8th June 2001
A Hibee is Born
The cabbage is a family affair!
by George Lewis

Saturday October 23, 1982….. Pele's birthday. The day started like any other Saturday in October, except that it was dry, warm and sunny…. and, my wife went into labour.

As the car nosed out of Iona Street, into Easter Road, en route for Simpson's, I caught a glimpse of the floodlights at the cowshed end. I suppose I knew that, one way or another, this day was going to be momentous; I was about to become a father, I was about to become immortal, what better way to celebrate life and birth with a trip to Ibrox ?? After all, it was only 9.30 am.

"I'm sorry it's happening today" from the back of the car " You'll miss the game"….. at least that's how it looks in print. What I heard was "You WILL miss the game.

The head took over again as I gracefully accepted my lot. Mind you, what was the story my dad used to tell me about the day he got married? "We beat Falkirk 8-0… never saw the game…wish I'd put a bet on. It was all downhill from there, son…". Well, if I can't make it to Ibrox, what about a wee punt? That'll give some stories to bore the bairn with…

"Aye, I can remember it so well, son. Three up by half time, two from Super Ally and one from big Gordon Rae. Then the second half belonged to Benny Brazil. A thirty-yarder, followed by a mazy dribble beating 4 defenders and leaving Davie Cooper in awe, and McLeod wrapped up his hat-trick just on full time from the penalty spot…. Aye, we got a penalty at Ibrox….."

Fast forward to half past six…..HALF PAST SIX!!!!! Hardly a cup of tea, let alone a chance to nip out to Ladbroke's. The world outside might have stopped turning for all I knew, but as I held the newest addition to the population, all other thoughts had ceased. Mind you, what was it that so and so said? "When men are born, they are given the choice of passion or common sense. If they choose to avoid common sense, they are given a football team to support." As I looked down , those eyes staring back up at me seemed very bright, alert and, …. Oh my god….. sensible…..

"Nurse,I think you've made a mistake…….."

So, after the obligatory call to the new grandparents, my next duty was to tell my own granny….

"Granny, you have a great grandson"

"Oh, that's lovely, son……. Here, the Hibs were awfy unlucky the day, were they no?"

As it turned out, unlucky was not the word. A penalty awarded against us, a goal chalked off. Nothing unusual there, but Ralphy Callachan didn't help by missing a penalty….. and, his mate Jackie McNamara managed to clip a 20 yarder past Jim McArthur into his own net. I mean, come on guys, I know you needed cash to start the pub…..

McNamara's boy is doing the dirty on us as well! (sns)

Anyways, I should've read the signs. The new arrival was destined not to herald the advent of a new order in world football. In fact, as the years went on, he was witness to some of the less celebrated moments in Hibs folklore……

His first trip to Easter Road, a reserve game against Aberdeen…. he fell asleep.

His first cup tie…. Airdrie . A goal up, McIntyre misses a penalty, we get beaten 2-1.

His first European tie…. Liege. Houchen misses a penalty. 0-0.

The relegation match against Dundee United.

Oh, and let's not forget his social experiment …. Yep, he decided for a while that he wanted to be a Jambo. I mean, of all the kickings that life can give you….

Even televised games were a nightmare…. That cup tie against the Jambos at Easter Road, when we thought we'd saved it, and they scored at the death.

Having said all that, his blood is green. He refused to go the Cup semi, on the grounds that he was bad luck. When he got the chance to go to the final, he decided to work instead……. just in case.

Aye, but he still watched it on the telly……

To top it all, though, he turned 18 last year, and has been discovering the delights of Edinburgh nightlife for the first time …. so he tells me. I kid you not, he sees one of his heroes in a bar a few months ago, plucks up the courage to walk up to him, and says….

"Can I buy you a beer, Russell?"

Sorry, Eck.