaviour. There's also this 3rd party, do you judge their intent on what your wife says or how you would act yourself?
I'm not suggesting all men are dogs, but there's a few out there.

I went through a similari-ish thing a couple of years ago. My partner was a senior engineer with an Edinburgh based consultancy, she was head hunted by an ex-colleague that knew her fairly well. They went for coffee more than once and when I asked how the "interview" was going she conceded they mostly just talked on a social, not professional level.
I suggested the other guy was at it, what she heard was "I think you're cheating!",,,,I had to convince her that not all men (or women) see a wedding band as a problem!
In the end I basically said I wasn't happy and could live with being paranoid & jealous if that's what it was.
Turns out it wasn't, the guy made it clear there was no job on the table and he was definitely fishing.
It wasn't all bad though, wife got a bit of a wake up call and approached her own work for a pay rise, ended up getting an Associates position, she's now too busy to see me never mind anyone else ;)

[stuart-farquhar]

I can understand you not being happy, there's an element of dishonest/secretive behaviour. There's also this 3rd party, do you judge their intent on what your wife says or how you would act yourself?
I'm not suggesting all men are dogs, but there's a few out there.

I went through a similari-ish thing a couple of years ago. My partner was a senior engineer with an Edinburgh based consultancy, she was head hunted by an ex-colleague that knew her fairly well. They went for coffee more than once and when I asked how the "interview" was going she conceded they mostly just talked on a social, not professional level.
I suggested the other guy was at it, what she heard was "I think you're cheating!",,,,I had to convince her that not all men (or women) see a wedding band as a problem!
In the end I basically said I wasn't happy and could live with being paranoid & jealous if that's what it was.
Turns out it wasn't, the guy made it clear there was no job on the table and he was definitely fishing.
It wasn't all bad though, wife got a bit of a wake up call and approached her own work for a pay rise, ended up getting an Associates position, she's now too busy to see me never mind anyone else ;)

Glad it worked out.

My wife works till 9 most nights often later.

I'd never heard of this guy. She says things like " he doesn't fancy me" How does she know? Ive asked her but she never said.

I said she should maybe drop him. No. I said I was very uncomfortable with this..Nope. I said i felt threatened and she said go if you want to i will be fine on my own.
It's all a bit surreal. Typing it out makes me uncomfortable.

I'm around and at home a lot so do domestic stuff. I have this picture of me loading the dishwasher or something while they work and play. Maybe its me!!

[Scouse Hibee]

On Sunday about 4 my wife said she haf a client interested in some business and was meeting for coffee ten miles away.

i discovered on her return much later she had no paperwork and couldn't n the info available done anything at all. Basically a call or text would have been enough.

later after my querying her she said it was an old colleague.

Then a male colleague. He is single and ages with her. I then discover they text. Then they pub it every Friday. Then she says they are close friends. I say im not happy at all with this.She says not negotiable. Then i discover he might be moving to her work and be her partner in the office.

TBH i ain't happy
Any thoughts?

I wouldn't have a problem with my wife meeting an old colleague or friend for an occasional coffee or drink. There is no way I would be happy with her disclosing that it has in fact been a regular Friday pub date and that they might be working together in the future. I trust my wife implicitly but this secretive meeting of another male in a pub would tell me the trust has been broken and I would firmly believe that trouble was afoot. Especially if she gave me a non negotiable response.

[stuart-farquhar]

I wouldn't have a problem with my wife meeting an old colleague or friend for an occasional coffee or drink. There is no way I would be happy with her disclosing that it has in fact been a regular Friday pub date and that they might be working together in the future. I trust my wife implicitly but this secretive meeting of another male in a pub would tell me the trust has been broken and I would firmly believe that trouble was afoot. Especially if she gave me a non negotiable response.

Ta

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

The situation certainly merits a Steward's (or Stuart's) Enquiry.

[bigwheel]

when I read this a couple of things came to mind..

firstly, having a friend of the opposite sex you connect with socially - is fine - as long as there is integrity on both sides..why not..

Secondly, The deceit though sits more uncomfortably..why a Sunday meeting? What couldn't wait until the next time they caught up? And why not tell the truth? What has driven the behaviour of concealing this friendship until you challenged her about it? That feels the least healthy bit of this situation.

Good luck in working it through .

[stuart-farquhar]

when I read this a couple of things came to mind..

firstly, have a friend of the opposite sex you connect with socially - is fine - as long as there is integrity on both sides..why not..

Secondly, The deceit though sits more uncomfortably..why a Sunday meeting? What couldn't wait until the next time they caught up? And why not tell the truth? What has driven the behaviour of concealing this friendship until you challenged her about it? That feels the least healthy bit of this situation.

Good luck in working it through .

Thanks again

The sunday thing was funny i suppose. There was showering make up perfume etc all to go to a bogus meeting. Like I would never know!

[Hibee87]

Glad it worked out.

My wife works till 9 most nights often later.

I'd never heard of this guy. She says things like " he doesn't fancy me" How does she know? Ive asked her but she never said.

I said she should maybe drop him. No. I said I was very uncomfortable with this..Nope. I said i felt threatened and she said go if you want to i will be fine on my own.
It's all a bit surreal. Typing it out makes me uncomfortable.

I'm around and at home a lot so do domestic stuff. I have this picture of me loading the dishwasher or something while they work and play. Maybe its me!!

My opinion on the comment of 'Go if you want to, I will be fine on my own' suggests to me she wants out, but wants you to be the one to do it. Im sorry for what your saying as to me she clearly doesnt care about you or your feelings if you have found this secretive meeting out but she refuses to see how it looks from your perspective.
Obviously im no expert and could be wrong, but I suggest sitting down and chatting with her, dont get angry, even if she does and try to sort things out. If she has no interest in sorting things out or talking then im afraid if it was me I would tell her its maybe time up.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

My opinion on the comment of 'Go if you want to, I will be fine on my own' suggests to me she wants out, but wants you to be the one to do it. Im sorry for what your saying as to me she clearly doesnt care about you or your feelings if you have found this secretive meeting out but she refuses to see how it looks from your perspective.
Obviously im no expert and could be wrong, but I suggest sitting down and chatting with her, dont get angry, even if she does and try to sort things out. If she has no interest in sorting things out or talking then im afraid if it was me I would tell her its maybe time up.

I concur, particularly if no kids are involved.

[ColinNish]

You say she works till 9 most nights -what time does she start work and what does she work as?

[Pete]

My opinion on the comment of 'Go if you want to, I will be fine on my own' suggests to me she wants out, but wants you to be the one to do it. Im sorry for what your saying as to me she clearly doesnt care about you or your feelings if you have found this secretive meeting out but she refuses to see how it looks from your perspective.
Obviously im no expert and could be wrong, but I suggest sitting down and chatting with her, dont get angry, even if she does and try to sort things out. If she has no interest in sorting things out or talking then im afraid if it was me I would tell her its maybe time up.

Agree.

No time for a long answer but your wife should be respecting your feelings a bit more if she loved you.

Ask yourself honestly if you're being too posessive and if you aren't, you need to start laying down some ultimatums yourself.

No matter who you are you don't deserve to be messed about and you have to respect yourself. Life will go on if it doesn't work out.

[Alfiembra]

I think it's time to get a bit smarter about the whole situation.


If I was in your position there are several things I'd try.


Ask her out for a romantic date or weekend away, see how ready she is to spend time with you. But as I say try and be smart about it, don't make it at a time you know she would have a ready excuse for not going. And if she does keep fending you off ask her what are her reasons for it. Are they plausible, the more convoluted and outrageous they sound the more likely there could be something going on.


Ask her about holidays "where are we going this year?"


If she says she's just going round to her pals tell her "I could do with a bit of fresh air I'll drop you off" or "I'll come too" and see what sort of reaction you get.


I also find women are thick as thieves with their pals and she will be getting all sorts of advice good and bad from them.


Hope you can resolve things and get an outcome that suits you.

[lord bunberry]

Thanks again

The sunday thing was funny i suppose. There was showering make up perfume etc all to go to a bogus meeting. Like I would never know!
I think you need to ask yourself what you think is going on. If someone in a relationship tells you to leave if you want, that's breaking up with you imo.
You need to talk to her.

[stuart-farquhar]

I think it's time to get a bit smarter about the whole situation.


If I was in your position there are several things I'd try.


Ask her out for a romantic date or weekend away, see how ready she is to spend time with you. But as I say try and be smart about it, don't make it at a time you know she would have a ready excuse for not going. And if she does keep fending you off ask her what are her reasons for it. Are they plausible, the more convoluted and outrageous they sound the more likely there could be something going on.


Ask her about holidays "where are we going this year?"


If she says she's just going round to her pals tell her "I could do with a bit of fresh air I'll drop you off" or "I'll come too" and see what sort of reaction you get.


I also find women are thick as thieves with their pals and she will be getting all sorts of advice good and bad from them.


Hope you can resolve things and get an outcome that suits you.

I've tried a fair bit of that. Will maybe have a final go.

[Pretty Boy]

She's behaved in a dishonest way. She lied to you about who she was meeting and it appears she has been dishonest about these Friday meet ups as well. I've obviously no idea about the history of your realtionship but that sets alarms bells ringing to me.

Why did she choose to lie about who she was meeting? Why has she never mentioned these Friday pub trips before? How would she feel if the roles were reversed?

You need to have 'the' chat and you need to be prepared for her to try and turn it on you, that's my past experience of how these things tend to go. If it's all innocent she had no reason to lie and she needs to respect your feelings going forward. There is no such thing as 'non negotiable' in a relationship imo, compromise is everything.

Personally I have female friends who I meet semi regularly and it's no issue because I'm honest about it, my girlfriend does likewise with male friends. If either of us starts trying to hide it that's when an issue arises, again imo, and that's where you are now.

[snooky]

I'm no Marjorie Proops but, the negative tone in her responses is speaking volumes to me.
Line in the sand time.

[stuart-farquhar]

You say she works till 9 most nights -what time does she start work and what does she work as?

Out at 8.30. She has deadlines i know. Often simply has to be there. Although today i offered lunch, meet on a break and finally meet after work. All not possible. She is giving a friend a lift apparently and I'm not welcome.

[stuart-farquhar]

She's behaved in a dishonest way. She lied to you about who she was meeting and it appears she has been dishonest about these Friday meet ups as well. I've obviously no idea about the history of your realtionship but that sets alarms bells ringing to me.

Why did she choose to lie about who she was meeting? Why has she never mentioned these Friday pub trips before? How would she feel if the roles were reversed?

You need to have 'the' chat and you need to be prepared for her to try and turn it on you, that's my past experience of how these things tend to go. If it's all innocent she had no reason to lie and she needs to respect your feelings going forward. There is no such thing as 'non negotiable' in a relationship imo, compromise is everything.

Personally I have female friends who I meet semi regularly and it's no issue because I'm honest about it, my girlfriend does likewise with male friends. If either of us starts trying to hide it that's when an issue arises, again imo, and that's where you are now.

I have no issue with casual opposite sex friends. I have loads. It's the close friendly /bestie thing that i don't get. plus of course I'd never heard of him.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

If there are no bairns involved it might be time to call it a day, if there are, that obviously complicates things a tad to say the least.

[ColinNish]

Sorry mate but she is at it. Time to have one more go at a sit down conversation. If this gets you nowhere then you need to decide what you want, not trying to second guess her.

[stuart-farquhar]

Thanks for all replies. It's an interesting topic when you're not in the middle of it. I had confusion, a bit anger, then a bit of wtf! Now I'm a bit cooler. TBH I've been up two nights hardly eaten and still not in the least tired.

Ready for action!!

Thanks again

[beensaidbefore]

Try and 'keep the heid’. If she won't talk, write down all of the questions you would like an answer for and give them to her in the morning.

Tbh, I would be tempted to ask for an invite to Friday drinks and confront both.

[Jack]

Dishonesty.

"Not negotiable"

How (un)happy are you likely to become in coming months maybe years?

I appreciate different people work in different ways.

It wouldn't work for me but one of my good mates must have had a similar conversation almost 50 years ago. Although you've not suggested it I can say my friend enjoys a very 'open' relationship and they're still very happily married to this day!

[stuart-farquhar]

Try and 'keep the heid’. If she won't talk, write down all of the questions you would like an answer for and give them to her in the morning.

Tbh, I would be tempted to ask for an invite to Friday drinks and confront both.

Im very much not welcome. I intend a bit of surveillance over the coming weeks though.

[beensaidbefore]

Im very much not welcome. I intend a bit of surveillance over the coming weeks though.

Good shout. Keep the heid applies even more in this scenario! Try not to torment yourself in the meantime mate.

[matty_f]

Could you join her and the other guy at the pub?


Edit: just noticed that this has been covered.

Doesn't look good, imho. Would probably be telling her to bolt.

[Just Jimmy]

I think you either know or you don't. I think from your replies, deep down you already know what's going on.

Even if there is nothing I think you now will suspect things. She's broken your trust.

I wish you luck.

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[Hibby Bairn]

Tremendous thread. I pop on for latest re Stokes or restaurant review and I find this.

.net soap opera....friends with benefits...casual sex references. You won't get this on Pie and Bovril.

[Smartie]

It doesn't sound good to me. I think you know what you need to do.

A word of encouragement - I was in a relationship with someone a long time ago who I was mad about, we'd met when we were students. We'd been together for 5 years and had lived together for the last year. She was always a party girl and throughout our relationship she'd stayed out all night from time to time (we were young so that in itself wasn't that unusual, and let's face it, I was guilty of doing similar from time to time too).

It had happened quite a lot throughout the time we lived together and started to happen more often over the past few months after she had started a new job. There was a lot of the stuff you mentioned - staying late, going for drinks, evasive behaviour. It turned out she had met someone else, who she ultimately left me for. At least it wasn't a wee fling, she married the guy and has kids to him.

Anyhow, it was a relationship marred by trust issues on both sides and it was never really right, although it was fun for 2 carefree students early on. It wasn't really right as we got older and supposedly more serious. I hated the feeling you refer to - the kicking about at home wondering what they were up to, and ultimately I think that my worst thoughts were normally not far off the mark.

Anyhow, we split up and a bit later I met someone else. We've been together nearly 10 years and my new partner is fantastic. I trust her 100% and she has never done the things my ex used to do. Sometimes you just know that a relationship is right and that the person wouldn't lie or cheat, and that you wouldn't betray them by doing anything similar. She used to be a musician, so when someone is on the road for months at a time in a van with 5 guys you need to have pretty solid trust and tbh I've never even come close to doubting her.

That is what is out there for you my friend. Don't tolerate someone making you feel like this. As painful and grim as the short term might be, there is an entire world full of wonderful women who wouldn't do this to you. It can seem hard and daunting finding one, but find one you will.

I had grown to accept unacceptable behaviour. If indeed there is something going on and you are not ok with it, don't feel like you have to tolerate it.

All the best.

[ColinNish]

Excellent post Smartie. 👏👏👏

[brianmc]

In response to the OP, and I feel bad about this, BUT ...
If your relationship gets to the stage where you think your other half is out with someone else, based on the lies she's telling you (or you think she's telling you) then there's a fair chance the relationship is doomed - you need to get a definitive answer now. No point faffing about and torturing yourself.
Good luck.

[sleeping giant]

Even if she isn't having an affair , she doesn't sound like she is considering your feelings.

We are only getting one side of the story though ....

[Onceinawhile]

Even if she isn't having an affair , she doesn't sound like she is considering your feelings.

We are only getting one side of the story though ....

That's definitely correct. The "I intend surveillance over the next few weeks" is quite worrying tbh.

You might be worried but you can't go stalking her. That will make matters worse. It will either push her away or reinforce her belief that she needs to get away.

There's no right thing to do, but keep the head and don't do anything you shouldn't.

[snooky]

That's definitely correct. The "I intend surveillance over the next few weeks" is quite worrying tbh.

You might be worried but you can't go stalking her. That will make matters worse. It will either push her away or reinforce her belief that she needs to get away.

There's no right thing to do, but keep the head and don't do anything you shouldn't.

Sounds to me she might be away already, tbh.

[Dinkydoo]

Some women prepare themselves for exiting a long term relationship months before it actually happens. Building up a support network, lining up a new guy and emotionally distancing themself from their partner can all be part of that. Maybe men do it too but I haven't ever dated any :greengrin so I can only call on my own past experiences.

My take on it is that your wife is doing exactly that. She thinks that the relationship is probably over and is going through the process of getting over you before actually splitting up. Objectively, the psychology of it all is quite interesting - and selfish. Sorry.

The positive thing is that she hasn't left yet. Don't start stalking her, you have a lot of valid concerns and to be frank, she isn't considering your feelings at all in this. You need to have the 'talk'. Now. Tell her how you feel and ask her if she wants to try to fix the relationship and state how committed you are to making this work. That's all you can do at this stage.

Good luck.

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[Steve-O]

Some women prepare themselves for exiting a long term relationship months before it actually happens. Building up a support network, lining up a new guy and emotionally distancing themself from their partner can all be part of that. Maybe men do it too but I haven't ever dated any :greengrin so I can only call on my own past experiences.

My take on it is that your wife is doing exactly that. She thinks that the relationship is probably over and is going through the process of getting over you before actually splitting up. Objectively, the psychology of it all is quite interesting - and selfish. Sorry.

The positive thing is that she hasn't left yet. Don't start stalking her, you have a lot of valid concerns and to be frank, she isn't considering your feelings at all in this. You need to have the 'talk'. Now. Tell her how you feel and ask her if she wants to try to fix the relationship and state how committed you are to making this work. That's all you can do at this stage.

Good luck.

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Yup, it sounds like a familiar tale to me...the OP should prepare for the end, or get in there first and call her bluff.

[Hermit Crab]

The signs all point to her doing the dirty but you can't be 100% with conclusive evidence.

Do you know the guys name?

Does he have Facebook/Twitter that could maybe give you some clues?

Whats the name of the pub that they frequent every Friday?

Is it close to his gaff, or in town etc?

Maybe some of the cooler heads on here could do some surveillance for you, that way you don't have to be near them and possibly get spotted, then the games up and it could makes things 10x worse with a public confrontation?

A private investigator is an option, I've always fancied myself as a Magnum type. :greengrin

Seriously though I hope you get things sorted as I know the feelings you are referring too and its not nice at all. If you can prove it you'll get her on infidelity and get a divorce within 2 years and take her for everything which, if I'm honest serves her right for doing the dirty.

Please keep updating as this is really intriguing and fair play to you for posting about this. It must have taken balls mate.

[ColinNish]

The signs all point to her doing the dirty but you can't be 100% with conclusive evidence.

Do you know the guys name?

Does he have Facebook/Twitter that could maybe give you some clues?

Whats the name of the pub that they frequent every Friday?

Is it close to his gaff, or in town etc?

Maybe some of the cooler heads on here could do some surveillance for you, that way you don't have to be near them and possibly get spotted, then the games up and it could makes things 10x worse with a public confrontation?

A private investigator is an option, I've always fancied myself as a Magnum type. :greengrin

Seriously though I hope you get things sorted as I know the feelings you are referring too and its not nice at all. If you can prove it you'll get her on infidelity and get a divorce within 2 years and take her for everything which, if I'm honest serves her right for doing the dirty.

Please keep updating as this is really intriguing and fair play to you for posting about this. It must have taken balls mate.

One year if there's no bairns involved. :greengrin:

[Future17]

If you can prove it you'll get her on infidelity and get a divorce within 2 years and take her for everything which, if I'm honest serves her right for doing the dirty.

Please keep updating as this is really intriguing and fair play to you for posting about this. It must have taken balls mate.


One year if there's no bairns involved. :greengrin:

If adultery can be proven, there's no need to wait any time before commencing proceedings.

Not sure about "taking her for everything" though. Broadly speaking, the conduct of the parties to the marriage is irrelevant to the division of assets.

[Hermit Crab]

Who's up for a bit of good old snooping then? Hibs.net private detective agency anyone? :greengrin

[matty_f]

Who's up for a bit of good old snooping then? Hibs.net private detective agency anyone? :greengrin

I'll sit in front of the house holding a newspaper with eye holes cut out.

[ColinNish]

If adultery can be proven, there's no need to wait any time before commencing proceedings.

Not sure about "taking her for everything" though. Broadly speaking, the conduct of the parties to the marriage is irrelevant to the division of assets.

Sorry i meant 1 year with no bairns if you don't want to go to court and spend thousands. 😎

[ColinNish]

Who's up for a bit of good old snooping then? Hibs.net private detective agency anyone? :greengrin

Been there, done it - so happy to help. 😁

[Hermit Crab]

I'll sit in front of the house holding a newspaper with eye holes cut out.


I'll sit in the boozer they go to with a few cold ones. We could really help this boy out :greengrin

[bigwheel]

I'll sit in the boozer they go to with a few cold ones. We could really help this boy out :greengrin

Seems a great idea ! We could have a dot net night out there and Boo them ! [emoji6]

[Hermit Crab]

Seems a great idea ! We could have a dot net night out there and Boo them ! [emoji6]


We're all seasoned campaigners in the art of booing :greengrin

[lord bunberry]

We're all seasoned campaigners in the art of booing :greengrin
We could bring Stevenson along so it doesn't look to obvious :greengrin

[matty_f]

Seems a great idea ! We could have a dot net night out there and Boo them ! [emoji6]

I was going to do the newspaper thing anyway because I'm a weirdo, but I'll also meet everyone in the pub as well.

Anything to help a fellow Hibby out!

[Future17]

Sorry i meant 1 year with no bairns if you don't want to go to court and spend thousands. 😎

Ah right. In that case, you need the consent of the other party.

[oldbutdim]

Time to see a lawyer rather than debate it here.
It's all over.

[Hermit Crab]

Whats the latest then Stuart?

[Pete]

Time to see a lawyer rather than debate it here.
It's all over.

:agree:

Time to buy her a one way train ticket.

Location: Dumpsville.

[DH1875]

Whats the latest then Stuart?

It's Friday night. Maybe he's down the pub on a spying mission.

[Danderhall Hibs]

I'm happy to give her a bit chat to see how easily she's willing to fall into bed? Could do the newspaper thing as well?

Edit - btw sorry for making light of this. As Hermit said earlier it must've taken some balls to post this. Good luck to you mate.

[Wembley67]

I'm happy to give her a bit chat to see how easily she's willing to fall into bed? Could do the newspaper thing as well?

Edit - btw sorry for making light of this. As Hermit said earlier it must've taken some balls to post this. Good luck to you mate.

Some balls? It's a faceless forum :)

[Danderhall Hibs]

Some balls? It's a faceless forum :)

I know but I'd still find it difficult to write stuff like that down tbh.

[ColinNish]

I know but I'd still find it difficult to write stuff like that down tbh.

If its true......

[Ronniekirk]

Whats the latest then Stuart?

Shes told him to stop posting and stop being paranoid The Guys just a mate who she wants to go out with every Friday night for a drink and they might soon be work colleagues and its none of Stuarts business
Woman's Prerogative Twos company three s a crowd




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[bigwheel]

Shes told him to stop posting and stop being paranoid The Guys just a mate who she wants to go out with every Friday night for a drink and they might soon be work colleagues and its none of Stuarts business
Woman's Prerogative Twos company three s a crowd




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hmmm...how many future workmates do people go to meet secretly (making up stories instead) on a Sunday? from what we have read on here the guy has a lot to be paranoid about

[Ronniekirk]

hmmm...how many future workmates do people go to meet secretly (making up stories instead) on a Sunday? from what we have read on here the guy has a lot to be paranoid about

It was a bit tongue in cheek Think the O P will now want privacy


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[snooky]

If its true......

Yep, the OP could quite easily be some erky having a big laugh to himself. :dunno:

[Jim44]

I was going to say it's none of my business but, as it's on a public forum, I suppose it's open for comment. Personally, if the story is true, I think the wife needs a big metaphorical kick up the backside.

[bigwheel]

It was a bit tongue in cheek Think the O P will now want privacy


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[emoji106]

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

What did Magnum PI report re Friday evenings rendezvous?

[stuart-farquhar]

Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.

[Hermit Crab]

Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.


Take your time mate. We are a patient lot snd won't criticise your decisions.

[Future17]

Well. TBH Friday was a bit daft. I ended up following her along the motorway for about 60 miles in a daft pursuit.


Tonight an agreement has been reached. Its actually quite poignant and i will detail it as i imagine I'm not the first or last to experience this by any means.
Suffice to say I was wrong in my initial feelings but....... there has been a betrayal of sorts.

It's taken the whole weekend of soul baring, a huge amount of tears, not only hers, and we've thrashed out an arrangement

It's very unconventional. So will need time to sink in and report if anyone is interested in what has transpired.

As long as, when the dust has settled, you can be happy, that's all that matters.

Good luck.

[My_Wife_Camille]

Best thread in history imo

[Ronniekirk]

Best thread in history imo

The Dug Out should start a Spouse Advice Thread given the interest in this one [emoji102]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Billy Whizz]

Best thread in history imo

The lads really brave to post like this on here.
Hope he/they get a satisfactory resolution

[stuart-farquhar]

I've just read through the thread.
Yes it's true. Whilst the events are told from my perspective it's not a work of fiction.

[stuart-farquhar]

This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

I'm not even a close second.

Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

Its all real!!

The end

[Speedy]

This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

I'm not even a close second.

Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

Its all real!!

The end

Get out asap for your own sake. It sounds like she's already moved on, perhaps not physically yet but she's certainly wanting to and has stunned you into agreeing.

There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.

[matty_f]

Get out asap for your own sake. It sounds like she's already moved on, perhaps not physically yet but she's certainly wanting to and has stunned you into agreeing.

There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.

:agree:

Probably best to move on as quickly as you can, imho.

Stick in mate, must be tough to take.

[Hermit Crab]

This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

I'm not even a close second.

Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

Its all real!!

The end

Sorry to read that mate. As the others say get out now while you still can and get out there and have a good time. You don't have stick to her terms matey.

[EH6 Hibby]

This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

I'm not even a close second.

Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

Its all real!!

The end

Is there any particular reason you have decided to stay together?

It's clear that for her, the relationship is over. Just sounds like you're prolonging the agony by not making a clean break.

[Dinkydoo]

This story, if we can call it that, has actually taken place over many decades.

We were married over 35 years ago. In that time there has been an amazing amount of ordinary events and a few that we can call extraordinary.

I found out a few days ago that my wife didn't love me. In fact she hadn't for many years. My initial reaction was to lash out at what i thought was the problem. Her work, which she is undoubtedly committed to, and her work based mates that she treats as family.

I'm not even a close second.

Having admitted to me that she doesn't love me- that there is no way that we can have a physical relationship from this day forth!!!!!

We agreed that she will have her own life on her own terms.

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple. However I am free to have a relationship with whom I please provided it is conducted with discretion.

Bearing in mind just a few days ago i thought we were okish this is so difficult to comprehend.

Its all real!!

The end
This is not going to end well for you.

She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.

[easty]

You should move out. Soon. Or get her to move out, but either way it's going to do you no good at all to live together while you live separate lives.

Whether she's met someone new, or not, or is willing to tell you about it, or keeping it a secret...it's fairly obvious she's got someone else on her mind. It'll just hurt you more to stick around and be there while she meets someone else right in front of you.

[Onceinawhile]

Sore one mate. Hope you are doing alright.

Assuming you've got the finances and no young kids get yourself out and get a flat to yourself.

She has left you but doesn't have the guts to move out. Presumably because she doesn't want to look bad or because she wants the house. That's no life for you walking around on eggshells. You deserve happiness and you should go out and get it. If you don't you will spend your time trying to convince yourself it isn't over and that's why she hasn't left the house.

Guaranteed if you tried a new relationship whilst living together she would be fizzing. She wants to do whatever she wants but know she's got you to fall back on.

Tough. She's burnt that bridge. Keep a clear head, keep away from the booze for a bit and get your mates around you.

Failing that hibs.net is here for you.

[Onceinawhile]

We will for the foreseeable future remain in the same house and to all intents and purposes appear to be a couple.


Why does she want to appear to be a couple? So it doesn't reflect poorly on her choices up to now and so that it doesn't reflect badly on her at work.

Massively selfish behaviour from someone who has been hugely selfish for many years in denying you true happiness.

It'll be tough to do, but you need to be brave enough to front up, end it and get out the house.

[Billy Whizz]

Why does she want to appear to be a couple? So it doesn't reflect poorly on her choices up to now and so that it doesn't reflect badly on her at work.

Massively selfish behaviour from someone who has been hugely selfish for many years in denying you true happiness.

It'll be tough to do, but you need to be brave enough to front up, end it and get out the house.

Maybe if there's some kids involved, doesn't say

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

This is not going to end well for you.

She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.

I concur, good luck mate.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Maybe if there's some kids involved, doesn't say

As I said earlier in the thread that would certainly complicate things a tad. The worst thing he can do is nowt IMHO.

[Pretty Boy]

Given you have been together 35 years I'm guessing there are no really young kids about so get out now.

Lifes too short to be in a relationship that makes you miserable, even more so if it's just for the other party to keep up a pretence.

I know it's easier said than done but you have to make the tough decision. A mate of mine left a 15 year relationship 2 years ago after his wife confessed to seeing someone else. He joined a gym, got his own place, kick started his social life and eventually got on Match, Tinder etc. He's now seeing a really nice lady and is back enjoying a social life with his mates and looks 10 years younger. His ex begged him to come back as her 'new' relationship fell apart and she was jealous of him enjoying himself , he thought about it for all of 2 minutes then told her to bolt.

[lord bunberry]

Given you have been together 35 years I'm guessing there are no really young kids about so get out now.

Lifes too short to be in a relationship that makes you miserable, even more so if it's just for the other party to keep up a pretence.

I know it's easier said than done but you have to make the tough decision. A mate of mine left a 15 year relationship 2 years ago after his wife confessed to seeing someone else. He joined a gym, got his own place, kick started his social life and eventually got on Match, Tinder etc. He's now seeing a really nice lady and is back enjoying a social life with his mates and looks 10 years younger. His ex begged him to come back as her 'new' relationship fell apart and she was jealous of him enjoying himself , he thought about it for all of 2 minutes then told her to bolt.
I would agree with this. Life is too short, but it's never too late for you to find real happiness again with someone that treats you with the respect you deserve.

[WeeRussell]

This is not going to end well for you.

She doesn't love you and has been laying the groundwork for an alternative relationship without having the talk. Maybe she's been hinting for years but that doesn't change how selfish this is. Don't let her have her cake and eat it by keeping you hanging around whilst she moves on. It's not fair.

Break up publically, legally, move out and start your new life. You will struggle to move forward emotionally without a clean break and some distance. You deserve better.

:agree:

All the best. Tough time ahead in the short-term, but at least you know where you stand and can feel more free to act. Do what's right for you, doesn't sound like you owe her anything!

[nellio]

Unbelievable thread.

I would echo the other comments, get out now mate. Nothing to be gained by living together and pretending to be together for her image. Very selfish behaviour, get out and start to enjoy yourself again. All the best.

[stuart-farquhar]

Thanks for all the comment and advice.

Was a big help having "mates" around.

I'm sitting tight for now. Going to look at all possibilities.

First up is 10k walk a day. Was 6k. Ive loads of casual women friends (type of work i did) so I'm going to take them all out one by one-just because I can. Tomorrow night I'm going to a big annual fundraiser ball type thingy (Ive booked a last minute place and taking a lady with me (a friend).

I guess we never know how things will play out. The ability to react positively, whilst never our first instinct in a personal crises, is so important. Hope I'm up for it.

Next I will be needing fashion tips lol.But that's an entirely different thread!!

Kind regards.

[snooky]

Get out asap for your own sake. It sounds like she's already moved on, perhaps not physically yet but she's certainly wanting to and has stunned you into agreeing.

There's no need for you to stick to 'her terms'.

:agree: It's all very well bending in the wind to suit a partner's idiosyncrasies however, once they want out, all bets are off. You're free as a bird.

[Jack]

Never mind walking 10k. Your next step should be to see a lawyer.

You'll get a half hour chat free, maybe an hour, and you should use that time to establish what you are entitled to in the event of a separation and/or divorce.

I think the rules on how the assets of the marriage are divvied up have changed recently but in my day it included obvious things like house, cars and stuff. But it also included the value of each partners pension. It's not unusual for a pension to be worth as much as if not more than a house!!!!

You need proper advice and you need it as soon as you can get it.

[Hibs Class]

Never mind walking 10k. Your next step should be to see a lawyer.

You'll get a half hour chat free, maybe an hour, and you should use that time to establish what you are entitled to in the event of a separation and/or divorce.

I think the rules on how the assets of the marriage are divvied up have changed recently but in my day it included obvious things like house, cars and stuff. But it also included the value of each partners pension. It's not unusual for a pension to be worth as much as if not more than a house!!!!

You need proper advice and you need it as soon as you can get it.


:agree: If she's the main earner then this may be why she's so keen / willing for the new arrangement. She may even have taken legal advice herself so as to better understand what her options are, and the financial implications of each.

[ColinNish]

Never mind walking 10k. Your next step should be to see a lawyer.

You'll get a half hour chat free, maybe an hour, and you should use that time to establish what you are entitled to in the event of a separation and/or divorce.

I think the rules on how the assets of the marriage are divvied up have changed recently but in my day it included obvious things like house, cars and stuff. But it also included the value of each partners pension. It's not unusual for a pension to be worth as much as if not more than a house!!!!

You need proper advice and you need it as soon as you can get it.

Gotta agree with Jack here. Dinnae be sticking your head in the sand lad coz all that'll happen is you'll get left with nothing. I can guarantee you now that the 'cat's out the bag' she'll be seeing a lawyer toot sweet.

[Dinkydoo]

Thanks for all the comment and advice.

Was a big help having "mates" around.

I'm sitting tight for now. Going to look at all possibilities.

First up is 10k walk a day. Was 6k. Ive loads of casual women friends (type of work i did) so I'm going to take them all out one by one-just because I can. Tomorrow night I'm going to a big annual fundraiser ball type thingy (Ive booked a last minute place and taking a lady with me (a friend).

I guess we never know how things will play out. The ability to react positively, whilst never our first instinct in a personal crises, is so important. Hope I'm up for it.

Next I will be needing fashion tips lol.But that's an entirely different thread!!

Kind regards.

This reads as though you're trying to make her jealous or address the 'reasons' why you think she fell out of love with you in the hopes of winning her back.

Please don't.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[Pretty Boy]

This reads as though you're trying to make her jealous or address the 'reasons' why you think she fell out of love with you in the hopes of winning her back.

Please don't.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Have to agree with this.

We spend a lot of our life doing things for other people. This is a situation to do it for you.

[HH81]

Time for the straight red card.

[The_Horde]

Time for the straight red card.

Time for a 2 footed challenge first imo

[Andy74]

This thread has to be a wind up?!

[snooky]

This thread has to be a wind up?!

Said as much in post #65. Not totally convinced either way.

[Danderhall Hibs]

This thread has to be a wind up?!

I must admit I didn't see the 35 years of marriage twist coming.

Definitely feels like it has a bit of Irvine Jambo/Kahoonas about it.

[Just Jimmy]

I must admit I didn't see the 35 years of marriage twist coming.

Definitely feels like it has a bit of Irvine Jambo/Kahoonas about it.
It's got the East Enders feel to it, that's what.

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[Scouse Hibee]

Unbelievable thread.

I would echo the other comments, get out now mate. Nothing to be gained by living together and pretending to be together for her image. Very selfish behaviour, get out and start to enjoy yourself again. All the best.


:agree: Literally.

[Pretty Boy]

I must admit I didn't see the 35 years of marriage twist coming.

Definitely feels like it has a bit of Irvine Jambo/Kahoonas about it.

What a sad loss that was.

Champion boxer, 4 degrees, Bollywood star wife.

RIP.

[The_Horde]

I must admit I didn't see the 35 years of marriage twist coming.

Definitely feels like it has a bit of Irvine Jambo/Kahoonas about it.

Funnily enough there was a similar thread on KB not that long ago. Was equally hilarious.

[DH1875]

The OP is clearly at it. Thread totally smells of cow pat.

[Danderhall Hibs]

What a sad loss that was.

Champion boxer, 4 degrees, Bollywood star wife.

RIP.

Not forgetting the millions he raised for charity.

We'll never see his likes again. Will we?

[stuart-farquhar]

Guys.

This was not a wind up. Seriously.

I understand why some might think that.
I was simply looking for some outside input.

I have a plan now. Due to stuff getting in the way as it inevitably does, I'm prepared to wait to finalise things.

In truth a lot of what has occurred in the last two weeks has been brewing for a long time.

Sometimes I suppose we just ignore what with hindsight appears obvious. Ok its late in the day for me but I'm now facing what i hope is a brighter future (even at me age!!)

[McSwanky]

Guys.

This was not a wind up. Seriously.

I understand why some might think that.
I was simply looking for some outside input.

I have a plan now. Due to stuff getting in the way as it inevitably does, I'm prepared to wait to finalise things.

In truth a lot of what has occurred in the last two weeks has been brewing for a long time.

Sometimes I suppose we just ignore what with hindsight appears obvious. Ok its late in the day for me but I'm now facing what i hope is a brighter future (even at me age!!)
All in going to say to you is:

1. Is your username really your name?
2. You do realise that this thread is publicly viewable?

I don't imagine you would really want your wife reading this, so you might want to think about at least doing something with your username...

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3003 using Tapatalk

[sleeping giant]

I must admit I didn't see the 35 years of marriage twist coming.

Definitely feels like it has a bit of Irvine Jambo/Kahoonas about it.

Im sure I remember someone doing a parachute jump to raise money for him.

What about the Beyoncé from Niddrie thread ? That was mental.
That's going back a few years :-)

[ColinNish]

Guys.

This was not a wind up. Seriously.

I understand why some might think that.
I was simply looking for some outside input.

I have a plan now. Due to stuff getting in the way as it inevitably does, I'm prepared to wait to finalise things.

In truth a lot of what has occurred in the last two weeks has been brewing for a long time.

Sometimes I suppose we just ignore what with hindsight appears obvious. Ok its late in the day for me but I'm now facing what i hope is a brighter future (even at me age!!)


If you're seriously putting up with that nonsense from your wife then you need your head looked.

Sorry, but you only have one life and she's taking the absolute piss IMO.

[HH81]

Time for a 2 footed challenge first imo

Followed by a night in the ACCA. Oh the good old days.. dirty dirty dirty.

[Hibrandenburg]

Not sure if this is a windup or not but c'mon tae **** mate, at the very least you need to keep your self respect. She obviously sees you as a prop in her life to be cast away when she no longer has a use for you. You're worth more than that. GTF out pronto and make the best of your hand. It can't be any worse than being her safety net.

[stuart-farquhar]

All in going to say to you is:

1. Is your username really your name?
2. You do realise that this thread is publicly viewable?

I don't imagine you would really want your wife reading this, so you might want to think about at least doing something with your username...

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3003 using Tapatalk

No..It's not my real name. The story is real.

[Craig_HFC]

Get her straight to ****.

Get her out the house or yourself out the house asap. Who gives a shiny one what she wants, her right for you to care about her needs went out the window when she told you it was over.

Time for a clean break.

[ColinNish]

Thanks for all the comment and advice.

Was a big help having "mates" around.

I'm sitting tight for now. Going to look at all possibilities.

First up is 10k walk a day. Was 6k. Ive loads of casual women friends (type of work i did) so I'm going to take them all out one by one-just because I can. Tomorrow night I'm going to a big annual fundraiser ball type thingy (Ive booked a last minute place and taking a lady with me (a friend).

I guess we never know how things will play out. The ability to react positively, whilst never our first instinct in a personal crises, is so important. Hope I'm up for it.

Next I will be needing fashion tips lol.But that's an entirely different thread!!

Kind regards.
So how was your big night out?

[DH1875]

So how was your big night out?

His Mrs followed him and took loads of pictures. She showed them to family and friends and is now filling for divorce because he's a cheat. She is taking him for everything including the family home which he will need to move out off but continue to pay for as he's the main bread winner.

I don't for a minute believe the OP is for real but just incase he is..........he better get rid well before he dates anyone else or it'll bite him on the archie. His Mrs is counting on it so she can tell everyone its no her fault.

[stoneyburn hibs]

I'm maybe guilty of taking people at face value, which is no bad thing. I believe that the op is genuine, what's to gain by fabricating such a story ?

[Scouse Hibee]

The OP is actually the wife posting her own story to get some insight as to how her husband will respond.

[DublinHibs44]

Announce update.

[IWasThere2016]

Well I enjoyed that :greengrin

Left ma ex 2.5 years ago .. after 25+ years .. and have never looked back.

It's been fantastic without her and I now have a stunning younger g/f :cb

Good luck to the OP - and move on man. She isn't worth it..

[sleeping giant]

Well I enjoyed that :greengrin

Left ma ex 2.5 years ago .. after 25+ years .. and have never looked back.

It's been fantastic without her and I now have a stunning younger g/f :cb

Good luck to the OP - and move on man. She isn't worth it..

Happy you are happy man :-)

That sounds mental though after 25 years.
I've been married 18 years and am absolutely dependant on my wife :greengrin

I wouldn't know how to get places in the car :faf:

[MSK]

Happy you are happy man :-)

That sounds mental though after 25 years.
I've been married 18 years and am absolutely dependant on my wife :greengrin

I wouldn't know how to get places in the car :faf:Been with my Wife 30 years, married 27, I would be totally lost without her as I dont drive 😆

[lord bunberry]

Been with my Wife 30 years, married 27, I would be totally lost without her as I dont drive 😆

Mate I'm just round the corner and available at rates that would probably make you want to take the bus :greengrin

[Scouse Hibee]

Happy you are happy man :-)

That sounds mental though after 25 years.
I've been married 18 years and am absolutely dependant on my wife :greengrin

I wouldn't know how to get places in the car :faf:

Been married 25 years in August, would be lost as honestly never used an iron in all that time!

[snooky]

Been married 25 years in August, would be lost as honestly never used an iron in all that time!

You only carry woods in your bag then?

[Scouse Hibee]

You only carry woods in your bag then?

I'm not sure, will have to ask my wife as she carries the bag!

[snooky]

I wonder whatever happened to the OP?
a) Exposed as a WUM? <- my pick
b) Back with the missus
c) Having a wild time with new found freedom
d) Staying with his mum
e) Other

[heretoday]

How do you tell your partner they've got bad breath?

[snooky]

How do you tell your partner they've got bad breath?

Start kissing the dug and she might get the message. :coffee:

[SanFranHibs]

How do you tell your partner they've got bad breath?

Wear one of the dentists white masks or just say 'Your breath stinks'.

[heretoday]

Wear one of the dentists white masks or just say 'Your breath stinks'.

Yes it's time for the direct approach. I'm fed up leaving bottles of Corsodyl about the place anyway.

[stuart-farquhar]

I wonder whatever happened to the OP?
a) Exposed as a WUM? <- my pick
b) Back with the missus
c) Having a wild time with new found freedom
d) Staying with his mum
e) Other
What's a WUM

[Just Alf]

Ah....

a) is now my pick as well.

If you'd come back with an update 1st THEN asked the question I'd happily have given you the benefit the doubt

:D



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[stuart-farquhar]

Ah....

a) is now my pick as well.

If you'd come back with an update 1st THEN asked the question I'd happily have given you the benefit the doubt

:D



Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

I've no idea what the doubt is about. It was a bit odd and I probably should have not posted. But hindsight etc. Nor have I a clue what a WUM is.

Update. Been travelling a bit in Europe. Met an American lady whom I'm meeting in Madrid soon. Also a Yorkshire lass (well she's retired!) Also just spent the weekend with an Edinburgh woman courtesy of tinder.I know i know! Meeting yet another soon in southern Spain Then back home for some clothes. Spouse and I have called it quits obviously and I will move permanently when it suits me.

Ok going a bit sweet shop crazy. Just enjoying the freedom to go and see whatever and whoever whenever. Will no doubt bump to earth sooner rather than later. But in the meantime!! Btw I'm retired and do the odd bit of work from time to time. I will be on the Costa del.sol next week so if any one is around pm me and will share a beer.

[Future17]

I've no idea what the doubt is about. It was a bit odd and I probably should have not posted. But hindsight etc. Nor have I a clue what a WUM is.

Update. Been travelling a bit in Europe. Met an American lady whom I'm meeting in Madrid soon. Also a Yorkshire lass (well she's retired!) Also just spent the weekend with an Edinburgh woman courtesy of tinder.I know i know! Meeting yet another soon in southern Spain Then back home for some clothes. Spouse and I have called it quits obviously and I will move permanently when it suits me.

Ok going a bit sweet shop crazy. Just enjoying the freedom to go and see whatever and whoever whenever. Will no doubt bump to earth sooner rather than later. But in the meantime!! Btw I'm retired and do the odd bit of work from time to time. I will be on the Costa del.sol next week so if any one is around pm me and will share a beer.

I think WUM must be an acronym for Wind-Up Merchant, but I don't think you are one.

Congrats on the new lease of life.

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Good to see this thread showing signs of life, quality entertainment.

[stuart-farquhar]

I think WUM must be an acronym for Wind-Up Merchant, but I don't think you are one.

Congrats on the new lease of life.

Thank you. It just shows that we all have the ability to change if we want to. I would probably have preferred to do the growing old together stuff, and yet now I've broken away so many of the things that seemed important, the material things mainly and of course our sense of who we are and our projection to the world of who we think we are. Well goodbye to all that. Hello to new adventures.

As an aside I had no idea how many single women over 50 are looking for the same. I'm amazed. I've been invited to the far east, Oz, California and Russia (pass on that as she was a bit scary!!)

So you see if a late middle aged, balding, slightly paunchy guy can do a this anyone can.

[Just Alf]

Thank you. It just shows that we all have the ability to change if we want to. I would probably have preferred to do the growing old together stuff, and yet now I've broken away so many of the things that seemed important, the material things mainly and of course our sense of who we are and our projection to the world of who we think we are. Well goodbye to all that. Hello to new adventures.

As an aside I had no idea how many single women over 50 are looking for the same. I'm amazed. I've been invited to the far east, Oz, California and Russia (pass on that as she was a bit scary!!)

So you see if a late middle aged, balding, slightly paunchy guy can do a this anyone can.

It seems you might be on the level with us... If that's the case then apologias for the doubts and, sincerely, .. Good luck on your future relationship, hopefully you'll find what you're looking for/deserve.




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[Jack]

Thank you. It just shows that we all have the ability to change if we want to. I would probably have preferred to do the growing old together stuff, and yet now I've broken away so many of the things that seemed important, the material things mainly and of course our sense of who we are and our projection to the world of who we think we are. Well goodbye to all that. Hello to new adventures.

As an aside I had no idea how many single women over 50 are looking for the same. I'm amazed. I've been invited to the far east, Oz, California and Russia (pass on that as she was a bit scary!!)

So you see if a late middle aged, balding, slightly paunchy guy can do a this anyone can.

And if you can't find a 50 year old get two 25 year olds!

[Sean1875]

I've no idea what the doubt is about. It was a bit odd and I probably should have not posted. But hindsight etc. Nor have I a clue what a WUM is.

Update. Been travelling a bit in Europe. Met an American lady whom I'm meeting in Madrid soon. Also a Yorkshire lass (well she's retired!) Also just spent the weekend with an Edinburgh woman courtesy of tinder.I know i know! Meeting yet another soon in southern Spain Then back home for some clothes. Spouse and I have called it quits obviously and I will move permanently when it suits me.

Ok going a bit sweet shop crazy. Just enjoying the freedom to go and see whatever and whoever whenever. Will no doubt bump to earth sooner rather than later. But in the meantime!! Btw I'm retired and do the odd bit of work from time to time. I will be on the Costa del.sol next week so if any one is around pm me and will share a beer.

Great work my man! Very impressive :greengrin

[The_Exile]

I'm loving your work Farquhar, congrats on your new lease of life and enjoying the freedoms your recent trials have brung, the worlds your oyster etc. I always found the more 'mature' I got the more fulfilling the relationships :thumbsup:

[TRC]

As my good old Irish mate used to say "the older the fiddle timmy, the finer the tune"

[Hibrandenburg]

Thank you. It just shows that we all have the ability to change if we want to. I would probably have preferred to do the growing old together stuff, and yet now I've broken away so many of the things that seemed important, the material things mainly and of course our sense of who we are and our projection to the world of who we think we are. Well goodbye to all that. Hello to new adventures.

As an aside I had no idea how many single women over 50 are looking for the same. I'm amazed. I've been invited to the far east, Oz, California and Russia (pass on that as she was a bit scary!!)

So you see if a late middle aged, balding, slightly paunchy guy can do a this anyone can.

Go get them tiger.

[ColinNish]

WUM - wind up merchant. Yes you are.

Where exactly are you meeting all these women?

[calumhibee1]

WUM - wind up merchant. Yes you are.

Where exactly are you meeting all these women?

Guy's a shegger. You're just jealous. Top marks OP, get wired in.

[ColinNish]

Guy's a shegger. You're just jealous. Top marks OP, get wired in.

😂😂😂😂 aye right.

[matty_f]

😂😂😂😂 aye right.

'mon the ****ger!!

[stuart-farquhar]

Well tonight I was with a lovely lady from San Francisco. Just drinks and some food at a lively tapas bar in Old town Malaga.

So wonderful to meet different people. Hoping to see her again soon. Tbh I was a wee bit smitten! She's going to Cambodia soon (her d in law is from there and there is a wedding) and .... Well who knows.

Where do i meet them? Well so far Edinburgh, Leeds, Madrid and Marbella. Oh and Malaga of course tonight.

[sleeping giant]

Well tonight I was with a lovely lady from San Francisco. Just drinks and some food at a lively tapas bar in Old town Malaga.

So wonderful to meet different people. Hoping to see her again soon. Tbh I was a wee bit smitten! She's going to Cambodia soon (her d in law is from there and there is a wedding) and .... Well who knows.

Where do i meet them? Well so far Edinburgh, Leeds, Madrid and Marbella. Oh and Malaga of course tonight.


Would you do her ?

:-)

[snooky]

'mon the ****ger!!

Maybe the Farquhar would be more apt?

[HUTCHYHIBBY]

Well tonight I was with a lovely lady from San Francisco. Just drinks and some food at a lively tapas bar in Old town Malaga.

So wonderful to meet different people. Hoping to see her again soon. Tbh I was a wee bit smitten! She's going to Cambodia soon (her d in law is from there and there is a wedding) and .... Well who knows.

Where do i meet them? Well so far Edinburgh, Leeds, Madrid and Marbella. Oh and Malaga of course tonight.

OK, I'll say it, less talk, more pics! :-)

[ColinNish]

Well tonight I was with a lovely lady from San Francisco. Just drinks and some food at a lively tapas bar in Old town Malaga.

So wonderful to meet different people. Hoping to see her again soon. Tbh I was a wee bit smitten! She's going to Cambodia soon (her d in law is from there and there is a wedding) and .... Well who knows.

Where do i meet them? Well so far Edinburgh, Leeds, Madrid and Marbella. Oh and Malaga of course tonight.

Smart Erse. You know what i meant. Tinder did you say?

[marinello59]

I've no idea what the doubt is about. It was a bit odd and I probably should have not posted. But hindsight etc. Nor have I a clue what a WUM is.

Update. Been travelling a bit in Europe. Met an American lady whom I'm meeting in Madrid soon. Also a Yorkshire lass (well she's retired!) Also just spent the weekend with an Edinburgh woman courtesy of tinder.I know i know! Meeting yet another soon in southern Spain Then back home for some clothes. Spouse and I have called it quits obviously and I will move permanently when it suits me.

Ok going a bit sweet shop crazy. Just enjoying the freedom to go and see whatever and whoever whenever. Will no doubt bump to earth sooner rather than later. But in the meantime!! Btw I'm retired and do the odd bit of work from time to time. I will be on the Costa del.sol next week so if any one is around pm me and will share a beer.

Don't fall for it guys. Anything that moves is at risk. Anything!

[Mr White]

Don't fall for it guys. Anything that moves is at risk. Anything!

He's got Leigh Griffiths-like stamina with Wayne Rooney's tastes :greengrin

[Pretty Boy]

The last 2 or 3 pages of this thread have been gold even if the OP is at it.

I know a few boys who are into the Tinder lark and they do seem to be ****ging their way through the UK so I'm inclined to think he might be telling the truth.

[McSwanky]

guy's a shegger. You're just jealous. Top marks op, get wired in.

:lol::lol::lol:

[stuart-farquhar]

Smart Erse. You know what i meant. Tinder did you say?

Yes. But also in person on one occasion.

Tinder works.And of course as you move the catchment area changes. So in holiday areas you have locals and those just on holiday So!!!! If you get me.

[ColinNish]

Yes. But also in person on one occasion.

Tinder works.And of course as you move the catchment area changes. So in holiday areas you have locals and those just on holiday So!!!! If you get me.

Got you now. Very good. Enjoy your new found freedom.

[Pete]

He's got Leigh Griffiths-like stamina with Wayne Rooney's tastes :greengrin

🤣

[pacorosssco]

Best thread ive read. OP if true sounds like you seen coming and have jumped into single life.Fair play and sorry a life partner betrayed you. STD is most common over 50 noo bear in mind.Id be lost without my missus and wouldnt like date etc today when you can hook up any time . Im more jealous of your travels. I like to get around and old malaga is v.nice. mar gar reeta bra ga tan

[stuart-farquhar]

Best thread ive read. OP if true sounds like you seen coming and have jumped into single life.Fair play and sorry a life partner betrayed you. STD is most common over 50 noo bear in mind.Id be lost without my missus and wouldnt like date etc today when you can hook up any time . Im more jealous of your travels. I like to get around and old malaga is v.nice. mar gar reeta bra ga tan

Just to say we're still together. It’s never too late believe me!.

[One Day Soon]

I have never taken drugs, not non-prescription ones at any rate, but I imagine that the experience of reading this thread has in parts approximated the same effects.

I think my favourite post was Hibrandenburg's advice to the OP that he should he leave his wife/partner and "make the best of your hand". :hyper

Meanwhile, is the OP saying in his last post that he is still with his wife?

[The Modfather]

Have Stuart Farquhar and Irvine Jambo been seen in the same room at the same time? 🤔😀

[pollution]

Have Stuart Farquhar and Irvine Jambo been seen in the same room at the same time? 🤔😀
Only by Stewart Farquhar and Stewart Farquhar!

[stuart-farquhar]

Only by Stewart Farquhar and Stewart Farquhar!

Not with spouse no.

Just thought a wee update might be interesting